You don't have to wait for me

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

There is 1 thing in particular that makes me go:
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ledyarJDrm1qfu4tho1_250.jpg

And this thing is when a girl tells you: ''You don't have to wait for me, we're not like really exclusive yet are we, right?'' after 3 dates.

Exclusive, after 3 dates, are you kidding me. There might be some guys who think this is fine as they can then proceed spinning plates and ****ing around. But I am very clear in regard to matters like these: ''I do not **** around, I'm not that guy. If I go for someone, I go for someone''. There are other times for ****ing around. And I expect the same from my counterpart.

Anyway, when a chick gives me that line that **** annoys me and I have the tendency to f*cking abort the damn thing. What do you guys say?

 

[jurry]

What?

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

What?

Tl;dr:

I don't like it when chicks tell me: ''you don't have to wait for me''.
I think it's rude, inconsiderate and just a show bad manners. As if she's saying: ''you don't have to wait for me, so I won't feel bad ****ing other guys''.

I don't have sex with other women if I am seriously going for a chick.

But that's just my humble opinion..

 

[Harry Wilmington]

If she's giving you this speech, it means she feels you're coming on too strong or trying to rush into a relationship too quickly. No bueno. I have it set in my head that when I start dating a chick, until we get to the 3rd month (minimum), both she AND I can continue to see whomever else we please. Because even though you THINK you already know you want her by date 3, the reality is that women don't start showing off crazy until months later - so it's actually beneficial for YOU to make HER wait. Having this mindset will result in you not coming across as so desperate for a relationship, and women won't say this crap to you anymore (TRUST me, I haven't heard that ish in almost 7 years now).

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

If she's giving you this speech, it means she feels you're coming on too strong or trying to rush into a relationship too quickly. No bueno. I have it set in my head that when I start dating a chick, until we get to the 3rd month (minimum), both she AND I can continue to see whomever else we please. Because even though you THINK you already know you want her by date 3, the reality is that women don't start showing off crazy until months later - so it's actually beneficial for YOU to make HER wait. Having this mindset will result in you not coming across as so desperate for a relationship, and women won't say this crap to you anymore (TRUST me, I haven't heard that ish in almost 7 years now).

Nice reply!
It's really strange how it works with women: the feelings and expressions of how much she liked me came from her side initially. I was like ''meh, let's give her a chance''. But when I started reciprocating the feelings it's like all of the sudden she flipped over 180 degrees and got cold feet and started the ''you don't have to wait for me'' and the ''I realised I don't know a lot about you''.

So all was okay and then all of the sudden I apparently started coming off too strong.
All communication diminished severely from that point.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

It's really strange how it works with women: the feelings and expressions of how much she liked me came from her side initially. I was like ''meh, let's give her a chance''. But when I started reciprocating the feelings it's like all of the sudden she flipped over 180 degrees and got cold feet and started the ''you don't have to wait for me'' and the ''I realised I don't know a lot about you''. So all was okay and then all of the sudden I apparently started coming off too strong. All communication diminished severely from that point.

And that's exactly why you don't start reciprocating those feelings until she asks the question, "So, what are we?" Until then, no telling her how you feel about her; no doing things that are indicative of a relationship (i.e. weekend trips, meeting friends or family); no buying her extravagant gifts, and definitely no constant text messaging - these are things she needs to FEEL like she needs to EARN from you. If you do it too soon, though, since she hasn't earned it she takes it for granted. You have to spoonfeed yourself to her in the beginning and NOT talk about things that say you want this to be a relationship - if anything, she needs to get the feeling that you could bail at any minute if she decides not to act right. 3 dates? HA! Like I said, dude, I wait 90 DAYS before I even THINK about agreeing to have the conversation with her about relationship status, and that's only after SHE brings it up.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

And that's exactly why you don't start reciprocating those feelings until she asks the question, "So, what are we?" Until then, no telling her how you feel about her; no doing things that are indicative of a relationship (i.e. weekend trips, meeting friends or family); no buying her extravagant gifts, and definitely no constant text messaging - these are things she needs to FEEL like she needs to EARN from you. If you do it too soon, though, since she hasn't earned it she takes it for granted. You have to spoonfeed yourself to her in the beginning and NOT talk about things that say you want this to be a relationship - if anything, she needs to get the feeling that you could bail at any minute if she decides not to act right. 3 dates? HA! Like I said, dude, I wait 90 DAYS before I even THINK about agreeing to have the conversation with her about relationship status, and that's only after SHE brings it up.

This post is pretty damn insightful. I do not agree a 100% on the doing it with others up until like the 3 month mark. But you're completely right on all the other stuff. I should start following that philosophy..

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

I agree 100% with Harry.

There's no magic "3 date" or "3 month" thing. If she's not totally comfortable with you at X date, it's a function of her interest in you specifically (and interest in other suitors, how interested you're acting), her desire (lack of) to be in a relationship, and quite simply the type of girl she is.

