A different situation with my ex, trying NC.

[Riprock713]

What's up everyone? I posted in the NC thread already but I'm just making this to see if anyone has any advice.
My ex girl and I had been dating almost 2 years when she got out of Marine Corps boot camp, she then had a 20 day leave, Everything was great the first 10 days but then she found out I drank while she was gone and didnt tell her about it. She was mad at me after that and I played AFC the whole next 20 days asking her to forgive me and texting her too much, ( I know I fvcked up .)
But the thing is she kept calling me her boyfriend until 3 days before she left then she broke it off with me and the next day I found out she was already talking to some other guy. I know all this is typical but she is in MCT now and I know I'm not going to hear from her at all probably for the rest of my life so in my eyes it makes NC harder because I know she has completely moved on and isnt going to even try to contact me.
I am not good looking at all, pretty shy, But I do work out often and have a okay body.
The worst part of this whole situation is that my first LTR I came here and read everything and I knew EXACTLY what to do but I got caught in the moment and my inner Beta came out and I messed it all up.

Any advice? I still think about her all the time although I try not to. Also I suck with girls, I have been watching some of good looking losers videos on youtube. if anyone has any reccomendations I would be extremely thankful!

Thanks for reading this long post!

 

[Between_The_Lines]

What's up everyone? I posted in the NC thread already but I'm just making this to see if anyone has any advice.
My ex girl and I had been dating almost 2 years when she got out of Marine Corps boot camp, she then had a 20 day leave, Everything was great the first 10 days but then she found out I drank while she was gone and didnt tell her about it. She was mad at me after that and I played AFC the whole next 20 days asking her to forgive me and texting her too much, ( I know I fvcked up .)
But the thing is she kept calling me her boyfriend until 3 days before she left then she broke it off with me and the next day I found out she was already talking to some other guy. I know all this is typical but she is in MCT now and I know I'm not going to hear from her at all probably for the rest of my life so in my eyes it makes NC harder because I know she has completely moved on and isnt going to even try to contact me.
I am not good looking at all, pretty shy, But I do work out often and have a okay body.
The worst part of this whole situation is that my first LTR I came here and read everything and I knew EXACTLY what to do but I got caught in the moment and my inner Beta came out and I messed it all up.

Any advice? I still think about her all the time although I try not to. Also I suck with girls, I have been watching some of good looking losers videos on youtube. if anyone has any reccomendations I would be extremely thankful!

Thanks for reading this long post!

Any advice? Yeah, start by going inside yourself and taking a flamethrower to that insidious weed eating you up known as "learned helplessness". Anything and everything that promotes your getting off your ass and building yourself up so you can gradually begin to value yourself is what you ought to be striving after.

Reject any and all pity from others. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and you ought to train yourself to be insulted, indignant even, at others who feel bad for you - it won't get you anywhere. Seek out people who will help you - there's a difference.

Someone living out in San Francisco recently visiting my neck of the woods for a weekend once told me that they (SF) "treat their bums very well". "Very well???", I thought to myself. "Handouts??? This guy thinks handouts is a form of treating the homeless well??? What incentive do these people have to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps out of their wretched day to day existence? Why bother?"

This is pity for you. "I suck!" "I can't ever get girls!" "I miss her!" "I'm ugly!" So like a hungry child, you instinctively go on the search for that round pity-lactating t1t, each and every time failure slaps you upside the head. Break the spell. Stand up against the part of yourself that beckons you to stay down, to stay in bed, to feel sorry for yourself, to give up. Become aware that you've allowed yourself to look at yourself in this manner, and next slowly come to realize that you can replace this way of self-perception with a healthier, stronger, more life-affirming outlook, but only if you will it. Oh, and as for NC? Consider each day that goes by in which you successfully carry out NC as a step in the right direction toward reclaiming your dignity and self respect back - both of which you're going to absolutely need to get to the promised land of self-love.

 

[Ray S]

Hi, I recomend checking out a self development YouTube channel called Infinite Waters Diving Deep. The guy does a lot of videos on relationships etc which are really good.

I think with how you are feeling at the moment his videos will provide you with some perspective.

 

[Riprock713]

Any advice? Yeah, start by going inside yourself and taking a flamethrower to that insidious weed eating you up known as "learned helplessness". Anything and everything that promotes your getting off your ass and building yourself up so you can gradually begin to value yourself is what you ought to be striving after.

Reject any and all pity from others. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and you ought to train yourself to be insulted, indignant even, at others who feel bad for you - it won't get you anywhere. Seek out people who will help you - there's a difference.

Someone living out in San Francisco recently visiting my neck of the woods for a weekend once told me that they (SF) "treat their bums very well". "Very well???", I thought to myself. "Handouts??? This guy thinks handouts is a form of treating the homeless well??? What incentive do these people have to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps out of their wretched day to day existence? Why bother?"

This is pity for you. "I suck!" "I can't ever get girls!" "I miss her!" "I'm ugly!" So like a hungry child, you instinctively go on the search for that round pity-lactating t1t, each and every time failure slaps you upside the head. Break the spell. Stand up against the part of yourself that beckons you to stay down, to stay in bed, to feel sorry for yourself, to give up. Become aware that you've allowed yourself to look at yourself in this manner, and next slowly come to realize that you can replace this way of self-perception with a healthier, stronger, more life-affirming outlook, but only if you will it. Oh, and as for NC? Consider each day that goes by in which you successfully carry out NC as a step in the right direction toward reclaiming your dignity and self respect back - both of which you're going to absolutely need to get to the promised land of self-love.

Hell yes! Thank you for this post, So just to confirm: No self pity and I wont give up , I realize I need to be comfortable in my own skin before I can start worrying about girls. I needed to hear that post man. Thanks