“the-power-to-walk-away-from-a-girl” myth…ghosting?

[redskinsfan92]

You are walking away for you. Not for her. When I quit my job I did not care if my boss wanted me back.

 

[jimmy_scandal]

Hey fellas,

I’m sure everyone here has heard of or read, or listened to a bunch of coaches and mentors from the PUA and red pill society and they all put a great emphasis on the importance of a man being really capable of turning his back on a girl and walk away if “the deal” doesn’t work in his favour or there won’t be any ‘deal” in the cards to begin with.

Now, while we all know this “skill” is vital for any man out there and while we all agree that it’s just a caring-for-your-own-interest type of thing, I’d still want to ask how and when walking away and especially ghosting a chick may work for enhancing or –at least- sparkling any attraction in her in case it has been medium (or low/none for that matter)?

We all know that – theoretically speaking- a dude has much greater chances of attracting a lady if he’d just deprive her of attention, compliments and validation, play some push-pull game on her etc., instead of showering her with the aforementioned and chasing her down desperately.

And while we can agree on the fact that most often than not, walking away on a girl means one has likely failed to score a home run and he just wants to not waste his time and go explore some other options, then how would you explain the fact that even if you’ve been with a chick (a few weeks/dates), even slept together and you suddenly decide to drop her (due to a better option or you just haven’t been attracted enough to her), cut any communication all of a sudden, yet she wouldn’t bother going after you and chasing you and trying to re-attract you to her? And I’m referring to plain mediocre girls, not the top chicks.

Do women do any chasing today at all? Even after she'd already spread your legs for a guy? Even if she is a 4 and the guy is a solid 7? Even if she is 10 years older than the guy?

What are we talking about here?

-too much woman’s pride;

-entitlement of a princess, even if she is (objectively) a 49-er (Oh, I’d never chase a dude – even the hottest one. Dudes are supposed to do the chasing instead);

-she’s fully aware of the fact that even if she “lets you slip away”, 5 others will be willing to come to her and start courting her, even if she is fat/divorced/mean/dumb/single mom etc;

-she was not that attracted to the guy in the first place but he was fine enough and she just needed to get some anyhow (especially valid for ones that are not so pretty and don’t have a flock of guys around them on a daily basis?

Is that a trend we can find here? Would women ONLY do some chasing for men that are 9s and 10s (tall+handsome+wealthy+famous+confident+fancy car and his own home)

Hey fellas,

I’m sure everyone here has heard of or read, or listened to a bunch of coaches and mentors from the PUA and red pill society and they all put a great emphasis on the importance of a man being really capable of turning his back on a girl and walk away if “the deal” doesn’t work in his favour or there won’t be any ‘deal” in the cards to begin with.

Now, while we all know this “skill” is vital for any man out there and while we all agree that it’s just a caring-for-your-own-interest type of thing, I’d still want to ask how and when walking away and especially ghosting a chick may work for enhancing or –at least- sparkling any attraction in her in case it has been medium (or low/none for that matter)?

We all know that – theoretically speaking- a dude has much greater chances of attracting a lady if he’d just deprive her of attention, compliments and validation, play some push-pull game on her etc., instead of showering her with the aforementioned and chasing her down desperately.

And while we can agree on the fact that most often than not, walking away on a girl means one has likely failed to score a home run and he just wants to not waste his time and go explore some other options, then how would you explain the fact that even if you’ve been with a chick (a few weeks/dates), even slept together and you suddenly decide to drop her (due to a better option or you just haven’t been attracted enough to her), cut any communication all of a sudden, yet she wouldn’t bother going after you and chasing you and trying to re-attract you to her? And I’m referring to plain mediocre girls, not the top chicks.

Do women do any chasing today at all? Even after she'd already spread your legs for a guy? Even if she is a 4 and the guy is a solid 7? Even if she is 10 years older than the guy?

What are we talking about here?

