Should a solid man with experience tolerate this behavior from a wife or LTR?

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I see something off in a young married woman engaging in this online behavior. A “happily” occupied married woman has no business in this type of internet exposure unless she is bored and unhappy in her relationship. Having no friends is some Mickey Mouse excuse for the birds. I’m not implying that she wants to cheat. No, I don’t think it’s the case of her wanting to go off the reservation but she does want to tip her toe in single waters again to get that feeling back with other potential internet girlfriends.
Maybe im wrong here and my patriarchal thinking is outdated, needs refreshment and I’m taking the wrong stance here. I would welcome it, if you fellas would illuminate me if I’m being too territorial. I’m from an ultra liberal west coast city and this women behavior is normal and condoned by society standards. Personally, I wouldn’t tolerate it. Not for her, but for my own peace of mind.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

hell no.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

No, she should know better.

 

[pipeman84]

OK, so I guess the OP's assumption is that she's an AW and basically not a quality girl.
But on the other hand, she's not even 22 and she's married and she's moved house following her husband. That's not the typical description of a bimbo/party girl, is it?
We need more context, like for instance where was this posted? who are the guysss? is it a nurses/medical field employees group?

 

[Sega Genesis]

We need more context, like for instance where was this posted? who are the guysss? is it a nurses/medical field employees group?

Agree @pipeman84 .

It's sounds to me like it's some sort of website/app to make new female friends as she is new to the area. Makes sense to me.

Her opening "Hey guysss!" was not referring to "guys/men." I sometimes post on a mostly female forum (NOT a man-bashing forum for clarity ) and often begin my posts with 'Hey guys.." referring to women however there are men that contribute too.

My "hey guys" is addressing all members of the forum both women and men.

It can be a neutral greeting.... assuming that's what you're basing your opinion on and that her post was catering to men?

I think her joining a "making new friends" app or a "job" app is fine and not breaking any commitment vows, whether marriage or LTR.

$.02

 

[Divorced w 3]

First off, this post won’t surprise her husband. He knows her ways, but, It’s an absolute thirst post and if it were me, he picked the wrong woman to marry. She moved there knowing full well what that meant. There’s so many natural avenues they could pursue, such as going out with his colleagues, building a life together, things young couples do.

 

[Divorced w 3]

But on the other hand, she's not even 22 and she's married and she's moved house following her husband. That's not the typical description of a bimbo/party girl, is it?

says who? What if her background has no meaningful ties, not from a stable lifestyle, etc? Does this kind of post smell to you like someone who is used to a normal life and way of interacting with people and building relationships?

 

[Sega Genesis]

At the end she wrote "HMU to become friends...."

I understand pursuing ways to make mutual friends as a couple but they each should have their own friends too separate from each other...

Sure she could join in-person groups, the "friends" app is just another avenue.

Too much togetherness and codependency is the kiss of death in any LTR/marriage

You guys should know that!

In any event we need more context as to what type of app/site this is...etc.

 

[Sega Genesis]

To add, I highly doubt if it was a "thirst trap" she would have opened with "I moved here almost a year ago due to my husband's job..."

And again at the end "Hit me up to become friends..."

Just my take and "friends" apps are fairly popular and since she's new to area and has no local friends it makes perfect sense to me!

 

[justaroundthecorner]

She should not behave like that, but there are millions women thinking like her. Why to bother about this one?

 

[pipeman84]

says who? What if her background has no meaningful ties, not from a stable lifestyle, etc? Does this kind of post smell to you like someone who is used to a normal life and way of interacting with people and building relationships?

I give her a lot of credit for the fact alone that she's not even 22yrs old and already married. Unless it turns out she did porn or something, that already puts her above the majority of married women.
Sounds to me she's looking to build a social circle, being new in the area. The fact she clearly stated she has a husband is another plus for her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I give her a lot of credit for the fact alone that she's not even 22yrs old and already married. Unless it turns out she did porn or something, that already puts her above the majority of married women.
Sounds to me she's looking to build a social circle, being new in the area. The fact she clearly stated she has a husband is another plus for her.

I don’t know that getting married at 22 years old without a job necessarily looks like a great decision making process or a credit to her.

 

[plumber]

At the end she wrote "HMU to become friends...."

I understand pursuing ways to make mutual friends as a couple but they each should have their own friends too separate from each other...

Sure she could join in-person groups, the "friends" app is just another avenue.

Too much togetherness and codependency is the kiss of death in any LTR/marriage

You guys should know that!

In any event we need more context as to what type of app/site this is...etc.

LTR does not need additional male friends. At least 50% of them will want to smash her, maybe 100%.

