A few real life examples

[zekko]

I heard about these two situations yesterday so I thought I would share them:

The first is about a friend of mine. His wife divorced him earlier in the year, against his many protests. That put him in a bad situation because she was the breadwinner. He is disabled and required government assistance just to find a cheap place where he could live. Turns out his wife had a guy on the side, but it also turned out he wasn't all he was cracked out to be. So she calls my friend, who is only too happy to drop back into her life, and bed. He's still living in the cheap housing, but is now spending a few days a week with her. And he is on cloud nine about it. Obviously I think it's a big mistake on his part, but it's his life.

The other is an older woman I know. Her husband is an alcoholic, and she kicked him out of the house after he fell off the wagon and went on a bender (it was her house before they got married). He was gone a few months but she has now taken him back, and he is playing the repentent role.

I'm not sure what conclusions to draw from these. In each case the guy is in a weak place financially so has ended up somewhat subservient to the woman. But it's amazing how it seems some people can't stay apart, even when the relationship is dysfunctional. Couples DO form emotional attachments to each other that can make it difficult to seperate. I know there are some who have argued that pair bonding is unnatural for humans, and I have never thought that was the case.

 

[Warrior74]

I heard about these two situations yesterday so I thought I would share them:

The first is about a friend of mine. His wife divorced him earlier in the year, against his many protests. That put him in a bad situation because she was the breadwinner. He is disabled and required government assistance just to find a cheap place where he could live. Turns out his wife had a guy on the side, but it also turned out he wasn't all he was cracked out to be. So she calls my friend, who is only too happy to drop back into her life, and bed. He's still living in the cheap housing, but is now spending a few days a week with her. And he is on cloud nine about it. Obviously I think it's a big mistake on his part, but it's his life.

This guy should have sued for Alimony, with his disability and her being the breadwinner, he could have taken her to the cleaners.

 

[zekko]

This guy should have sued for Alimony, with his disability and her being the breadwinner, he could have taken her to the cleaners.

He did sue for alimony. He got a lump sum (which he said included the equivalent of alimony for six months or a year, I can't remember which) as a settlement. I thought that the amount that he got was rather paltry, outrageously small in fact. Nowhere near half the assets. If it had been a disabled woman there's no question she would have gotten more. In fact, I'm sure she would have gotten more even if she wasn't disabled. In hindsight, he said he had a lousy lawyer.

The funny thing is that the wife didn't think he was entitled to anything. She filed for divorce and she expected him to just go along with it and disappear, leaving her with everything. She was furious when she found out he had retained his own lawyer. In her mind she was paying most of the bills at the time so she should keep everything (he wasn't disabled when they got married).

In both cases above the aggrieved party is better off on his/her own than in a toxic situation with another.

In the second case, I'd say they were maybe even both aggrieved parties. Obviously the wife was aggrieved by her husband being an alcoholic. And I'd consider it a pretty large offense being kicked out of the house. I'm not sure I would return to a situation like that, although if I was an alcoholic I suppose I might be guilt riddled enough to feel I deserved it.