Young people cant make good romantic decisions

[Pandora]

The problem with this idea is that sperm quality and fertility are in decline at that age. If you go by the idea that the main objective of marriage is to raise children and a family, this is relevant. Unfortunately, the values of our current culture are misdirected or missing. Like it or not, younger people make healthier babies. I've always thought that having children was kind of like something that might be best if it blindsided you when you were young, while you still had the energy to raise them. Bear in mind that I have no children though lol.

Is sperm quality really a factor for men? My dad had his 2nd child at 45 and she is smarter than I am ( academically). I know that is just an anecdote.

 

[zekko]

Is sperm quality really a factor for men? My dad had his 2nd child at 45 and she is smarter than I am ( academically). I know that is just an anecdote.

My mom had me when she and my dad were in their 40s. But yes, it's a factor.

 

[The Duke]

The longest relationship I ever had started when I was in high school. Lasted 15yrs, resulted in marriage, then divorce. First chic I ever had sex with. One of the easiest and a very solid relationship.

With all of my experience and abundance I've acquired years later I haven't been able to make one last more than 5yrs.

If anything I am less forgiving, less tolerant, and have no doubt I can go out and get another one if I necessary. I fully understand my value now.

Maybe I have too much abundance?

All that experience can be a blessing and a curse.

I do think two young people have the best shot of success. When you both don't have all the answers you can learn together. Experience highs and lows and form bonds When you get older both parties have been there done that, have strong opinions, know too much.

The old saying "ignorance is bliss" comes to mind.

Just food for thought.

 

[Pandora]

The longest relationship I ever had started when I was in high school. Lasted 15yrs, resulted in marriage, then divorce. First chic I ever had sex with. One of the easiest and a very solid relationship.

With all of my experience and abundance I've acquired years later I haven't been able to make one last more than 5yrs.

If anything I am less forgiving, less tolerant, and have no doubt I can go out and get another one if I necessary. I fully understand my value now.

Maybe I have too much abundance?

All that experience can be a blessing and a curse.

I do think two young people have the best shot of success. When you both don't have all the answers you can learn together. Experience highs and lows and form bonds When you get older both parties have been there done that, have strong opinions, know too much.

The old saying "ignorance is bliss" comes to mind.

Just food for thought.

Your perspective on this topic is very interesting. The reason had my perspective is because if I had a time machine I would go back and date one of those two girls from my past. I now know what qualities to look for and they had those qualities.

You do make a good point that young people can grow together. Maybe age is actually an impediment to forming a partnership. Hmmm

Btw if your first relationship was "very solid" why did it end after 15 yrs. Is there no hope anymore!!!

 

[The Duke]

Your perspective on this topic is very interesting. The reason had my perspective is because if I had a time machine I would go back and date one of those two girls from my past. I now know what qualities to look for and they had those qualities.

You do make a good point that young people can grow together. Maybe age is actually an impediment to forming a partnership. Hmmm

Btw if your first relationship was "very solid" why did it end after 15 yrs. Is there no hope anymore!!!

Both got busy with careers, stopped making time for each other, and our paths diverged. She cheated and I ended it.

I still don't have the answers. Society isn't as simple as it once was. We live in a throw away world. If it doesn't work, get a new one. Women don't need men financially anymore and that's part of it.

Just enjoy what ever you have. Realize nothing is meant to last forever.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Is sperm quality really a factor for men? My dad had his 2nd child at 45 and she is smarter than I am ( academically). I know that is just an anecdote.

I heard sperm quality does go down, but it's very minuscule. however, older woman use it as a cope. you can look it up. it's like getting stomach cancer by drinking one beer (or something like that). very minimal. you will hear doctors call births that involve women over 35 as geriatric but not refer to these births as geriatric when the man is over 35 or 40..

 

[Manure Spherian]

dont think that men should settle down before 35yrs old.

I know several men who were in their mid 20s when they settled down, and they’re doing fine. Of course I should mention it’s a biased crowd: intelligent, attractive, middle to upper class, and intact extended families.

I have a daughter. So I’m curious. How would you vet a suitor of a daughter as a father? What are red flags in a suitor?

