"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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1st time rejected her before me what do i say in response?

drift king

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I tried a new tactic this time round, I was getting fed up of getting rejected or flaked on after making arrangements I decided to just tell them straight out that I changed my mind and didn't want to meet up anymore.

story goes I made arrangements with this Facebook chick to meet Saturday (it was here idea suggesting saturday) i had in the back of my mind she's likely to flake cos she's bound to have other clubbing plans with her girls spring up at the last minute so i really should have suggested a different day in retrospect but in the past i heard that if she's offering you a day before you've suggest one, just take it rather than get into a negotiation of when to meet.

anyway she then gave me the number and i said i'd text her mine later. this was on monday, i forgot to text her my number that night and sent it wednesday afternoon, the fact she didn't acknowledge it within a reasonable time of like 6 hours told me she'd flake.. (which surprise surprise she did.) the next day i get a message saying 'hi im really sorry but i can't make it this saturday after all. lets try to meet another weekend'

i took that as saying 'i've changed my mind and im not even going to offer you another specific day for my cancellation and i'll leave u an empty promise of try to meet some other weekend' she could have offered me one day next week or the next weekend but there was no definite counter offer.

so i text back saying that i thought it was a bad idea meeting saturday since you're bound to have last min plans spring up so was going to ask if we could arrange it for sunday/monday evening. then asked what time she normally finished work?

I sent that like a few mins after her text (obviously too soon but i didn't care) i know that she would have seen it there and there if she had just sent one to me but she didn't get back to me so i've waited 24 hours and still no response.

i decided f*ck it im going to tell her i changed my mind. so i sent her a message on facebook saying 'actually you know what.. it's cool, i changed my mind i dont want to meet up anymore. see ya'

i get a response from her saying 'ok sorry for the delay in getting back to you was at a work function last night' (i thought great i sent this to you mid afternoon a few mins after u text me, it doesn't take you 24 hours to text someone back about making arrangements.. esp someone u dont know. i can't stand girls like this who try to look/act busier then they are and it takes like 4 days to make arrangement when it can all be done within one hour.

anyway what should i respond with to her last message?

i was thinking along the lines of 'cool, maybe some other time if i feel different.' this is more in hope she may counter with 'ok let me know'

but im not holding my breath. i want to meet her but not when shes flaking on me like this, it was just to tell her im not accepting this behaviour.

usually i'd just chase it up trying to arrange another time so im quite proud of myself for ending it as soon as there's a hint of flaking. what would u suggest be a good response to increase the likelyhood of her maybe offering another definite time?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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DJDamage

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drift king said:
anyway what should i respond with to her last message?

i was thinking along the lines of 'cool, maybe some other time if i feel different.' this is more in hope she may counter with 'ok let me know'
Don't respond. She isn't intrested in you and for some reasons you are not getting it.

By the way you can only reject someone who is interested in you.

NEXT!!
 

Jeffst1980

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You have nothing left to say to her. You already said you didn't want to meet up. Case closed.

I think you may be overthinking things a bit too much. Don't worry about waiting to text a girl, calling too soon, blah blah blah. Develop inner confidence instead. When you have that, you can text a girl all day long without coming across as needy.

When you overanalyze things to the point of checking the times of her texts and imagining scenarios, you psych yourself out and care WAY too much about the outcome. Sending that facebook message didn't raise her IL because it was so transparent that you just threw a hissy fit. That's like sending an email to a girl that dumped you to tell her that you don't have feelings for her anymore.

Start fresh on a new girl and a blank canvas, or, better yet, multiple girls.
 

COD

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or you might have not built enough rapport with her.........
 

drift king

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Jeffst1980 said:
You have nothing left to say to her. You already said you didn't want to meet up. Case closed.

I think you may be overthinking things a bit too much. Don't worry about waiting to text a girl, calling too soon, blah blah blah. Develop inner confidence instead. When you have that, you can text a girl all day long without coming across as needy.

When you overanalyze things to the point of checking the times of her texts and imagining scenarios, you psych yourself out and care WAY too much about the outcome. Sending that facebook message didn't raise her IL because it was so transparent that you just threw a hissy fit. That's like sending an email to a girl that dumped you to tell her that you don't have feelings for her anymore.

Start fresh on a new girl and a blank canvas, or, better yet, multiple girls.
you speak the truth.

the thing is we haven't even met yet but it's so typical that they'll flake on you cos it's from facebook. girls flake enough as it is in real life so u can't be surprised with a flake from there.

is there any reason to follow it up if i had not told her that i didn't want to meet up anymore. it seems like normally the rules would be try once more than next. but cos they might be apprehensive meeting a stranger from the net do the rules change slightly?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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