The "Secret" to Seducing Lots of Women

[BeExcellent]

It's not always so black and white and there are always exceptions... but there is truth to this^^.

To add (in female speak) because she doesn't want the connection to become purely physical, she wants to build trust or she fears getting hurt if she becomes attached too quickly.

On the other hand:

If she finds a man physically attractive but doesn't feel a strong emotional connection or doesn't envision a relationship with him, she may feel less pressure about the outcome and be more willing to have a casual sexual encounter/ONS because there is little emotional investment at stake.

Which works well for @BPH as admittedly HE isn't seeking a relationship with these gals either nor does he feel a strong emotional connection with them. My take from what he's posted in his lay reports.

It's fun, sexy, they both get their sexual needs met and the validation they seek. No one gets hurt - win win for both.

FWIW my take on this is more nuanced. I agree that often women worry (appropriately so) that allowing the sexual conquest too quickly gets a girl seen in the wrong frame.....as too easy.

The majority of women fall into this camp. So then it becomes about whether or not a woman cares about that, or not. Women like sex too; women want sex too....but context matters more. In a marriage where sex is occurring 300 days per year x 20 years? That is 6000 sexual encounters! But partner count is 1.

Is that a sluut? Um no. But a 20 year old woman with 10 partners (let's say 8 were ones & dones, and two were 4 months with 90 sexual encounters total among them all has 90 sexual encounters. Partner count is 10, total encounters in her lifetime is 90.....she's a sluut? Why or why not?

There are all kinds of scenarios in the details. Making things formulaic is foolish in a modern age where men and women both want sex and birth control allows women (and men) respite from the biggest historic roadblock to sex: Risk of unwanted pregnancy.

So in the birth control age, some women are open about their desire for sex, and act on it if they feel like it....while other women are more careful, more calculated (it requires 3 dates/10 dates/whatever arbitrary thing) in allowing the conquest. And women certainly do set up those criteria for men they deem relationship worthy - so the goal posts certainly can move based on how the woman (gatekeeper of sex) views the man (gatekeeper of relationship).....

Is that fair? I dunno. Broaden your perspective in how you think about this.

I had a player buddy of mine tell me a number of years ago that HE needs to feel desired. That HE wanted a woman to allow him the conquest out of authentic desire....not some stupid bunch of arbitrary hurdles to jump (3 dates, whatever) before sex. And that only then (after the early lay) would he consider a woman as a potential relationship partner. Many men, after gaining some life experience, think this way....

This is almost polar opposite of how most women think. So no wonder men and women don't trust each others' intentions.

But there is another way. And, to be honest, it requires greater maturity and perhaps some degree of life experience to get here mentally:

All relationships risk emotional pain to the participant. ALL. Why? Because human beings place expectations on things, and there is hurt and disappointment on unmet expectation.

Drop the expectations. Try anyway despite the risk of getting hurt. Leave the old hurts from old interactions behind and begin anew (wiser about yourself perhaps)...but leave old baggage in the past.

Become open to what is happening in an interaction and pay attention to the other person and pay attention to how they invest in you, how they respond to you. And then you can respond appropriately, irrespective of the timeframe. And an appropriate response feels real, the other person feels "seen" and a connection forms.

IF you take a genuine interest in someone you can guide the "frame" of the interaction in a subtle way.

This is the essence of seduction....guiding the seduced who is not only a willing particiant, but who also thinks it is their idea!!!

What you then get is connection based in investment. However quickly the investment happens? The connection also happens.

 

[BeExcellent]

Another thing. If you are genuinely curious about and taking interest in the other person? If you are creating a safe, non judgemental, trusting environment for them to exist in? You will knock down emotional barriers and walls effortlessly. They will feel emotional closeness and connection to you, and they will become enamored with you because safe, non judgemental trusting people are RARE. Most human beings are too self absorbed to be able to give this to someone else very early in an interaction....and people crave it.

Players and playboys all eventually tire of the game. In time they seek (as @BPH will one day seek - and he is honest about this) something more meaningful & substantial to build his legacy around. A wife, a family, etc.

As a woman who has always enjoyed the player/playboy archetype I can tell you that the reason they fell for me (predictably) was that I not only love & adore men....I particularly love and adore the player archetype. These are men who adopt the archetype very often as a means of compensating for something.....some unmet need or a deep psychic pain from childhood or youth more often than not...I had that too in my background from an emotionally cold narcissistic mother....and so something in me seeks men with a similar wound.

