You wonder why women aren't into guys like you?

[Jitterbug]

If you're asking yourself (and maybe whining on SoSuave) why women seem to go for guys who are NOT you: guys who are taller, of another race, richer, better looking, bigger muscles, famous, more intelligent, dumber, skinnier, metrosexual, artistic etc.

Well, keep in mind that to every guy who is NOT one of the top 1% guys that all women seem to go for, it appears that most women go for men who aren't them. You're all in the same boat.

Now you have a choice. You can either try to improve yourself as much as you can to join that 1%, or you can learn to acknowledge that fact and stop torturing yourself over it. There's a lot more to life than women. Don't let pvssy rule your every waking moment.

In fact, do both. Give that top 1% race a good shot while developing that peace of mind.

 

[Nygard]

guys who are taller, of another race, richer, better looking, bigger muscles, famous, more intelligent, dumber, skinnier, metrosexual, artistic etc.

I don't know what you're talking about, my only problem lies between my ears. Women are not into me because I'm a major mental ****up, period.

 

[moneyisking]

make lots of money---> get a expensive prostitute---> fvck---> problem solved. at least you ain't a virgin no more

 

[DonJuanit0]

You just said what's already been said on this forum way too many times!

The thing is, for some reason, people don't seem to understand/accept it!
Why?

One teacher of mine when I was in high school once said, You boys should drop sex down the pedestal (in Greek there is a word for it but I don't think it exists in English) anyway, that really changed my mind, he was a real DJ, he would always stand so proud, and talk with so much passion! I had already lost my V card then and I was just curious, WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT SEX ISN'T SUCH A BIG DEAL ? I WAS F*CKING MY GF EVERYDAY AND I EVEN WANTED MORE! After 2-3 years I really understood what he was saying... Getting laid is really a 2 hours joy... And then? What about your goals in life? Your friends? There are way too many things besides sex! Things a man should accomplish! Being proud, have a good job, being able to discuss everything (through reading books and learning new things all the time)!!

There was something more from that teacher... One phrase I will never forget... ''Every animal, after sex, is sad'' It became so clear to me lately, that I read some things... Animals have only 1 thing to live for, replication! Men on the other hand, live for something bigger than that! That's why we have brains and we came so far with our civilizations!

Anyway, Jitterbug you are 100% right on what you're saying... Let's hope someone here will take advantage of your advice...

 

[GettinLuckyAintLuck]

I know a lot of guys who have money, their own place, but are still ****en clueless when it comes to dating girls. The point is, money doesn't give you charm.....

 

[Maxtro]

You can either try to improve yourself as much as you can to join that 1%, or you can learn to acknowledge that fact and stop torturing yourself over it. There's a lot more to life than women. Don't let pvssy rule your every waking moment.

In fact, do both. Give that top 1% race a good shot while developing that peace of mind.

Self-improvement takes a long time. It's not a quick and easy process. That said, the second part about there being a lot more to life than women is very hard for me to accept.

I've wanted to have girls in my life since I was 13 years old. Now I'm just a few months shy of turning 29 and I still haven't had a girl in my life. I feel like a very important puzzle piece has been kept away from me.

People have constantly told me that women don't bring happiness and they may even make you feel worse. Too me that sounds like somebody saying that they've seen an alien, and I couldn't believe them till I've seen it for myself. I need to experience an actual relationship to understand what it is really like, the highs and the lows.

 

[Warrior74]

Maxtro. What's your major problem man? Seriously, I think you doing something wrong if you've been trying since 13. What exactly are you shooting for?

 

[Maxtro]

It's a combination of many things. When I was starting to like girls at 13 I also had a huge interest in video games. I was perfectly happy coming home after school and playing video games for the rest of the day either by myself or with buddies. Socializing with girls wasn't that important.

There were a couple of girls that I also talked to in class, but when I told them that I liked them, they rejected me. Then somehow I started to get really shy around girls. I stopped talking to them. I ended up having crushes on girls without ever speaking to them. Most ignored me but some were rude. Obviously I never got any of them. No girls ever liked me.

This continued till I graduated High School where I never had a single female friend, never been to any parties. My only friends were the dorky guys like me who only played video games and watched Dragon Ball Z.

To make a long story short, I never developed the proper social skills or any confidence that was required to attract girls.

At 19 I actually started to interact with girls more and more. I finally made my first female friend at 22. From then on it was all friendzone shit.

Now I'm trying to find the balance between expressing interest in girls I barely talked to and going the friends route and completely hiding my interest. Unfortunately my self-esteem and confidence are completely messed up.

