I agree completely. I was thinking of starting a thread on this.
Intelligence and ability to introspect can often work against a man when it comes to the opposite sex. I am certain that my own intellect is my worst enemy when it comes to women. I'm so hyper-aware that it has historically been difficult to just roll smoothly in my interactions, though nowadays thankfully I've gotten a handle on it.
Unfortunately the only way we have to "actively change it" as you word it, is to use the known training wheels until they are no longer needed. That implies contrivance, and that implies attracting only a subset of the female population who is prone to respond to those contrivances. Read that "the stupid ones". I don't think our methodologies really work with more intelligent girls. I find they value my intellect more but I'm not attracted to them. They tend toward feminism in general.
Interestingly, I do work for a certain organization, and I've noticed that the Human Resources woman and I hit it off on a basic, gut level. I always catch her looking at me and our conversations flow with ease. She displays that reserved politeness which indicates she regards me as higher value than her, even though she is a well-adjusted women, one of the few that I know. Her voice gets all "sing-songy" and emotional when she talks to me because I bring the feminine little girl out in her.
Gone are the contrivances and training wheels I'm used to deploying. It's just a natural attraction and ability to bond. Too bad she's married. I absolutely believe in respecting a man by never intruding on his territory. But the point is that the reason she and I hit it off so well is that she is REAL. She is feminine and not prone to embracing the "Cosmopolitan" bible.
So what's my point? We intelligent men today are currently wading through a sea of insane women in search of that rare sane one. We beat ourselves up for "not being attractive" but we forget that women's psyche's have become so irreparably twisted from the media and weak-willed political machinations that we find ourselves trying to attract women who are severly deficient in character, because by-and-large that's all there is to choose from.
We find ourselves conforming to what these emotionally sick individuals respond to, instead of searching for women of character. We find that the only way to get laid is the old pump and dump, with nary a woman available to truly bond with.
Personally I'm tired of the dancing monkey routine, trying to conform to the current template of attraction. Men by and large cannot be universally attractive as women can be (makeup, body shape, femininity are all universal in scope). For us, it is all about personality and not all women are going to respond positively. We are all striving for this imaginary "universal attraction" and all that does is attract the bar skanks and low-lifes.
At this point in life I think perhaps the training wheels are holding me back. I've learned how to use my body, how to initiate and hold conversations, etc., all the DJ techniques, but my intellect requires something more than the typical mental midget who responds to this stuff.
You know you've hit paydirt when you find an easy-flowing conversation and can utterly forget about DJ techniques, and just simply enjoy the interaction.
With my Human Resources girl, do you know what the difference is? It is HER. It is her quality of character. She is torn because she is married and yet is fascinated with me. This is something she cannot help, because there is chemistry there and also because I only attract women of character. These are so few and far between that it is very sad. She values intellect (it is easy to mispell my first name to imply intellect and she likes to call me by that mispelling) and I can deliver on that. But how many women actually value intellect and wit? Surprisingly few these days. We all know that women are rapidly taking on male traits and vice versa, so they are shifting away from character, strength, etc. as attractants and moving toward "looks".
Most of us here are indeed more intelligent than the general population, and this is our curse in a world full of dumbed-down people. The only way to appeal to a dummy is to descend into their maelstrom of stupidity for a temporary visit, because it is impossible for the dummy to rise to our level.
That's not to say that we know it all and can't learn. We here at SS are often somewhat socially retarded and poorly calibrated, whereas the average dummy is probably well-calibrated socially. They're in Rome and so simply do as the Romans do, no questions asked. The result: Popularity within "Dumbland" and a reputation for not making waves.
The man of introspection will never fully fit in in Dumbland. That's why so many people come here with the universal question, "WTF?" In truth, "T F" is that society has degenerated so badly that the man of intellect is no longer valued. He is seen as "beta" and dismissed as irrelevant. Therefore he must learn to don the caveman personna to some degree in order to even have a hope of attracting today's women. Either that or he must metro up. He finds he must dance the dance that the tune of today demands.
That's why I advocate teaching people and changing awareness, one interaction at a time. We can b!tch and moan here all we want, but the staus quo can be changed. Why is it that men today simply want to score with women and then dump them, feeling that as long as they get a little pvssy everything's just fine? I vehemently hate the "That's the way it is" mentality. It's that very mentality that caused men to be so devalued today. This is our world. Look around you, wherever you are. Every single thing you see in your field of vision was designed, engineered and produced by men. And yet we have allowed women as a whole to run roughshod over us. When are we going to take our world back?
The main reasons the men here are "not good with women" are twofold:
1) We did not learn from our fathers how to be men. There is no rite of passage into manhood in the western world.
2) Women have become insane, in the most literal way. They are living in delusion, and we wonder why we're not attractive to them. What we have here is intelligent, introspective men learning how to dance to their tune, learning how to appeal to fundamentally emotionally twisted people.
Aren't we supposed to be leading this world? Aren't we supposed to be calling the shots? Shouldn't women be dancing to our tune? Is this not the natural order?
WTF?!?
