4 year old former oneitis swings back around chat transcript

[Divorced w 3]

Me: Monday, madame?
Samantha: Hey! Yes! You still good?
Me: Oui
Samantha: Did your gf approve?
Me: Oui mademoiselle
Samantha: Excellent
Samantha: Aka she thinks Sam is a man
Me: You figured it out
Samantha: I mean I get it. I wouldn’t want the drama either
Me: I’m upfront
Samantha: What did you say?
Me: I have friends, I’m having dinner, cest la vie
Me: Pas probleme
Samantha: Did you mention I’ve seen your weiner?
(zany face emoji)
Me: Sammy!
Me: You’re bad
Samantha: Always fun trouble
Me: Capital T
Samantha: You love it
Samantha: You’re allowed to admit it
Me: This isn’t a deposition
Samantha: Oh you’re into role play??
Me: It’s the weekend
Samantha: So true!
Samantha: So with your boo thang?
Me: No she’s across the country at a country music festival
Me: I’m with my children
Samantha: Since when did you get all serious?
Me: What do you mean
Samantha: I’m trying to play around!
Samantha: “No she’s at a festival” — so straightforward and serious!
Me: Make it better
Samantha: Make what better?
Me: What I said - make it more fun
Samantha: Your situation?
Samantha: I was trying to be trouble but you shut it down
Me: Make the festival comment more fun
Samantha: Unfortunately the only role I get to play tonight is dad. She’s out west hanging with her friends at some weird festival.
Samantha: Give me suuuumthin
Samantha: The good olde days when you tried to hit on me
Me: So are we skipping dinner and just going straight to the back of the car?
Samantha: Game
Me: It’s on
Samantha: Yeah sureeeeee
Me: Don’t say I didn’t try
Samantha: You’re trying to tease me!
Samantha: Like not in the fun way though
Samantha: Also your car or mine?
Me: Yours I don’t have time to clean out after the kids this weekend
Samantha: Fineeeee
Samantha: Although I can still work magic in the passengers seat
Me: Or just meet at your place and door dash the French
Samantha: I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not
Me: You wanted me to bring it
Samantha: And are you kidding around or being serious?
Me: What do you think
Samantha: I don’t know! That’s why I’m asking
Me: I think if this was serious you wouldn’t object
Samantha: So youre not being serious and you’re just making fun of me?
Samantha: That doesn’t feel very good
Me: I’m serious
Samantha: Really?
Samantha: I mean I wouldn’t object
Me: So your place and order in?
Samantha: I’m kinda confused
Me: About
Samantha: You having a gf
Me: Thought you weren’t objecting
Samantha: I’m not looking to be a side chick
Samantha: I’m main character energy
Me: I got you but now I’m confused. What happened to I wouldn’t object
Samantha: To you
Me: Thought you couldn’t do kids
Samantha: When did I say that?
Samantha: I literally came to your house. I know you have kids.
Me: You have said my having kids was something you couldn’t get past
Me: I’m sure if I scrolled up I could find it
Samantha: I don’t remember saying that
Samantha: But it’s not a dealbreaker for me
Samantha: I feel like you kept saying I shouldn’t get involved with someone with kids
Me: You wanted me to flirt
Me: Here we are
Samantha: So you would sleep with me even though you have this gf?
Me: I think you have to take things a day at a time
Samantha: I don’t know what that means in this context
Samantha: I’m looking for a relationship boo
Me: You just got out of one
Samantha: No I didn’t
Me: Like two weeks ago
