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Yes I know.. but as I said, I have to see her in person Friday when we work together. Have a feeling she's going to completely lose it, because as I thought it would, this is KILLING her inside.

Big message today. "I know you're not talking to me because you think i lied and am a terrible person, but you really just proved to me that even when i'm honest, for weeks of honesty whenever you asked me to talk or be there, i was.. You truly showed me a side of you i believed you werent. You...

Maybe, who knows. She gets very lonely and "thinky" (word she always used when she didn't feel right mentally) at night, and I was always the one she would go to. Always was the shoulder to lean on. Last night was probably real hard for her to have to deal with by herself. Anyways, what sucks...

@Blackmesa Yeah, I know all this stuff. Just really hard to face. Don't fully understand why people play with other people's hearts like that. Today's my day 2 of NC. She got high with her friend last night and texted me late at night. She said, "guess you're just gonna be that way."...

Well my day 1 of NC is complete. Had to do some real soul searching. Was incredibly hard. I'm sure it's going to get much harder though. She didn't text me today, but she likely will in the coming days. Gotta keep focused and stay strong as much as I just wanna collapse.

@Mauser96 I know dude, the wounds are just still very fresh. In time I will get better. I'm committed to NC because now I know for a FACT that there's no other option. I know for a fact talking to her does nothing but bring grief into my life, no matter how much I want to cling to the thought...

@Mauser96 I just don't understand. I'm confused. How could a girl make you feel so loved.. so cared for.. and give you that on top of the world feeling when she expresses how happy she is with you, and then just drop it? Just move on so fast, because she feels "disconnected" out of nowhere...

Long story, bear with me fellas. I'm 22, she's 19. My first love. We were together for 2 months, which is the longest relationship I've ever been in. All my life I've avoided relationships with girls because I never wanted to get hurt. I built walls around my heart so nobody could get in. This...