"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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When you are the second choice

jhonny9546

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Have you ever been some women's second/third choices? (So not the first one)

It would be discuss what you learned from this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ThisIsSparta

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Lessons learned:

1. Never chase a woman. Choose your woman amongst the women that choose you. If she plays hard to get, you are not her first choice.

2. Never tolerate disrespect of any kind at any point. If she doesnt respects you all the time, you are not her first choice.

3. If she is constantly nagging or ****testing you, she is not sure you are her first choice. Put her in her place every time until she stops or walk away if she doesnt.
 

Solomon

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WOW I literally just saw a video about this topic before I hit the site

IMO the Alpha widow theory is very true especially if a woman has been ran through
I remember I was casually dating a woman for a few months this year
and SHe told me her ex-husband wasn't her first choice she married him because "He was a good guy" and her dad was telling her "You ain't getting any younger you're 25" etc. Well fast forward 20 years later now divorced
 

Clockwerk50

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the stigma of being an “orbiter” in the dating game. As we know, women tend to give their most emotional attention to their top choice, while the rest often get breadcrumbs. Men, on the other hand, are generally able to spread their attention across multiple partners more evenly.

With this in mind, being an orbiter can work but only in a specific circumstances such as the man has abundance and can handle the fluctuations of going from second choice to first choice. With this mind, the result is that he may be able to have sex with this girl at whatever intervals he becomes her top choice, whether that’s weeks, months, or even years. Again, this applies only if the man does not want a relationship with her, and is essentially just a hookup/side piece.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Manure Spherian

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Manure Spherian

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the stigma of being an “orbiter” in the dating game. As we know, women tend to give their most emotional attention to their top choice, while the rest often get breadcrumbs. Men, on the other hand, are generally able to spread their attention across multiple partners more evenly.

With this in mind, being an orbiter can work but only in a specific circumstances such as the man has abundance and can handle the fluctuations of going from second choice to first choice. With this mind, the result is that he may be able to have sex with this girl at whatever intervals he becomes her top choice, whether that’s weeks, months, or even years. Again, this applies only if the man does not want a relationship with her, and is essentially just a hookup/side piece.
Yes. Being in the friend zone actually works for some cases. Hence one will hear from women, “I met my husband when I was with someone else,” and, “I dated his friend before I dated him.”

In some cases, as with some social cliques or gangs, the women rotate through the entire crew like musical chairs. They are “friends” with all of them.
 

Gamisch

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Let's go against ( just for argumentative sake) say that you ARE her first choice today...she worships you, follows your every mobe like a hawk and asks for infinite attention.

Because a woman who REALLY likes you will be a couple of hands full.

Ocer time( imo mac 3 years, ABSOLUTE max) you'll slowly become her 2nd choice. After a while you've lost frame, show weakness , the " new car smell) ran off. BUT...because you've been investing heavily into the narrative that you are "that guy" you can't "just" leave. So you ride it out praying she will again be annoyingly worshipping you.

You can feel your becoming 2nd or even 3rd choice, slowly but steadily. She might even mention other men more and more.

This is why I advise to position yourself in such a way that you can walk at ay given moment. The day she starts changing her behaviour is the day you should be able to at very fecking least be ale to pull out the exit strategy.

Your girl is fresh new p00sy to the next man. You gotta understand the abundance that women have in that regard.
 

BaronOfHair

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Unless you're her first(And who the hell really wants that responsibility?), you're by definition NOT her first choice, and likely won't be her last. And unless you're gunned down by Hezbollah operatives who've mistaken you for director of The Mossad, immediately after you've bedded her, she won't be YOUR last either
 

BadBoy89

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2nd choice for what? To get her pregnant?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Gamisch

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This is the hardest lesson to learn and put in practice

You are her first choice at a certain moment in HER life
Hard to tell.

Most of my former incel homies managed to CORNER a woman into a position where she is dependent upon them..so yeah, they are in the company of a woman but for all we know they were her 10000th choice.

Having said that, anyone who knows anything about women know that if youd straight up ask them about their preferences, that the truth will be a hard pill to swallow.

Being her first choice is like taking a shot of whiskey ; it's exiting but the effect will wear off quickly, and you need another and another shot to keep the "buzz" alive.

You could argue that being her first choice is really about pride, a pipe dream and far from reality. Some men ( the incels??) dgaf ( anymore) about that. It's mostly men who have huge egos who believe that they are the only one and also the best one AND will remain that for ever evah.

"
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Manure Spherian

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Vanderdonck

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Again; you've BEEN numero uno and her behaviour suddenly swifts. Most women cam only worship one man at the time.

Yhe difference between being nr 1 and 2 is like night and day. Everything after nr 2 doesn't matter anymore.
Yep, 2nd choice is tied for last place. Been there. Guys think women are good at spinning plates but they kind of suck at it.

However, women have been known to level down to get some D when their first choice isn't working out.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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