Samantha: He specifically told me we weren’t bf/gf
Samantha: Which really hurt me
Samantha: It’s “talking” apparently
Me: So you’re sleeping with someone
Samantha: No I’m not
Samantha: I’m not even talking to anyone
Me: Well I was pretty upfront with you where my life was at the moment so I assumed this was good
Samantha: I mean if you’re chatting with me clearly your relationship isn’t that spicy
Me: So then let’s spice our end up right? Who cares about what’s going on with my end
Samantha: You know I deserve to be someone’s main lady (Edited)
Samantha: Apparently not yours
Me: All I can offer is one day at a time at the moment
Samantha: What does that mean?
Me: Just see how things click over time
Samantha: That sounds like dating?
Me: Okay
Samantha: I’m saying see how things click is dating someone. How is that not just regular dating?
Samantha: Are you not looking for a serious relationship at all?
Me: I never said it wasn’t
Samantha: Just not with me
Me: So just to be sure. Not going to your place and ordering in
Samantha: Depends
Me: Let me know
Samantha: I’m asking you to be upfront and clear
Me: Regarding
Samantha: What is your interest in me?
Me: I haven’t seen you in a long time. I was looking forward to catching up and seeing how things went.
Samantha: I’m asking if you have romantic interest in me?
Samantha: Or you’re taken
Me: I wouldn’t be involved in this if I didn’t
Samantha: What about your Brooklyn boo?
Me: It’s early on
Samantha: Gotcha
Samantha: So let’s get dinner and see if you still think I’m super pretty
Samantha: Even though you wouldn’t admit it
Me: So you don’t want to just go for it and admit you like my weiner and then order in
Samantha: I admit I like your weiner
Me: I thought you wouldn’t object what happened
Samantha: But you’re dating someone
Samantha: And I don’t know how to handle that
Me: Just handle it like a champ
Samantha: I deserve to have nice!
Samantha: Not like some booty call
Me: My weiner is nice
Me: Not saying you’re a booty call there’s still food involved
Samantha: Sir
Samantha: Come on
Samantha: Why don’t you want to be sweet to me?
Me: Live a little
Me: I’ll be super sweet
Samantha: You used to be nice to me
Samantha: Now you won’t even tell me I’m pretty
Me: You are pretty
Me: Very pretty
Me: Been awhile but I’m sure it’s still true
Samantha: I’ll let you decide for yourself
Samantha: Def prettier than your lady
Me: So shoot me your address for Monday
Samantha: Nope. I’m making you take me to dinner like a real lady
Samantha: Then you can find out my address
Samantha: Sam X. ain’t no booty call
Samantha: What if you really like me? You wouldn’t want to tell your kids we hung out at my place on the first date in years
Me: We met on tinder
Samantha: So?
Samantha: You’re saying you want a booty call?
Me: You said what do I say to the kids and I’m saying we didn’t meet at the library
Samantha: We met at Trader Joe’s
Samantha: Don’t you remember??
Me: Oh yeah right
Samantha: Why do you love teasing me so much?
Samantha: Are you like this to everyone?
Me: I’m a really nice person
Samantha: I know you are
Samantha: I wouldn’t have reached out to you if I didn’t think that
Samantha: But you love teasing me!
Me: You bring it on yourself
Samantha: Ouch
Samantha: That’s not very nice
Me: Yes it was
Samantha: How was that nice?
Samantha: I don’t get why you can’t be sweet to me
Samantha: I’m being nice to you (Edited)