I'm just trying to date ordinary girls. I don't even bother trying to pursue the really hot girls. Hopefully someday soon I'll get lucky and a girl would actually let me date her.

 

[CaptainJ]

Self-improvement takes a long time. It's not a quick and easy process. That said, the second part about there being a lot more to life than women is very hard for me to accept.

I've wanted to have girls in my life since I was 13 years old. Now I'm just a few months shy of turning 29 and I still haven't had a girl in my life. I feel like a very important puzzle piece has been kept away from me.

People have constantly told me that women don't bring happiness and they may even make you feel worse. Too me that sounds like somebody saying that they've seen an alien, and I couldn't believe them till I've seen it for myself. I need to experience an actual relationship to understand what it is really like, the highs and the lows.

How much can you squat?
What's your weight?
Is your body fat % low?
Have you done bootcamp?
Are you well groomed?

I'm sorry, but it simply does not take someone 16 years to improve themselves and still not be good with women. You aren't trying hard enough.

 

[moneyisking]

You just said what's already been said on this forum way too many times!

The thing is, for some reason, people don't seem to understand/accept it!
Why?

One teacher of mine when I was in high school once said, You boys should drop sex down the pedestal (in Greek there is a word for it but I don't think it exists in English) anyway, that really changed my mind, he was a real DJ, he would always stand so proud, and talk with so much passion! I had already lost my V card then and I was just curious, WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT SEX ISN'T SUCH A BIG DEAL ? I WAS F*CKING MY GF EVERYDAY AND I EVEN WANTED MORE! After 2-3 years I really understood what he was saying... Getting laid is really a 2 hours joy... And then? What about your goals in life? Your friends? There are way too many things besides sex! Things a man should accomplish! Being proud, have a good job, being able to discuss everything (through reading books and learning new things all the time)!!

There was something more from that teacher... One phrase I will never forget... ''Every animal, after sex, is sad'' It became so clear to me lately, that I read some things... Animals have only 1 thing to live for, replication! Men on the other hand, live for something bigger than that! That's why we have brains and we came so far with our civilizations!

Anyway, Jitterbug you are 100% right on what you're saying... Let's hope someone here will take advantage of your advice...

Tis very true.

 

[Maxtro]

How much can you squat?
What's your weight?
Is your body fat % low?
Have you done bootcamp?
Are you well groomed?

I'm sorry, but it simply does not take someone 16 years to improve themselves and still not be good with women. You aren't trying hard enough.

Physical fitness is only a very small part of self improvement.

Though since I'm bored I'll answer your questions.

What's your weight?
I'm 5'6, 160lbs. I'm trying to bulk up to 170 then I'll cut.

Is your body fat % low?
My electronic scale says 21%

How much can you squat?
I don't know what my max is. Right now I'm trying to do 2x5 @ 180. I'm dead-lifting 200 same reps/sets.

Have you done bootcamp?
The DJ bootcamp? No I have no interest in cold approaching and trying to hit on a girl I just met. I prefer to pursue girls that I see on a regular basis. I just need to stop waiting so long before I make a move.

Are you well groomed?
Yes. I make sure to always look and smell good. I prefer to wear a nice t-shirt and shorts most of the year. If it's a bit windy which it sometimes is in Long Beach, I'll wear jeans. I believe everything I wear fits my image and nothing is dorky/nerdy.

The only physical thing about me that may be holding me back is my height. I've only ever had a girl call me short once and she was 6 feet...

Other than that, it's all about personality and confidence.

 

[Rescue Mission]

Physical fitness is only a very small part of self improvement.

Your looks are your problem.........which helps contribute to your low confidence and low self esteem. Physical fitness needs to be #1 on your self improvement, and the rest will come after you look hotter in the eyes of women!!

 

[Just a Shot Away]

Your looks are your problem.........which helps contribute to your low confidence and low self esteem. Physical fitness needs to be #1 on your self improvement, and the rest will come after you look hotter in the eyes of women!!

Terrible advice. I see fat/ugly/short guys with chicks that I have no chance with CONSTANTLY. It's all about confidence and game. Yes, it couldn't hurt to get in the gym. But to claim that getting fit is somehow a magic pill to getting girls? Absurd.

 

[Kirro]

It's a combination of many things. When I was starting to like girls at 13 I also had a huge interest in video games. I was perfectly happy coming home after school and playing video games for the rest of the day either by myself or with buddies. Socializing with girls wasn't that important.

There were a couple of girls that I also talked to in class, but when I told them that I liked them, they rejected me. Then somehow I started to get really shy around girls. I stopped talking to them. I ended up having crushes on girls without ever speaking to them. Most ignored me but some were rude. Obviously I never got any of them. No girls ever liked me.

