You have to be CONVINCED that this is normal

[pipe007]

quick insight guys

whenever you are approaching a girl, trying to kiss or anything move the interaction forward, she has to see in your eyes, she actually has to see through your eyes, that you are 100% CONVINCED beyond shadow of a doubt that what you are doing is perfectly ok and normal... this means that you are convinced that it is perfectly OK AND NORMAL to approach a stranger and start a flirty conversation. She has to see in your eyes, that this is WHO YOU ARE, not a trick you are trying on her in hopes of her approval...

if she sees the fire confidence in your eyes, she will feel at ease by your approach and immediately warm up to you. BUT if you doubt yourself, even for a second, when you are talking to her, or approaching or anything, SHE KNOWS IT, she can see it in your eyes, she can see you are full of ****, and you don't believe in what you are doing, she can see you are not the real deal

if you doubt yourself, she will see your doubt, and she will immediately doubt you as well, and will not be impressed by your approach at all.... but if you act as if it was the most normal thing to do in the whole world, she will feel at ease, she will go along with you, because there is no doubt in your mind, because you seem at ease, relaxed.....

this what separates ADVANCED guys from beginners and intermediate level DONJUANS...... this is it, in my opinion, is the power of confidence in your eyes and body language, words are meaningless..... she has to see in your eyes that you already won her... the minute that you doubt yourself , the minute that you get into your head trying to come up with something to say or impress her,,,, YOU ARE DONE

game over... she will read in your eyes, that you doubted yourself, even if its for a second, you must not be the real deal. DEAL with it boys, the game is brutal out there, and this is why weak minded guys (nice guys) never get the girl, you can NEVER get the girl if you are weak minded in the game of pick up.... only the ones who work hard at developing a HARD ROCK SOLID frame of mind will see the results and enjoy her presence.

go prove me wrong

 

[JohnChops]

since when was kissing, approaching, sex ever not normal behavior?

 

[VladPatton]

Agreed. But even then, with all that self conviction and absence of doubt, she can reject you. Always be prepared to accept the fact that you just can't account for taste.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Agreed. But even then, with all that self conviction and absence of doubt, she can reject you. Always be prepared to accept the fact that you just can't account for taste.

I think the point is: Who gives a fvck if she rejects you, her loss, not yours.

Nice post OP. +1

 

[pipe007]

ok maybe I wasn't very clear on the message lol

and thanks, but I don't think I ever mentioned that if she rejects you its her loss not yours either... and

and seriously, no matter how advanced you are, approaching a random stranger is NOT normal behavior for most people.

if you are a newbie, then you won't be congruent and your head will probably be filled with all kinds of doubts and fears "will I upset her"? is this ok? to approach etc?

if you are not congruent, if you have doubts as to believing you shouldn't be approaching, or doubting your ability to attract her, then she will know this immediately, and her attraction will be gone

you have to be convinced that its perfectly ok to approach her, and its as normal for you as saying hi to your mom. when you have this relaxed attitude, she relaxes as well..

I think im making myself clear, but I really don't know where the if she rejects you, its her loss part came from lol

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Well...my bad then. I misunderstood your OP.

What does happen when they reject you? When you're saying hi to your "Mom" what happens when she turns her back on you?

 

[pipe007]

If they reject you??
Well you either shrug it off... And don't even remember it... (I hope) or you can become depressed and worry and ruminate about it every day

Your choice....

And if you can't say hi to your mom... Lol it was a metaphor.... But if if you can't.... Mmm I don't know, there is always therapy??

Troll answer for a troll question

 

[mangotot]

this what separates ADVANCED guys from beginners and intermediate level DONJUANS...... this is it, in my opinion, is the power of confidence in your eyes and body language, words are meaningless..... she has to see in your eyes that you already won her... the minute that you doubt yourself , the minute that you get into your head trying to come up with something to say or impress her,,,, YOU ARE DONE

game over... she will read in your eyes, that you doubted yourself, even if its for a second, you must not be the real deal. DEAL with it boys, the game is brutal out there, and this is why weak minded guys (nice guys) never get the girl, you can NEVER get the girl if you are weak minded in the game of pick up.... only the ones who work hard at developing a HARD ROCK SOLID frame of mind will see the results and enjoy her presence.

