5 months after a break-up... I need some help.

[Axcell]

Hey guys, maybe some of you recall my previous posts. I was with this girl from the beginning of high school right through my senior year before college. Had some ups and downs, but overall, things were great. She's a year younger so right now she's a senior. We broke up for the first time this summer, and than we got back together (she ran back), and we broke up again. But a NOTE: When we first hooked up in grade 9, we were together in the summer (for 2 weeks), she dumped me, we didn't speak for a month or two, and than she came back. And when we got back together that date, it lasted 3 years.
She went to summer school, got a lot of compliments from guys (I'd say shes a HB 7.5-8). And her head got a bit too big... she acted distant, started being dishonest, and well, she dumped me for good for the 3rd time this summer. I did the dumb thing of waiting.. waited 2 weeks, she never called or nothing. I went to go see her... she started off with a negative vibe, than things rekindled.. we hooked back up. That same day, I come home, and she dumps me via an IM. Ever since than... we haven't spoken.
About 3 weeks after that, she started chatting up with this guy who I had some problems with in high school (she knew we didn't like each other)... some stuff happened with them. Than next thing I know she's trying to hook up and do stuff with this guy from her elementary school (I heard that she missed being kissed, etc.... so she wanted to make out with him and stuff.)

Well, about 2 weeks ago, it looks like she found a new guy... but unlike those other "flings", this one's a serious "LTR-like" relationship with this new guy. Her MSN name has his name on it, etc (unlike those other guys.)

Bad news? I don't even know if I'm over her. 1st year of college for me, I don't feel great, school's insane with work, and I just have no game after being in a relationship for so long. What's even worse is that I lost my virginity to this girl (as did she). And I just... it's hard to believe she went flip flop so quickly, she was a good girl... went to summer school... and came out a *****. She than did crazy things like throw eggs at my house (after our break up), sh*t talk me (I've lost too many friends to count from high school because of her big mouth.) And sad part is that when I met her, she was nothing, and I was mr. popular... now the roles are reversed.

I have so much on this girl, but I know its not right to leak it out (i.e. everyone still thinks shes a virgin and that shes some nice innocent girl)... but she's really not. I've kept quiet for so long, been trying to get over her... but I can't. Now new rumours are circulating from this new guy (who HATES me due to the **** she instilled in his head about how bad I was) that I was replaced, which somehow is making him mr. popular.

One last note: When I met her, she was an HB7, than she... well... grew up and turned to an 8.

Need some advice, absolutely ANYTHING on how I should handle the situation. I don't want advice like "go out have fun" or "go to the gym to get your mind off things or occupy a hobby" I need specific advice on how to handle the situation with this girl and these groups of friends. Up till now I've been avoiding the crowd of people but its practically impossible. I haven't seen her for 4 months now, and we haven't been together for 5 months.

She's clearly psycho and has turned into a sl*ut since I went out with her, but everyone is convinced she's so innocent and nice, and she's practically altered everyone's perception of me since we broke up since when we broke up, I lost out of touch with the crowd... and the problem is that this crowd... is linked practically everywhere I go (family events, parties, etc.) I don't know how to handle these rumours, my name rep is downhill.

Thanks for everyone's time.

 

[Warrior74]

Nobody has responded because you really don't want to hear what they have to say. What you do defines what kind of man you are. What kind of man are you? Are you the type of man who obessess over an old girlfriend? Who wants to ruin her reputation as revenge? Or are you the type of man who wants to move forward to the next part of his life, get his game back and enjoy new experiences and new women? It's for you to decide. When you decide what you are, you will know what to do. Good luck.

 

[AAAgent]

life will keep moving with or without you. She apparently chose to move along with her life, you should do the same. What has happened already is in the past, the only thing you can do is work towards a better future for yourself. Chin up.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Need some advice, absolutely ANYTHING on how I should handle the situation. I don't want advice like "go out have fun" or "go to the gym to get your mind off things or occupy a hobby" I need specific advice on blah blah blah

It doesn't work that way, bud. You can't ask for advice and then immediately qualify it by stating what you DON'T want to hear. It either works one way or the other. What you're really saying is, "tell me something that I want to hear so I can rationalize it to myself and not step outside of my comfort zone".

First and foremost, go to the gym. You will increase your body's natural testosterone and endorphin production and in as few as 2-3 weeks you will notice very real changes in your brain chemistry that will make you feel more alert, confident, and less depressed. In as few as 2-3 months, you can also have a new body that reflects these inner changes. Sorry if you didn't want to hear this advice, but there's a reason it's classic advice for getting over a breakup. BECAUSE IT WORKS.

Secondly, I can almost guarantee that you will not even be thinking about this situation 3 years from now. You are about to enter the prime of your dating career. Why on earth would you be fixated on the first and only girl you've had? Did you really think you'd spend the rest of your life with a girl you started dating before you could even get your driver's permit?

Women come and go, my friend. There is nothing we can do to change this, we can only find ways of accepting it. Nobody's trying to tell you that what you went through wasn't hard, but the fact remains that it's a very common experience, you're still young, and you need to cut loose this emotional baggage so that you can continue to grow as a person and enjoy your college years.

Your relationship is now over. Your ex only has the power to hurt you, that YOU GIVE HER. You need to REMOVE that power she has over you in your mind, and take real steps towards putting the past in the past. At a certain point you must simply move on.