Zurgs Journal

[Zurg]

Hey guys! I'm going to start a little journal to keep track of what I might do better and to see if I'm making progress. I already have a journal on another website, but I prefer this site since it's more crowded. Well I´m Zurg and I´m 17 years old. It´s been years since I last kissed a girl and I´m still a virgin.

So here's my story: One year ago I was an enormous nerd that couldn't talk to any girl. Then I discovered the pick-up-community and I began improving myself. It didn't really work well for me because my so called "inner game" was ****ed up; my confidence was down to zero. Still, I improved little by little. Then I discovered RSD is actually pretty good; I didn't believe in RSD at first because Neil Strauss shot them down in The Game - FML. So when I have time I'm gonna read the "Don Juan Bible" and watch the Blueprint Decoded and I'm just gonna push my limits in real life.

And that's where I'm now. I have loads of friends at school but I can still be pretty unconfident in some situations (unless I am approached by others). Up untill now I've mostly been focussing on social interactions in general (making friends). But now that I'm pretty good at that I really want to focus on getting girls. There are a couple of girls I like who are willing to meet up with me. One of them is really hot. She just broke up with her boyfriend and she asked if I wanted to go out with her - **** yeah. I don't like clubs though :|
But, before I go out with her I'm gonna meet up with some other girls to gain experience.


So that's my life. Here are my current goals:
-Get better marks (my marks are just high enough to pass; if I get one bad mark it might be over)
-Watch the Blueprint Decoded
-Read the Don Juan Bible
-Meetup with some chick and gain experience
-Masturbate less and less up untill the point I masturbate once a month at most. My current record is two weeks :|
-Work out three times a week
-Learn more about Zen (I'm really interested in that haha and meditating helps me focus)
-Meditate each morning
-Enjoy each moment
-Becoming more of a sexual person

Even though my inner game is now around average and I have next to none experience, I do know a lot of theory so I'm gonna try to help people when I can.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I like it. You're going about this the right way.

Give examples of how you will go about taking risks and push your limits, use these yourself.

Talk about how you will go about achieving each goal. Having all of this laid out and specific in the beginning gives you a vision which will shape you for the long term.

 

[Zurg]

Allright lets set up some more specific goals then!


Main goal: Become better with chicks

Learn about new techniques and stuff:
Watch the Blueprint Decoded
Read the Don Juan Bible
Make a little schedual about when I'm gonna work out and read books and stuff

Gain Experience:
Approach a stranger at least once a day
Meetup with a chick at least once every two or three weeks (depending on how much homework I have)
Make at least one sexual comment in every interaction with a chick I like

Passive goals:
Don't masturbate for at least two weeks
Work out three times a week
Meditate each morning
Don't go too late to bed
Don't waste time too much time on bull**** like 9gag
Keep focussed on talking clearly, loud, slightly authorative and not too fast.
Ask myself from time to time if I'm enjoying myself. If I am: Keep doing that.
If I'm not: Start enjoying myself.

Get better marks
I will make it a habit of doing homework everyday immediately after I come home from school.
Make mindmaps and summaries of the things I have to learn

How will I push my limits?
I will say more "risky" things (sexual comments and stuff)
I will initiate more kino


Journal
Today was an awesome little day. I met up with some guy I once talked to at school. The plan was to run 20 kilometres, but we ended up going back at a quarter of the way because he was tired. Then we met up with another friend and made music.

On my way I tried initiating a conversation with some strangers. I said hi to the people at the bus stop, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I also greeted nearly everyone we saw while we were running but those didn't end up in conversations either. But finally, when I went home I had a nice conversation with the bus driver. But even though I greeted and made a comment, I felt like he was the one who started the real conversation by asking me questions as well.

I noticed that asking people personal stuff pushes the boundaries of the conversation. I used to think it was rude to ask personal stuff, but in the end, who cares? If someone don't wants to talk about something, they'll just tell me that so I have nothing to lose. I now notice that even though I'm naturally pretty interested in people, I held that interest back by trying to not ask personal stuff. So here is a little lesson I learned: Ask people anything you frickin' want.

 

[Justchill]

Well done! I'm impressed that you managed to set yourself such strong goals so early on. I find that quite hard IMO.

Im gonna check out that Don juan bible, it seems quite interesting.

Ask myself from time to time if I'm enjoying myself. If I am: Keep doing that.
If I'm not: Start enjoying myself.