The biggest unmet needs are being seen and being known/loved/accepted. I have done the self examination of myself and I know my wounds and how I have healed.....but I have radar for men who, underneath the facade of the player, yearn for authentic connection borne out of similar pain....and because I know how to read men in this way, I find men who despite being players? They fall hard and they fall fast and before they realize what has happened.

But I know. As it happens I know what is happening.

Every serious relationship I have had shows this pattern, both husbands, all the serious boyfriends. This reflects my own scars and my own pathos.....but I accept that about myself, gravitate toward it in others, and find deep uncanny emotional connections there.

Its probably part of why I'm here trying to help others....

I told an ex lover once, "I am forever backstage in your mind, because I slipped in the side door undetected....." and he'd tear up because he knew that was real.

Even our BPH has these wounds from his youth. A woman who understands this about him will capture him one day, and I hope she is understanding and kind.

 

[BadBoy89]

A man will only LOVE women if they are under 30 and hot. A man won't LOVE women if they are older, overweight, single mother, slut, or ugly.

I never see threads asking the question "I've been dating a 46 year old single mother with 2 teenage boys who is a bit overweight. She won't return my calls, what do I do?" Nope, the threads are generally: "the girl is decent looking, she's of the age she can get pregnant easily, she is acting up, what do I do?"

The amount of LOVE a man has for a woman depends on the amount of LEVERAGE the woman has in society. More leverage = more LOVE.

 

[BPH]

Drop the expectations. Try anyway despite the risk of getting hurt. Leave the old hurts from old interactions behind and begin anew (wiser about yourself perhaps)...but leave old baggage in the past.

This particular piece would probably benefit a lot of guys here if they were willing to apply it.

Not directly related, but one of the most useful bits from The Art of Seduction is the idea that to seduce someone, they cannot be fully satisfied, because if there is nothing they want, there is nothing you can provide.

A man will only LOVE women if they are under 30 and hot. A man won't LOVE women if they are older, overweight, single mother, slut, or ugly.

I never see threads asking the question "I've been dating a 46 year old single mother with 2 teenage boys who is a bit overweight. She won't return my calls, what do I do?" Nope, the threads are generally: "the girl is decent looking, she's of the age she can get pregnant easily, she is acting up, what do I do?"

The amount of LOVE a man has for a woman depends on the amount of LEVERAGE the woman has in society. More leverage = more LOVE.

I don't think that's a fair generalization to make.

It's definitely possible to love women for what a woman is, without having to love every individual woman. There are sh***y women just like there are sh***y men. It sounds like my message is being misconstrued as "you need to love every single woman to be successful", rather than "you need to love women overall to be successful", which is my intent.

 

[BeExcellent]

A man will only LOVE women if they are under 30 and hot. A man won't LOVE women if they are older, overweight, single mother, slut, or ugly.

I never see threads asking the question "I've been dating a 46 year old single mother with 2 teenage boys who is a bit overweight. She won't return my calls, what do I do?" Nope, the threads are generally: "the girl is decent looking, she's of the age she can get pregnant easily, she is acting up, what do I do?"

The amount of LOVE a man has for a woman depends on the amount of LEVERAGE the woman has in society. More leverage = more LOVE.

Do not make the mistake of ego in assuming your value system is universally applicable. If that were true I would not have the leverage I enjoy....pushing 60 mind you, lol!

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree with you @BPH that there must always be a "wanting" inherent in any intimate relationship. Esther Perel discusses this. It is the essence of sexual tension.

The "game" in this way never ends. Whether that is good news or bad news depends on your perspective but meaningful relationships are not for the lazy.

The real feat becomes balancing familiarity (comfort/acceptance) with mystery and novelty (desire/seduction) within a closed relationship such as monogamous marriage.

It can be done - but is best when both partners understand that the other one has options/both partners keep up efforts to remain desirable. This benefits the relationship and checks laziness at the same time.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Appreciate your insights BE. I read through your posts a couple of times and will read through again; there is much truth in your words.

Dropping (or lowering) expectations and being more open to taking risks knowing there is a strong possibility you may get hurt really hit home for me. Especially when I really like a man.

Interesting what your male friend said about needing to feel desired (which is an inherent need we all have) and it's only after a woman becomes sexual with him will he consider investing more with her.

I have heard this before from men as well. It's a tough one to navigate given how many men are only seeking casual hookups/FWBs and who aren't interested in any type of substantive relationship. Like @BPH has admitted.

Not quite sure what the answer is but I do think a bit of cautiousness may be prudent and wise.

