How do regular guys without game get a girlfriend?

[Fruitbat]

First you got to define a hot girl and a hot guy.

plenty of disagreement over hot girl. I see some of the thicc women some guys like and no thanks from me. Guaranteed lots of the women you call hot are average to me and vice versa.

In the same way some guys like big busty women, some women like big muscly men. Some guys (me) like thinner women, some women like thinner men. Some women I see look ok but I hate the way they dress and present themselves to the world. Same for women, they like some dudes but he’s wearing a baseball cap! Or he’s NOT wearing a baseball cap.
now I do see what you mean as some women and men we all can agree are more attractive than their partners.

My wife is decidedly hotter and younger than me and it does show. Let’s be honest now why we are together: I earn well, I said upfront I was committed to marriage and kids, I’m good socially and can be relied upon to do family duty. I’m fairly easygoing and good to get along with. Also, and it’s a big one, she knows with me I’m unlikely to stray as I have a woman on one level out of my league. Same for her, yes she could get a fitter younger man but I could also go find a woman who earned as much as me, my age, so less support needed. I could live happily with a similar woman and be super rich. I don’t want that, I don’t value that as much as a beautiful younger wife who’s gonna always be hot to me, and won’t be off having her career all the time.

Women do not think with their private parts like we do, and the sensible ones will think when they meet chad - this guy is gonna be trouble. They want a solid guy who has some talents and abilities and grounded sensibleness and raw attraction isn’t that high a need for most women.
Hence a lot of them think ok, I’m hot, he’s not, so he will work very hard for me.

If only some guys worked this out and approached these women they would find they aren’t all after chad. Damaged ones are and very young ones often are. Most are with them as they will give them a relationship. And treat them well.

Even though I’m not a chad I had plenty of lays before I met my wife on OLD just be being authentic . They were not model looking women, they were average attractiveness women who weren’t fat and scrubbed up well on a date - which is all I expect or need.
females attraction to males is based on way more than looks and some of it is whether you have frame and a large part of it is them liking you, how you make them feel.

Mainly though good job and some wealth is to them what looks are to us. In the same way we will drop an average girl with a good personally and job for a really hot woman who’s a bit boring and works fast food, they will often drop a cool guy if a doctor, or a guy who earns well comes along. It’s in both our DNA

 

[MAB]

(...) Women do not think with their private parts like we do, (...)

I strongly disagree. That's all they think with is their *****.

And I do NOT think with my **** at all. Your personal life experience isn't universal to all men.

(...)Mainly though good job and some wealth is to them what looks are to us. (...)

Once they hit their late 20s and are shopping for a beta-provider that is.

Then they are not attracted to the man but only what he can do for them and how easily they can manipulate him to provide them with what they want.

 

[pipeman84]

I've never approached any woman ever. They need to approach me, because I am worth more than they are. They know this. I know this.

I have life experience, personality, confidence, real friends, integrity, self-discipline, a legit 120 IQ, I'm 6'3, 190lbs, visible abs, legit 8 inch ****, don't smoke or drink or take drugs. I never masturbate and meditate regularly. I have complete control over mu sex drive, I am not a ****ing animal.

What can a woman add to my life? Why should I even notice her?

Man, I like your mindset. The bolded part cracked me up.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I disagree. I know that this is a common trope on these type of men's forums, but this does not match my life experience at all.

People tend to build their worldview around their own anecdotal experiences and the people they associate with which in turn reinforces their worldview. It's a vicious circle.

When a woman has a desire for a man then she'll aggressively pursue this man. Women aren't subtle or shy about it either. She'll make it very, very clear.

If you or the guys you know are never pursued by women then that means that they don't have any desire for you.

I've never approached any woman ever. They need to approach me, because I am worth more than they are. They know this. I know this.

I have life experience, personality, confidence, real friends, integrity, self-discipline, a legit 120 IQ, I'm 6'3, 190lbs, visible abs, legit 8 inch ****, don't smoke or drink or take drugs. I never masturbate and meditate regularly. I have complete control over mu sex drive, I am not a ****ing animal.

What can a woman add to my life? Why should I even notice her?

And if they decide not take to their shot, it's their loss. There is an infinite amount of other, younger, hotter women ready to take their place.

And if I ever get old and become undesirable to them, then that's fine too. I need no woman. I'll rather die then ever debase myself to the degree where I have to pursue them.

