Now it's the ex wife!!

[jimjam]

This is in addition o all the other stuff I have going on with my ex girlfriend. You can read about that under Ex Girlfriend Reemergence Blues in the Mature Man subforum if you like.

A little background. I was married for eight years. Dare I say they were horrible. I was drunk and on drugs except for the last two years of the marriage. my wife was a miserable nut. Probably BPD. Long story short, we were too immature to get married when we did. I can honestly say that getting divorced was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I'm serious when I say that. Once those papers were signed I never looked back. We had no real assets. We just took what was our and went out separate ways. No alimony, no child support. I was sober and was thrilled to be rid of her. I felt as though I had been given a second chance.

So I get home from work the other day and there's a letter in my mailbox with a return address with my ex-wife's name. WTF I'm thinking. I haven't seen nor heard of her since the divorce was finalized 8 years ago, What the hell could she possibly want? I was afraid to open the fvcking thing. Anyway, the gist of it was that she was sorry for being such a crazy b!tch, she hopes I'm happy, we had a good life together and she was wrong to not try to work things out as I had suggested at the time. What got me was that she says that some of the best moments of her life were spent being married to me. I'm thinkkng, really? Wake up! did you forget how much I used to drink? I'm a fucjing alcoholic! I lied an stole and did all the lovely things that drunken drugged out losers do.

Anyway, looking for others opinions on this. I really don't want to talk to her but part of me can't help but be curious. I'm wondering if I should at least acknowledge that I got the letter, just to not be an a$$hole. I would reveal nothing and offer nothing either. Of course, this may open a can of worms since she's nuttier than a sh!thouse rat.

Incidentally, this may be my fault. I stumbled across her name while I was on linkedin. I got curious and read her profile. I don't know why. I harbor no feelings for her. Kind of like the same way you'd see what an old acquaintance is up to on there. anyway, she made mention of this in the letter. That she saw I looked at her profile. Jesus. I never thought this would happen because of this. If anything, I thought she'd think nothing of it the same way I would if she viewed me.

anyway......thanks

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She baited the hook with the letter and she's waiting to see if you'll bite. I wouldn't respond unless you want to drag this out.

 

[ubercat]

Letter is scary it means she knows where you live. So it's pretty unlikely a crazy chick has been doing all the self Improvement that you have. So you're getting the same craziness older and Less cute. Geez buddy if you want extra drama just watch the Kardashians

 

[jimjam]

Letter is scary it means she knows where you live. So it's pretty unlikely a crazy chick has been doing all the self Improvement that you have. So you're getting the same craziness older and Less cute. Geez buddy if you want extra drama just watch the Kardashians

You know, this is what I thought after I read the letter. "$hit. She knows where I live. Has she driven by my house?" I don't think she's that nuts but who's to say? She said in the letter that she "got help." I wonder. I mean, I was your steteotypical sloppy, drunken a$$hole when we were married. Anyone would be happy to get as far away from me as they could. What's her problem? I haven't spoken to het nor seen her in 8 fvcking years!!!!

 

[jimjam]

Meanwhile.....my son's mother bought me dinner last night.

 

[@Jonanthony]

Ubercat nailed it as per usual..... Crazy with history and knows where u live ; hmmmm think I've seen a movie or two with theme. Good luck dude!!!!!.

 

[The Duke]

My experience was similar......I didn't hear much from my exwife for several years. I learned from my sister that my exwife was depressed, gained weight, and in counseling to deal with issues related to our divorce that she never got past. Well, one day out of the blue I got a phone call at work. She didn't have my cell phone number so she called my work. I was blown away. She basically said the same thing that your ex wrote in the letter. Her counselor put her up to it as a way to get over the past. I'm guessing the same thing is happening with yours.

Don't acknowledge it, leave your past in the past........unless you want to revert back to your old ways.

 

[jimjam]

Ubercat nailed it as per usual..... Crazy with history and knows where u live ; hmmmm think I've seen a movie or two with theme. Good luck dude!!!!!.

I hope you're wrong. I hope I'm wrong too. I could forsee this devolving into aa bad debacle. If I answer the letter two things will happen. 1, it will give her a green light to throw all of her insanity back into my life. 2. Once i respond and then cease communication she's liable to show up at my house, banging on the door while screeching WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME!!!

If I don't answer the letter she's liable to show up at my house, banging on the doot while screeching WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME!!!!

Or am I being unkind?

 

[jimjam]

My experience was similar......I didn't hear much from my exwife for several years. I learned from my sister that my exwife was depressed, gained weight, and in counseling to deal with issues related to our divorce that she never got past. Well, one day out of the blue I got a phone call at work. She didn't have my cell phone number so she called my work. I was blown away. She basically said the same thing that your ex wrote in the letter. Her counselor put her up to it as a way to get over the past. I'm guessing the same thing is happening with yours.

