Your girlfriend sleeping in a guy's bed

[Effington]

Hey guys,

Would you be mad if you found out your girlfriend slept in bed with a guy--even though they didn't have sex? Also, would it make a difference if it was a guy you were friends with or not?

She will tell you the reason is because she was too drunk to drive home, and there were no other suitable sleeping arrangements.

 

[DJDamage]

Depends upon the quality of her overall character.

If know for a fact that this chick hasn't lied to me in the past and her behaviour and interest towards me have not been deteriorated over time, then I will take her word for it and chalk it up to one bad judgment call and it better not happen again.

However if she the type that you don't really trust (due to her past actions), the type that has questionable behaviour or interests in you and the type that has a history of bad judgement/drama (or is now starting to act this way and there is more to come) then I will get mad and probably end up dumping her.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Thats the MOST bs ive ever heard. She could have slept on the couch or with a gril but it happened to be a dude. Hell she should have slept on the floor. If you slept in a bed with another girl your girl would be pissed. I would be pretty pissed if my girl did that, but she kows that doesnt fly so it wont happen.

 

[Nutz]

Thats the MOST bs ive ever heard. She could have slept on the couch or with a gril but it happened to be a dude. Hell she should have slept on the floor. If you slept in a bed with another girl your girl would be pissed. I would be pretty pissed if my girl did that, but she kows that doesnt fly so it wont happen.

Agreed. It's complete and utter bullsh!t. It's just chick logic in action, nothing more.

Sounds to me like someone needs to keep the pimp hand strong. If you tolerate bad behavior and don't respect yourself enough to put your foot down, then don't be surprised when your gf or wife doesn't respect you and starts sleeping with other people.

 

[IPalindromeI]

I don't know that being mad will do anything at this point, nor would questioning it. I would simply dump her, and cut this guy loose. No questions asked. She'll know why and so will he. Trust me on this one. No one of the opposite sex shares a bed with someone like that unless one or both want to f*ck on some level or other.

And no guy sleeps in a bed with his friend's girl if he is really his friend.

You'll get the 'it was a mistake', 'I was so drunk', 'nothing happened' - and you know what? It won't change one simple fact:

They could have easily NOT slept in the same bed together, yet they chose to. No suitable sleeping arrangements? No couch? No extra room? No floor?

No amount of alcohol will make two people share a bed who know they shouldn't and don't want to - but put enough alcohol into two people - one or both of which wants to f*ck the other on some level or other - then it is sure to happen.

Occam's razor - the surest thing every time.

Once this sort of thing happens, it is the beginning of the long slow goodbye. You can end the relationship on your terms quickly and as painlessly as possible, or you can hold on and continue to have the life sucked out of you with more of these types of "oopsie" moments.

 

[loving]

man just cause she didnt have sex with him doesnt mean thats all...

ask her if anything at all went down, look for honesty in her eyes/body language, beyond that follow your gut, can you trust her for confessing something to you, then being congruent with it after, or showing signs of lying after?

 

[AAAgent]

i heard that story 3 times. girl slept in guys bed and didn't have sex. just slept or some other excuse. they all slept with them.

BS.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Hey guys,

Would you be mad if you found out your girlfriend slept in bed with a guy--even though they didn't have sex? Also, would it make a difference if it was a guy you were friends with or not?

She will tell you the reason is because she was too drunk to drive home, and there were no other suitable sleeping arrangements.

1. Why would your woman be out by herself?

2. Why wouldn't someone call YOU if she was too drunk?

3. Why would your mate even climb into bed with YOUR woman and not drop her off at YOUR place?

4. What kind of friends do you have?

5. More importantly what kind of woman do you have?

6. Most importantly what kind of MAN are you to let this happen?????????????

 

[slaog]

Would you be mad if you found out your girlfriend slept in bed with a guy--even though they didn't have sex?

Would I be mad, yes and very very disappointed. I'd then tell her it's over.


She should know anyway that it's unacceptable. Drink is no excuse either. If she's using that as an excuse then all she has to do is get drunk, do what she wants and blame it on the drink.

 

[Nutz]

Just watch. In a couple days or maybe a few weeks the OP is going to post about how his gf cheated on him.

I also suggest giving this a read. I found this to be an interesting insight into the mind of a woman that cheats. It speaks directly to how emotions and the desire for drama can override logic:

http://www.werethrough.com/profiles/blogs/how-i-stopped-cheating

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I will disagree with alot of you right now. Though I will agree...

That story is 99.9 percent bullsh!t. But, I will tell you guys this. I have been to a couple partys where a girl would come over by herself without her boyfriend for whatever reason. I have actually seen girls with boyfriends pass out with some dude together.

They didn't have sex. Might of been because they were good friends I dont know. So, it could be the truth.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

Its because chicks have the desire to fokin bond with EVERYONE. they really do believe that they have this innocent, platonic, brother sister relationship with their guy friends.

Of course this is denial of the obvious facts. 1. he's not your brother 2. you could have sex with him if you wanted, and he probably wouldn't say no.

Girls don't understand that guy girl friendships only work if BOTH sides keep strict barriers up at ALL times.

The only way a relationship can survive is if both participants are active in avoiding cheating. Because opportunities for cheating are easy to walk into, maintaining a relationship takes work from both sides. Being faithful is not the easy choice, cheating is.

 

[slaog]

Girls don't understand that guy girl friendships only work if BOTH sides keep strict barriers up at ALL times.

And it's up to the guys to set the boundaries if the girls don't know.