-too much woman’s pride;

-entitlement of a princess, even if she is (objectively) a 49-er (Oh, I’d never chase a dude – even the hottest one. Dudes are supposed to do the chasing instead);

-she’s fully aware of the fact that even if she “lets you slip away”, 5 others will be willing to come to her and start courting her, even if she is fat/divorced/mean/dumb/single mom etc;

-she was not that attracted to the guy in the first place but he was fine enough and she just needed to get some anyhow (especially valid for ones that are not so pretty and don’t have a flock of guys around them on a daily basis?

Is that a trend we can find here? Would women ONLY do some chasing for men that are 9s and 10s (tall+handsome+wealthy+famous+confident+fancy car and his own home)

Paralysis due to over-analysis.

Get all of this junk out of your head NOW.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Wrong! I'm too old to mold myself only now to gain certain interest that way. As I clearly stated, I raised that question because I was curious about what goes thru a chick's mind when she gets ghosted (usually it's the other way around 8 out of 10 times) and secondly, I wanted to check other people's opinion on the popular cliche that "the more you act as a jerk and not giving a damn about women, the more they'll run after you".

The "jerk" simply has priority in his purpose over females. He maintains integrity over his standards and image so can come off as an azzhole at times.

 

[samspade]

Really it depends on (her perception of) your SMV relative to hers.

Generally, if you ghost lower SMV, they usually come back around. Simply because a man of your caliber doesn't come around that often.

At or higher, ghosting is usually the end because your validation is just not that important.

Not rocket science here.

When I ghost it's because I can. If I couldn't, I wouldn't.

Now on to tips and tricks: Ghosting to manipulate is a stratagem of the weaker party. As is any trick. If you are going to ghost, ghost for the following reason:

1) YOU desire to;

That's it. Really not else follows.

Your second answer is great. Your first doesn't sound like you at all. "If I couldn't, I wouldn't"? Lower SMV? You can ghost anyone you want to regardless of how you high her SMV appears to be...as you later said.

And this is mostly irrelevant (since you're ghosting her) but women at all levels will hamster. If a man several notches below a woman ghosts her, it could send her head spinning more than if some top notch alpha does, since she would chalk that up to his higher value. This is mostly hypothetical b.s. on my part as it's unlikely to happen.

 

[BondJamesBond424]

You don't walk away to create attraction. That's the wrong frame. You walk away when you no longer desire her due to her present actions. This will cause SOME women to pursue, but most won't. It can't and shouldn't be relied upon as a "tactic" to generate attraction, because that shouldn't be your goal.

The "tactic" of walking away is often preached to beginners to get them out of the dancing monkey mindset, the oneitis mindset, and the chasing mindset,

In my case, a couple years ago I dumped my gf. While still in the blue pill/scarcity mindset I started going out on boring 'nice guy' dinner dates with 2 women who actually pursued me and asked me out.
In both cases I wasn't man enough to get the lay.
With the second woman, she asked me out talking about all the 'fun' we could have. My timidity screwed me up and she ended up rejecting me by text. However by then I was reading red pill material and recognized her rejection for what it was and never contacted her again. It's been almost 2 years and I never heard a peep from either of them. I guess my 'nice guy' disease was sufficient enough to completely turn both women off permanently.
However, as soon as I seen the rejection text my interest disappeared. So it was easier to just delete her number and move on.
I highly doubt I'll ever hear from either of them again in this life. But who cares.

 

[guru1000]

Your second answer is great. Your first doesn't sound like you at all. "If I couldn't, I wouldn't"? Lower SMV? You can ghost anyone you want to regardless of how you high her SMV appears to be...as you later said.

And this is mostly irrelevant (since you're ghosting her) but women at all levels will hamster. If a man several notches below a woman ghosts her, it could send her head spinning more than if some top notch alpha does, since she would chalk that up to his higher value. This is mostly hypothetical b.s. on my part as it's unlikely to happen.

Yup. There a “dark” side in this game Sam. I noticed this years ago. I think I even wrote a thread about it.

Loss of appreciation.

You read about women on the c0ck carousel who lost the ability to bond. What about men?

Yes our biologies are different but Nature keeps a few similarities. For example, what come easy is rarely appreciated.