Don't acknowledge it, leave your past in the past........unless you want to revert back to your old ways.

I hope you're right. I'm leaning toward ignoring it and hoping for the besr

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I'm embarrassed to admit but I was on the other side of that scenario, but I sent my note via Classmates.com lol
She didn't respond, and I didn't expect her to. And I'm glad she didn't. But sometimes you just gotta say your piece, you know? Maybe she needed the "closure" or whatever you want to call it, but I don't know that I'd get too worked up about it. Maybe just writing it down and sending it to you cleared it off of her mind.
Or, like you said, you'll wake up to find your pet rabbit boiling on the stove.

 

[speed dawg]

You obviously want drama, so go get it. Nothing we can do for you here.

 

[Von]

Females have a 6th sense for these things. When I broke up for my 5 years LTR... all my ex's and past ONS came back in my life (seeking to reconnect)... now they are all gone again .... leave the past behind... and don't chase drama... you never win against drama

 

[BeExcellent]

Nothing good comes from responding. Let it fade back into the murk from which it emerged.

 

[jimjam]

You obviously want drama, so go get it. Nothing we can do for you here.

Negative on the drama, dude. You think I want that? I've had enough of that to last three lifetimes. I've been through more **** in the last ten years than most people, which included coming to terms with my alcoholism and drug use, being diagnosed with MS, selling a house, building a new house, getting divorced, losing tens of thousands of dollars, being flat broke, moving 7 x, falling in love, splitting up, having a son, losing a job of thirteen years, in hospital 3x with MRSA, operated 2x on my arm to remove a bursa etc, etc. I've had enough insanity and unpredictability. I'm 44 years old. All I want to do is be a good father and hang on. I've decided to not respond to the letter. My ex was nothing but negativity, drama and insanity. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it. Receiving that letter out of the blue like that threw me for a loop, no doubt about it. But I'll leave her with her insanity. She made her bed, let her lay in it.

As far as my son's mother, we get along where we have to. And that's good. We both try to keep a positive mindset and behavior when it comes to our son. The more I think of it, she's everything my ex wife wasn't. My ex was crazy, Petra's grounded. the ex is a drunk. Petra drinks rarely and very little. My ex thrived on negativity. Petra rejects it. You get the picture. I don't have to explain. As strange as it may sound, my son's mother has been a positive force in my life since I met her. Of course we had problems and dealt each other a load of sh!t, But she retained the good positive outlook, which is infectious. If we stay friends, that's okay with me.

 

[ubercat]

Mate good calls on both. I like where your head's at. Looking forward to your next workout thread post.

 

[Prime_Beef]

Bang her one last time. show her who daddy is and ghost her.

U do that, and don't play along to what she want, liable to be a fake rape, domestic violence charge, accidental pregnancy or an std she just had to share with you.

No contact. If you absolutely must, respond with "..interesting! Thank you for sharing, you got that off your chest. Wishing you luck, good bye.." never respond again. Never debate, dwell.

 

[Reykhel]

U do that, and don't play along to what she want, liable to be a fake rape, domestic violence charge, accidental pregnancy or an std she just had to share with you.

No contact. If you absolutely must, respond with "..interesting! Thank you for sharing, you got that off your chest. Wishing you luck, good bye.." never respond again. Never debate, dwell.

Agreed.

You're contemplating responding because you know that by searching her profile you have essentially sparked this off.....

You are responsible for this situation. You with your searching.

Prime beefs response would suffice perfectly if you choose to respond. Short and sweet and saying ADIOS at the end......(i.e. not encouraging more communication)

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Are you on drugs again! Of course you ignore it. This woman already knows your weaknesses. The fact that you are even thinking about responding shows she knows which buttons to push.

NO... DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THIS LETTER IN ANY WAY.

 

[Prime_Beef]

The ONLY reason to respond as u stated was to prevent her from showing up in announced ..if she were inclined that way. If you could not respond and never deal with her all the better.

Opposite of live isn't hate.. it's apathy. You should strive to be the most apathetic mother out there.

 

[jimjam]

Agreed.

You're contemplating responding because you know that by searching her profile you have essentially sparked this off.....

You are responsible for this situation. You with your searching.

Prime beefs response would suffice perfectly if you choose to respond. Short and sweet and saying ADIOS at the end......(i.e. not encouraging more communication)

Okay. I let my curiosity get the better of me. I wasn't searching for her. I happened to stumble across her name on linkedin and decided, oh, look at this. Why don't I take a look." I wasn't curious about her in any deeper sense or anything like that. Anyway, the long and short of it is that hell no! I'm not answering the letter. I don't owe her sh!t.Like I said, I never looked back once those papers were signed. I really don't care one way or another what happens to her. I wasted the best years of my life with her and even writing all of this is a waste of energy. I'm not on drugs. I've experienced some horrible and trying times these last ten years, but no matter how bad things may have been, I always reminded myself that at least I wasn't married to her.