Competing or becoming: what makes a high SMV quality man?

[jhonny9546]

Hey friends, if you want to be a man of value, you have to increase your SMV. You know the law.
To increase your SMV, you have to work hard.
You have to compete to raise the bar, to rise to the top of the ladder, or at least climb it with all your might.

or

You can have your things in order.
Be grateful for what you have every day.
Don't compare yourself to anyone.
Live this way, confident in your abilities.
Knowing that you've stopped competing, but you still being diligent in things that makes men the good ones

What makes us men of value if all we have to do is compete with our peers, with our brothers?
And as soon as you stop to be grateful for what you have, when you're grateful for what you have, women call you lazy, because you've become complacent.



What was your idea of life, your focus, and what did you learn?
It seems to me that in this world everyone is competing and gaining advantages, and that is precisely what allows men to live a good life in capitalism, and to attract women in this way (for interests).

 

[BaronOfHair]

@jhonny9546 "What makes us men of value if all we have to do is compete with our peers, with our brothers?"

Think of it like this:

Unless your idea of a fun time = Settling for table scraps, it's wise to do whatever is necessary, to get further ahead in life than you currently are. Call that "competing with peers", if you want

 

[zekko]

Do both, I would say.

 

[plumber]

you don't have to like it; only understand and accept it.

for IT will be regardless of our opinions.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

So if you're ok with weighing 350lbs, smelling like a deployed soldier's socks worn for two days and not one, and making about 28-35k USD per year, sure. No need to compete.

Competition, fighting, seducing, etc aren't four letter words and malevolent acts. With this kind of logic, could I not ask this; "If we could go back to caves, loincloths and fires would we be better for it?"

Is competing for something morally wrong? Moreover, is it morally wrong for women to be more attracted to a man who not only has competed, but has obvious evidence of wins?

 

[jhonny9546]

It seems like you all agree on competing.
But think about it, for an instance: how do you form sincere friendships with others out there and not feel alone if everything you do is to compete and prevail over them?

Just an example:
"Hey, look, James has the new BMW 101."
That's an advantage. Now James has an advantage.
So John should feel FOMO because now the competition is telling him to buy a new car?
And that he should work on his finance to buy that?

It seems like a woman's attitude. In fact, women do this. I don't understand. This is a women world thing.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

On the first note, sincere friendships can be had no matter how fierce the competition. With SOME people. Once again, even to find the right friends to be around, you've got to get out there and look. Some of the best friendships I've developed have been over Karate or through military service. Want fierce competitors? lol And it's a complete bonus if you have similar life goals. Maybe a recreational football league? Volleyball? Don't know what's popular in your area mate, but competition is healthy for men.

I LOVED Roma football. Especially when DeRossi was their Captain. The competing in my opinion is only branded as "toxic" by anyone who doesn't accept that there are winners and losers in life. Even if you lose one thing, or even several things, so what? You'll earn respect, trust, and confidence with others if you give it your best. You'll help them and they'll help you. Heck forbid you might start winning. A LOT.

The type of guys that make it all about the competition and are snide or condescending to everyone not at their level don't typically make many friends. Then again, they probably don't want to or don't feel like they need to. No loss, because you really don't want to be friends with someone like that anyway. One of the best things ANY man can do is find a good solid group of guys. Ideally, you'll feel like your somewhat in the middle. That way you can provide a decent amount of insight, skill or experience and at the same time can benefit from what they're willing to do to help you out. Also, not only a friendship, but you should seek out a mentor. Someone with a fair age gap to take good solid advice from. Then a pupil. Someone who is struggling with something that used to be insanely difficult for you, but you've become good at it.

On the second point, do you WANT the kind of life certain people live? Uh... This is done instinctively and you've seemed to answer it yourself. Men are VERY aware of who accomplishes what. Who got the promotion? Who got the new car? Who has a hot babe? Who has the most ripped bod? Who has kids that aren't complete dip squats? Would you like to have something they have? Or at least TRY it? There may be a way to do so without needing to have it outright and if you try, you may discover you don't want it at all! Financial burden averted! Bottom line, you can either try to have the life they've got by doing what you want to do on your own and then gripe about why you can't do it, or you can make friends with said people. I guarantee that you'll know some things that they don't that will benefit the group and you will get you closer to your goals that they've already accomplished.

This is another thing women don't really understand about why "Guy time" is so important. During "guy time" certain things are discussed and when ya'll keep track and hold each other accountable about results and efforts not only does YOUR life improve so does HERS. If you're improving as a man, your S/O will directly benefit. This is why you shouldn't be in a relationship with a woman who gives you hell for this, and worse yet insists that anything you do that doesn't reenforce the idea that she is your sole priority in life. Any women like that should be dropped like a bad habit.

I disagree. Women and men compete in very different ways.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I dont compete. I rather cooperate. However, if you insist on competing, I will bring my friends/acquaintance/alliances, etc and compete with you. I will bring the force, funds of a collective power, and totally wreck you.

Before competing with anyone, Ghenghis Khan united the separate tribes of the steppe by cooperating with them and consolidating his power. He ultimately ruled over the majority of people during his time.