And to be clear, I am not bragging, I am telling you that you need to have the same attitude that I have!

Live your best life and know your worth!

reminds me of this long powerful statement i read years ago, here it is:

"C'mon...women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that
despite
the
progression
women have made in society at large; i.e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc...Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

 

[Hamurabimbi]

reminds me of this long powerful statement i read years ago, here it is:

"C'mon...women will never, ever, ever, ever and ever approach a guy! Period! It's not her role to do that
despite
the
progression
women have made in society at large; i.e., salary, jobs, positions, women in military, etc...Gentlemen, regardless if a woman is a CEO of company, a government official, 5 star General, department head in a company, women are still women. You can't change that. It's your inner strength, your character, your personality. It's demonstrating you have high value, are self-amused, your value doesn't come from women but from your own life!"

Women DO approach!!!

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I disagree. I know that this is a common trope on these type of men's forums, but this does not match my life experience at all.

People tend to build their worldview around their own anecdotal experiences and the people they associate with which in turn reinforces their worldview. It's a vicious circle.

When a woman has a desire for a man then she'll aggressively pursue this man. Women aren't subtle or shy about it either. She'll make it very, very clear.

If you or the guys you know are never pursued by women then that means that they don't have any desire for you.

I've never approached any woman ever. They need to approach me, because I am worth more than they are. They know this. I know this.

I have life experience, personality, confidence, real friends, integrity, self-discipline, a legit 120 IQ, I'm 6'3, 190lbs, visible abs, legit 8 inch ****, don't smoke or drink or take drugs. I never masturbate and meditate regularly. I have complete control over mu sex drive, I am not a ****ing animal.

What can a woman add to my life? Why should I even notice her?

And if they decide not take to their shot, it's their loss. There is an infinite amount of other, younger, hotter women ready to take their place.

And if I ever get old and become undesirable to them, then that's fine too. I need no woman. I'll rather die then ever debase myself to the degree where I have to pursue them.

And to be clear, I am not bragging, I am telling you that you need to have the same attitude that I have!

Live your best life and know your worth!

Similar. However. The disadvantage of relying on women to do all the heavy lifting is they become the choosers.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

i assume there is a difference between chasing and pursuing, because despite the progression women have made in society at large or how modern the world has become, women still normally never shoot their shot with men they like, it is still normally the man that asks the woman out or is the one to initiate/escalate.

it is not common. But. Certianlly happens.

 

[MAB]

Women DO approach!!!

Of course they do.

You can always tell the guys who exclusively know the beta-bux side of hypergamy because of their "wisdom" like: "women don't approach" , "women have a lower sex drive" , "women like men who provide for them" and so on.

I'm just really surprised that there are guys like this on a forum like this. I am not sure what's going on here.

Similar. However. The disadvantage of relying on women to do all the heavy lifting is they become the choosers.

How?

As I see it men and women are always equally choosing. I can always choose to reject the women who approach me, which I do 90% of the time. And women can always choose not to approach me in the first place which obviously most of them do.

Same goes if you reverse the sexes.

The only reason there are so many more men in anglo-saxon countries who approach women than the other way around is because they choose to do so. Where I live it's about equally men and women approaching each other.

And gynocentrism needs participants.

If men would just find what's left of their testicles, they would realize that they are and always have been the stronger sex. Men are WAY more able to control their sex drive and achieve greater things in life than women.

In reality even beta-providers are the price. Where I live it used to be the custom that the father of the bride had to pay the groom a large amount to take his daughter from him.

The idea that men have to somehow woo these bitches is completely alien to me.

I don't know what's wrong with all these men. They are choosing to be pathetic simps. I have zero sympathy for these people.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Of course they do.

You can always tell the guys who exclusively know the beta-bux side of hypergamy because of their "wisdom" like: "women don't approach" , "women have a lower sex drive" , "women like men who provide for them" and so on.

I'm just really surprised that there are guys like this on a forum like this. I am not sure what's going on here.

How?

As I see it men and women are always equally choosing. I can always choose to reject the women who approach me, which I do 90% of the time. And women can always choose not to approach me in the first place which obviously most of them do.

Same goes if you reverse the sexes.

The only reason there are so many more men in anglo-saxon countries who approach women than the other way around is because they choose to do so. Where I live it's about equally men and women approaching each other.

And gynocentrism needs participants.