A solid post. Nice one.

 

[Atom Smasher]

pipe's main point had nothing to do with rejection... that's irrelevant in his context. It had everything to do with your complete comfort with your own frame and actions.

He's talking about a MUCH overlooked principle. Most men come here with the feeling that approach, escalation etc. are not normal, and that there is some kind of guilt or shame involved, along with the usual fear. The fact is that it's very difficult for many men to turn this around. That's why sites like this exist.

I call it "Assumed Authority", and I try to employ that wherever I go in life. People will accept your frame when you yourself believe your frame with every fiber of your being. People in RL accept my leadership and "boss" status because it oozes out of me. I radiate it. The few who don't accept it don't matter, do they?

pipe, outstanding post. +1. This topic is worthy of much discussion and meditation. It is the key to personal power and influence.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

pipe's main point had nothing to do with rejection... that's irrelevant in his context. It had everything to do with your complete comfort with your own frame and actions.

Okay..... well, if you approach enough, then, as sure as $hit, you will get rejected.

They pretty much go hand in hand. --> Approaching and rejection.

You can't have

HARD ROCK SOLID frame of mind

without

Who gives a fvck if she rejects you

.

Why do some guys not approach? What's this so called Approach Anxiety I hear so much about?

Is it....fear of rejection?

The "context" may not have said so, but Op's post had everything to do with rejection.

 

[pipe007]

Atom!
thanks for putting my ideas in better words. I was starting to doubt if my idea was clear at all.

This post was NEVER intended to address the fear of approaching, or rejection. I've been in game for so long that fear of approach and rejection are not part of my reality anymore, I don't even acknowledge it so its hard for me to fit this post into your reality peaks&valleys.. seems like you are still in a state of development where you are stuck trying to overcome rejection and COPING

you are still coping with life, instead of creating your own.... yes rejection happens to me, probably more often than to you, but I considered myself to have evolved beyond concern for rejection, that I don't need to acknowledge it.

this post is FOR ADVANCED PEOPLE, maybe this is why you don't grasp the concept entirely... this is about you and your reality, when a girl can look at you in the eyes, and she can see the rock solid belief, the relaxation, and the REALITY where you already won. when there is no doubt in your heart, you are in the early stages of becoming an advanced DJ

do you know what advanced level means? its beyond what should I say? what if she rejects me? its beyond coping... with life

its imposing your reality in a charming way, sure not all girls will like you.... and its funny because I don't even remember them, like it doesn't even cross my reality that a girl rejected me or didn't like me

maybe this is where we differ.... my frame is "I UNDERSTAND my worth, I am relaxed when approaching" it seems that your frame comes from "How do I COPE with rejection, how do I avoid feeling bad after a rejection?

that's an entirely different topic and a different level of consciousness entirely.... o level I sure as hell DO NOT miss and will never go back into, how could I? I have evolved long ago

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Well, since YOU are so "advanced" how would you respond to this:

Agreed. But even then, with all that self conviction and absence of doubt, she can reject you. Always be prepared to accept the fact that you just can't account for taste.

Or do you live in a fantasy land glass house where you never get rejected?

And how YOU do not UNDERSTAND my point is beyond me. Or, maybe not.

 

[pipe007]

my answer to you is
who cares? if you get rejected?

