Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Your Pinnacle of Sex, Love and Happiness.

Galactus

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True insight is usually misunderstood.

I don't know dbot, but I've read a few of his posts, and I find them to be very believable. I think some men let their egos and self-doubt get in the way. When someone says he is doing exactly the thing they wish they were doing, they respond by telling him he's full of sh1t!

This is how people fail. Have you ever read a self-help book, and you got to a paragraph or chapter that you just didn't believe, or it explained a technique you didn't feel comfortable with? Happens to me all the time. But quite often I really liked the book and found it useful overall.

I don't disregard all the advice, I just use what works for me. Do the same with everything. This is called having a mind of your own. I'm going to make an honest attempt at what doing what dbot is saying. I feel that, as a person who believes he deserves the best in life, I can't afford to sit on my a$$ and continue on with the mind-set that is not leading to the happiness I want.

I have tried to be unconditionally loving before but it didn't work. But I think the reason is because I have a habit of being needy. Dbot didn't add "Don't be needy", but how could he? He doesn't know all of our specific hurdles we have to face.

What I have to do is go out there and do it again, but this time, take the neediness out of it. I think it would be easy to appear needy, telling women how beautiful they are. Women don't like needy. This is why a lot of PUAs tell you not to say these things to women. All the needy guys are doing that. You should be different.

I'm in a play right now, struggling with the line, "Where do you think you're going?" My character is a shady kind of guy, so I have to make sure I say it in a way that conveys that to the audience. The only way to do that successfully is to allow myself to become the character (at least for the duration I'm on stage).

This isn't "It's not what you say, it's how you say it", it's about becoming the type of person that can say this stuff and not come off as a chump, but actually the opposite.

I'm going to start this today. When I hit a roadblock, I'm going to go around, or through. I'm going to adjust. But I won't turn around. This is how you get to the finish line.
 

zekko

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I love this post and I'll tell you why:
This man has no game, and he doesn’t need any. I used to watch in amazement as he would straight up tell girls that they’re “****ing beautiful,” and they would completely melt.
This seems to be the exact OPPOSITE of what they tell you on this forum, and in most seduction circles. They tell you every other guy is going up to hot girls telling them they're beautiful, and that they won't stand out that way, and the girls won't appreciate it because they hear it all the time.
Telling her how pretty she is the exact opposite of negging her, it's raising her value.

But I've always thought there was something to this "I love you because you love me" idea. Again, this is the exact opposite of being indifferent, being a challenge, and making her work for you, which is always being advised on this forum. But I've seen guys who give their affection freely to girls and tell them how beautiful they think they are, and it works for them.

Most of the pick-up artists you read about are nothing but negotiators. They do everything in their power to protect their own hearts, all while convincing the women to expose theirs.
I definitely think this is true. Sometimes it seems the pickup guys are so worried about getting hurt it almost comes across as cowardly. They build huge walls to make sure nothing gets to their heart and to make sure they never develop any feelings.

This isn't "It's not what you say, it's how you say it", it's about becoming the type of person that can say this stuff and not come off as a chump, but actually the opposite.
This is the whole trick to this kind of approach. You can't come across as needy and you have to come from a place of abundance. You have to come across as a guy with options, and your compliments will have power.
The fact that you feel affection for them makes them feel affection, but you can't be desperate and you can't want too much too fast or you will lose out.
 

Galactus

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I don't want to be redundant, but I want to expand on this a bit.

Do you think a woman would think George Clooney is some kind of chump if he told a woman she was beautiful? Of course not. So it isn't the compliments that make a woman reject a guy. Yes, Clooney has celebrity status going for him, but take that away, and he's still got the looks, the swagger, the style and the attitude. He carries himself like a power player, and it's congruent with his mindset.

I have successfully seduced beautiful women, and I have told them how beautiful I thought they were. But I didn't act like I was drowning and they were a life preserver. I was trying out all kinds of techniques during that time, like neg-hitting, kino, NLP, speed seduction, mirroring and so on. A lot of it yielded results, but the pivotal factor was my state of mind, how I felt about myself. I had no fear of rejection, and when I got rejected, I'd say "Thanks for your time," and move on. It didn't matter because my self-worth wasn't dependent on what some random woman thought of me.

It's weird that I can sit here and say this now, because that's not where my mind is these days. Something has changed in my attitude, and I'm not having the level of success I once did. I've gotten more needy, and only recently realized this. Luckily I've taken steps to get back to where I once was, and I really think I'll be there again soon.

One of the things I've done is started focusing more on how I'm acting and reacting, and I'm trying to stop the negative inner voice and love life again. If you cultivate that feeling of abundance by appreciating what you have instead of what you don't, and what you could gain instead of what you could lose, then there's nothing wrong with paying a compliment. She'll be able to see it's not desperation.
 

