What Defines a Boy, and What Defines a Man?

[jhonny9546]

Hey friends, Jhonny here!

Based on our experiences, let’s all make a list of 5 things that describe a boy and 5 things that describe a man.

I’ll start:

Boy

1. Tries to survive a lack of attraction or respect from his gf instead of walkin' away.
2. Blames others for his failures and mistakes with arrogance, so he doesn’t have to take responsibility for.
3. Looks for someone to take care of him.
4. Constantly seeks validation from others.
5. Avoids personal growth or putting himself from the comfort zone his circle of friend crafted.

Man

1. Knows his worth and walks away from situations where there is no mutual respect or attraction.
2. Owns his responsibilities, mistakes, and failures, and uses them as lessons to grow. (No blaming, but understanding how He could do things better next time). (This is also why most men will take most disrespect in life, from low value people.)
3. Looks for someone he can genuinely care for.
4. He find most validation within self, instead of constantly seeking it from others.
5. Faces difficult situations, He accept to be out the comfort zone for a while, regularly.


Your turn. What would you add to the list?

 

[Gamisch]

Good list. Good post overall!

I'd urgently add financial independency to the man section.

Also being able to defend himself when forced.

 

[Gamisch]

A boy chases

A man chooses

 

[tesla8520]

I've always seen this as a man who focuses on improving and becoming a better person, improving in some areas but worsening in others.

The key is here:
To constantly improve yourself, you must adopt a growth mindset.
So, when you experience failures, instead of getting angry, learn from them.
This pushes you to become more resilient and to treat defeats not with arrogance, but with curiosity.

The problem that arises now is that when, say, a woman does something disrespectful to you, rather than getting angry and shutting down, you might have a neutral reaction, staying to figure out what you should have done better.
You'll still distance yourself and walk way from her, but now the intensity of your emotions is different.
Furthermore, this mindset automatically makes you focus on solving problems, so you now will"listen" to women and solve their problems rather than just "listening," which in itself solves the problem.

The key is to never lose your will to do, that inner desire you have as a man to help others, because of your failures or the red pill.
Blue-pilled men chase a false dream, but that inner strength that comes from knowing there's always a goal to reach (the degree, the marriage, the kids, the big house, the travel, etc) is essential to bring into your life with the red pill.

I know it's difficult, but it's what makes a boy a man.
It's the hardest thing a boy have to learn to become a man.

How do you get back that bluepill inner strenght, and apply it to your redpill life?