Flirty vs Needy

[Nu Vision]

This girl I'm talking to texts me about her wanting to do lip injections. "Should I do lip injections? I want to so bad!", she says. I'm thinking she's seeking attention, expecting me to say something like she doesn't need injections (she doesn't, she has a very sensual set of lips). She's one of those girls that like to text a lot. I've been keeping texts to a minimum and invited her out but she's being flaky. She keeps pressing wanting a response about the injections. So I reply with this:

"You don't need them but sure go ahead if you want to. But first I'd like to kiss those lips before and then after the injections to compare how they feel."

She replies:

"Nope. Now that I think about it I won't do them. If I do, it's not going to be now."

"Jeez. You don't waste time."

My read is that this girl's interest level in me is not very high which explains her flakiness. The convo died down after this.

My question is how would you have replied to her text about getting injections. My text was meant to be playful and flirty. My gut says it came off a bit needy but not sure. Maybe it would have worked well if her interest level was higher. I'm inviting her out one more time (3rd time). If she flakes then I'll lose her number.

 

[DJT92]

I, being a very inexperienced and new DJ, would just ask "Why is that?". That would simply continue the conversation likely to a more opportunistic point (she obviously has something to say about it), without giving in to her attention seeking behavior (possibly making her crave your attention even more?)

At the very least you know you have the balls to come outright and say something sexual like that though, I would be hesitant myself (working on it). This fish didn't bite but others definitely would.

Some of the more experienced DJ's here might have some better advice to give

Good luck to you my man!

 

[fastlife]

I think the issue here isn't so much your text but her interest level. She's obviously fishing for a reaction. "If I do, it's not going to be now." LOL. I wouldn't have responded after that.

As far as your initial reply kissing comes across as a little innocent--read 'safe,' read 'inexperienced'--especially if you haven't projected any sexual vibes towards her yet. Plus you were a little bit too compliant and wishy washy. "You don't need them" would've worked on its own. Or "Go ahead if you want to." And either of those on their own would've come across as more decisive and ambiguous and less invested. She would've started replying to you.

Personally, I would've texted her: "I don't know. I'd have to try some things first" (pretending I wouldn't drop her for talking about it in the first place for being insecure and attention-seeking, i.e. I just really wanted to bang her). But work on your mindset and texting will take care of yourself; trying to imitate another guy's style won't get you very far.

 

[Nu Vision]

I, being a very inexperienced and new DJ, would just ask "Why is that?". That would simply continue the conversation likely to a more opportunistic point (she obviously has something to say about it), without giving in to her attention seeking behavior (possibly making her crave your attention even more?)

At the very least you know you have the balls to come outright and say something sexual like that though, I would be hesitant myself (working on it). This fish didn't bite but others definitely would.

Some of the more experienced DJ's here might have some better advice to give

Good luck to you my man!

Thanks man.

You know what ... I think that would have been a good reply. It would have given her the opportunity to open up about why she feels she needs them. But being that she likes to text so much and I was getting tired of her being flaky I decided to up the flirting and see where she stands. I think her reply tells me pretty much that she is not that interested.

 

[Nu Vision]

I think the issue here isn't so much your text but her interest level. She's obviously fishing for a reaction. "If I do, it's not going to be now." LOL. I wouldn't have responded after that.

As far as your initial reply kissing comes across as a little innocent--read 'safe,' read 'inexperienced'--especially if you haven't projected any sexual vibes towards her yet. Plus you were a little bit too compliant and wishy washy. "You don't need them" would've worked on its own. Or "Go ahead if you want to." And either of those on their own would've come across as more decisive and ambiguous and less invested. She would've started replying to you.

Personally, I would've texted her: "I don't know. I'd have to try some things first" (pretending I wouldn't drop her for talking about it in the first place for being insecure and attention-seeking, i.e. I just really wanted to bang her). But work on your mindset and texting will take care of yourself; trying to imitate another guy's style won't get you very far.

Yup. I think you are right. Have to learn how to flirt in a way that gets her thinking and a bit more mysterious. I like what you suggested. I got the sense (but maybe is just me) that she felt like my text was not smooth. Anyways, her interest level is low so I will let her go. Agree that imitating someone's style is not the way to go.

Thanks,

 

[RangerMIke]

Nothing wrong with what you said she just had low interest. But the difference between needy and flirty is that flirting is give and take... if she isn't flirting back then if you keep doing it then you come off as needy.

 

[Nu Vision]

Nothing wrong with what you said she just had low interest. But the difference between needy and flirty is that flirting is give and take... if she isn't flirting back then if you keep doing it then you come off as needy.

Got it. Makes sense.

She wasn't flirting back at all. I expected a response like "maybe ..." or "you'd like both" or even "no need to test. You'd like both."

I did a good job at changing the subject after I saw she wasn't flirting back so I wasn't needy here.

 

[FCB]

Why would you want to look like you came out on the wrong end of fist fight? Think its a good time to neg and make fun of her. Lip injections are ridiculous, asking you about lip injections is ridiculous, and it sounds like she's fishing for a compliment or for you to say something like you did and shoot you down, like she did in a round about way. Sounds very much like the girl is looking for an ego boost, so give her something different. Depending on what she texts back and how the convo go you can always end with something along the lines of "look I left my job as a plastic surgeon months ago, if you want my professional opinion I'll need to inspect them first hand, but I don't come cheap missy".

