Partnership in current western culture is still firmly rooted in the centuries-old belief system of Romanticism. There is a perfect one out there for everyone, you will inevitably find that person, and your union will complete you both. This is bovine excrement.
Here’s the basic problem with this belief system.
It infers that to complete yourself, you need a partner. This is fundamentally wrong, because it removes your responsibility to improve yourself, teaching you that you don’t have to do it. You’re fooled into misguidedly seeking a partner because you think they’re the cure to your flaws, when you should be focussing on eliminating these flaws by yourself. Because of this, when you finally get a partner, you find yourself unhappy because you’ve neglected to focus on your own life. It’s like you’re trying to advertise and sell a ruined house, expecting the buyer to fix it up. Of course it seems difficult to get a partner this way; who would buy the old ruin when there’s so many tidy, brand new houses to be had instead?
Focus on fixing the house, repairing it, painting it, upgrading it, and the buyers will swarm to it naturally. Focus on improving your shortcomings, bolstering your strengths, following your passions, and building the life you want, and you will become complete and spectacular on your own. Concentrate on this first, and potential partners will take interest in you.
Romanticism teaches that to become a full person you need a partner.
In reality, to get a partner, you need to be a full person.
As for “the one,” this is obviously ludicrous; there are thousands if not millions with the right traits and characteristics to be your partner. But they won’t want to be yours if you only see them as a solution to your personal problems.
Here’s the basic problem with this belief system.
It infers that to complete yourself, you need a partner. This is fundamentally wrong, because it removes your responsibility to improve yourself, teaching you that you don’t have to do it. You’re fooled into misguidedly seeking a partner because you think they’re the cure to your flaws, when you should be focussing on eliminating these flaws by yourself. Because of this, when you finally get a partner, you find yourself unhappy because you’ve neglected to focus on your own life. It’s like you’re trying to advertise and sell a ruined house, expecting the buyer to fix it up. Of course it seems difficult to get a partner this way; who would buy the old ruin when there’s so many tidy, brand new houses to be had instead?
Focus on fixing the house, repairing it, painting it, upgrading it, and the buyers will swarm to it naturally. Focus on improving your shortcomings, bolstering your strengths, following your passions, and building the life you want, and you will become complete and spectacular on your own. Concentrate on this first, and potential partners will take interest in you.
Romanticism teaches that to become a full person you need a partner.
In reality, to get a partner, you need to be a full person.
As for “the one,” this is obviously ludicrous; there are thousands if not millions with the right traits and characteristics to be your partner. But they won’t want to be yours if you only see them as a solution to your personal problems.