My last girlfirend" we dated without exclusiveness for like 2 months. We'd hang all weekend one week and the next weekend she'd be totally MIA. I'll admit, I wondered what she was doing, but I knew my only choice was to go out with my people, entertain more girls, and not worry about her. Before I knew it we were staying together nonstop and I was meeting her parents, etc. In all honesty, if I was worrying about her, I woulda ****ed it up even if we were hanging out. I woulda been a beta clingster.

Getting angry about it is a lose-lose. You could be cool about it and, who knows, 2 more dates and she's into you. Maybe you date a few more times and the wheels fall off. You don't know. But you can guarantee getting angry, "GTFO", she's gonna read as you being emotional and she's gonna dip because it makes her uncomfortable and she's wondering why you care so much after 3 dates.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

And that's exactly why you don't start reciprocating those feelings until she asks the question, "So, what are we?" Until then, no telling her how you feel about her; no doing things that are indicative of a relationship (i.e. weekend trips, meeting friends or family); no buying her extravagant gifts, and definitely no constant text messaging - these are things she needs to FEEL like she needs to EARN from you. If you do it too soon, though, since she hasn't earned it she takes it for granted. You have to spoonfeed yourself to her in the beginning and NOT talk about things that say you want this to be a relationship - if anything, she needs to get the feeling that you could bail at any minute if she decides not to act right. 3 dates? HA! Like I said, dude, I wait 90 DAYS before I even THINK about agreeing to have the conversation with her about relationship status, and that's only after SHE brings it up.

I agree 100% with Harry.

There's no magic "3 date" or "3 month" thing. If she's not totally comfortable with you at X date, it's a function of her interest in you specifically (and interest in other suitors, how interested you're acting), her desire (lack of) to be in a relationship, and quite simply the type of girl she is.

My last girlfirend" we dated without exclusiveness for like 2 months. We'd hang all weekend one week and the next weekend she'd be totally MIA. I'll admit, I wondered what she was doing, but I knew my only choice was to go out with my people, entertain more girls, and not worry about her. Before I knew it we were staying together nonstop and I was meeting her parents, etc. In all honesty, if I was worrying about her, I woulda ****ed it up even if we were hanging out. I woulda been a beta clingster.

Getting angry about it is a lose-lose. You could be cool about it and, who knows, 2 more dates and she's into you. Maybe you date a few more times and the wheels fall off. You don't know. But you can guarantee getting angry, "GTFO", she's gonna read as you being emotional and she's gonna dip because it makes her uncomfortable and she's wondering why you care so much after 3 dates.

So gents, in the beginning she initiated whatsapp communication all the time, her responses were fun and flirty and she cared about what I thought about her. Since our ''post-third-date-whatsapp-talk'' (i.e. my: ''I don't **** around when I'm into someone'' speech) communication has been very scarce and she never initiates anymore. She's busy with her finals at the moment (until the 28th of May), but she has plenty of time to be on Facebook/Whatsapp.

It's now been 5 days since we've talked.

What is the best modus operandi?
1) Should I occasionally send her these kind of messages to spike her interest?
http://www.theattractionforums.com/...securities-being-clingy-needy.html#post600213

Along the lines of: ''These giant turtles, they're eating me alive, farewell!''
And then like the dude in the post I linked to says: ''hook, reel and release''?

2) Or should I just not send anything at all and play dead until she contacts me?

 

[HoneyHitter]

Sorry to tell you, but there's only 1 option here: forget about her AND go find a new girl.

This girl lost respect for you.

So gents, in the beginning she initiated whatsapp communication all the time, her responses were fun and flirty and she cared about what I thought about her. Since our ''post-third-date-whatsapp-talk'' (i.e. my: ''I don't **** around when I'm into someone'' speech) communication has been very scarce and she never initiates anymore. She's busy with her finals at the moment (until the 28th of May), but she has plenty of time to be on Facebook/Whatsapp.

It's now been 5 days since we've talked.

What is the best modus operandi?
1) Should I occasionally send her these kind of messages to spike her interest?
http://www.theattractionforums.com/...securities-being-clingy-needy.html#post600213

Along the lines of: ''These giant turtles, they're eating me alive, farewell!''
And then like the dude in the post I linked to says: ''hook, reel and release''?

2) Or should I just not send anything at all and play dead until she contacts me?

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Sorry to tell you, but there's only 1 option here: forget about her AND go find a new girl.

This girl lost respect for you.

