"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Being called a jerk

Jokerlsk

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There's this one girl that I was semi-attracted to at the beginning of the first semester this past year. Me and one of my good friends would joke with her and stuff, and my friend one day said she looked like a giraffe, so he would call her that and stuff. I don't know if that was appropriate or not, but whatever. At one point I screwed up everythign with her and just nexted her. To sum it up, while I was at a friends house last night she facebook chatted me and started talking to me.
She went on and said me and my friend were so mean to her, and fluff talk like that, but then she asked, "Do i really look like a giraffe?" so I responded with, "Do you think you look like a giraffe?" and she was like, "Idk!!!" and I said, "It's a yes or no question." and then she said, "Yeah, i think i resemble a giraffe." So then i said, "I guess you look like a giraffe." Then the girl called me a jerk, and it was the normal routine that tends to follow Jokerlsk on his quest for girls. I am always called a jerk when i talk to a girl. But if you read this conversation carefully, i never said she looked like a giraffe, and she really doesn't. She's actually hot, but my friend likes to mess with people a lot. Personally, I think girls call me a jerk constantly because I treat them differently from most guys. I don't give them all the attention in the world, and when i do acknowledge them it's in moderation. That girl was fishing for compliments and I wasn't going to give her one because it would give her more power over me. A lot of my AFC friends have told me that I'm a lot better with girls than I give credit. I'm not DJ caliber, but I think I can read girls fairly well. So what do you think guys? Is being called a jerk neccessarily a bad thing? Maybe this is the type of jerk the writers of the DJ bible were talking about.
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheBucketOfTruth

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In this case I wouldn't sweat being called a jerk. Being called a jerk can be a great sign or a very bad one, but that depends more on the context and the way it's said than the words themselves.

You guys seem to be fine making fun of her like this. I also wouldn't be surprised if she was into either you or your friend (if not both). It's clear that either she's self-conscious about looking like a giraffe, or she simply cares what you think of her (or some of each).

The worst thing you could have done was gone soft and been like "of course you don't look like a giraffe, you look great" or something in that vein. You did good by sticking to your story but also making her say she looked like one rather than being the one to say it (not that the distinction is as significant for the woman as it is in your head).
 

Leporello

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I've been called a jerk more times than I can remember, but it's almost always followed by 'but that's why I like you'.

For alot of girls 'jerk' is just another way to say that you challenge them, defy their expectations, or excite them in some way.
 

Unbridled_Phoenix

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From worst to best:
1. Nice Guy....well, you know
2. Jerk
3. Good Man

The way I see it, when you are called a 'jerk', it's because you're doing something right
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jokerlsk

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Although I am an AFC, I think I naturally fit the whole, "Jerk" persona. I don't treat people like trash, and i'm not a major *******, but I was taught to put no one elses needs before my own, and I really only do things for myself and no one else. I've got the ****y and funny thing down, I just have self-esteem issues with some things. I think I was a late bloomer, so I'm a little insecure about some things. I can get the girl interested in me half the time, I just don't ever execute and ask her out.
 
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