However as you said, it's nuanced and best to judge every situation separately on an individual basis..

I have a question with regard to this comment.

Become open to what is happening in an interaction and pay attention to the other person and pay attention to how they invest in you, how they respond to you. And then you can respond appropriately, irrespective of the timeframe.

Absolutely 100% agree with this!

My question is - doesn't this take time, at least a couple of dates, interacting and observing, before being able to determine how the other is investing and responding to you?

I think the 'slut' analogy is true for many women seeking a relationship versus casual ONS, but for others like myself it's more about building trust, feeling safe and at least somewhat of an emotional bond/connection before becoming vulnerable and opening myself up sexually.

Which can happen on first meet/date I suppose (it did for me once and we were together for six years after that night) but it's very rare I think.

I cannot stand arbitrary timelimes either especially when they're used as some sort of shyt test to determine interest.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I want to preface my thoughts with the character of Don Juan. What made Don Juan famous wasn't just that he was with many women, but that he genuinely loved women and devoted his life to pursuing them. Although the story ends with him being sent to hell for his reckless lifestyle, the story remained popular because he came to represent a man who lived for women rather than simply a man who could get them. Over time, the story shifted from a male fantasy into something more feminine in its appeal since it centered on a man whose attention and passion were completely devoted to his conquests.

With this in mind, I think you're touching on something important. A man who genuinely enjoys women will naturally spend more time around them, pay closer attention, and gradually come to understand them better. However, the real "secret" is something else. Plenty of men love women but still struggle because attraction requires more than desire; you still need to develop the kind of personality that naturally draws people in and holds their attention. Loving women helps but it’s not what ultimately determines success with them.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

The incel is spiteful and frustrated, the player accepts female nature as a fun challenge

"Don't worry about what the players do"

@BPH loves the game ... that's what keeps him in the right state of mind on his journey. He'll be fine if he helps other men as his purpose. If it's only about him getting women then yea it will eventually burn him down.

 

[BPH]

However, the real "secret" is something else. Plenty of men love women but still struggle because attraction requires more than desire; you still need to develop the kind of personality that naturally draws people in and holds their attention. Loving women helps but it’s not what ultimately determines success with them.

Correct, but it IS what will give men the resilience to keep learning and improving, despite many failures. That is why I believe it is the differentiator between good and great.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Clockwerk,
Sorry but my take on Don Juan is that slice him how you like,he was a predatorial sexual psychopath.

 

[CornbreadFed]

However, the real "secret" is something else. Plenty of men love women but still struggle because attraction requires more than desire; you still need to develop the kind of personality that naturally draws people in and holds their attention. Loving women helps but it’s not what ultimately determines success with them.

ding ding, being a likeable person in general is going to make your dating life easier. The online manosphere tells men they are some Sigma or caged Alpha male and that society is beneath them. You might be able to get a few lays if you looks maxxed accordingly, but everything else will be an uphill battle.

 

[kavi]

Wait...this guy says .. "just love women..."
the female on the forum chimes in on this exact post i wonder why and says "yeah.."

and bph looks like a real homo in the photo..
and no game or knowledge in his post...

your just a f-boy girls are killing time with while they look for someone to catch long term...

and there is nothing can be done about it except let you know..

and you are saying"just love women" as if we are NOT ivingin a time when dating and relationship culture is at an all time low and going even lower...

bph is a fake is the problem the pimp-trick game or alpha-beta game is the only thing that has potential or real significance.


but bph is a littlefool and those guys are just waiting to get b*tchlslapped when the market changes he is the simp or beta that female animals use to anger the alpha males just a side character in the story...

 

[kavi]

bph is like that gay best friend who gets sex by sucking up he aint sh*t

 

[BPH]

Wait...this guy says .. "just love women..."
the female on the forum chimes in on this exact post i wonder why and says "yeah.."

and bph looks like a real homo in the photo..
and no game or knowledge in his post...

your just a f-boy girls are killing time with while they look for someone to catch long term...

and there is nothing can be done about it except let you know..

and you are saying"just love women" as if we are NOT ivingin a time when dating and relationship culture is at an all time low and going even lower...

bph is a fake is the problem the pimp-trick game or alpha-beta game is the only thing that has potential or real significance.


but bph is a littlefool and those guys are just waiting to get b*tchlslapped when the market changes he is the simp or beta that female animals use to anger the alpha males just a side character in the story...

bph is like that gay best friend who gets sex by sucking up he aint sh*t

I have zero idea who you are, despite the fact that you've apparently been here for 4 years, so I also have no idea what you seemingly have against me personally.

