Your Fears Are Illogical

[enkai]

I know a lot of guys have a hard time doing cold approaches, I do myself, well I more or less use to have a real hard time, something in me would just turn on and I would get this feeling in my gut and then something would just hold me back, but now I love doing cold approaches, they're my favorite, and when I succeed in them I am the more happy then when doing anything else because to me that's the greatest reward and they're real hard to do...K anyhow, I had this realization a while back while doing cardio at the gym, funny how things just click sometime randomly...Fear...When you are about to approach a chik, you get this feeling of fear, but in reality there is NOTHING to be afraid of, you are not going to get phsycally hurt, you're not going to loose anything, the fear doesn't make sense, I know it's much easier telling yourself this rather then actually feelin' it, so what I reccomend you do is take a week, goto a mall a that's a lil far from where you live in case you get rejected so it wont come back to hunt ya which I promise you it wont! and just bang out cold approaches one by one, take a buddy with you, that's what I did...I went to a mall and just did cold approaches, here is my first one after my friend failed to do it 3 times, it was kinda corny, but I got the digits and made the girl smile....

As I walk upto the girl she turns around and looks at me I go

Me - Whats up?

Her - Nothing Much

Me - What's your name?

Her - Megan

Me - I'm Alen

Me - Listen Megan, I really don't have much time to talk to you, but I'd love to get to know you, so do you have an e-mail or a phone number I can get in touch with you?

Her - Is already looking for paper

Me - I hand her my cell phone and tell her to punch it, then I ask her what her name is again and walk off.

Her - Turns around and tells me to give her a call some time

K that was it, see how easy that was? once you do it, you do it, and there is nothing to it, females are not some magical creature that takes some extra super strength, by the way...getting the phone number or the e-mail is just one tiny tiny step of the whole thing, but what it does man? It gives you confidence, you did something what 90% of the guys out there can't do, and guess what? You guys are armed with a ton of information that those 10% that are able to approah them have, so now what does this leave...O yeah, you're somewhere in 1% of the population that actually knows how to go through the whole proccess...It took me a year to get enough balls and just go out and do it, two weeks ago I couldn't have pulled this off, but some times when you just sit back and let your thoughts roam free you realize things such as that this fear of approaching females is very very illgocal because you have nothing to loose, only to gain.

Also on another note, you DJs that are pretty experienced in these matters, help out the new guys...I know when I was the new guy here and was just reading article after article, but then I realized..."Hey this stuff isn't worth a thing if I don't go out there and use it".

 

[Lionheart]

"Fear...When you are about to approach a chik, you get this feeling of fear, but in reality there is NOTHING to be afraid of, you are not going to get phsycally hurt, you're not going to loose anything, the fear doesn't make sense,"

Truth, I guess it partially about insecurity, I guess you feel that if she says no, people are scared that their ego will be damaged.

"funny how things just click sometime randomly"
Been happening to me a lot lately.

 

[enkai]

I think it's a good idea to take a week or two off of DJing and just take time to reflect on everything and then become confident, the way I became confident is I used NLP, and it works, each nite before I goto sleep I would relax my mind, clear it of all thoughts and say things to me 3 to 10 times each untill it's kinda vibriting in my head...

"I am confident"
"I am positive"
"I can do anything I choose to do"
"I will not tolerate people who waste my time and space"

things along those lines, and then you just kinda wake up, and within a few days you feel different, try it, you'll notice a big difference.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Wow! I am making a post similar to this. Its funny because I was going to name the title of the post Your Fears Are Illogical too.

 

[enkai]

Originally posted by Boricua_33015
Wow! I am making a post similar to this. Its funny because I was going to name the title of the post Your Fears Are Illogical too.

Why don't you just add your stuff here and we can call it OUR post if it ever gets into the DJ Bible.

 

[violator]

The problem is not so much approaching and number closing. The problem lies in establishing enough rapport in a short period of time so that when you do call her, she will respond accordingly.

I can't tell you how many times I have gotten numbers from random women off of the streets, malls, elevators, etc. However, by the time you call them to make a date, most of them will flake one way or another. It really is a numbers game. I'd say in order to get some play with one girl you have to make at least 10 approaches.

 

[T-4ze]

So you didn't build any rapport at all, what was your success rate from calling them? I'm not doubting you, but I just think that your not gaining anything if you dont end up on a date or f'in them.

 

[violator]

I would say my success rate is about 15%. It really depends on the circumstances. If a chick really digs your looks, rapport doesn't matter much because it is purely physical and she is probably just interested in sex. However, most girls have thier bytch shields up so if you do approach them, you have to lower it and this takes time to establish good rapport.

 

[enkai]

Originally posted by violator
I would say my success rate is about 15%. It really depends on the circumstances. If a chick really digs your looks, rapport doesn't matter much because it is purely physical and she is probably just interested in sex. However, most girls have thier bytch shields up so if you do approach them, you have to lower it and this takes time to establish good rapport.

Violator you're right, other then the DJs, PUAs, and other confident males to go upto women and get their digits, who else does it? the good looking self confident types who for whatever reason have enough confidence to do it, and as well all know women get approached a ton more then guys do, so they're kinda use to this whole thing and getting the phone number really doesn't mean jack ****, but it's a starting point and you got to create accratciveness in her for you, that's why when in social situations such as parties, clubs, bars etc...you can just be the alphamale and be indiffferent to all pepole and this will vibrate confidence and you can usually just leave with a women home that nite, but for us who are under the age of 21 in this lovly country of ours, we can't really drink legally yet so...were pretty much stuck doing cold approaches other places, but this really doesn't bother me, i like doing cold approaches myself cuz they put up the most challange.

P.S. - The thing with hot chix is that yes it is very true that they get approached often, BUT most guys screw up by not knowing what to say, vibrating i wanna **** you vibe which is sometimes scray for females, etc...I always make sure I keep in touch with my ex GFs so if dry season comes up I can still get laid, but anyhow what I noticed is that they always complain to me and the complaint is all the same and it goes something like this "I wish guys would stop being pussies and approach me, I hate it that I intimidate them, but yet it's unnatractive if they're intimidated by me" you see, it's like kinda a paradox, younger chix 18 and under are easier for this, older chix 20 and up are more mature and easier to **** mindwise, but here is the best best part...I am 19 years old, and I am deveouvering all this information, going out doing things, and all this stuff cuz I seriously want to master this aspect of my life and I am happy that I have an opportunity to at this youth.