 

[plumber]

I see something off in a young married woman engaging in this online behavior. A “happily” occupied married woman has no business in this type of internet exposure unless she is bored and unhappy in her relationship. Having no friends is some Mickey Mouse excuse for the birds. I’m not implying that she wants to cheat. No, I don’t think it’s the case of her wanting to go off the reservation but she does want to tip her toe in single waters again to get that feeling back with other potential internet girlfriends.
Maybe im wrong here and my patriarchal thinking is outdated, needs refreshment and I’m taking the wrong stance here. I would welcome it, if you fellas would illuminate me if I’m being too territorial. I’m from an ultra liberal west coast city and this women behavior is normal and condoned by society standards. Personally, I wouldn’t tolerate it. Not for her, but for my own peace of mind.

View attachment 14564

No, you have it correct. This is disrespect to her chosen man. Not maybe, its for sure.

 

[Sega Genesis]

LTR does not need additional male friends. At least 50% of them will want to smash her, maybe 100%.

I'm curious why you think she was seeking male friends? I saw no evidence of that and I already explained her use of the neutral greeting "Hey guysss."

To ME, the way her message was worded sounded like a message on a "friends" app seeking female friends.

Just my read with such limited info and context.

 

[Sega Genesis]

No, you have it correct. This is disrespect to her chosen man. Not maybe, its for sure.

Disrespect to join a friends app to make new local female friends since she's new to the area?

Where's the disrespect?

I'm seriously not getting y'all's thought process about this. Perhaps someone could explain, I'm open!

Seems an awful lot of negative assumptions are being made here. SMH

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I didn’t think this post was going to get any traction. I found that post at random on a FB group of local people in their 20s looking for friendships and connections in my city. Literally the group is called “San Diego 20s”. I just use FB for business purposes and marketplace but I just wanted to scope out that group to see how some young women behave on social media and it didn’t prove me wrong again. A good portion are thirsty for validation and attention single or not.

 

[zekko]

Disrespect to join a friends app to make new local female friends since she's new to the area?
Where's the disrespect?

I agree with this, actually. As long as she is actually looking to make female friends and not encouraging any guys who are likely to contact her. Women need friends. I understand the concern, things can go south quickly at that age. But technically she's not doing anything wrong. Yellow flag at most.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Disrespect to join a friends app to make new local female friends since she's new to the area?

Where's the disrespect?

I'm seriously not getting y'all's thought process about this. Perhaps someone could explain, I'm open!

Seems an awful lot of negative assumptions are being made here. SMH

Respectfully, you are missing the forest for the trees. I will rather be prepared for a war that may never come than be surprised and unready for a war.
Look at her pictures.. that’s the fine workings of a “single chick” especially in the group she posted it in.
In none she included the blindsided husband just to reinforce some boundaries. May I add that she conveniently posted one up of her tits bulging out. Smooth thirst trap (Nice tits by the way).

Any internet exposure of that nature coming from an LTR of mine let alone wife is not condoned. Married women don’t need internet friends if she keeps herself busy and does actual things with her husband like someone said above. She still wants friends? then join a hobby group in person with married women alike and make natural organic friendships there with good women. Not with whatever hoodrat from that corner of the internet.

All people have a natural tendency towards giving in to temptation. Fidelity is a very difficult thing to achieve, that's why it's so coveted. The best way to ensure a faithful relationship/marriage is for each person to remove themselves where temptation can occur. If you're not willing to do that, then why even be married? Just stay single.

It takes real strength to put your foot down and deny your Itr/wife the freedom she used to enjoy when she was single. Many men like to pretend they are being strong by not being "jealous", "insecure", etc. I think that's bs and taking the easy way out because you're afraid to lose the pvssy. The hard way is laying down the law where she accepts it and doesn’t hold a grudge against you.

Ignore all the above at your own peril. Some men will learn it the hard way eventually.

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm with Giovanni on this one. AW behavior on a social media platform full of single 20 somethings with provocative photos (and no husband in the photos either)....

Totally inappropriate with boobs hanging out. I mean at least dress conservatively for God's sake.

She needs to be seeking out female friends at her yoga class or chat up another woman while shopping or getting coffee or get friendly with the wives/girlfriends of other men who her husband works with.

That is called building a social circle. My 22 year old daughter-in-law would NEVER do this. She is attractive but her figure is reserved for her husband's eyes only, and she dresses very conservatively in longer skirts and cute flats and her style is very Kate Middleton.

My daughter-in-law makes girlfriends with the wives of my son's friends and military officer associates (and yes military culture is its own thing but the officer's wives are a traditionalist old school social network.)

But this is attention seeking behavior as well as a covert threat to the husband that she needs more attention from him.....or else.

I never post pictures of myself on social media of just me in a provocative pose. Even my avatar is a conservative outfit (and that photo is only here for verification that I am who I say looks wise)....

Terribly disrespectful to her husband, who is probably clueless and swamped at work.