Reincarnated
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2023
- Messages
- 136
- Reaction score
- 123
I think this whole post is probably the most rational opinion on this thread, but the last paragraph is particularly key.We obviously have very different perceptions of the dating market, but I don’t understand the need to ridicule. As I stated in my original post, I am happy and keen to have my stance / perception challenged, but this is my experience of being on the apps. Did all hot women that I took on dates fall for me after the first date? Obviously not; with some there wasn’t even a second date, but with the vast majority there was.
To provide some perspective: I spent ~12 years on and off this forum, mostly as a lurker. I was lucky enough to find the old posts by Pook, Adonis, Jariel and Anti-dump at an early age and I truly internalized their advise (focus was on developing oneself, as opposed to learning techniques). The self development mantra and the notion of “investing” rather than “spending” your time always stuck with me, and made me realize that an bit of suffering today could pay a lot of dividend in the future. As a result, I accelerated academically back in high school and university, and continued to apply the ideas in my career thereafter. Sure, I have had my set-backs and weak moments during the years - and I would usually come to this forum to seek out advice / read - but it made for a solid foundation.
I still think that I am ‘average’ overall: sure, in some aspects I am in the top bucket (top 1% of earners in London, but <35Y), but I also work 60-80 hour weeks and I am <6 feet (and admitted to this on my OLD while I had it) and following the general consensus of this forum it should be game over on the apps for me on that factor alone. However, I had an absolute amazing experience on there. @Dr.Suave would probably remember that I sought out advice early on, as I was somewhat self conscious about joining OLD for the first time since its release, as everyone was complaining about it on here. The advice was solid and I had a great time on all of my dates as I did whatever I wanted to do anyway.
@corrector keeps calling me a chad-lite after I posted my dating profile on here some time ago, but I disagree. I honestly just think that the competition on apps is seriously sub-par, and that the vast majority of guys on there have lost touch with their masculinity. They reek of laziness, are poorly groomed and out of shape (and don’t give me the spiel about how girls have it easier and could get away with this. It defeats the point).
If you doubt me, borrower the phone of any one of your single female friends and swipe for 5-10 min. It’ll change your perspective completely on the competition out there. Don’t focus on the amount of matches she attracts, but focus on the poor selection.
I would like to challenge anyone who complains about OLD to take 12 months off dating and during that time truly commit and focus on developing yourself, your health, your workout, your social skills and your career. Don’t slack, but commit to the cause. At the end of it, get some good photos taken and rejoin the apps. If your success rate doesn’t triple (which it will if you have put in the effort), at least you’ll be in a much better place than 12 months ago.
I echo the one year moratorium on OLD to REALLY focus on self improvement. I'd highlight the fitness potential being the most critical. People are surprised with how much of a positive spillover effect that getting into a great and highly disciplined fitness routine can have on the other aspects of life. It forces accountability, something that many lack.
I myself am actually on an intentional long term hiatus from OLD (partially because this is the busiest time of the year at work/partially because I wanted to elevate physical appearance). It's only been about 3 months so far, but I do plan on going a full year before throwing my hat back into the ring.
OLD will never be a fair fight...good, then become the guy who it's unfairly stacked in favor of. There's more to it than height and natural genetics, there's a lot you can do to get yourself into that 10-20% the gals flock to. I'd even go as far as saying as guys who are well-versed in this community have an advantage in OLD after they've expressed interest because the early stages are so text-centric, and if you're smart you can apply the same concepts as you would in the real world... But you have the added advantage of additional response time.
Build good habits. Choose one specific thing today that you can make an effort towards improving, then do it tomorrow, do it for a week, do it for a month, a year, and then do it for life. Jordan Peterson (I don't care what you're opinion is on him personally, he has great psychological advice) has some very good points in this realm.