This continued till I graduated High School where I never had a single female friend, never been to any parties. My only friends were the dorky guys like me who only played video games and watched Dragon Ball Z.

To make a long story short, I never developed the proper social skills or any confidence that was required to attract girls.

At 19 I actually started to interact with girls more and more. I finally made my first female friend at 22. From then on it was all friendzone shit.

Now I'm trying to find the balance between expressing interest in girls I barely talked to and going the friends route and completely hiding my interest. Unfortunately my self-esteem and confidence are completely messed up.

I'm just trying to date ordinary girls. I don't even bother trying to pursue the really hot girls. Hopefully someday soon I'll get lucky and a girl would actually let me date her.

The parts in bold are your main problem. So your self-esteem & confidence are completely messed up & you're trying to deal with women? Nah. You need some more YOU time, you have to find the things that set you apart from others & have some pride in that then you'll have taken the first step to changing your abysmal love life.

As for the second part, hopefully? You'll get lucky? A girl would LET you date her? This wishy washy nancy pants attitude is just going to keep you in the rut you are in. Like I said spend sometime developing every aspect of yourself so that YOU become the prize so that the HB8 in your life sees YOU & thinks to herself, "hopefully, someday soon I'll get lucky & that guy Maxtro will actually let me date him.

 

[Maxtro]

So your self-esteem & confidence are completely messed up & you're trying to deal with women? Nah. You need some more YOU time, you have to find the things that set you apart from others & have some pride in that then you'll have taken the first step to changing your abysmal love life.

Then I'll just tell you that my self-esteem & confidence are completely messed up because I've never had a woman. I'm just going in circles.

There are several things that I've done or have that I have pride about. But because of the way I think I minimize their importance and focus all my thoughts on women. I've subconsciously convinced myself that a girl is the only thing that can make me feel complete. The only way to find out if I'm wrong is to actually get a girl.

As for the second part, hopefully? You'll get lucky? A girl would LET you date her? This wishy washy nancy pants attitude is just going to keep you in the rut you are in.

Yes, at this point all I've got left are luck and hope. I'll try and put my best face forward, be fun and flirty, express my interest and hopefully I'll get lucky and a girl would let me date her.

 

[Kirro]

Then I'll just tell you that my self-esteem & confidence are completely messed up because I've never had a woman. I'm just going in circles.

There are several things that I've done or have that I have pride about. But because of the way I think I minimize their importance and focus all my thoughts on women. I've subconsciously convinced myself that a girl is the only thing that can make me feel complete. The only way to find out if I'm wrong is to actually get a girl.


Yes, at this point all I've got left are luck and hope. I'll try and put my best face forward, be fun and flirty, express my interest and hopefully I'll get lucky and a girl would let me date her.

My friend, as long as you have this bullsh!t mindset that you need a woman to make you complete the more miserable & disappointed you are going to be. You are selling yourself short & you'll end up attracting low quality a$$clowns who will take advantage of you.

Is that what you want? I'll be presumptuous & say no you don't want that.

In the words of my mentor & best friend I say this to you Maxtro. UP YOUR FVCKIN' GAME! Let me tell you what that means.

Do you have a good job? If not get one? Do you have an education? If not get a good one. Are you in good shape? If no get in shape. How is your hygiene? How is your sense of style?

If these things are taken care of then you're ahead of most of us. Now that just leaves your mind. If you know your are valuable act that way. Be selfish, be confident in who & what you are, what you have done & can do Maxtro. Chin up, chest out, walk confidently like you own the road, you see a chick who looks good stare in straight in the eye & smile, wave say hi & just be comfortable.

Women aren't a big deal, most of them have nothing to offer these days but sex. Construct your own world with hard work & passion & make women work to be a part of your world.

 

[Maxtro]

I'm not working but I'm a full time student at a university. I should graduate in about a year. I work out 2-3 times a week. Hygiene is good and my sense of style is the best I can afford. I believe I look good. My posture is good.

Women aren't a big deal, most of them have nothing to offer these days but sex.

Try going without sex for a year and tell me it's not a big deal. I have not met a single person in real life or on a forum that was going through forced abstinence who is happy. Getting a hooker doesn't count.

I want the sex, the intimacy, the companionship. All those desires are completely natural. Going without them has actually been seen to be a detriment to ones mental health.

 

[CaptainJ]

Physical fitness is only a very small part of self improvement.

Though since I'm bored I'll answer your questions.

What's your weight?
I'm 5'6, 160lbs. I'm trying to bulk up to 170 then I'll cut.