If women come easy, what motivation does one have to keep them? I can give you a few motivations for LTRs (among others): fear of being alone, the construct of family and children, and scarcity.

But if women come easy (and so fear or scarcity is not present) and one does not invest into the construct of family and children, then why keep them? You want sex or companionship? No problem, another suitor awaits.

Hence why I say I do it because I can. And through repetition, my desire aligns with this as well.

Now if I were fearful, scarce, or desired family/kids, I wouldn’t ghost so freely.

As to lower SMV women (in their perception) coming back after ghosting (assuming you slept with them), they most often do. And to the same or higher SMV girls, they most often don’t. These of course are generalities and there are exceptions. I didn’t make these rules Sam; you’ll have take that one up with Nature lol But as to why it works this way: Nature has one superseding rule:

What is valuable to us seems to be worth fighting for.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The fear of losing the girl is at the center of all of this post. Find out why and cut its roots off and you found your holy grail. When it hits you. You will laugh a laughter you never felt before. Or be stunned. 1 of the 2.
It cuts through all the acting and double speak around here and the pizzed off guys.

Root all of that to the core and replace with situation bearing fruit.

 

[Glassguy]

You don't walk away to create attraction. That's the wrong frame. You walk away when you no longer desire her due to her present actions. This will cause SOME women to pursue, but most won't. It can't and shouldn't be relied upon as a "tactic" to generate attraction, because that shouldn't be your goal.

The "tactic" of walking away is often preached to beginners to get them out of the dancing monkey mindset, the oneitis mindset, and the chasing mindset, and instead get them more into the mindset of a DJ with abundance. It's contrived at first, but through this, the man learns what it feels like so he can exude it naturally. It helps many men to follow the process of seeing, then emulating, then being.

I will echo this.

PUA still is based on temporary solutions to mask bigger problems within ones self. I am a believer of self improvement (physically, mentally, emotionally and financially).

PUA- tricks, tactics and manipulation to get what you want NOW (which is a woman/sex)

Self improvement- working on yourself to improve yourself for your own good and along with that comes many more options and opportunities with women as a bonus. If you self improve constantly, the quality and quantity of women who will naturally become attracted to you will grow. And those women will chase because what they like is who you have become through your progression. You didnt have to trick them to get them into your frame. They will crave you.

Tricks and tactics might work for the short term but once its over with that woman you have not improved AT ALL. You are right back to square one.

With self improvement being the PURPOSE, if it doesnt work out with a chick you just move on because the GOAL was the self improvement. The by product is more attention from women. At the end of the day it doesnt matter what happens with a particular woman because you met your goal of constantly self improving every single day.

I have always thought the PUA stuff was weak frame and quite honestly a lazy man's way to try to get sex. You are much better off working on yourself. That shyte never goes away from you and its more beneficial.

Who wants a woman who you have to "trick" into your frame? You think that is going to last?

Same goes for the tactic of walking away to create/intensify interest. Boy it doesnt work most of the time.

The difference is when I walk away, I am done and putting that little bit of time and effort she was getting into one of many other options. Her loss. I am dust in the wind. If she tries knocking on the door later on she must really have a sweet deal for Glassguy for me to open it again (aka total FB and totally on my terms). That is IF I even want her around at all.

Its the difference of a man's frame during no contact after a break up. Are you doing it to move on and not have the crumbs thrown in front of you or are you using it as a tactic to attempt to reel her back in? Here is a tip: ALL women will respond to NC. But is smart men know that AS SOON as we let them back around and show interest, poof they are gone.

This stuff has to be hardwired into you over time when you swallow the red pill. You cannot fake it and you cannot use it as a tactic to spark interest.

One is a strong frame and one is a weak frame. Thats the difference.

 

[2Rocky]

It's about being able to cut things off with a woman who passes the "Boner Test", but exhibits an undesirable deal breaker attribute, BEFORE it becomes a problem. In Collegiate terms, Everyone starts with an A, but the Quizzes will determine who is going to drop the class before it becomes an Incomplete on your transcript.