Competition for the sake of competition is over rated. It breeds crab in the bucket mentality.

 

[BaronOfHair]

But think about it, for an instance: how do you form sincere friendships with others out there and not feel alone if everything you do is to compete and prevail over them?

This isn't a matter of prevailing over others who aren't enemical to us:

It's a matter of surrounding oneself with folks who possses an infinite array of talents, the likes of which we can draw upon

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I dont compete. I rather cooperate. However, if you insist on competing, I will bring my friends/acquaintance/alliances, etc and compete with you. I will bring the force, funds of a collective power, and totally wreck you.

Before competing with anyone, Ghenghis Khan united the separate tribes of the steppe by cooperating with them and consolidating his power. He ultimately ruled over the majority of people during his time.

Competition for the sake of competition is over rated. It breeds crab in the bucket mentality.

I agree only to a point. Even the general needs to consistently show he's worthy of the respect. How did Genghis Khan get to where he was? People often compete without realizing it. I just don't get it when someone seems to paint a word, in this case 'compete', as a four letter word and how they don't associate with it. As if competition is somehow immoral? Not saying that's what you've done. We're just surrounded by newspeak and ignoring inconvenient truths or hardships in life that sometimes gives me questions.

You're admittedly one of my favorites on here, btw and I'm not trying to sound crass. It just seems a bit hypocritical to say "I don't compete" when it takes a certain level of competing to be be in a position where others come to bat for you like that. Then again, on a personal note for me, I absolutely disagree with the concept "Everything is sales." I heard that when I was job hunting a while back and the only people really trying to headhunt me were dead end sales gigs. Maybe it's one of those philosophical "concepts?"

I'm don't believe "everything is competition" either though, so perhaps that isn't a decent parallel. I guess the base of my thought here is that a man should be ready to compete or to sell if the need arises.

 

[Slowhandluke]

You're admittedly one of my favorites on here, btw and I'm not trying to sound crass. It just seems a bit hypocritical to say "I don't compete" when it takes a certain level of competing to be be in a position where others come to bat for you like that. Then again, on a personal note for me, I absolutely disagree with the concept "Everything is sales." I heard that when I was job hunting a while back and the only people really trying to headhunt me were dead end sales gigs. Maybe it's one of those philosophical "concepts?"

I'm don't believe "everything is competition" either though, so perhaps that isn't a decent parallel. I guess the base of my thought here is that a man should be ready to compete or to sell if the need arises.

thank you for the compliment. I guess when people say most things are based on "competition" it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Most things are not competition. Saying that starts people on the wrong foot... as if people are looking for ways to stab one another in the back - with the only question being who's going to do it first.

I like the saying "everything is sales" a lot better. Not with respect to dead end sales gigs. Just the over all picture of how the world works.

"everything is sales" idea imho is about trying to figure out what the other person needs or want. To work together hopefully to find a common goal, a "win/win". Competition implies somebody has to lose for there to be a winner which is usually not the case.

Take me for example. I have a good job. Did I compete for my position? yes and no. I'm good at my job. Its a nich of sorts. Not everyone can do it. I'm sure there are some other engineers that can replace me, but it would cost my company time/resources/reputation if they willy- nilly replaced me, so they dont.

when i first applied for the position, did i compete? uhmmm.. not really, I already had the qualifications and the aptitude to do the job. I was the best fit. Could other people out competed me? I guess but unless they had a certain type of personality, it would have been really arduous and taken long hours to "get up to speed" with what was required for the job. It would most likely not been a "good fit" for them.

Companies/people look for a "good fit" not for applicants who can "compete" better. Applicants who are not a good fit, but are "better" because they took long hours to research/get up to speed will usually burn out in that position. Employers know this and its not in their best interest to hire people who dont fit.

At the end of the day, people need to find a niche. A "competitive advantage" - something they are good at that nobody (or very few other people are good at due to inherent differences in people. - some people are introverted, some people extrovert, some like sports, some like analysis, etc). Find a nich that has value to other people. "Sell" yourself with your unique abilities. This is how to thrive in the real world. Competition is only a test of if you are the best fit in a position..

"blue ocean strategy" is the best..

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

thank you for the compliment. I guess when people say most things are based on "competition" it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Most things are not competition. Saying that starts people on the wrong foot... as if people are looking for ways to stab one another in the back - with the only question being who's going to do it first.

I like the saying "everything is sales" a lot better. Not with respect to dead end sales gigs. Just the over all picture of how the world works.

"everything is sales" idea imho is about trying to figure out what the other person needs or want. To work together hopefully to find a common goal, a "win/win". Competition implies somebody has to lose for there to be a winner which is usually not the case.

Take me for example. I have a good job. Did I compete for my position? yes and no. I'm good at my job. Its a nich of sorts. Not everyone can do it. I'm sure there are some other engineers that can replace me, but it would cost my company time/resources/reputation if they willy- nilly replaced me, so they dont.

when i first applied for the position, did i compete? uhmmm.. not really, I already had the qualifications and the aptitude to do the job. I was the best fit. Could other people out competed me? I guess but unless they had a certain type of personality, it would have been really arduous and taken long hours to "get up to speed" with what was required for the job. It would most likely not been a "good fit" for them.