Your little tirade was cute the first time, but clearly, you have nothing constructive to add. I'm gonna tag @BackInTheGame78 and @Doctor Europeo because you're starting to derail the thread, and I'd like to keep this going for those who would benefit from it.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

@kavi

I understand disagreements can get heated, but your recent posts crossed the line. Direct personal attacks and the use of derogatory language are not acceptable here. We expect members to challenge ideas, not insult or target other users.

Consider this a warning. Going forward, keep your responses focused on the discussion itself and avoid personal attacks or inflammatory language. If you feel another member is violating the rules, do not escalate—please use the report function instead.

 

[kavi]

Whatever this guy said in his post, all i recall was in short "just love women ( and i am getting laid alot)" this is jjust because getting laid with guys like you or in circumstances is just the social trend atm for many women. But nothing you said in your post is heklpful or valuable in anyway and ofcouse the women love you are also kinda putting them on a pedestal and you have zero knowledge of any thing about attraction inner game or anything you just the type of average fun guy women are currenbtly sleeping wtih as the rest of the relatiponship market is in whatever state it is in right now.

Now for the rest of you guys iuts simple, becauyse you rate guys like this and pua types etc this is why we are in the mess are currently in where most things socially are broken down.

So you can follow this guy but you will follow him to hell bedause i happen to know the second coming is for real and god himself willcome as a human and if you imagine god as a human (likely is already here) which type pf guy would he be, like an alpha male type knowldegdable attractive guy or this guy bph and what is gonna happen to those females who are so low they can act all high but then behind the scenes sleep with random guys they dont even know.

and for that female here dont pretend females sleeping with this guy is anything if i was in room with this guy i would wipe the floor with him i have beenat events with male modelsand still the females were looking at me. I am by far the hottest guy here just wait till i get on social media and get my break the lower ones will be called out the females and their little friends you guys have to remember always to look up not down but the sexual marketplace with females hoing it up it makes it difficult.

For some reason I find casual sex the hardest to engage in tbh and so these types of behaviors they are like my antithesis and i am usually that guy talking long term to girls and for them to thinkn they are clever engaging in sexua behaviours from tinder or whaetver and worse to act like the guy they f is anything but a nobody is very frustrating. ~

Like a woman would act like getting laid wirth her is important or something like there is some pressure but the guys getting laid in hookups is nothing guys.

 

[kavi]

If you wanna talk about game or relationships or anything substantial you are gonna have to remove all PUA type people from here because today nothces and pua is just go on dating app and be the guy they are ****ing (as part pf there dating strategy) there is nothing there no knowledge nothing.

PUA became"go online and hope to get laid" thats why PUAis dead (it was meant to die anyway) and cold approach is totally dead..

Everything is dead because you guys still think some ranbdom pua type 'fun' dude likeBPH is the way to go yh thats what the girls want you to think.

Anyway i could be upset but i just realised most young men and women are way more lost and upset than me so have fun boys and girls but the time is limited you gotta pay your duies sometime and remember it always goes UP

 

[BPH]

But nothing you said in your post is heklpful or valuable in anyway and ofcouse the women love you are also kinda putting them on a pedestal and you have zero knowledge of any thing about attraction inner game or anything you just the type of average fun guy women are currenbtly sleeping wtih as the rest of the relatiponship market is in whatever state it is in right now.

If I have zero knowledge about attraction or inner game, then why am I getting laid so much?

Now for the rest of you guys iuts simple, becauyse you rate guys like this and pua types etc this is why we are in the mess are currently in where most things socially are broken down.

I'm not a PUA type. I don't have canned lines, routines, gimmicks, or crutches. I went to the gym, learned to approach women, and got really good at reading social cues and body language...which is why I've grown to have the success I have when it comes to dating and seduction.

So you can follow this guy but you will follow him to hell bedause i happen to know the second coming is for real and god himself willcome as a human and if you imagine god as a human (likely is already here)

Oh...you're one of those...no surprise you don't like me then.

and for that female here dont pretend females sleeping with this guy is anything if i was in room with this guy i would wipe the floor with him i have beenat events with male modelsand still the females were looking at me. I am by far the hottest guy here just wait till i get on social media and get my break the lower ones will be called out the females and their little friends you guys have to remember always to look up not down but the sexual marketplace with females hoing it up it makes it difficult.

You are welcome to try.