Dude! you can just use the journal for this, thats the main reason I wanted one. It will help you keep living how you want to live

 

[Zurg]

Well done! I'm impressed that you managed to set yourself such strong goals so early on. I find that quite hard IMO.

Actually, I've been into this for quite a while haha. It's just that I recently decided to really go for it but most of those goals have been lingering in my head for quite some time now.

 

[Zurg]

This **** is harder than I thought! For some reason I totally lost all my confidence today. A little while later I had regained some of my confidence by talking to friends and having fun, so I went sitting with three girls. I showed some interest in them and had some fun, but I had a hard time just being myself. I thought of loads of stuff to say, but only a small part of it came out. With friends I can be a really cool guy, but I still find it hard to do with strangers. Still, I have made my approach and I'm glad I did that. I also started watching the Blueprint. Hurray! I'm pretty much hooked now and I can't wait 'till I'm gonna watch the next part.

 

[Zutt]

This **** is harder than I thought! For some reason I totally lost all my confidence today. A little while later I had regained some of my confidence by talking to friends and having fun, so I went sitting with three girls. I showed some interest in them and had some fun, but I had a hard time just being myself. I thought of loads of stuff to say, but only a small part of it came out. With friends I can be a really cool guy, but I still find it hard to do with strangers. Still, I have made my approach and I'm glad I did that. I also started watching the Blueprint. Hurray! I'm pretty much hooked now and I can't wait 'till I'm gonna watch the next part.

Good start!

It's all about experience, you maybe lost your confidence today but just clear your mind and go for it! If you mess up, go for it again. After some time you will realise that you are doing progress and the confidence and comfort will come to you.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Well I know how sometimes, it seems like you have no confidence at all, I conquered that problem by basing my confidence from the inside, instead of outter factors such as clothes, looks, lines etc. I based it in my ability to take ACTION consistently, regardless of whether I know what to do or not, that makes you trust your gut and sometimes even when you are low on confidence because that does happen from time to time, your gut takes over and its all on auto pilot.

 

[Zurg]

I love how supportive everyone is on this forum! And most of the advice actually is of really good quality!

So Nino-Tk, if I understand what you're saying, you mean that you just have to go for it, nonetheless of how ****ty you feel or if you don't know what to do. And then focus your confidence on that power to do so instead of outer factors.

 

[Nino-Tk]

Yeah bro, thing is, sometimes our ego plays games on us by making us think "ain't no way I am approaching her, I'm having a sh*tty day", then you just appease your ego but then you never win and that sucks because now you end up relying on "states" just to approach and do whatever you want.

About not knowing what to do or say, just go in, and if you fail, fail spectacularly, learn from it and then keep on failing here and there until those failures turn into experience...little by little, build your house, brick by brick, it may not seem like much but wait till you have about 6 pages in this journal, read it over and you'll realize how much you've grown, easy does it, don't force nothing.

 

[Zurg]

Hohoho, the Blueprint Decoded is truly exquisitly amazing! I'm already THIS much more confident, and I'm just at part four.

Sometimes I forget to do my daily approach, like today. So I just approached this old fool in a shop. Perhaps I'm gonna buy a new guitar I saw there. 65€!! It looks pretty good, I'm gonna check it out tommorow by taking my amp there!

 

[Zurg]

Yesterday was AWESOME!! Every year at the last day of april, everyone is allowed to sell stuff on the streets. I sold two guitars and a bunch of stuff a friend brought. Selling stuff is loads of fun! You have conversations with everyone and you just try to convince them to buy your stuff, making good deals. In the end we had about 20 books left, so we just gave them away for free to random people on the street lol. After we were done I wanted to go to this chick, so I called her but apparently her number has changed because it said the number wasn't in use anymore :|
I'm gonna chat with her online to get her new number.

Oh and the blueprint is getting better and better!

 

[Zurg]

I'ma reflect on my goals:


Learn about new techniques and stuff:
Watch the Blueprint Decoded; yup doing this and it's awesome
Read the Don Juan Bible; gonna do this after I finish the Blueprint
Make a little schedual about when I'm gonna work out and read books and stuff; I've still gotta do this. Gonna do it ASAP.