Mhm, I'm spinning plates. But I'm still not sure about letting her go completely.
Important detail I maybe forgot to mention is:

When we had that post-third-date-talk and I mentioned I don't **** around she first went ''Okay, easy there..'' and then proceeded with that there was a lot she still didn't know about me and that she didn't want to rush into a new relationship prematurely because it would only end in quote: ''eternal sadness''. She then went on to apologize and said she was being really stupid and that she had blown it with me because of this and that she just hadn't had good experiences with shy/timid ex-boyfriends and said she just hoped I wasn't like that. I then told her ''to the contrary, I'm pretty stubborn and temperamental.. got it from my mom''. She then said: ''ooh, temperamental is exciting, will u come show me in my bed now?''. We ended the whatsapp conversation and that's pretty much where the big drop in interest began (and her finals began around that time too).

 

[skinnyguy]

Low interest. Next.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Okay, I'm about to drop this one. I've had enough of her indifference.
Tried to raise some interest again after 2 weeks of NC. Texted her some fantasy story about giant turtles trying to eat me, her face being the last thing appearing for my eyes etc.

Me: Story about turtles trying to eat me
Her: Oh no
Me: Your face was the last thing to appear before my eyes, farewell
Her: Turtless???
Me: Yes do you like turtles?
Her: Only African land turtles
Me: What a coincidence, that's the species trying to eat me, I'l KO one and bring you one
Her:
Her: to pet
Me: Yeah sure.. I'll pet him while he's eating my toe..
Her: Are there really turtles? (I facepalmed gigantically at this, christ almighty)
Me: Yeah I'm on an undercover mission in the Sahara, but I fell down into a hole with murderous turtles
Her: What adventures
Me: So how did your final exam adventures go?

I think I'm going to reply: ''You don't have much to say do you?''
I don't care, I have other plates I'm spinning. Nothing to lose and I'd make clear to her that I'm not putting up with her **** and am gone.

What say you?

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

No one?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Place the following mantra in your head, memorize it, chant it, and burn it into your memory:

THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.

What results when you try to use the phone to do other things? See example above, typed out by you in conversation: it's coming off like you're trying too hard. Flirtatious things, jokes, etc. should be saved for when you actually see her in PERSON. Also, in case you forgot, women are relentless when it comes to having conversations. All the girls I date, THEY are the ones hitting me up on a daily or every-other-day basis with texts and phone calls. The fact that she didn't try to hit you up for 2 weeks speaks VOLUMES about her interest in you, especially since she's the one that reached out to you first.

Reality check: you may not be trying to put up with her shiznit, but she's already moved on, so she doesn't care. Not saying that to be harsh, but you're trying to put your eggs in her basket, and she's already removed the basket! The fact is, you tried to get too serious with her in your conversations, it was too soon, and it turned her off. Learn from it and make sure not to do this with future girls you meet, and move on.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

Place the following mantra in your head, memorize it, chant it, and burn it into your memory:

THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.

What results when you try to use the phone to do other things? See example above, typed out by you in conversation: it's coming off like you're trying too hard. Flirtatious things, jokes, etc. should be saved for when you actually see her in PERSON. Also, in case you forgot, women are relentless when it comes to having conversations. All the girls I date, THEY are the ones hitting me up on a daily or every-other-day basis with texts and phone calls. The fact that she didn't try to hit you up for 2 weeks speaks VOLUMES about her interest in you, especially since she's the one that reached out to you first.

Reality check: you may not be trying to put up with her shiznit, but she's already moved on, so she doesn't care. Not saying that to be harsh, but you're trying to put your eggs in her basket, and she's already removed the basket! The fact is, you tried to get too serious with her in your conversations, it was too soon, and it turned her off. Learn from it and make sure not to do this with future girls you meet, and move on.

Many thanks brother!
I really screwed it up again.. *sigh*

Forgot to mention by the way, the reason of why I initiated this whatsapp conversation after 2 weeks is that she sent me a Snapchat 2 days ago.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

I always find it hard not to say something to get closure, like: ''Have a nice summer holiday and good luck in *insert city where she's going to study*''.

I find it hard to just walk away. Anyone help me with that?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

1. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
2. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
3. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.

4. Forget snapchat/FB/whatswhat and all that sh!t too.

Get lost (from her). You'll go from zero to hero to DeNiro. Boom.

 

[Flakey_Woman_Suck]

1. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
2. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.
3. THE PHONE IS ONLY TO BE USED TO SET UP DATES.

4. Forget snapchat/FB/whatswhat and all that sh!t too.

Get lost (from her). You'll go from zero to hero to DeNiro. Boom.

This shall be my life mantra now.
From zero to hero with chicks you mean?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Basics of Attraction and Understanding Women:

What she says doesn't matter, what she DOES is everything.

Never qualify yourself to a girl, she should be qualifying to you - when she talked about shy/timid bf's you were jumping through her hoops trying to prove to her that you weren't like them…..bad. She should be seeking your approval.

Don't talk about not meeting other girls. Women are attracted to a challenge, when you take away the challenge, your dead in the water.

Women flake on you because you reveal your cards too soon. Be vague, don't reveal all your cards, and don't talk about feelings at all in the beginning.







PIMP