Alright, I know this is my first post and it seems really "sketchy" but I've been roaming and reading through this website for years.. I took the information and understood the concepts everyone has on life, girls and being a man. I improved myself by being more independent than before.. But the main thing holding me back is executing the deed or moves to come from friend or just met you to being valued as a lover. Hopefully you guys can give me some good advice or suggestions.

Here's the thing about me, I've always been a big kid, not in height but in weight. After years of rejection and realizing how fat I was and how you cannot get laid by hot 8-10's by being fat, and after watching 300, I was pretty inspired to finally lose weight. And I did. I peaked at 315 pounds at around the time 300 came out, I decided to work out and dropped to 275 pounds without really focusing on it (work/school). And then in October, I set a goal to fit in a size 34 waist pants by New Years. I saw myself transform, I went from a size 42 waist to a 34 by Christmas Eve. I went from a XXL t-shirt to a L or even some medium sizes. I've noticed people and especially girls complimenting me on how good I look, which surprises me because I still feel "fat".

I lost all this weight so fast my mind has never been used to all this and I don't wanna use it as a crutch but I can see I am stuck with old habits from when I was bigger. Reflecting on my life, I've been conditioned the last few years to be the "nice-guy", (fueled by family values and because I grew up with a mom and aunts, no true "man" figure in my life), being the nice guy is all a fat man can do with hot girls. And after losing the weight, I'm in a whole different situation than I've ever experienced before. (I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was maybe 10-12 years old, I'm 5'11).

My situation is with this girl I've known for maybe 2 years, she is hot and fun to be with. And she saw me at a party for the first time in months and was shocked. She was all like, "ooooOohhh! Sexy!" when we talked about my weight loss. So for the past month or so, we've been talking to each other.

Anyways, she is and always have been doing things for me, giving me or making things for ME (even when I was with my ex last year, who is her good friend). All my friends say she's diggin me and always wanting to hang out with me. But I've hung out with her over 5-6 times and my perception of her is still the same as when I was a fatty. Therefore, I am HESITATING in situations I feel, after it passes by, that I should've done the move. I calibrate my feelings with the situations and understand it after its too late or too awkward to do it. And the thing I noticed is that these moments are QUICK, passes by in mere seconds. This is where I need help at. I want to learn how to create situations where I am in control and I know for sure I am going to make the move without making a fool out of myself.

I KNOW its dragging because I haven't made a MOVE on her! And I know I'm f***ing up by not doing anything. The real problem for me is knowing the right moment to go in for the kiss. And how can I find out if its too late to even bother because I feel like I'm doomed to be in the "friends zone".

What can I do? As well as what things should I and shouldn't I do?

Well,good luck man. I may be the wrong person to say it,seeing as how I am always depressed,and my posts aren't of the happiest nature. But I can relate to where you're coming from. My weight has bothered me,not as that much though,yet, I never really pushed myself to lose it and get in shape. Depression and stuff got the better of me,and well,I won't get into it.

Just wanted to say that you rule man. I was pushing 270 at one point and I'm now working my way back to my old weight (150).

Right now, I'm around 240 but I carry it well and know how to dress...it really doesn't affect my confidence too much and I've still been able to get numbers left and right. If I can do this well at this weight, ****...I can't wait until I drop under 200.

BUMP

Thanks Snake, losing weight has really improved my life and I hope you push through with your goal bro!

ItsOnNow, try to be more optimistic on things.. The way I look at it, if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it then change your attitude! Don't complain bro! It is not worth it, and if you really want it, you'll lose the weight over time.

I feel you bro. I was 300 pounds several years ago and now I'm sitting firm at 200. I still have a ways to go but I carry my weight well. It takes some time to get over that fat boy mentality. I used to wonder why women were looking at me, then it dawned on me...I'm attractive! It took a while to learn to accept compliments (just say thanks if you don't know what else to say). It also took a while for me to stop talking to new people about my weight loss. Just as it takes time to loose the weight, it takes time to adjust to your new reality. It will all sort out.

i feel exactly the same way!!!.

i used to have lots of acne, real skinny, and i was ugly.

6 years later i dont have any acne, im muscular, and my face changed for the better, but sometimes i think that i look like before.

i think it has to do with all the rejection i used to have.

I'm glad to hear others feel the same way.. Change is strange isn't it? I think breaking old habits is whats holding me back.

Anyone have any advice?