Is your body fat % low?
My electronic scale says 21%

How much can you squat?
I don't know what my max is. Right now I'm trying to do 2x5 @ 180. I'm dead-lifting 200 same reps/sets.

Have you done bootcamp?
The DJ bootcamp? No I have no interest in cold approaching and trying to hit on a girl I just met. I prefer to pursue girls that I see on a regular basis. I just need to stop waiting so long before I make a move.

Are you well groomed?
Yes. I make sure to always look and smell good. I prefer to wear a nice t-shirt and shorts most of the year. If it's a bit windy which it sometimes is in Long Beach, I'll wear jeans. I believe everything I wear fits my image and nothing is dorky/nerdy.

The only physical thing about me that may be holding me back is my height. I've only ever had a girl call me short once and she was 6 feet...

Other than that, it's all about personality and confidence.

Like Rescue Mission said, getting in good physical shape should be your number 1 priority, it makes a HUGE difference. It's not ALL about personality and confidence, they are big parts, but how you look also matters a lot. At 20% bodyfat you are getting quite chunky, and you should cut down.

Also your answer to the DJ bootcamp question just screams at how lazy you are. You have no interest in cold approaching? Seriously. How the hell do you ever meet women? Every time you talk to any new woman, it's similar to a cold approach, you use the same skills as you would if you were to pick up a girl off the street. It's not that you have no interest, it's just that you are too scared of being rejected and too lazy to bother. Don't do the cold approaches on streets to pick up girls and get their numbers, do it to hone your social skills. You will learn ALOT by simply throwing yourself in the deep end, overcoming your social fears and talking with strangers. And if you do manage a succesful number close, then that's simply the added benefit of the cold approach. It's all about the means, not the end result.

You want sex? Get approaching. You want intimacy, get approaching. Stop whining about your problems, the only thing holding you back is yourself, you're being a lazy cvnt.

Maxtro, I DARE you to do bootcamp. Prove to us here that you are made of sterner stuff, and you are actually willing to improve. You have spent years here with 1000s of posts, yet you have accomplished jacksh1t, because you don't work. So pull your finger out and do something constructive with your life. Do the bootcamp, and keep a log.

 

[Kirro]

I'm not working but I'm a full time student at a university. I should graduate in about a year. I work out 2-3 times a week. Hygiene is good and my sense of style is the best I can afford. I believe I look good. My posture is good.


Try going without sex for a year and tell me it's not a big deal. I have not met a single person in real life or on a forum that was going through forced abstinence who is happy. Getting a hooker doesn't count.

I want the sex, the intimacy, the companionship. All those desires are completely natural. Going without them has actually been seen to be a detriment to ones mental health.

I haven't had sex since December 2008 my friend. & though I do flashback to that year & my escapades I know I have a ton of self-improvement to complete before I even think about getting back in the game. I've moved to NY & basically hit a restart button, I'm naturally good but I can be much much better. I do prefer girls in my life, it can be loads of fun but that fun quickly wears thin & if you're aren't careful females can make your life a lot more stressful.

Now I'd say you're ahead of me right now by a mile. So the only thing making you dry right now is YOU. There are a dozens of topics on what you should do right now. Its all over the DJ bible, why are you even here? If what you say is true you are way ahead of most people who come here.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

If you're asking yourself (and maybe whining on SoSuave) why women seem to go for guys who are NOT you: guys who are taller, of another race, richer, better looking, bigger muscles, famous, more intelligent, dumber, skinnier, metrosexual, artistic etc.

Well, keep in mind that to every guy who is NOT one of the top 1% guys that all women seem to go for, it appears that most women go for men who aren't them. You're all in the same boat.

Now you have a choice. You can either try to improve yourself as much as you can to join that 1%, or you can learn to acknowledge that fact and stop torturing yourself over it. There's a lot more to life than women. Don't let pvssy rule your every waking moment.

In fact, do both. Give that top 1% race a good shot while developing that peace of mind.

I really like this. This is like the mission statement of SoSuave and the heart of becoming a Don Juan.

The top 1% of men is a very slim number. I think us dedicated men would benefit more from setting a long term goal for reaching the top 25-10%. It's incredibly hard to determine what qualities these top men have solely based on speculation though.

That brings me to what I don't like about this post.

Jitterbug, how do you become one of these "top men?" You offer some insight on why self improvement is a good path, but I could just blindly start working on my appearance and still get no women.

Jitterbug, can you offer any insight on what makes a "top man," and how us Sosuave members could find our own path in that direction?

I ask you this because, rewiring your beliefs, attitudes and personality is not easy! What could you tell us about your own progress and how you got to where you are today?