Yea, you read it right. "I AM THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE PLANET". Those were the words that I woke up with every morning for a long time. For a long time, I felt like I failed at life so much that I had no goals in life except making it through the day. Even tho I did have a girlfriend from my 16th on till my 24th, I lacked confidence, the gut to take risk or any alpha male traits.

Until 5 years ago. I was through with it, no longer wanted to feel so pathetic, I wanted to feel worthy! I had been teased my entire life and tried to live as sheltered as possible. I didn't like to be the center of attention, because that meant people would focus on me and see how sad I was. Because I was picked on for so long, I had no selfworth, and was ridiculed all the time, noone respected me.

So I started to read upon human interaction. I googled, found scientifical articles, less scientifical articles, and... the DJ Bible. And I discovered that quite a few things about social interaction in the bible could be found in some of these scientifical articles. I read, and I read, and I went out and practised what I learnt. Initially, I started out with how I walked, how I spoke, how I stood, until I learned to stand and walk in a comfortable yet confident way. Then I started to practise on how to approach people, how to speak confidently, how to express myself in a non-creepy way.

I slowly started to talk to new people, discovered that I was worthwhile to spend time with and regained my confidence through acceptance and changing what I didn't like about myself. I adopted the DJ mindset, and slowly but surely I started to BE the DJ mindset. This is where stuff with my ex went downhill. With my newfound dominance, I started to push her into an emotional corner and ran over her. I was unhappy with our relationship and sex life, and eventually I cheated on her ass. We broke up because I thought it no longer worked, regretted it and fessed up what I did to her in an attempt to fix the relationship. Thankfully, that didn't work, but at least I proved that I was man enough to stand up for what I did. I felt horribly heartbroken, and to make it even better, all the people whom I considered friends dumped me because "I lived so far away". I started from scratch with all the tools I collected over the years of DJ training. I quickly penetrated several social circles, made new friends, started having fun, and banging ladies. Lots of ladies. At my high point, I had 3 plates and had no problems replacing stale ones with new ones.

Right now I'm slowly progressing towards an LTR with a gorgeous redhead who's one of the best girls I've had in bed, who loves my (sexual) dominance and who makes me feel comfortable. I'm successful at life, have great opportunities, am pretty social, everyone loves me and have no problems expanding my boundaries or learning new things. I am constantly improving myself, because I love doing that, because I believe I deserve to be at my best.

Without SoSuave, pook and the contributors to the DJ Bible, I never would have been where I am now. So next time you're going AFC and start moaning about how pathetic your life is, go f*ck yourself! I went through hell several times in my life. I got teased, degraded, dumped by everyone I cared for. Instead of p*ssying out, I grabbed my balls, manned up and started working! Stop your *****ing how your attempts are failing, how women are c*nts or how the rest of the world is to blame. It is only YOU who is to blame! Now man up and get to work!

Nice one, Sandhawk! I found this very inspiring.

Let me ask you: What was it 5 years ago that made you feel like you were "through with it" and made you aggressively try to change?

I got pumped up!!!

Atom Smasher said:

Nice one, Sandhawk! I found this very inspiring.

Let me ask you: What was it 5 years ago that made you feel like you were "through with it" and made you aggressively try to change?

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I've been out of the country for a while, so I only just returned. Kinda disappointed by the amount of views of the thread, but alas, you can't have everything .

To answer your question: I was in the process of starting up my own business, and I found that I was really sh*t in general when it came to networking and social contact. I slowly gained the insight that people avoided me or never befriended me because I wasn't a great person to be around. I came to the conclusion that the equation wasn't the problem, but that I was the variable that was off.

So instead of blaming society on that(like my best friend currently does), I just gained the insight that changing myself would be the best solution to this problem, and thus my adventure began.

Excellent insights. I can only guess that the title of the thread has thrown some people off, especially with the current state of the forum.

Anyway, I'm going to ponder your points and try to apply them. I have a lot to improve, even at my age.

Thanks.

How did you become a better person to be around?

Seriously, this has been on my mind for a while. I can talk to people n hold conversation, but I never feel like I'm making an actual connection with them. Something in the back of my head (whether it be insecurites or something else) tells me that they have a low opinion of me, or think I'm weird in some way. I'm real sick of it and want to change

vlf445 said:

Seriously, this has been on my mind for a while. I can talk to people n hold conversation, but I never feel like I'm making an actual connection with them. Something in the back of my head (whether it be insecurites or something else) tells me that they have a low opinion of me, or think I'm weird in some way. I'm real sick of it and want to change

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The key to that is to accept certain of your character traits, and to let go of their judgement. The moment you think they have a low opinion of you, you are actually linking your feeling of confidence to their opinion.

Learn to disregard their opinion. Stop caring what anyone except your loved ones thinks about you. Really, why bother if that random girl at random party thinks you're a douche? Are you going to see her again? And if you do, does her opinion affect your success in the world? No, of course not.

But also change it around: How often do you think negatively of other people? I bet it's not often, unless they did something that goes against your values or morals. If you don't really do anything that might throw them off, there is nothing to worry about!

Thank you SandHawk. Like a previous post sated earlier, I was thrown off by the title of your thread. I try to stay away from the super negative posts. But this is exactly what this forum needs.

I hope my bump I'm giving it will help get the attention this thread deserves.

Really good post. When we are in times of crisis, there are two choices: crumble and fall, or rise against the challenges. Sandhawk clearly faced his obstacles and has succeeded in a great way. Life is a big challenge...can you overcome it?