Could you have avoided becoming an AFC?

[El Payaso]

Is there anything about your upbringing that if done differently could have prevented you becoming an AFC in the first place?

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah, I could have had a father who wasn't a coward.

But, then I wouldn't know a coward if I saw one.

It's weird the way life works sometimes.

Good topic!!!

 

[Listen_to_Olly]

I had the opposite experience where I had fun in high school, college, and shortly after that but then I started working and life went to ****. Not enough time to do anything and very exhausted on the weekends. I might be getting a chance to DJ on the weekends so that should be fun!

 

[NSX-R]

If my father was more around . He was travelling a lot for business reasons and there were also times where i wasn't seeing him for 10 months or so .

 

[btownbuck2012]

I suppose I could blame my father and mother, although I choose not to. My dad definitely would be classified as a 'beta' in the manosphere and my mom was a bit domineering.

However, they both have a-lot of good qualities, too. My dad is an excellent public speaker and can talk to anyone. He just naturally knows how to start conversations with anyone. My mom is the kindest most thoughtful person I've ever met.

And the older I've got the more I've appreciated what a great set of parents I have and how important those good qualities they have are. They are good people. Sure they're not perfect, but after what I've experienced on the east coast for the past 4 years I am truly grateful that I had a mother and father who loved me and taught me how to be a good person. I've had to develop the tough edge about myself on my own but my underlying core values that I picked up from my mom and dad are invaluable.

It's SO SO Important to come to peace with any issues you have with your Mom and Dad. They did the best they could with you. We're men now and we have the ability to change ourselves and develop into our own selves.

 

[OJN_98]

Yeah, I think not having a father figure is what set me back. I grew up being raised by both my mother and grandmother in the same household. My mother would try and be the father, but still tried to dump the traditional ideas how a woman should be treated, feminism, etc on me. As for granny, she coddled me too much. In addition, they didn't like for me to go out because I was too "green."

As a result, I spent my childhood being socially disconnected. It was only til my junior year of hs I began to change and now, as a senior, kinda fell back into AFC mode. So I'm trying to improve myself and whatnot.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

****, where do I start? Lmao

 

[Infern0]

There isnt anything I could have done, i just didnt have the knowledge etc.

If i had different parents obviously it'd have been different.

As soon as i found this site and all the info i put it to action straight away so i gove myself credit for taking action as soon as i could.

Before that i thought it was impossible to change and i was just doomed.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

My father is a total Alpha, he never stopped spinning his plates until late in the days. I never admired for that, although I respected him for being able to keep my Mom out of the loop as I grew up in a very stable home.
He never took the time to teach me the craft, so I ended up as a total beta myself.

 

[Infern0]

My father is a total Alpha, he never stopped spinning his plates until late in the days. I never admired for that, although I respected him for being able to keep my Mom out of the loop as I grew up in a very stable home.
He never took the time to teach me the craft, so I ended up as a total beta myself.

So he was cheating on your mum behind her back?

Rethink how you define "alpha"

 

[Initiatedindenial]

So he was cheating on your mum behind her back?

Rethink how you define "alpha"

Enlight me.

 

[Infern0]

Enlight me.

There's nothing "alpha" about cheating on your wife

That's sneaky, devious behaviour

If a true "alpha" was not satisfied with his relationship he would have the courage to end it, and go look for what he actually wants.

Your "alpha" dad was too much of a coward to tell the truth

so again, check your definition of "alpha"

 

[amazingswayze]

I think if I played sports all my life I would have been naturally alpha and hung out with the popular kids. Down the road though, I would not be as wise and I would end up making beta mistakes. For example, professional athletes wifing up basic hoes and losing millions through divorce

 

[Initiatedindenial]

There's nothing "alpha" about cheating on your wife

That's sneaky, devious behaviour

If a true "alpha" was not satisfied with his relationship he would have the courage to end it, and go look for what he actually wants.

Your "alpha" dad was too much of a coward to tell the truth

so again, check your definition of "alpha"

Oks thanks for the heads up

 

[Who Dares Win]

Not so much you can do about your upbringing and life style when you need to ask permission to someone else.

Needless to say a better father would have been a blessing as much as a better social circle.

I mean someone will think Im crazy but even the way you get fed has an impact on your hormones and body therefore on your attituteds and actions.

If you are fed carbs and fat cause some cvnt thinks that meat is unhealthy you get skinny fat therefore you suck at sports and your test is low, failing at sport when you are a kid is not the best starting point.
It messes up everything from social feedbacks to success with girls.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

My father is a total Alpha, he never stopped spinning his plates until late in the days. I never admired for that, although I respected him for being able to keep my Mom out of the loop as I grew up in a very stable home.
He never took the time to teach me the craft, so I ended up as a total beta myself.

That's not what alpha means at all.

 

[SmooveMooves]

That's not what alpha means at all.

There is no definitive 'alpha.' That being said, player probably would have been a better word for him to avoid you moral high ground warriors.

 

[SmooveMooves]

You'll notice a trend here. Majority of those who grow up beta (hate this term) have weak male figures. Modern men are being raised by women and feminism, even if there is a father present in the home. Western society and values have been feminised while masculinity has been demonized. This is why many men grow up believing the disney fantasy that if you're nice and caring enough, you will have love forever.

 

[Mike32ct]

Great question.

No, there is nothing I could have done.

1. I didn't choose to have very strict parents that didn't believe in me socializing. It just came with the territory. So the sheltered life with zero friends, dates, and extra-curricular activities was a given.

2. The other thing I couldn't control was the knowledge piece. Honestly, I didn't figure out the importance of looks until maybe my low to mid 30s. (Then I had a few great years until hair loss finished that.) But generally, nobody told me ANYTHING about women. All of my posts are based on what I experienced and/or observed.

For years, I literally had NO idea why some guys in high school, college and beyond had loads of gfs and I had none. I knew some of those guys worked out or were on sports teams, but that still didn't "click" for me. In school, people would pat me on the back for being "smart" and the straight-A nerd, but it was always friendzone with women. But I didn't know what friendzone was at the time lol. I thought it was normal lol.

Today, I get patted on the back for being a great worker and brilliant at my job, and I still get friendzoned by women. But at least I know what it is and what is going on. I just keep typing away at my reports while I hear women giggle in the office because of some Chad delivery guy dropping off documents lol.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Great question.

No, there is nothing I could have done.

1. I didn't choose to have very strict parents that didn't believe in me socializing. So the sheltered life with zero friends, dates, and extra-curricular activities was a given.

2. The other thing I couldn't control was the knowledge piece. Honestly, I didn't figure out the importance of looks until maybe my 30s. (Then I had a few great years until hair loss finished that.) But generally, nobody told me ANYTHING about women. All of my posts are based on what I experienced and/or observed.

For years, I literally had NO idea why some guys in high school, college and beyond had loads of gfs and I had none. I knew some of those guys worked out or were on sports teams, but that still didn't "click" for me.

So Mike32ct...

From an "outsider looking in" perspective what was the strongest draw for women?

1. Looks?
2. Affiliation? ( Social circles Frats, College or Pro ball player )
3. Money?
4. Intelligence?
5. Game?
etc