"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The #1 Way to Make her Gush

bigneil

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There will be times when the conversation with your woman goes south, when you find you're on the verge of an argument and you want to reverse things and go back to the bliss you felt during times when you always seemed to find the right words. Make no mistake: these are the make or break moments of the relationship. Whine one more time, fail to drop it, make one false accusation, reveal your secret fear, or turn a minor disagreement into a full blown argument and there won't be sex for you with this woman for some time.

So what do you do? It turns out there is an easy answer. You just trust her, and in doing that you trust yourself to have already chosen the right girl. You just put complete faith in her and say "I believe you" even when she knows it might not look good for her. Especially when she knows that. Focus on what you love about her and say "With you and (xyz) babe, nothing else matters". Expect the conversation to instantly go back to love and hearts.

It's even more essential that to do this when she is trying to be accommodating. Don't take it for granted that she will make an effort to hold onto the relationship.

Note: if you didn't already establish yourself as someone she knew she was capable of losing, she won't be accommodating to being with, and she won't then feel rewarded when you trust her. It's only when she knows she can lose you that this technique works. It is the two sided coin of ruthlessly being willing to walk on a dime and occasionally putting complete faith in her that offers the balance we are seeking.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Roober

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You just trust her? I don't get that. Did she do something to make your jealous neil?

You do have to always be willing to walk away. Be less invested in the relationship than she is, even if only by a little

and for the record... a bit disappointed neil... I thought you meant a different kind of gush :D
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GT40

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So in other words ALWAYS BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY
Exactly the words
Keep her on her toes and guessing as to how stable the relationship is.
When she knows your to terrified to leave she has you.
 

RangerMIke

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Trust her? No. But you have to behave in a way that you trust her.... which is that you really do not care what she does. Someone that does not care and is willing to walk away from a chick if things go sideways... will behave like a guy who trusts her.

Girl: "Hey Mike, I going dancing with my girlfriends."
Mike: "Have fun."

Now what could be going on in "Mike's" head is either.
(1) I completely trust her, she really is only going to dance with her girlfriends. or
(2) LOL! Yea... she is dancing with her girlfriends... oh well, can't control her... she can do what she wants. I'll just dial up another chick.

The response is the same, the mindset is different.
 

AlphaNate

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Trust her? No. But you have to behave in a way that you trust her.... which is that you really do not care what she does. Someone that does not care and is willing to walk away from a chick if things go sideways... will behave like a guy who trusts her.

Girl: "Hey Mike, I going dancing with my girlfriends."
Mike: "Have fun."

Now what could be going on in "Mike's" head is either.
(1) I completely trust her, she really is only going to dance with her girlfriends. or
(2) LOL! Yea... she is dancing with her girlfriends... oh well, can't control her... she can do what she wants. I'll just dial up another chick.

The response is the same, the mindset is different.
Yeah, but "(1) Mike" is probably an idiot.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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The Duke

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Big Neil is a big Baller, shot caller
20 inch blades on the Impala
Call her, gettin' laid tonight
Swisha rolled tight, got sprayed by Ike
Hit the highway, making money the fly way
 
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sazc

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It feels a little beta to me to refuse to disagree with your female because you won't get sex. Not to mention, I certainly don't want my man patronizing or placating me. Alpha makes speak their truth.

I'm about honest, calm communication. You have to disagree so you call learn to work thru arguments effectively.

Avoiding disagreements simply to keep the harmony is not having an authentic relationship. IMO these types of relationships have an expiration date.
Good luck
 

bigneil

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What's it like living in fairy tale land?
You mean what's it like to have sex with the girl you think is the most beautiful girl on Earth for months and months? You wonder whether it's all a dream, or whether you are living in the matrix.
 

bigneil

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It feels a little beta to me to refuse to disagree with your female.
Avoiding disagreements simply to keep the harmony is not having an authentic relationship. IMO these types of relationships have an expiration date. Good luck
Who says I refuse to disagree? I disagree as a matter of course. I challenge her almost daily and dare her to end it practically every time we have a date. That was half of my point which you are ignoring.

I do of course refuse to argue. As Coach Corey Wayne says, men who understand women don't argue with them. sazc means well but is underscoring why we have to take advice from women with a grain of salt here.

I'm simply pointing out that I've found that the times when I just trusted her and dropped whatever issue we were having (which was always something minor), that I've found she went from the low end of her interest level spectrum spontaneously to the high end, and I prefer it there. And if I'm going to date her for the better half of a year, I obviously have to trust her, so why not?

You guys have been suggesting my relationship wasn't sustainable for months. Meanwhile I estimate she's had about 50 orgasms with me and counting, making her one of my top 5 lovers of all time.
 

bigneil

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Disagreements will happen. It's when you put your foot down that it turns into an argument. Never do that. Walk away instead. She did something wrong? Make her come and reel you back in. If she doesn't the relationship ends. If she does, the issue couldn't have been that serious.

I think what I've now observed on about 3 occasions is this: she needs to know she can lose you, but also, she needs to know that she is more important than any one issue (assuming it's a minor one). I try to err on the side of what makes her love me the most, what leads to the most sex.

Winner attitude: You would never greatly wrong me, so of course I trust you. My women love me for life.
Loser attitude: I know you are up to something, I know you are going to hurt me like the others all did.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

bigneil

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I know a guy who owns an advertising agency and dates models. He tells me he never has issues with his women. Hes the one to taught me to give women freedom. In his frame, nothing women do can hurt him.

Dealing with women is all about attraction, not logic. The more dominant, unreactive, and carefree you are, the more she is trapped by your high value frame.

Women are purely reactive. Your nothing to lose attitude/frame is like a prison that she cannot escape from. A relationship always ends when the guy loses frame.
If you only respond to girls who are always initiating with you, if you never restrict them, if you are always willing to walk if they do something unacceptable, if you never argue with them, and if you are dedicated to making sure she has lots of orgasms when you are together, your relationships will tend to last.
 

guru1000

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Bigneil, higher value a/k/a frame is the glue. When you hold higher value, you can pretty much get away with anything (as long you are not violating one of her non-negotiables).

Your list of what you should or should not do is entirely frivolous within the macrocosm of value.

As I stated before:

Looks and/or status attracts. Higher value makes the "soldier."
 

bigneil

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Important! Whenever you compromise, always make her work for it.

Example: I'm willing to drop this issue so long as you promise to wear pig tails Thursday.
 

sazc

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Pig tai
Important! Whenever you compromise, always make her work for it.

Example: I'm willing to drop this issue so long as you promise to wear pig tails Thursday.
Any man says this to me and I immediately know I am in control of the frame. He's catering to me.

This also made me realize ... I've been replying to this thread with the expectation that the parties involved are mature, and your plate is 22, right? Makes sense you would say that to her.

I hate to tell you but she is a lot smarter than you are giving her credit for. If she's appearing to buy the BS you are trying to sell here, she's got you straight frame managed. She's so good, you can't see what's going on because she had your head buried in her pvssy and she is fake orgasming 50 times to keep you on the hook.

Again, good luck here.

P.S. Compete beta move to dismiss my contributions to these boards because of my gender . An opinion makes you feel uncomfortable has nothing to do with gender.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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