HariPoter13

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Galactus said:
It's weird that I can sit here and say this now, because that's not where my mind is these days. Something has changed in my attitude, and I'm not having the level of success I once did. I've gotten more needy, and only recently realized this. Luckily I've taken steps to get back to where I once was, and I really think I'll be there again soon.
I believe this has nothing to do with girls but rather with other areas of your life. Your life is not as sorted as it used to be and this translates to how you handle girls.

Keep working on yourself & your life every moment you breathe and the girls will follow. :up:
 

yuppaz

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Have noticed that for myself, it really is self fulfillment and inner contentedness that makes life worth living and makes women really want you. I've read that they get their happiness / sense of worth from without, where men create it from within. That's why neediness & insecurity is so unattractive to women, because they are needy enough already and need someone who is over flowing with life energy and have enough to give to them. DBOT and Johnny S are both overflowing with life energy, they are givers (aka value givers in PUA terms) and it makes them able to connect with others because they are not simply taking in the interaction. I'm personally trying this (focusing on connection) currently and so far so good.
 

Ease

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Why is this stupid ass thread still floating?

I think dbot needs to go suck off his lover john and stop talking nonsense.

This is a prime example of a moron who knows nothing, but due to temporary success in his life, thinks he has it figured out.

Never read such vague, waffle bs in a while.
 

itishe

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Look at Steven Adler, the former drummer for Guns N' Roses.

If you read Slash's book you begin to see that Steven had an easy time attracting woman since he was a young teen. If you watch Steven in interviews, or just footage of him you can see he is just having a great time. He's smiling, laughing, telling jokes, and impossible to make him uncomfortable.

He trusts everyone, loves everyone, and is just fun. Even if he wasn't famous I guarantee he could still get what he wanted based on who he is.
 

zekko

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itishe said:
Look at Steven Adler, the former drummer for Guns N' Roses.

If you read Slash's book you begin to see that Steven had an easy time attracting woman since he was a young teen. If you watch Steven in interviews, or just footage of him you can see he is just having a great time. He's smiling, laughing, telling jokes, and impossible to make him uncomfortable.

He trusts everyone, loves everyone, and is just fun. Even if he wasn't famous I guarantee he could still get what he wanted based on who he is.
Steven Adler? I've seen him on TV shows like Celebrity Rehab, he's always whining, grumpy, irritable, b!tching at the other patients, quarreling with the staff. He can't even talk right.

Maybe this is just the effect of the drugs he's taken, and maybe things were going better for him while Guns N' Roses was flying high.
 

moneyisking

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I agree with Maxtro. I read this thread and thought... "wow! how great and insightful!? I must be like this, caring about people, loving people unconditionally, having genuine intere...... wait wait wait, this is not going to work because I don't give a FVCK about people!!!? How am i supposed to make myself love people genuinely and truly appreciate them while I subconsciously think that bytches are stupid and people in general bores the sh!t out of my mind and just people in general fvcking annoy me. People only think to themselves, i believe, and i have absolutely no feeling about them. I mean if some friend that I saw a lot at the gym who i used to do high fives and talk marrily about football and bs, suddenly dies a horrible death by pack of alpacas, would that affect my life? the answer is no. I have lots of friends, but thats it. I don't even care about them. So how are guys like me supposed to apply this in life? it's bullshyt! of course i know some hippy guys who try to embrace that universe chi and happiness energy bs, and as absurd they look like, i guess enough intake of pot keeps them thinking that way, so good for them; but this advice def can't work on people like me, b/c in general i would give rat's a$$ if bunch of kids in Ufoville got incinerated by Martians.
 

Serpicoo

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I love this post. I was actually doing this a bit yesterday and today and it kind of hurt a bit. Today it felt even better than yesterday. I also noticed I was smoother and more confident when I was loving. I believe that all it takes is practise. When you are walking about, just try loving the people you see.

I also have used "focusing on positive things" to raise my mood and as you may expect I got close to the feeling of love and actually felt love on some occasions.

The basic premise is. You feel a good thought for at least 17 seconds and your vibration/mood/state will rise. The thought can be apreciation for your xbox, car, gf or about something you want in the future. As long as it feels good. Once you reach the 17 second point you should feel the good feeling expand or get stronger. This means you have now raised your mood slightly. The higher you raise your mood the more in touch you become with your best self/higher being. You feel better and are more confident and your reality actually becomes better. You can practise this and your mood will get higher over time and you get closer to a really high state which is called "the vortex".

I first got into the vortex when stretching, I felt this great delicious feeling and I felt like I was complete and didn't want anything. A few weeks later I was playing Gears of War 3 and I felt a lot of appreciation for it and I would occasionily go into the vortex. Here is what I wrote while in that state in that moment and later on:

-Strong masculine place, centered. Like a warm zen master.
-Voice is louder and I enjoy the words
-no enemies, warmly see everyone
-body is relaxed and warm, like when you are in state
-No tension in the body. Walking is SUPER SMOOTH.
-can feel energy around your body, even cleansing certain areas.
-movements seem more instantaneous, confident and assured
-visualisation feels very, very effective and easy. Like you are actually affecting the future. I feel like the stuff I'm looking at is old news and will be soon replaced by even better stuff.
-Girls will check you out, this is an understatement
-You feel the feeling of love
-Girls react well, they appear attracted
-You feel very entitled and deserving
-Easier to slip into a sexual state and get boners around girls
-This is crazy, when you look at a really hot girl on the internet, you enjoy the image and there is no feeling of "damn I can't have her". You feel like you can have her and and that you deserve her.
-You feel like you will pass all her tests extremely well


So when I did what Dbot mentioned I felt similar things. So tomorrow I'm going to do more loving when I walk about.
 