Gain Experience:
Approach a stranger at least once a day; I mostly did this almost every day. It's awesome
Meetup with a chick at least once every two or three weeks (depending on how much homework I have); Didn't do this yet (see journal)
Make at least one sexual comment in every interaction with a chick I like; I haven't had an interaction with a chick I like since I started this journal lol

Passive goals:
Don't masturbate for at least two weeks; meh I keep masturbating, gotta work on this
Work out three times a week; yeah doing this and it feels good
Meditate each morning; I only want to meditate in the early morning and most of the time I cant bring myself to wake up early lol. gotta work on that as well.
Don't go too late to bed; I do this a lot unless I see something interesting online or something which makes me stay up for a couple of hours more haha, which happens too much btw
Don't waste time too much time on bull**** like 9gag; I really dont want to waste time on stupit **** like 9gag but sometimes I just can't help myself because of low dopamine levels? (see journal)
Keep focussed on talking clearly, loud, slightly authorative and not too fast; this happens automatically if I'm feeling good. So instead of doing this I'ma just gonna work on my inner game
Ask myself from time to time if I'm enjoying myself. If I am: Keep doing that. If I'm not: Start enjoying myself; yeah I'm enjoying myself quite a lot. this comes automatically as well I guess. it's not something you just do, it more like a state of mind, something you are.

Get better marks
I will make it a habit of doing homework everyday immediately after I come home from school.
Make mindmaps and summaries of the things I have to learn
yeah yeah school **** is working out

How will I push my limits?
I will say more "risky" things (sexual comments and stuff); lol haven't met a nice chick yet
I will initiate more kino; the same as above


Journal
I have holidays. It's awesome but kinda boring as well. All my friends are gone or are studying all the time. I contacted a chick, but she didn't want to meet up with me, meh. She probably still sees me as the person I was a year ago, since that's the last time we met up. I'll probably meet her again someday soon.

In other news, I found out about something awesome called dopamine. It's a chemical in our brains which determines our happiness or something like that. More importantly, it determines how motivated we are to do certain tasks (like homework). You can get more dopamine by doing physically intensive activities, like running and by eating fruits and by eating less sugars and bad fats. Oh and by being in sunlight.

I decided to try it out; I ate a banana and did the most intensive training ever and it's AWESOME! I feel pretty active now (and able to learn haha), instead of sitting passively around the house like I did the last couple of days. I literally felt like sitting behind my pc all day long and doing 9gag or something. Now I'm like, mah mah mah that's such bull****. So here's a tip you guys, work out in the morning do your dopamine levels will be high all day long.

Other things that help are meditating and cold showers (thanks NorwegianDJ)

 

[NorwegianDJ]

The DJ Bible is such a joke after the blueprint tbh, but it's still a really good read.

Dopamine isn't responsible for you staying up late. It's rather in our evolutionary desire to remain in whatever state we are in.

Increase fructose and limit sugar and 'bad' (assuming saturated, which cant be considered bad really) fats for higher dopamine levels? Doesn't sound fairly accurate. Dopamine makes you addicted too, hence food addiction. Possibly you were given this advice cause fructose doesnt enter the blood stream like sugar.
Personally I don't look at the biological perspective of that, as it doesnt make fully sense to me. Dopamine levels deplete, which makes it biologically impossible to remain in 'state' for days at a time or to always be happy. I believe this has been disproven and I don't really believe that there are equal amounts of ups and downs.

 

[Zurg]

The DJ Bible is such a joke after the blueprint tbh, but it's still a really good read.

Yeah I'm still gonna check it out!

Dopamine isn't responsible for you staying up late. It's rather in our evolutionary desire to remain in whatever state we are in.

I never said dopamine was responsible for me staying up late lol.

Increase fructose and limit sugar and 'bad' (assuming saturated, which cant be considered bad really) fats for higher dopamine levels? Doesn't sound fairly accurate.

No, I never said to increase fructose :|. Fructose is actually far worse than sugar. And yeah, I got this information from some website and it might not be entirely correct since another website said sugars actually increase dopamine and thats why people like it so much. Nevertheless I'm not fond of sugars; whether they increase or lower dopamine levels. We already get way too much of that ****. The average person today consumes a thousand times the ammount of suger every year a person two hunderd years ago would consume in his entire life.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

No, I never said to increase fructose :|. Fructose is actually far worse than sugar. And yeah, I got this information from some website and it might not be entirely correct since another website said sugars actually increase dopamine and thats why people like it so much. Nevertheless I'm not fond of sugars; whether they increase or lower dopamine levels. We already get way too much of that ****. The average person today consumes a thousand times the ammount of suger every year a person two hunderd years ago would consume in his entire life.