Companies/people look for a "good fit" not for applicants who can "compete" better. Applicants who are not a good fit, but are "better" because they took long hours to research/get up to speed will usually burn out in that position. Employers know this and its not in their best interest to hire people who dont fit.

At the end of the day, people need to find a niche. A "competitive advantage" - something they are good at that nobody (or very few other people are good at due to inherent differences in people. - some people are introverted, some people extrovert, some like sports, some like analysis, etc). Find a nich that has value to other people. "Sell" yourself with your unique abilities. This is how to thrive in the real world. Competition is only a test of if you are the best fit in a position..

"blue ocean strategy" is the best..

I figured as much. I'm the exact inverse. I loathe the phrase "everything is sales." I consider a lot of life as competition. On the same note I'm not looking to knock someone off of a ladder or play king of the hill. Maybe I just don't want to work 60 hours a week? If someone else does, fine by me.

I already possessed the "must haves" and had a few "valued" traits for my current position. They interviewed about 80 people for it. Didn't think I'd get it. What "sold" them most was my attitude. I never met my 'competitors' so did I actually compete?

But then again, years of wins, losses, try try agains is what gave me the character and attitude I have today. I appreciate the explanation. I could have placed a bet on the perspective, but you know what they say about "assume." hahaha

 

[BadBoy89]

OP, rather than all these theory and question threads, go outside, talk to some women, and report back to us.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

OP, rather than all these theory and question threads, go outside, talk to some women, and report back to us.

 

[jhonny9546]

WANT the kind of life certain people live?

Perhaps my words weren't well received, or I might have explained myself poorly.

I'm not saying you "should look" at others.
I'm saying you "should look" at others, because if you have to compete, then you have to keep up with what "the moment" decides will be someone who will gain an advantage over you.

So if your friend gets the 2025 BMW and you have the 2000 Mazda, he's gained an advantage over you.
(This is just one example; please find many more.)

So, rather than building a value for yourself, a solid internal identity, you make yourself vulnerable to "trends" and follow something external rather than your own internal direction.

You really could have used the 2000 Mazda, you didn't really need the 2025 BMW.

It's a matter of surrounding oneself with folks who possses an infinite array of talents, the likes of which we can draw upon

How could this improve our SMV and how it confront with the original question?

A "competitive advantage"

So, you need an advantage; if you don't have one, you have to find one.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

I'm not saying you "should look" at others.
I'm saying you "should look" at others, because if you have to compete, then you have to keep up with what "the moment" decides will be someone who will gain an advantage over you.

So if your friend gets the 2025 BMW and you have the 2000 Mazda, he's gained an advantage over you.
(This is just one example; please find many more.)

It's a bunch of nuanced BS. A BMW cannot do what a utility truck or off road vehicle can do. Full stop. Irrelevant. I've found the car thing more about personality. If someone wants an expensive vehicle that costs a lot to maintain, fine. The kinds of people who want a guy who drives something like that aren't worth the headache in my opinion. Give me the truck and I'll make sure she has potting soil for her gardening and rock for the fire pit etc...

Some people see a rolex and think WOW. I see a rolex and think "He could have bought 2 Harleys instead." Again, irrelevant.

Some dude lifts and is 5'8" at 195lbs. That's ripped AF. Cool, lets roll around or box a bit. Irrelevant. Someone can outbox me? Sig Sauer or Smith and Wesson. Irrelevant.

We all use what we have. Now the real question is how honest are you about what you want in life? Secondly are you honest about efforts to move towards it?

 

[jhonny9546]

We all use what we have. Now the real question is how honest are you about what you want in life? Secondly are you honest about efforts to move towards it?

What are your answers to these questions?

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

What are your answers to these questions?

Challenge accepted. I am honest about what I want in life. It sounds easy, but some people trade self honesty or self actualization with nobility or sanctimonious mumbo jumbo. And at times, I could make more of an effort towards them. But I do the best I can, and I take responsibility for what I do and for what I do not do.

 

[jhonny9546]

@RoadKing_Rabbit That sound great, make some example please

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

@RoadKing_Rabbit That sound great, make some example please

I could make examples all day, but for what purpose? Are you going to "execute" said programming, or are you going to continue a feedback loop of "QuerySS: IF input = null, THEN Query again, ELSE Query again, Create Post Alpha Numeric and loop to start."?

If it really sounded great, I'm sure you'd find time to try to state or create your OWN goals as my goals aren't likely to be of any use to you. If you know what your goals are, then you can take STEPS toward them and see progress.

Since you asked, my goals have become strangely less complex sounding. Many of my specific measurable goals I've set forth for myself have been surpassed far beyond my teenage version could have imagined. If I don't sire offspring of my own, I consider it my duty to pass on my knowledge, wisdom and experience to younger men and give them a fighting chance. In every aspect of the phrase.

If a woman decides to remain at my side during the process, so be it. If not, I'll either become the town Harley (antagonist of 'town bicycle') or start my own religion where women are required to fall prostrate before me. LOL. Regardless, I'm on my own program. What about you?