If men would just find what's left of their testicles, they would realize that they are and always have been the stronger sex. Men are WAY more able to control their sex drive and achieve greater things in life than women.

In reality even beta-providers are the price. Where I live it used to be the custom that the father of the bride had to pay the groom a large amount to take his daughter from him.

The idea that men have to somehow woo these bitches is completely alien to me.

I don't know what's wrong with all these men. They are choosing to be pathetic simps. I have zero sympathy for these people.

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

understatement, i like the mindset that, men are in default scarcity, but women are in default abundance, i remember Tripp Advice said that.

 

[MAB]

If I only waited for girls to approach. I likely would have missed one of my most memorable & treasured relationships. I asked her. I doubt she would have asked me.

Obviously when you stop simping your life takes a different path. Some doors close and others will open up.

I am also not saying that you can never strike up a conversation with anyone when the opportunity arises.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Talking with women is not the same as approaching or chasing. I'm an approachable person, so I talk with men and women. If sparks fly, that's just a bonus. I have enough nookie not to chase more.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

yup, another reminder, i think there is some truth to this, men are the only gender that have to go through or deal with social failure, mess up interactions, deal with painful embarassing interactions when it comes to getting better at talking to the other sex, not the other way around.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

yup, another reminder, i think there is some truth to this, men are the only gender that have to go through or deal with social failure, mess up interactions, deal with painful embarassing interactions when it comes to getting better at talking to the other sex, not the other way around.

Women shoot their shot. And fail too. I’m sure that’s just as unpleasant for them as it is for men.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Women shoot their shot. And fail too. I’m sure that’s just as unpleasant for them as it is for men.

well what i mean is, when a guy, man shoots his shot, which is how for all time that it normally goes, there is always the risk of the guy, man, accidentally violating the womans boundaries or making her feel uncomfortable, feel unsafe or getting perceived as weird or creepy, even when the guy, man, had good intentions going into the interaction.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

yup, another reminder, i think there is some truth to this, men are the only gender that have to go through or deal with social failure, mess up interactions, deal with painful embarassing interactions when it comes to getting better at talking to the other sex, not the other way around.

Tell that to the women who failed at trying to chat me up.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

Tell that to the women who failed at trying to chat me up.

well thats interesting, but i doubt any of these women made you feel uncomfortable or doubt they creeped you out

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

well thats interesting, but i doubt any of these women made you feel uncomfortable or doubt they creeped you out

I'm not easily uncomfortable or creeped out, but one of them creeped out my tomcat.
She looked okay, when she asked to sit at my table on a terrace with plenty of empty chairs. I figured she wanted to make a closer acquaintance with Klook, but my tomcat became restless and wanted to leave.
I figured he wanted to relieve himself somewhere, so I told her I had to walk the cat. She told me she'd walk with me and I told her it's a free country. She kept chatting me up while I tried to find Klook a place where he could do his business, but he wanted to walk home. I told her I was going home and she asked where I lived. I didn't tell her, just waved in the general direction and then she asked me for my number. I gave her a fictitious phone number and she walked away. The moment she turned the corner, Klook immediately calmed down.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I'm not easily uncomfortable or creeped out, but one of them creeped out my tomcat.
She looked okay, when she asked to sit at my table on a terrace with plenty of empty chairs. I figured she wanted to make a closer acquaintance with Klook, but my tomcat became restless and wanted to leave.
I figured he wanted to relieve himself somewhere, so I told her I had to walk the cat. She told me she'd walk with me and I told her it's a free country. She kept chatting me up while I tried to find Klook a place where he could do his business, but he wanted to walk home. I told her I was going home and she asked where I lived. I didn't tell her, just waved in the general direction and then she asked me for my number. I gave her a fictitious phone number and she walked away. The moment she turned the corner, Klook immediately calmed down.

this is a word that is not used or talked about much, but it is social intelligence, or they also call it social calibration, men need to be far more advanced in that than women do for dating.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

this is a word that is not used or talked about much, but it is social intelligence, or they also call it social calibration, men need to be far more advanced in that than women do for dating.

I knew something was off when she wanted to sit at my table when there were empty tables, but I figured she was just 'direct' as some Dutch women are and maybe she wanted to pet my cat (not a chance).
Klook was quicker on the take than I was, but I've been around a lot of broken women, so I don't immediately get my hackles up.