Fruit = fructose. It's fruit sugar.
People 200 years ago and and even more so in hunter gatherer era had a lot of fructose, considering how much fruits and berries they ate. However, I agree that it should be limited and only used 'strategically' if possible, for example consuming 500 mL orange juice before a huge meal in order to spike insulin and preventing fat gain. Not a permanent solution of course.

 

[Zurg]

Hmm, I see. Well, I guess eating fruits is okay if you don't consume too much other stuff with fructose in it. Manufacturers use it for everything these days (High-Fructose Corn Syrup) to substitute sugar because it's a lot cheaper.

Anyway, I'm not sure why fruits increase dopamine. I got that from a website lol

 

[Zurg]

Pink Floyd's Money was released as a single in the US today in 1973.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_ofFa50LzY

Holy cow! I have approach anxiety or something. I'm going to a great music school to get piano lessons. Every once in a while I spot a pretty hot chick there, but when I went there today I saw three. I just let the first two pass but when I saw the third one I knew I had to approach her. I was actually pretty nervous about it and I couldn't think of anything to say. And before I knew it, she was gone. After that I realised I really got to work on this. It seems to be really different for me with chicks (especially the hot ones). Earlier today I approached a pretty large group with just guys to play soccer, no problem.

I guess I just have to force myself to approach chicks. The problem is I almost never see chicks I like. At school there's only a couple of chicks I don't even really like, with whom I already blew it. The Blueprint definately helps though. I'm only at part 7 so it'll probably give me a lot more to work with as well.

Oh, I also signed up for a summer job. It's in a HUGE building filled with people my age, so that's probably gonna be fun. There'll probably be nice chicks there. Friday is my application. I hope I get the job.

 

[Zurg]

Well, there isn't happening much here. I notice I'm becoming more self-centered and less reactive, so that's a good thing. Wow, it's been really hard wired into my brain to be a reactive person by default. It's gonna take some time to get rid of that, but there's definately something going on in that head of mine and it's so ****ing worth it.

I'm also more able to make friends. The funny thing is, I've always been pretty good socially, I just didn't use my abilities because of mental limitations. The Blueprint Decoded is definately one of the best things that happened in my life. I'm off to bed now. I can because I'm so much more disciplined since I started meditating again. It's so awesome! I'm gonna try again to stop masturbating for a while.

Oh, I also made a schedual when to do everything! Even though I meditate, I find it pretty hard to follow that schedual so there's something to work on as well. I might review my goals tomorrow. Goodnight

Oh, and I definately have to push myself to meet more chicks.

 

[Zurg]

Well, I don't update this ****, because there is absolutely NOTHING going on! I have to do loads of homework because they want to let me redo this schoolyear. I do feel that I've grown though, and not just a bit. I used to think people didn't talk to me because they didn't like me or didn't want to talk to me and stuff and I'd just not talk to them too and it would cause a lot of strange situations. Now, however, I think they didn't talk to me because I didn't talk to them them. When I did talk to people I never tried to push the boundaries of the conversation. I never tried implementing humour or anything but just waited for others to be humorous first.

After I watched half the blueprint (still haven't finished it :|), I started being more and more myself when talking to anyone! When I now want to say something I think is funny, I just say it, regardless of what the other person might think. And damn, I'm noticing such a difference. Girls are so much more responsive to me now.

I still haven't fixed a date yet though. That's mostly because I just don't like the girls at school. They're all so terribly young or weird or just plainly not my taste. I want to meet more girls though. I noticed I can achieve this goal by just being more interested in other persons and showing curiousity.

Speaking of goals, I have a new philosophy on them. I think the best thing you can do to achieve goals is to just take one goal at a time instead of trying to do all the goals on a list at the same time. This is far more efficient and it's easier. I got that concept from Zen. I've been studying some Zen in my rare lapses of spare time. Zen is awesome! It definately helps with everything in my life. It even helps me with my homework, a lot!

I should go out again, but this time with my newly found confidence. Heck, perhaps I'll even enjoy it. There has been a massive school party and I missed it because I usually don't enjoy going out. Yet all in all it's been a good two months. So the downside of not updating my journal for a couple of months and having a really personal post is that everyone's impression of you is that you're ready to go out at any given moment. Which isn't necessarily true - life is great, thanks for asking!