"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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r1m jobs

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afctodj7

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Going out with a hb7 for body, hb10 for sexual personality. On the 3rd date we fvck. On the forth date, she wants a r1m job. Now, up to that point, i've never given one, and thats something i don't wanna do. But she looks at me with a cute sad face and pouty lips, and says, 'awwww, common. . .. pleeeaase'. She looked so daym cute, so i figure i'll try anything once. Well, i do it, and i sorta like it, but at the same time, it smells so bad and tastes so bad. I sorta don't wanna do it again and I tell her that, but she says all the guys are doing it, and she's never had a boyfriend who didn't do it and its as common as girls giving blow jobs.

My question is, is she bluffing? Do guys usually give r1m jobs? I've only had sex with one other girl before her, while she's had lots of partners before me, so she definatly has authority on knowledge on this matter, but I can't believe most guys would do something that gross.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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K

KillaCam

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Guys giving rim jobs is not as common as girls giving head. But in saying that it's not a rare thing.

Put that b1tch in line dude, if you don't wanna do it, then don't do it. Tell the girl to open her legs and take it like she should. No need for crap (pun intended) you don't wanna do.
 
C

Create Reality

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no dude, she's right. All the guys are doing it. It's kinda like the new "flavor of the month" in bed.
 
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ValleyDJing

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whoa whoa whoa! you tossed her salad? call me uneducated but rim job? whats that? if you're talking about licking her pooper, then :down: anyways, i always called it tossing a salad. but...???
 
H

hope7

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tell her 'if its so normal, how about you give me one.' see how she likes it.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

B

bingo_

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you're fuked in the head if you licked her darkside. id tell a girl to get the fuk out my house if she asked me to lick her ass. i don't care HOW hot the b|tch is.
 
C

Chosen1

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thank you guys for responding before I did. All I have to say is what the hell is wrong with you, if you don' want to do it then don't. Me personally I have my own list of things that I won't do, unless I was in a porno.
 
B

blinkwatt

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Do what you want! You say you kinda like it,but don't because its smells/taste bad. Tell her that! "Hey I would love to do it again,but you have to de-smell the area first". Just be nice and kid with her about it,but let her know you wont want to do it again unless its more user friendly.

Just think about it,what if you wanted to try something out of the ordinary? She will remember how you didn't want to give her a rim job again and she will use that on you.
 
P

Pimp101

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Theres nothing wrong with licking a girls ass. Just get her to shower first. You all need to grow the fvck up.
 
V

Vulpine

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Exactly.

Make sure she cleans up before you even think about it. If she doesn't clean up, then make sure to kiss her afterwards and start using "sh!tty" as her pet name.

The only nasty thing going on here is that she asked you to give her a rim job. That's just poor conduct. A guy will do it if he wants to do it. She can ask for "azz work", but telling you to use your mouth is out of line. That's an implied option.

Indeed, you should have told her, "Ladies first." and made her toss your salad first. If she isn't willing to give, then she shouldn't expect to receive. <-- that goes with EVERYTHING in the sack.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bad_Lil'Pixie

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Stay in your comfort zone and be bold enough to make her honor your boundaries.

A lot of men do rim jobs as part of their oral and fingering technique, I mean, what else does you pinky have to do? ;-P A lot of men and women enjoy the sensations of lapping in that area, etc... If you don't, DON'T.

Sex is suppose to be pleasurable for BOTH partners, not all work for one and play for the other, be it a blissful war that leaves you a smiling casualty or a long, slow night full or sigh and moans it is for your pleasure as much as it is hers.

If you WANT to do rimming or anal play but you don't want to touch - there are items you can buy at your local adult store, cute, little held rimmers that have various textures and some even vibrate. Goodness, you could call them a backdoor to the backdoor. LOL

When you are "into" something, your performance will be better and the outcomes grand. Stay in you comfort zone.
 
D

DJDamage

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If you don't like it then don't do it. This girl obviously doesn't clean her a$$hole before hand and by asking you to lick it, it is very possible for you to get E-coli and be very sick or in rare cases die! (killed by rim job! I think the Darwin's award might be looking for a new winner).

If I were you I would say to her to meet you half way and just stick your cack/finger in there as oppose to your tounge.
 
L

lexdiamond20

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Done this to 3 girls and never once was there any bad smell or taste. To tell the truth, vag has more of a scent and taste than the ass. Dude, you got a dirty girl on your hands. And most girls wouldnt even let a guy down there if they werent fresh. No offence, but this is total AFC Ownage. Grow a pair dude.

Btw, your not a troll are you? This sounds kind of unbelievable.
 
E

Eccentric

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Not the same as in the movies. :crackup:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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K

Kourt

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Ex gf and I tried this, neither of us noticed any taste or smell, but we made sure to wash up real good there first. Some of you guys really need to grow up lol. Make sure she takes a bath or shower and washes up down there real good.
 
K

KillaCam

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Kourt said:
Ex gf and I tried this, neither of us noticed any taste or smell, but we made sure to wash up real good there first. Some of you guys really need to grow up lol. Make sure she takes a bath or shower and washes up down there real good.
Click to expand...
Dude, there's a difference between not growing up, and not wanting to eat sh1t out of some dirty girls hole. The thought of faeces rolling around on your tongue may get you off, but some don't find it arousing.
 
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