I could approach 1000 girls, and they could all reject me one after the other, painfully... actually

guess what????? it doesn't matter to me, it doesn't change one bit my conviction that the next one will truly and 100% like me and will want to sleep with me.

you know why it doesn't matter? because after you approach 1000s of girls, you begin to realize that it doesn't matter if a girl likes you or rejects you, RESULTS don't matter any more

what matters is the evolution of the "self" of your consciousness, and the JOY of the growth that you are experiencing as you go in your journey, its about you not about the girls.

gaming girls is irrelevant, when I talk to a girl, I am actually having a conversation with myself, its as if she wasn't even there, im just feeling good within myself, and enjoying the process of growth that my actions are leading towards.... ONLY THEN , it a natural feeling to not give a ****, if she rejects you, because you don't even see it... if you can't grasp this concept,, then don't feel bad, its just a different perspective.

I used to think like you, focusing on the reality of rejection, and how rejection is real, and blablabla, yes rejection will happen.. ok let me just validate your comment and say "yes dear, rejection will happen to you, many times a day, and you deal with it by saying **** it, its her loss not mine"

but trust me it will come a point, where this will be so irrelevant to you, that you don't even acknowledge or remember that you just got rejected... it just doesn't enter your reality....
however, by the comment you made of "what happens if your mom gives her back to you" I immediately realize where you are coming from, probably from a "realistic" perspective where you like to think you are always right cuz you are a realist, and also you are probably the type of person that likes to focus on what may go wrong instead of thriving...

again, yes to answer your question, yes I am at an advanced level, and I'm proud of it, no need to hate, just realize I did my work, I've been out there grinding and getting my head beat to the ground rejection after rejection, day after day, months, years, until today, ive grown

 

[Bingo-Player]

great topic

100% agree , I've hit that level of self belief in the past but have had extreme difficulty in maintaining it and I'm not sure why

its somewhat of a paradox after taking the red pill you become too aware of women and they're wicked ways and because of that theres always room for error

 

[mangotot]

Okay..... well, if you approach enough, then, as sure as $hit, you will get rejected.

They pretty much go hand in hand. --> Approaching and rejection.

You can't have without .

Why do some guys not approach? What's this so called Approach Anxiety I hear so much about?

Is it....fear of rejection?

The "context" may not have said so, but Op's post had everything to do with rejection.

This is my problem. Getting rejected is a blow (Perhaps the OP does it so confidently the number of rejections he gets is low).

 

[pipe007]

honestly I do get rejection, but sure as Sh1t as he says, not only it doesn't bother me. I never expect to get rejected

wait not only that, every time I approach, I expect the girl to be so into me, that it creates an aura around you, a vacuum that pulls most people towards you....

yes some of them will not give me a number or a date, but even them will sit down with me and have long conversation, flirt, etc

some may ignore me ..... boo hooo!!!!

but my conviction is so rock solid, and im congruent with my tone, my body language, that when I say hi.... she feels the pull of my rock solid belief, that she feels compelled to stop and hear what I have to say... because this solidity represents "masculine polarity" it a gift to women

its the equivalent than for a guy seeing an attractive woman... in the same manner, girls are mesmerized by rock solid confidence... (most of them)

maybe I should do a different post on how to handle rejection :/

 

[mangotot]

^ Where do you normally approach women?

 

[pipe007]

I have been approaching consistently every day, even when sick, for 1 year and half.

EVERY DAY...

during weeks I go to university campuses (best learning experience for verbal game)
malls (very difficult)
clubs and bars (weekends/ great learning for physicality, dominance)

 

[Soolaimon]

Being confident and relaxed won't prevent you from being rejected.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

OP, I think you put way too much emphasis on the fact that I said "her loss, not yours". Something about failing to see the forrest for the trees. I didn't realize that that was what you were running on about. Also, you're way off on this one:

you are probably the type of person that likes to focus on what may go wrong instead of thriving...

However, this is some great advice when it comes to approaching, I read it through a few times, just to make sure I was fully understanding you (even though I'm not advanced), but don't think you're re-inventing the wheel here, or that you're the only one who's had these experiences, or even given this advice. You may be more "advanced" than me when it comes to approaching, I'll give you that one, but my advice to you: wait a few posts before you think you have someone all figured out.