 

[Drewskie]

Just watch. In a couple days or maybe a few weeks the OP is going to post about how his gf cheated on him.

I also suggest giving this a read. I found this to be an interesting insight into the mind of a woman that cheats. It speaks directly to how emotions and the desire for drama can override logic:

http://www.werethrough.com/profiles/blogs/how-i-stopped-cheating

!!!! Just sleeping eh? The reasons she told you this, is to alleviate a little bit of the guilt, trying to make herself feel a little better. Unless it was your brother, or you know HIS boyfriend, they fukt. Sorry.

 

[Effington]

Hey guys,

A lot of interesting comments. Just to slightly flip the script, I wasn't writing this about my girlfriend. In fact, I don't have a girlfriend currently. My closest friends are girls, though, and on different ocassions all of them have slept over in my bed. I know, and am friends with, all their boyfriends, and I wouldn't mess that up.

I have a nice condo in the middle of the party district, so my place is very often the meeting spot, and afterhours party. However, as the saying goes, location location location...I could only afford a studio, and thus have no room for a couch, or any other adequate sleeping arrangements. Yes, they can sleep on the hard wood floor if they wanted to, but come on. I kinda felt as though one of them may have wanted to do something, but I had my barriers up, and besides, I could have been wrong...alcohol impairs judgement. In all cases, they stayed over because I drank too much to drive them home, and sending a girl off by herself at 3:00am in the party district is not exactly a safe move. The boyfriends were either out of town or just not answering their phone; hell, it's 3:00am.

I was just thinking about how I'd feel if I were in the guy's shoes. I find it interesting that more than a couple of you would say to dump her for doing what she did, when in reality there was no wrong done.

 

[DonJuan11]

Hey guys,

A lot of interesting comments. Just to slightly flip the script, I wasn't writing this about my girlfriend. In fact, I don't have a girlfriend currently. My closest friends are girls, though, and on different ocassions all of them have slept over in my bed. I know, and am friends with, all their boyfriends, and I wouldn't mess that up.

Are you crazy? Why on earth would you let your friend's girlfriend sleep in the same bed as you? Do you want an a$$ kicking or are you just plain dumb? You tell her "Sorry, I don't think it would be appropriate for us to sleep in the same bed since you are my best friend's girlfriend."


I have a nice condo in the middle of the party district, so my place is very often the meeting spot, and afterhours party. However, as the saying goes, location location location...I could only afford a studio, and thus have no room for a couch, or any other adequate sleeping arrangements. Yes, they can sleep on the hard wood floor if they wanted to, but come on. I kinda felt as though one of them may have wanted to do something, but I had my barriers up, and besides, I could have been wrong...alcohol impairs judgement. In all cases, they stayed over because I drank too much to drive them home, and sending a girl off by herself at 3:00am in the party district is not exactly a safe move. The boyfriends were either out of town or just not answering their phone; hell, it's 3:00am.

You could:

1) Make the sleeping arrangements beforehand
2) Not drink so much
3) Have her not drink so much
4) Have a friend pick her up
5) Have a taxi pick her up
6) etc


I was just thinking about how I'd feel if I were in the guy's shoes. I find it interesting that more than a couple of you would say to dump her for doing what she did, when in reality there was no wrong done.

If I found out my girlfriend stayed in the same bed as my buddy, I would scream at her and then dump her ass, then yell at my buddy for his lack of moral character and judgment, and not talk to him again.

I shouldn't flame you too bad though, these girls are putting themselves in that position too, and they are just as irresponsible.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't want to be your friend.

 

[ketostix]

My closest friends are girls, though, and on different ocassions all of them have slept over in my bed. I know, and am friends with, all their boyfriends, and I wouldn't mess that up.

In all cases, they stayed over because I drank too much to drive them home, and sending a girl off by herself at 3:00am in the party district is not exactly a safe move. The boyfriends were either out of town or just not answering their phone; hell, it's 3:00am.

What none of you ever heard of a cab? And most girls always have someone even if not their BF they can call to pick them up even at 3 AM. Anyway, it seems kind of unlikely nothing is going on, but it's still a situation that is fraught with the likelihood, temptation and opportunity that something would happen. That alone makes it improper for the girl and you to do. I just think you are doing your guy friends a diservice, but heck if you really do just keep it to sleeping maybe not.

 

[horaholic]

Why do you have so many chick 'friends?" Do you get laid much? Obviously you dont have a girlfriend, or she would be getting pissed about the situation.

Dont any single girls ever need a place to crash?

I know if a dude was ok with his chick sleeping in my bed, I would take it as a MAJOR insult, in an 'ugly, and no-game loser' sort of way. Without knowing much about you, I can only assume that you need some 'man work.' Your closest friends are women, for one thing. For another thing, they dont see you as any sort of sexual threat, or they wouldnt sleep next to you. This is a only a blind assumption I am making here, so take no offense if I am wrong.

Whether its innocent or not, its not ok, as it can cause SERIOUS drama. Do you think you could convince your girlfriend, everything was innocent, if you had one? HELL NO! What if your girlfriend was sleeping in your buddies bed? Think about it. 26 is a little too old for that kind of stuff.

Fill your bed with single naked girls.

 

[Scars]

That wouldn't fly with me. I'd immediately dump her. She obviously has no respect for you or the relationship, she should know better than that.

It's also going to throw her for a loop. When people ask why you split, she has nothing more to say than "I was a slut". Or "I slept in the a bed with his friend, I'm an idiot" it's going to make her feel like the little ***** that she is.