Text with a plan to **** like this, don't compliment and don't take the easy bait when its presented like that, flip it on its head and you can get your point across, but do it on your terms, not hers.

 

[sunnykhatri736]

You need to talk to girls with HIGH IL only because they flirts back and doesnt flakes on dates and will support you in escalating on date and will help u in whatever you do and it will increase ur confidence and boost your ego. So once u find her IL is low just drop and next her. Talk to girls with HIGH IL only.

 

[sunnykhatri736]

It was a **** test thrown by her at you. She was playing with u to get compliments and you failed at it by replying the way she wanted u to.
If i had been at ur place i would have said.
" haha so are u teasing me for compliments ? well your lips look nice but if u want to go for surgery then go and if u dont want to go for surgery then dont. They are ur lips so u have to decide about them not me or anyone else "
I would have replied this n then go ghost.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Yup. I think you are right. Have to learn how to flirt in a way that gets her thinking and a bit more mysterious. ,

bingo

from what ive learnt over the years women dont seem to respond well at all to direct sexual suggestions

its almost like if she knows you directly want her in a sexual way the game for her is over and her interest starts to dwindle

 

[Sprayarc]

bingo

from what ive learnt over the years women dont seem to respond well at all to direct sexual suggestions

its almost like if she knows you directly want her in a sexual way the game for her is over and her interest starts to dwindle

I think it's because if they were to respond to direct sexual suggestions, they'd feel they would be perceived as a slut. It has to be like "it just happened"

 

[SgtSplacker]

Not sure if this applies here but I've had girls ask me if they need some plastic surgery somewhere and it was a way for her to find out if I thought she was hot or not. Tell her she needs surgery and she gets offended and knows you don't think she's hot, tell her she looks good just like how she is and that's what she is looking for.

 

[Sprayarc]

Not sure if this applies here but I've had girls ask me if they need some plastic surgery somewhere and it was a way for her to find out if I thought she was hot or not. Tell her she needs surgery and she gets offended and knows you don't think she's hot, tell her she looks good just like how she is and that's what she is looking for.

So how'd you respond to the question and what was the result to your answer.

 

[NSX-R]

The best response would had been " do whatever you want ". Simple.

She's not your friend to discuss such things neither you want to become.
You fed her with the attention she was seeking , in other words you failed.

 

[SgtSplacker]

So how'd you respond to the question and what was the result to your answer.

You respond to things like that indirectly. The last thing you want to do is just tell her she looks perfect the way she is. If you are just getting to know her she doesn't need to be hearing too many compliments before she starts appreciating you first. So if she asks about injecting her lips just tell her you prefer a natural look, and that women are just perfect naturally. Maybe throw in there a "your lips look just fine" but that's as far as I would take the compliment. Telling her you want to kiss her lips just looks a little desperate to me.

 

[Bokanovsky]

No offence but your response was super corny. I would have responded with something like "yeah go ahead" if I had responded at all. Or I would have made fun of her by saying something like "Are you considering a career as a duck face model"? The last thing you want to do is try to give a serious answer to a stupid attention-wh0ring question or to compliment her by saying she does not need it.

 

[Nu Vision]

It was a **** test thrown by her at you. She was playing with u to get compliments and you failed at it by replying the way she wanted u to.
If i had been at ur place i would have said.
" haha so are u teasing me for compliments ? well your lips look nice but if u want to go for surgery then go and if u dont want to go for surgery then dont. They are ur lips so u have to decide about them not me or anyone else "
I would have replied this n then go ghost.

Our replies would have been similar then.

I said to her that her lips didn't need any work done from what I can tell but if she decided to do injections I wanted to taste those lips pre and post injections to compare.

I like this: 'haha so are u teasing me for compliments?" ... puts on her on the spot

 

[Nu Vision]

bingo

from what ive learnt over the years women dont seem to respond well at all to direct sexual suggestions

its almost like if she knows you directly want her in a sexual way the game for her is over and her interest starts to dwindle

Honestly, I've fail more than succeeded when I let a girl know by flirting or action that I want her sexually. But I do it because that's what is suggested in a lot of material I've read. Make your intentions know. Show her you are a sexual being, etc.

Preferably, letting her know you want her sexually happens in her presence by doing kino scalation but since this girl flaked on going on dates I tried to amp up sexual tension by flirting via text.

I know that texting should be reserved for setting dates only. But if you manage to get a nice text convo going with a girl were you sense there's some rapport and comfort being built should one abandon and end the convo or keep it going.

I'm reminded of another girl I went out with a few times. With her, texting seemed to work fine. We built a connection and she agreed to the date (s). In this case texting didn't negatively affect the outcome.

 

[Nu Vision]

The best response would had been " do whatever you want ". Simple.

She's not your friend to discuss such things neither you want to become.
You fed her with the attention she was seeking , in other words you failed.

So the lesson I've learned here is to save the sexual jokes or sexual talk for when we are actually on a date or better yet don't talk about it and just escalate physically at the right moment.