Guys really appreciate the input on this one. This situation sucks but it is what it is.
Fact is I do well with girls and have pretty good status. When I go out I usually get numbers and I'm always able to line up dates with results. But i feel like it's getting old and I haven't been in a serious relationship in ages.
So...
Last summer I started to really like a girl I worked with. She was related to my boss so I resisted at first but over the months I couldn't help myself from liking her. She won me over by bringing me sh*t, coffee, food etc. She paid attention to me in a way that no girl has in years.
She caught on to my growing feelings and even asked me if I liked her. I denied it and the tension mounted. One day she had me at her apartment and we were both drunk and she told me to stop fooling myself. I resisted then she passed out on her bed. I was an inch away from a kiss while she was passed out on her pillow. Frustrating.
Months later I realized I had to fess up so I told her what I was feeling. Yes for once I actually told a girl what I was feeling. She struggles with it for like an hour then finally admits she has started seeing someone.
We still work together daily and our bond grows. I find out the bf is a guy she has been seeing on and off for about 2 years. Our work takes us out of office daily so we start essentially "day dating" to live out our obvious fantasy of being together. We shop, share lunches, etc and all of it under the guise of 'work.'
A couple months pass and when things appear to be going uphill for us she makes her relationship status known on Facebook. It pisses me off. She sees it in my face and then finally (!!!) confesses she has feelings for me too. She won't leave him and she says she needs to do it on her own time. I kind of agree based on my own experiences. She's young but she appears to be confused.
Our tension leads to fighting and we have a huge blow out that we pretend is about work. We call each other names and stop talking for 2 months. She quits but she sees me in passing and makes contact.
Over time she starts texting playfully then we eventually meet for a drink. She asks me if I still care. I go overboard and tell her I want to date her and treat her amazing (her bf was a douche who made her cry constantly). I say I want to go slow. We hold hands then she says she needs to go slower. 2 weeks later I find out she was still with the guy.
We end up working together again and our bond resumes and grows. But we keep reaching the point where I want something and she won't leave the guy. She sends me coded texts explaining that she can't do anything right now and everything between us is real. Things she doesn't say in person. In person she says nothing and avoids conflict.
I get fed up and stop talking to her then months pass and we end up talking again. This time she's different. Giddy, excited to talk to me. She asks why I stopped making time for her. She sets up a hangout. She cancels 2 weeks in a row then I lose it because I'm giving her what she asked for. We ignore each other then I catch wind of her and another guy from work going out for drinks. Apparently it was innocent but it's a guy I can't stand. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and we fight again! She confesses that our connection scares her because she's so young. Next morning she explains why she's hanging with the guy. Her family set it up and she doesn't know how to say no. In the past 2 weeks they've been in the same circle, parties etc 3 times. I suspect she's around him because he's fun and keeps me at arm's length because I like her. I assume she's done with the bf.
WHAT TO DO?
I've been playing nice guy the last week or so and things have leveled between us. She appears to want to hang out again and the last time I saw her around the guy she appeared surprised that I showed up. She was with a friend. I kept it short then left. She left right after then sent me a text right when I was getting pissed again, telling me she was on her way home, it was nice to see me and off to bed. She's never lied to me so I guess I take it as sincere?
I have plenty of girls that all want me but I want to know if now that she's single, if I have a shot here. It appears that it won't just happen because she knows where it may lead and it scares her.
Fact is I do well with girls and have pretty good status. When I go out I usually get numbers and I'm always able to line up dates with results. But i feel like it's getting old and I haven't been in a serious relationship in ages.
So...
Last summer I started to really like a girl I worked with. She was related to my boss so I resisted at first but over the months I couldn't help myself from liking her. She won me over by bringing me sh*t, coffee, food etc. She paid attention to me in a way that no girl has in years.
She caught on to my growing feelings and even asked me if I liked her. I denied it and the tension mounted. One day she had me at her apartment and we were both drunk and she told me to stop fooling myself. I resisted then she passed out on her bed. I was an inch away from a kiss while she was passed out on her pillow. Frustrating.
Months later I realized I had to fess up so I told her what I was feeling. Yes for once I actually told a girl what I was feeling. She struggles with it for like an hour then finally admits she has started seeing someone.
We still work together daily and our bond grows. I find out the bf is a guy she has been seeing on and off for about 2 years. Our work takes us out of office daily so we start essentially "day dating" to live out our obvious fantasy of being together. We shop, share lunches, etc and all of it under the guise of 'work.'
A couple months pass and when things appear to be going uphill for us she makes her relationship status known on Facebook. It pisses me off. She sees it in my face and then finally (!!!) confesses she has feelings for me too. She won't leave him and she says she needs to do it on her own time. I kind of agree based on my own experiences. She's young but she appears to be confused.
Our tension leads to fighting and we have a huge blow out that we pretend is about work. We call each other names and stop talking for 2 months. She quits but she sees me in passing and makes contact.
Over time she starts texting playfully then we eventually meet for a drink. She asks me if I still care. I go overboard and tell her I want to date her and treat her amazing (her bf was a douche who made her cry constantly). I say I want to go slow. We hold hands then she says she needs to go slower. 2 weeks later I find out she was still with the guy.
We end up working together again and our bond resumes and grows. But we keep reaching the point where I want something and she won't leave the guy. She sends me coded texts explaining that she can't do anything right now and everything between us is real. Things she doesn't say in person. In person she says nothing and avoids conflict.
I get fed up and stop talking to her then months pass and we end up talking again. This time she's different. Giddy, excited to talk to me. She asks why I stopped making time for her. She sets up a hangout. She cancels 2 weeks in a row then I lose it because I'm giving her what she asked for. We ignore each other then I catch wind of her and another guy from work going out for drinks. Apparently it was innocent but it's a guy I can't stand. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and we fight again! She confesses that our connection scares her because she's so young. Next morning she explains why she's hanging with the guy. Her family set it up and she doesn't know how to say no. In the past 2 weeks they've been in the same circle, parties etc 3 times. I suspect she's around him because he's fun and keeps me at arm's length because I like her. I assume she's done with the bf.
WHAT TO DO?
I've been playing nice guy the last week or so and things have leveled between us. She appears to want to hang out again and the last time I saw her around the guy she appeared surprised that I showed up. She was with a friend. I kept it short then left. She left right after then sent me a text right when I was getting pissed again, telling me she was on her way home, it was nice to see me and off to bed. She's never lied to me so I guess I take it as sincere?
I have plenty of girls that all want me but I want to know if now that she's single, if I have a shot here. It appears that it won't just happen because she knows where it may lead and it scares her.
In the meantime, what if you had spent that time spinning plates and not wasted time on this futile oneitis of yours?