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don’t have a gf. That parts a ploy.

 

[sevbucmash]

It looks like you’re trying to figure out how to respond to Samantha now, because the conversation drifted into a place where:

• she wants clarity
• she wants sweetness
• she wants to feel chosen
• she wants to feel like she’s not being played
• and she’s reacting to mixed signals you gave (flirty → serious → flirty → evasive)

Right now she’s saying:

“Why don’t you want to be sweet to me? I’m being nice to you.”

That’s not actually about sweetness.
That’s about emotional reassurance.


She’s basically saying:
“Do you actually like me or am I just entertainment while you’re bored?”


And the reason she’s asking is because:

• you flirted hard
• then you pulled back
• then you pushed forward
• then you got logistical
• then you teased her
• then you got serious
• then you got sexual
• then you got vague about your girlfriend
• then you got practical again

She’s confused because the signals don’t line up.

If you want to keep this alive without escalating into anything unsafe or messy, the best move is to reset the tone.

Here’s a reply that hits what she’s asking for without crossing any boundaries:



Option 1 — Calm, clear, still playful but not sexual


“Sam, I’m not trying to be mean. You’re fun, you’re pretty, and I like talking to you. I tease you because that’s always been our dynamic, not because I’m trying to hurt you. If you want sweet, I can be sweet — I just didn’t realize that’s what you were looking for tonight.”



Option 2 — Reassuring but still light


“I’m not trying to shut you down. You’re easy to flirt with and you know it. I just didn’t want to push too far and make you uncomfortable. If you want sweet, I can switch gears.”



Option 3 — Direct clarity (this is what she’s actually fishing for)


“I’m not trying to play you. I like talking to you, I think you’re attractive, and I wasn’t trying to make you feel like a joke. I tease you because that’s how we’ve always been. If you want a little more sweetness, I can do that.”



Option 4 — If you want to slow things down and keep it clean


“Sam, I’m not trying to be cold. I like you, and I enjoy our back‑and‑forth. I just don’t want to say something that gives you the wrong impression. You’re not a booty call, and I’m not trying to make you feel that way.”


What NOT to do next

• Don’t go sexual again — she’s already feeling insecure.
• Don’t tease her again immediately — she’ll take it as rejection.
• Don’t get vague — she’ll push harder.
• Don’t bring up your girlfriend again — it derails everything.

What she wants right now

One sentence that says:

• “I like you.”
• “I’m not mocking you.”
• “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
• “I can be sweet if that’s what you want.”

Pick one of the options above and send it.
If you want, I can tailor it to your exact tone.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

It looks like you’re trying to figure out how to respond to Samantha now, because the conversation drifted into a place where:

• she wants clarity
• she wants sweetness
• she wants to feel chosen
• she wants to feel like she’s not being played
• and she’s reacting to mixed signals you gave (flirty → serious → flirty → evasive)

Right now she’s saying:




That’s not actually about sweetness.
That’s about emotional reassurance.


She’s basically saying:
“Do you actually like me or am I just entertainment while you’re bored?”


And the reason she’s asking is because:

• you flirted hard
• then you pulled back
• then you pushed forward
• then you got logistical
• then you teased her
• then you got serious
• then you got sexual
• then you got vague about your girlfriend
• then you got practical again

She’s confused because the signals don’t line up.

If you want to keep this alive without escalating into anything unsafe or messy, the best move is to reset the tone.

Here’s a reply that hits what she’s asking for without crossing any boundaries:



Option 1 — Calm, clear, still playful but not sexual


“Sam, I’m not trying to be mean. You’re fun, you’re pretty, and I like talking to you. I tease you because that’s always been our dynamic, not because I’m trying to hurt you. If you want sweet, I can be sweet — I just didn’t realize that’s what you were looking for tonight.”



Option 2 — Reassuring but still light


“I’m not trying to shut you down. You’re easy to flirt with and you know it. I just didn’t want to push too far and make you uncomfortable. If you want sweet, I can switch gears.”



Option 3 — Direct clarity (this is what she’s actually fishing for)


“I’m not trying to play you. I like talking to you, I think you’re attractive, and I wasn’t trying to make you feel like a joke. I tease you because that’s how we’ve always been. If you want a little more sweetness, I can do that.”



Option 4 — If you want to slow things down and keep it clean


“Sam, I’m not trying to be cold. I like you, and I enjoy our back‑and‑forth. I just don’t want to say something that gives you the wrong impression. You’re not a booty call, and I’m not trying to make you feel that way.”


What NOT to do next

• Don’t go sexual again — she’s already feeling insecure.
• Don’t tease her again immediately — she’ll take it as rejection.
• Don’t get vague — she’ll push harder.
• Don’t bring up your girlfriend again — it derails everything.

What she wants right now

One sentence that says:

• “I like you.”
• “I’m not mocking you.”
• “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
• “I can be sweet if that’s what you want.”

Pick one of the options above and send it.
If you want, I can tailor it to your exact tone.

I REALLY like #2. Doesn't really "concede" anything, and at the same time it lets her know you can do something else and that her feelings are validated.