 

[Pandora]

I know several men who were in their mid 20s when they settled down, and they’re doing fine. Of course I should mention it’s a biased crowd: intelligent, attractive, middle to upper class, and intact extended families.

I have a daughter. So I’m curious. How would you vet a suitor of a daughter as a father? What are red flags in a suitor?

Men have a radar for other men that are no good. Your intuition will kick in because it has been tuned sense birth to detect threats from other men. You are a relatively manly guy so you know what makes a good man.

It is the same radar that women have towards the intentions of other women. Mothers know when a girl is trying to finesse her son.

If you have a guy over for dinner and start asking him questions you will quickly find out if he is just using your daughter.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Men have a radar for other men that are no good. Your intuition will kick in because it has been tuned sense birth to detect threats from other men. You are a relatively manly guy so you know what makes a good man.

It is the same radar that women have towards the intentions of other women. Mothers know when a girl is trying to finesse her son.

If you have a guy over for dinner and start asking him questions you will quickly find out if he is just using your daughter.

Also, in the past, most relationships started out with the couple being in the same social circle. Everyone had a reputation. It was easier to find out who the players were and who the town bicycle was.

Society was told by liberals and feminist that the body count doesn't matter. Sleep around, etc. Dating apps facilitated hooking up. It's not called hookup culture for nothing. Fathers who did warn their daughters were told they were "misogynist", not up with the times, etc.... and guess what? Most of the daughters agreed with society and didn't heed the advice of those fathers..... because most young kids are stupid (regardless of what the media tells us - "you go gurl!!! strong and independent. Who needs a mans advice", etc. etc.).

It's like a war is going on. Instead of men dying and not coming back home to form families. It's like women are dying and not forming relationships. It's the great culture shift of our times. During the 40's it was the war and not many men came back unscathed. Now in our generation, it's not a war, but an ideology that will leave women wrecked and hurt. This obviously will affect men also.

Strange times. Society is being drastically changed. Most wouldn't realize this until decades from now. however, the pendulum will shift. What we have now is not sustainable.

 

[Pandora]

Also, in the past, most relationships started out with the couple being in the same social circle. Everyone had a reputation. It was easier to find out who the players were and who the town bicycle was.

Society was told by liberals and feminist that the body count doesn't matter. Sleep around, etc. Dating apps facilitated hooking up. It's not called hookup culture for nothing. Fathers who did warn their daughters were told they were "misogynist", not up with the times, etc.... and guess what? Most of the daughters agreed with society and didn't heed the advice of those fathers..... because most young kids are stupid (regardless of what the media tells us - "you go gurl!!! strong and independent. Who needs a mans advice", etc. etc.).

It's like a war is going on. Instead of men dying and not coming back home to form families. It's like women are dying and not forming relationships. It's the great culture shift of our times. During the 40's it was the war and not many men came back unscathed. Now in our generation, it's not a war, but an ideology that will leave women wrecked and hurt. This obviously will affect men also.

Strange times. Society is being drastically changed. Most wouldn't realize this until decades from now. however, the pendulum will shift. What we have now is not sustainable.

Very well put

 

[pipeman84]

Also, in the past, most relationships started out with the couple being in the same social circle. Everyone had a reputation. It was easier to find out who the players were and who the town bicycle was.

100%

Society was told by liberals and feminist that the body count doesn't matter. Sleep around, etc. Dating apps facilitated hooking up. It's not called hookup culture for nothing. Fathers who did warn their daughters were told they were "misogynist", not up with the times, etc.... and guess what? Most of the daughters agreed with society and didn't heed the advice of those fathers..... because most young kids are stupid (regardless of what the media tells us - "you go gurl!!! strong and independent. Who needs a mans advice", etc. etc.).

I disagree here. You can't blame liberals and feminists if an +18yrs old woman signs up on Tinder and starts having sex with random men after a couple of dates. She's an adult and has full responsibility for her actions.
I also disagree that most young kids are stupid ... those that are stupid at 16 will still be stupid at 36. Do not confuse lack of life experience with stupidity.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I disagree here. You can't blame liberals and feminists if an +18yrs old woman signs up on Tinder and starts having sex with random men after a couple of dates. She's an adult and has full responsibility for her actions.

