The purpose of this article is to address three major problems that some people encounter when reading the DJ Bible, as well as the articles accessible from the SoSuave.com homepage, that cause them to apply the material improperly.
The first major problem is taking the material too seriously. What many rAFCs don't realize when they read the DJB is that much of the material in it is INTENTIONALLY written to be OVERCOMPENSATING. The reason for this is because when someone has AFC character traits, those traits often exist in a very extreme form. Knowing this, the authors of many of the articles and threads in question decided that normal, reasonable advice would not be enough to reverse these traits, since they tend to be so strong. Thus, they figured that by giving overcompensating advice, one extreme would "cancel out" the other, leaving the reader somewhere in the middle where things start to work. The problem is that there are many readers who don't end up in the middle like the authors intended. Instead, they take the overcompensating advice too far, and end up doing stupid things such as showing absolutely NO interest in women, out of fear that it might somehow turn them off because they're no longer a "challenge" (the reality, as many of us know, is that if a woman thinks that a man isn't interested in her, she will do what we do when a woman isn't interested in us: she'll NEXT him!).
The second major problem is that upon finding all of the info on this site, new readers get excited and start trying to apply EVERYTHING to themselves. The thing is, you might only have to work on a few select areas in order to improve your success with women; most people aren't as broken as they think they are! I'll refer you to a great post made by a fellow DJ that demonstrates what I'm referring to quite nicely: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109491
The third major problem is that sometimes people put emphasis on the wrong material. In order of importance, here is what you should focus on:
1) Inner Game Material/Material on Embracing your Masculine Sexuality
2) Material on Female Psychology
3) Misc. Tactics and Techniques
Tactics and Techniques can be nifty at times, but it's rather easy for them to come across as cheesy and contrived. Also, consciously using them too much can turn them into a crutch. Female psychology is nice for putting things into perspective so that you can understand your interactions with women better, but again, it is far from necessary.
Boosting your inner game and embracing your masculine sexuality are the most important things to do because they honestly account for more than half of what women look for in a man! If you lack any of these things, the only way you'll so much as get a date is by sheer luck. However, if you're a strong, confident man who is in touch with his sexuality, nothing else matters anywhere nearly as much. Your sense of humour, your hobbies, your style of dressing, and so forth... as long as these things aren't absolutely horrific, you won't need to change them at all in order to get chicks, provided that you embrace your sexuality and have lots of inner game. Granted, improving these things as well can only be beneficial to you, but my point is that without enough inner game and masculinity, they amount to almost nothing.
So, in summary, the best way to use the material in the DJ Bible and on the rest of this site is 1) to recognize that much of it is intentionally written to be overcompensating (use your best judgement and instincts to determine which articles are written like this), 2) to realize that you may not need adopt as much of this advice as you think you may, and 3) ALWAYS focus on developing your inner game and embracing your sexuality before ANYTHING else (Hell, once you master those two things, you may be too busy with chicks to even have time to read up on neg-hits and the like
).
One final note: the conversation section of the DJB sucks. The only worthwhile piece of advice it gives is to be a good listener. For more effective and easier to apply advice on conversation, check out the blogs on www.charismaarts.com.
The first major problem is taking the material too seriously. What many rAFCs don't realize when they read the DJB is that much of the material in it is INTENTIONALLY written to be OVERCOMPENSATING. The reason for this is because when someone has AFC character traits, those traits often exist in a very extreme form. Knowing this, the authors of many of the articles and threads in question decided that normal, reasonable advice would not be enough to reverse these traits, since they tend to be so strong. Thus, they figured that by giving overcompensating advice, one extreme would "cancel out" the other, leaving the reader somewhere in the middle where things start to work. The problem is that there are many readers who don't end up in the middle like the authors intended. Instead, they take the overcompensating advice too far, and end up doing stupid things such as showing absolutely NO interest in women, out of fear that it might somehow turn them off because they're no longer a "challenge" (the reality, as many of us know, is that if a woman thinks that a man isn't interested in her, she will do what we do when a woman isn't interested in us: she'll NEXT him!).
The second major problem is that upon finding all of the info on this site, new readers get excited and start trying to apply EVERYTHING to themselves. The thing is, you might only have to work on a few select areas in order to improve your success with women; most people aren't as broken as they think they are! I'll refer you to a great post made by a fellow DJ that demonstrates what I'm referring to quite nicely: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=109491
The third major problem is that sometimes people put emphasis on the wrong material. In order of importance, here is what you should focus on:
1) Inner Game Material/Material on Embracing your Masculine Sexuality
2) Material on Female Psychology
3) Misc. Tactics and Techniques
Tactics and Techniques can be nifty at times, but it's rather easy for them to come across as cheesy and contrived. Also, consciously using them too much can turn them into a crutch. Female psychology is nice for putting things into perspective so that you can understand your interactions with women better, but again, it is far from necessary.
Boosting your inner game and embracing your masculine sexuality are the most important things to do because they honestly account for more than half of what women look for in a man! If you lack any of these things, the only way you'll so much as get a date is by sheer luck. However, if you're a strong, confident man who is in touch with his sexuality, nothing else matters anywhere nearly as much. Your sense of humour, your hobbies, your style of dressing, and so forth... as long as these things aren't absolutely horrific, you won't need to change them at all in order to get chicks, provided that you embrace your sexuality and have lots of inner game. Granted, improving these things as well can only be beneficial to you, but my point is that without enough inner game and masculinity, they amount to almost nothing.
So, in summary, the best way to use the material in the DJ Bible and on the rest of this site is 1) to recognize that much of it is intentionally written to be overcompensating (use your best judgement and instincts to determine which articles are written like this), 2) to realize that you may not need adopt as much of this advice as you think you may, and 3) ALWAYS focus on developing your inner game and embracing your sexuality before ANYTHING else (Hell, once you master those two things, you may be too busy with chicks to even have time to read up on neg-hits and the like
).One final note: the conversation section of the DJB sucks. The only worthwhile piece of advice it gives is to be a good listener. For more effective and easier to apply advice on conversation, check out the blogs on www.charismaarts.com.