My journey is well documented in my journal. I now do this for a living, and I upload content that echoes my beliefs. There is absolutely nothing stopping you from doing the same, and letting the public decide whether you are as amazing as you think you are...or if you're off your rocker and just some envious troll.

Like a woman would act like getting laid wirth her is important or something like there is some pressure but the guys getting laid in hookups is nothing guys.

A quick Google search shows that somewhere between 1/4 and 1/3 men aged 18-30 haven't had sex in the last year. If it were as easy as you make it out to be, we wouldn't have this forum, the red pill movement, or the business of dating coaching as a whole.

If you wanna talk about game or relationships or anything substantial you are gonna have to remove all PUA type people from here because today nothces and pua is just go on dating app and be the guy they are ****ing (as part pf there dating strategy) there is nothing there no knowledge nothing.

This post isn't about game. The entire purpose is that if a guy wants to seduce a lot of women, he needs to love women as a whole. Because if he doesn't, he will never learn game, because it's not worth the pain and time required to reach any level of proficiency.

Again, this is if you want to seduce a LOT of women. I know plenty of guys who have single-digit body counts and settled with some high school sweetheart. This is not necessary if that's what you desire - though having such a mindset would certainly help them achieve that result faster.

Imagine what's required to be good at almost anything...

Can you drive to work without being passionate about cars?
Yeah, but you'd need to be passionate if you wanted to be a NASCAR driver.

Can you get healthy by working out 2 or 3 times a week?
Yeah, but you'd need to go a lot more often if you wanted to be a bodybuilder.

Can you doodle a picture of a dinosaur in a notebook without being passionate about drawing?
Yeah, but you'd need to do a lot more than that if you wanted to be an artist.

Do you get the picture yet?

PUA became"go online and hope to get laid" thats why PUAis dead (it was meant to die anyway) and cold approach is totally dead..

Cold approach is far from dead...it is the best way to meet women short of being a celebrity and having fame and status - AKA most of us.

Everything is dead because you guys still think some ranbdom pua type 'fun' dude likeBPH is the way to go yh thats what the girls want you to think.

So the girls want you to believe that being the "fun" dude, like me, is the way to go to get girls...and the way they make you believe that is by f***ing me?

How manipulative of those women.

Anyway i could be upset but i just realised most young men and women are way more lost and upset than me so have fun boys and girls but the time is limited you gotta pay your duies sometime and remember it always goes UP

Thanks for stopping by again. Looking forward to your next tantrum.

In the future, you can edit posts to add your angry thoughts as you get them, rather than making separate replies for each angry thought.

 

[kavi]

Nobody can be passionate about girls, hat does that even mean, i suppose one can be passionate about relationships, but what are saying that you are passionate about girls so you get laid alot then where are the many girls still hanging around you after all those years.

Look I am the guy girls think about and effects their life long term. If i just talk to a girl i can get hermore affected then any guy she slpet with, esp as they dont want to get effected so they sleep with guys they can quickyly forget.

Now me and you are odds but it is perfectly normal and strategic we have different strategies and so one is to the detriment of the other, I want girls many of them long term i dont want to go looking for sex each time thats not my style, My job is to make guys likeyou look bad.

You wanna come here like your a big successful guy hey we may even call you an alpha male if your succesful and you surely are talking like a successfukl guy in your post and then giving advice to your followers. So maybe you are the alpha male.

In the animal world the alpha male is the older mature leader of the pack he gets most of eth females then other high ranking males and the younger ones on the side they get less. But today those younger ones are having a field day.

But you guys should not forget your psoition and remember to stay in that position you have nothing to gloapt about here you dont know anything about girls would you call yourself a man i doubt itnow the girls they are clever they have made it upside down when a guy like you with little knowledge of game or manisphere can come to the area and talk and say only "just be passionate about girls and be fun".

The real men who can talk and shouldd the alpha males who know the most and they would know how to deal with women long term short term notches dont mean jack its just supeficial personlity looks and circumstances, do you think mystery with his big look and those puas of that time would fare so well today proably not but real knowledge lasts.

Listen you dont 'get girls' you are just winning now due to hardly any men (or women) are happy with the dynamic you can talk about getting girls when you have decent long term relationships with mutltiple women not being some pua

BRO you are not good with girls, i told you, you are like their gay friend and i can even see in your avatar if thats you it does look very effeminate you and your followers are confused.

Im saying this because i have seen all kinds of losers get laid and one nught stands they usually normal fridndly guys sort of good looking but usually VERY BETA because beta males are good at being told how to behave by womena and following the line.