Then who is to blame? Women in the past were more happy with their choices in life, but now, in general, women are not happy with their choices. Remember, it's the liberals and feminists who said a woman should "discover herself", "taste all the colors of the rainbow", etc. So it's the young women's fault for listening to these people?

Like digging a hole in the sidewalk, and then covering it with an extremely thin piece of concrete, and if a person steps on it and falls into the hole; it's not the person who created the hole, but the person walking on the concrete that is at fault? Remember, people have been making money selling the "strong, independent woman" narrative. People have gotten rich peddling this ideology. Sex in the city made the writer rich and famous; or how about ally McBeal? Not to mention self help books, clothes that have the "strong independent woman" vibe, etc.

Look at our university. Want to be a cool independent boss babe? How about enroll in University? I'm sure the university systems are getting rich off of the high enrollment of women with their useless degrees. "Look, I have a masters in political science. I'm now working at starbucks and have massive debt. Not yet, a strong independent woman, but I'm going to be. Yeah, for me!!!"...

Then you have the dating apps, which encourages this behavior even more. "Install the app. Find your soulmate.. but keep on dating.. because there's always someone new that could be an EVEN better soulmate. Remember to join X membership and pay us $$$$$$; you want to be a strong independent boss babe that has a awesome millionaire boyfriend, don't you? you deserve the best.. .Oh, and keep on using our app... keep on making us money. Date that chad.. you know you want too even though you aren't at his league.. but you deserve him; give it up; that will surely make him stay; if not, just try again.. but remember keep on using the app; make us money".

I remember a time when people use to be able to smoke just about everywhere. The smokers would says it was "their choice to smoke. Why are people trying to 'control them?' I'm a smart person, I can do whatever I want. I'll take the responsibility, etc." There were also advertisements on TV: "Want to be cool and masculine - check out how cool and masculine the Marlboro man is. you want to be him, right?" For all you women, "see that sexy girl in a sexy dress smoking menthol cigarettes, that could be you. You got that dress. You got that smile. All you need is that cigarette." Billboards, radio advertisement, heck, even candy and kids tv shows would try to promote that idea. And if that wasn't enough, the Tabaco companies had doctors... actually, doctors saying smoking wasn't bad for you.

I think we can agree that the Tabaco industry was to blame for the high rates of smoking. people were influenced into smoking and a lot of people got lung cancer and died. Yes, we can say that people had agency to decide to smoke, but I'm sure we can agree the advertising did help. Now, with the ban on Tabaco advertisement, smoking is not really a thing anymore. Less people are dying of lung cancer and the myriad of other ailments.

People do get influenced by what they see around them. I don't really blame the young woman who decide to be the "independent boss babe".... It's like those young men going into war and getting maimed and killed; in a way, their choices were the product of the zeitgeist of the time. However, we can try to understand what lead to the war... and what lead to the "independent boss babe" ideology. For the issues that woman are having (and indirectly men); I blame the liberals and the feminist. Just like I would blame the Tabaco companies for making the 18 year old man want to start smoking 25 years ago.

 

[pipeman84]

@Slowhandluke
My point was that hoes gonna hoe ... the percentages of hoes out of total women population and the way in which they manifest will vary according to the time period, but the bottom line is that Tinder doesn't turn a wholesome girl into a hoe ... at most she would sign up out of curiosity and also probably attracted by the illusion of 'options', go on a few dates, be repulsed by the guys she met and that's it. No harm no foul.

Women in the past were more happy with their choices in life, but now, in general, women are not happy with their choices.

I don't know about those romanticised good ol' days. It's not like dead bedrooms, cheating, unhappy marriages are a recent phenomenon.

Oh, and considering my username , don't tempt me into a rant about anti-smoking, one of the biggest scams out there, right along with meat is bad for you and going vegan is healthy both for you and the planet (in fact quite the contrary). In short, all that advertising Big Tobacco did was to switch the consumers from cigars/pipe to cigarettes (which being highly processed and full of chemicals, particularly after 1970s, are arguably damaging to health). Traditional societies throughout Americas and other places have been heavy smokers and had none of the ailments supposedly caused by tobacco. Big Tobacco's ads got banned and replaced by Big Pharma's and Big Junkfood's and the population is fatter, more medicated and sicker than ever.