Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

You can dump on AD all you want....

Blue-eyed Devil

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2000
Messages
251
Reaction score
1
Originally posted by Smitty:
Blue Eyed Devil I feel exactly how you do. But instead of vanishing and being immature, just read whatever topics interest you, and don't pay attention to the miscellanous arguing. Because lets face it man, when there is strong pride and opiniated people, the personal arguments are inevitable.
you make a good point smitty. but, most every time a thread gets lots of responses, that is the result. talk about being immature, these people stop the advice and opinions about the subject at hand and go after one another, STUPID!! if i vanish it'll only be for a while anyway, just until i'm no longer sick of people being d!cks and the cycle will begin again
...
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
Originally posted by TommyD:
Personally, I've tried the total 'nice guy' approach. I've tried it for about 22+ years of my life. I've been in one really serious relationship... until she cheated on me.
Then you shouldn't stop, there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is a problem with being oblivious to the things around you.

Originally posted by TommyD:
That is why the DJ approach is so valuable to me... I can decipher whether or not a woman is interested enough in me in order for me to invest my time in her. Before if I'd ask a woman out, and she'd give me the run-around, I wouldn't quit. I'd still try to work her. Now I know not to bother. If I 'ask' a woman for her number, and she instead asks me for mine... I know to forget her asap.
The problem is that the "AD" approach is based on nothing more than generalizations. Now can you really say that 4 billion people on this planet act and react in the exact same way?! You could find a woman that asks for you number that is quite interested in you, and what will you do, leave her.

Originally posted by TommyD:
And for the record, I won't give flowers just for the sake of giving flowers. Women learn to take that kind of thing for granted. I used to give my ex flowers every time we went out... and I'd take her places like the theatre (not the movies, I mean the real theatre: like professional plays), all the time. I'd pick her up in the morning before school, carry her books, buy her lunch, dinner... make her breakfast... not every day mind you, but you'd think she'd appreciate that wouldn't you?
No, no i wouldn't because you were obviously smothering her. It's like running around saying "I LOVE YOU" to everyone you meet, eventually the words loose their meaning, and in your case all the romantic things that you tried to do lost mean and lost appreciation. The key is knowing when to draw the line between romance and excess.

Originally posted by TommyD:
Well, she likes not being treated like I treated her. I got old... my niceness got old. This new guy is not so nice... he stands up for himself, he doesn't do the things I did for her... and she is now engaged to him.
Being nice and being a push-over are two entirely different things, I've said that repeatedly. Your niceness didn't get old, your obsessing got old. Your lack of balls got old, and that's why she left.

NEXT…

Originally posted by Ross Jeffries:
But, if YOU start fighting dirty, I will feel under no moral obligation whatsoever to continue to stand there like a fool and take it. I'm going to toss out all the rules and fight to win, no matter what it takes.
Dating isn’t a fistfight; there are no broken bones, just broken egos. The eye for an eye technique never works, and it never will. By participating in vengeance all your really doing is sinking yourself to her level, and why would you want to do that. If someone is pulling sh1t then leave, don’t seek revenge because it truly is a double bladed sword.

Originally posted by Ross Jeffries:
For example, lots of women are more than happy to spend your money and time, and generally lead you on, letting you think you have a reward (sexual) coming. They talk about sex on the date, touch you a lot, and ACT very seductive. Then when you make a pass, they freak out and scream about what animals men are, how we're only after one thing.
I’m sorry but if you can’t see through women who play games, your either dead or in a coma. If you were to step back and analyze your relationship without the use of your smaller head you’d probably see it before you get used and abused. I have very little sympathy for guys who get led on by sex, if your main purpose in the dating scene is to have fun, rather than get laid then it’s very hard to get used. I don’t like players, and I never will.

Originally posted by Ross Jeffries:
And while we're on the subject of fair, is it "fair" that the good-looking and rich guys should get all the beautiful women while you and I have to settle for the dogs? Are you any less deserving of complete sexual satisfaction than some pretty boy who was blessed by genetics and Daddy's bank account?
YOU ARE MEN!! You decide who gets to go out with you, and if you choose gold diggers and tramps then you will get the treatment you deserve especially if all you want is sexual satisfaction.

Originally posted by Ross Jeffries:
Now, you may decide, the heck with it. If you can't at least like and respect a lady, and if you have to resort to tactics you learned in a book, then it just isn't worth it, and you will skip dealing with such loser females altogether.
That’s the most intelligent thing he said, and that is what it’s all about.

NEXT…

Originally posted by Ko-B:
that's the whole point. the DJ/AD/Marauder approach lets you know straight up if the woman likes you or not. Whether she's worth spending/wasting your time with.
It also disconnects you emotionally from her, that is the evil of the system which also kills it in relationship situations.


------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

Ryan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 26, 2000
Messages
926
Reaction score
28
Location
Canada in the house!!!!
Originally posted by TommyD:
The dating scene in highschool and college/university is a joke. It's so easy to get a date/girlfriend/lay. I just graduated university, but just wait unitl I get back to school for my grad course...
Get the Hell outta here man!!!!!!!!!

high school beetches????

Man, they r always w/there friends.......2 damn immature 2 be by themselves, strangely I find college girls easier.....they r more independent and are doing their own thing by themselves.....

Well Tommy D, Pleez tell me the secret of getting high school beetches then.....



------------------
Your Homeboy,

~R*Y*A*N~ (Physical Age = 17 Mental Age= 24)


1 "I have run out of ways to fail; now I can only succeed!!!"

2 "Life is a checkerboard, and the player opposite you is time. If you hesitate before moving, or neglect to move promptly,your men will be wiped off the board by time. You are playing against a partner who will not tolerate indecision!"