Viagra4Soul

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I like this philosophy - it's pretty much how I've been for my 25+ years of dating. Out of your own inner happiness, and how that makes you open, and how you then treat people because you are open and happy and a loving person, means you get lots of good looking, happy tail, and they want to stay around.

You still need to keep yourself interesting and challenging - everyone gets bored with the same old same old - that's human nature. So you need more than JUST happiness and love. That's what POOK, and this site, are useful for.

I love a BANKSY drawing he did a few years back that comments on this beautifully:

Whenever you see a pretty girl in the street.
A girl who is totally out of your league, a girl who is so pretty she doesn't give you a second look,
Its important to remember that no matter how good looking she is.
Somebody somewhere is probably really ****ing bored of having sex with her.


BANKSY
 

iwanttofight

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wow Love everybody, that is one hard thing to do especially when I used to say all the time "some people just live because it's against the law to kill them"
 

BigSmooth

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This is a very good post, and I commend dbot.

In my opinion, this is how you should live life. Being a pick-up artist has no lasting affect on anyone's life. When you die, who are you? Just a guy with a cold, shielded heart who banged a ton of girls who can't even remember your name, or where you're from, or what your interests are.

Basically, shielding yourself from the world and all that it offers entails you to a life of insignificance.


When you do not extend love to people, you expect the same in return. And when you die, who's going to attend your funeral? The girls you picked up at a bar when you were a desperate 30 year old?


Live life loving people. People helping people is a beautiful thing. If you want your life to actually mean something, open your heart out.


Now some people are responding, "I hate everyone on this planet/I'm self-absorbed/people annoy me/I'm lonely/I don't give a **** about anyone else".

Ask yourself, when did you stop loving? What happened to make you this way? What are you doing wrong? For instance, trying to find the love of your life at a sleazy bar is obviously the wrong setting.



I've had friends who have worked at Goldman Sachs during the time they screwed the economy. It's a capitalist economy so I understand people's greed, but where's the morals? Where is anyone's morals nowadays?


I agree that if you witness your brother or a family member being shot cold-blooded in front of you on the street by a random stranger, it is very hard for you to keep on loving this life. However, you have to think that if someone had loved that guy, something like this would not have happened. There's just not enough love going around in this society where everyone gives a $hit only about themselves, but you're not impacting anyone, and a life without impact isn't a life at all.


This planet is a mere speck of dust in a galaxy which is merely a blip in the universe. Life goes on infinitely. Your life comes and goes in a second for this universe. Do you want to waste those precious moments not giving two $hits about anyone? Or do you want to live genuinely with love? Because my friends, frankly that's how you are remembered.



Now, you might say that this is all good and all, but this ain't a philosophy forum and we're here to bang and fvck girls.

Well I'm not telling you to keel over and become an AFC *****. Just because you start extending your love to people does not make you a woman.




Be a man. Be confident. Be exciting. Be spontaneous. Be funny. Be adventurous. Be mysterious. Be teasing. Be strong. Be a fighter. Be a lover. Be all you can be.


I admit that I am fairly good with the ladies, via methods on here or just being myself.

But when I started reaching out, actually truly caring for everyone, life just got better in every possible way.

I tease women all the time. I give them $hit, I'm playful with them.But when it comes down to it, I care about my friends, whether they are guys or girls. When I'm with women, I project this flirty presence, but they know that I'm not just a toolbag who doesn't give a damn about them. I give them my attention while being my confident self not expecting anything in return, and that eliminates me from being the needy nice AFC guy they are used to dealing with.

Stop being an emotionless statue with a black hole for a heart. Start loving. Start caring.


And one more thing. There is a difference between a too nice-AFC guy, and a man who loves life and cares for the people who are in his life, and even the people he just meets.
 

Viagra4Soul

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BigSmooth said:
This is a very good post, and I commend dbot.

In my opinion, this is how you should live life. <large SNIP>.....

And one more thing. There is a difference between a too nice-AFC guy, and a man who loves life and cares for the people who are in his life, and even the people he just meets.
Are you SURE you're only 18?

Applause son - well said.
 

BigSmooth

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Viagra4Soul said:
Are you SURE you're only 18?

Applause son - well said.
Haha yeah, last time I checked. I've just had the benefit of reading a lot of mind changing books, meeting a lot of influential people who express this lifestyle, and being on a few soul searching trips.

Of course I've still got much to learn but I guess that's why we're all here right? :)
 
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