I've been dating this girl for 3 weeks now. This is the first time I've really dated someone or gone past the first date. She seems really into me and I like her a lot too. This is also the first girl I've kissed and made out with. So I'm truely inexperienced when it comes to relationships. By the way, I'm 19 and she is 20. We are both really shy.

My question is, when do we have sex and who initiates it? Is it normal to not have sex after as long as we have been dating? Should I ask her if she wants to have sex or just do it? And I live with my parents so where do we do it? And I'm a virgin, so should I tell her that? Thanks guys for your help. I'm really nervous about the whole thing.

The man always initiates.

Where do you do it? Don't you have a room? A basement? A car?

Are you asking for specifics like how to initiate sex?

yes. can i get some specifics?

when do we have sex and who initiates it?

When you get there. You are new at things, so it can take a month or two, maybe a little more.


Is it normal to not have sex after as long as we have been dating?

Given your backgrounds, yes, very much so.


Should I ask her if she wants to have sex or just do it?

No, never ask. Never, ever do that. Having to verbally answer you "yes" will make her feel like a slvt. You just do it, but it is a progression. Go go from feeling her up top, to down below, to her feeling you up, and on from there. This progression takes a long time when you are new to everything. Take your time and enjoy it. Almost every woman will say that guys are always in way too big of a rush to jump right into the deed itself. Foreplay, tease, play around. Go at a pace you think is slow and that will be about right for her.


And I live with my parents so where do we do it?

You need to just accidentally end up alone together. Surely each of your parents must occasionally leave the house. Here is the tricky part - you can't let her know that you are planning anything. From her perspective, it has to just kind of happen. "One thing just led to another" is how you will often hear women justify their past exploits.


And I'm a virgin, so should I tell her that?

No. You should not. Don't outright lie to her, but dodge the subject enough to at least make her wonder. Afterward, you can tell her you were a virgin. But there is a giant difference in telling her beforehand - it puts too much pressure on the girl. Guys want a virgin; women really don't. Like I said, don't lie, but make her wonder.

You are very young, and surely all of this is very exciting. Keep pressing forward, but take the time to enjoy the newness of it all.

thanks a bunch man for the detailed reply. thats exactly what i was looking for. i really appreciate it...

You're welcome! Post a lay report when the time comes. Good luck.

Biblebelt's response should be a sticky for the virgins.