3 Visit my place>>> http://pub14.ezboard.com/bsouthafricanteens
 

Marauder

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2000
Messages
244
Reaction score
0
Location
Singapore
Devlar, with all due respect, I believe you are one of those very few gentlemen who knows where to draw the line between being nice & giving too much...good for you....however, there are many poor guys out there who do not have your kind of discipline, or rather the self-control over their emotions....and that's where AD's approach comes handy....to ingrain in them some emotional discipline.....to teach them to treat deserving women the right way....not to be overly nice to the extent of smothering them...& to reserve their emotional connection to women who have shown nothing but good attitudes over time.....

True we would miss out something genuinely good if we are to adhere strictly to AD's approach....but hey nothing is perfect...In that respect, we have to figure out on our own what 'approach' works best for us and do our own fine tuning....




------------------
Marauder

What that don't kill me only
makes me stronger...
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
Originally posted by Marauder:
Devlar, with all due respect, I believe you are one of those very few gentlemen who knows where to draw the line between being nice & giving too much...good for you....however
Thank you

Originally posted by Marauder:
there are many poor guys out there who do not have your kind of discipline, or rather the self-control over their emotions....and that's where AD's approach comes handy....to ingrain in them some emotional discipline.....
There is no such thing as emotional disipline, there never will be as long as we have such a thing as free thought. The whole point is to cope with emotions rather than trying to control them.

This is where ADs techniques create a serious downfall. Instead of letting someone express their feelings and emotions you try to contain them (MYSTERY and DISIPLINE), this stifles induviduality and can seriously damage creating that line of communication which is vital for a prosperous relationship.

Originally posted by Marauder:
to reserve their emotional connection to women who have shown nothing but good attitudes over time.....
Getting hurt is part of the war we wage. Your given a choise, fight and maybe get hurt but you might win. OR. Take this kind of advice and flee and never win the battle.

Originally posted by Marauder:
True we would miss out something genuinely good if we are to adhere strictly to AD's approach...
That's just my point



------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

Marauder

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2000
Messages
244
Reaction score
0
Location
Singapore
Devlar, to each his own...You have no problems doing it your way, fine....I am very comfortable doing it the AD way.....Ultimately, our goals converge.....to have a sweet honey for our life-companion....Good luck in your endeavours!




------------------
Marauder

What that don't kill me only
makes me stronger...
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
And best wishes to you Marauder

------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

Crazyman

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 6, 2000
Messages
157
Reaction score
0
Location
Newcastle , NSW , Australia
Having benn a "nice guy" and following ADs approach in different time i would say that niether is effective in getting women.

I would say that you would need a balance of
AD's and Devlars advice.

If you keep emotionally diconnected you will be seen as nit boyfriend material but this also applies if you are percieved to lack the balls to make decisions.

As a nice gut you get walked allover and get put under the thumb.
If you can't connect emmotionally you will be seen as immature and after her just for sex.
That is just the way things are.

no techniqie is a moraly unjust it is the m otives behind that the determine a methods morality

------------------
(24)
Fear is seductive.
Don`t let it be the love of your life
 

Adonis

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 30, 2000
Messages
994
Reaction score
11
Location
California
Originally posted by Marauder:
Devlar, with all due respect, I believe you are one of those very few gentlemen who knows where to draw the line between being nice & giving too much...good for you....however, there are many poor guys out there who do not have your kind of discipline, or rather the self-control over their emotions....and that's where AD's approach comes handy....to ingrain in them some emotional discipline.....to teach them to treat deserving women the right way....not to be overly nice to the extent of smothering them...& to reserve their emotional connection to women who have shown nothing but good attitudes over time.....

True we would miss out something genuinely good if we are to adhere strictly to AD's approach....but hey nothing is perfect...In that respect, we have to figure out on our own what 'approach' works best for us and do our own fine tuning....


Well, I tried to resist but here I am finally reading this... Sheesshh..

Here, here, The Devlar approach is not a bad approach as long as it doesn't turn into kissing a woman ass. There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving respect to woman as long as she gives you respect as well.

AD and Devlar are almost complete opposites - one is used to be nice guy and the other a used to be jerk - which road you choose is up to you. My only advice is: don't blindly ignore one advice because you are taking the other approach.


Let me ask you this... Do you enjoy treating a woman bad and jerking her around even if she keeps coming back to you?!? If you do(obviously you don't respect her), why do you want to go out with somebody you don't respect. Don't overdo the jerk thing. Just an input - coming from somebody who has been considered a Jerk/A-hole by his peers....
 

Anti-Dump

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2000
Messages
1,353
Reaction score
56
Location
United States
The sad truth is that MOST 'jerks' mello out with time and become mature and less jerky with time.

It's sad because MOST nice guys DON'T become 'jerky'. You ALMOST NEVER hear about a nice guy that is an Anti-Dump. A total convert . A total no-nonsense conversion case.

Nice guys stay the same. The jerk gets nicer (like Devlar) but the the sucker doesn't get jerkyer.
IT IS NOT RIGHT!

And that's the REASON I am here.
Alost nobody gets 'rottener' with time.

My purpose is to make nice guys 'tough as nails' if you know what I mean. If I can do it anybody can.

A few years back a guy I know heard me say "I have to learn to be mean." You know what he said?
"It's usually the other way around. Most people have to learn to be nice."

End of story.

Anti-Dump
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
This is how the evolution of a man goes in life. Well at least from my perspective

Everyone starts off as a chump, he does everything for a woman and gets pissed on in return.

Then he goes through a stage where he can't figure out what he's doing wrong, ignores it for a while and gets into another relationship that ends in the same way, he gets pissed on.

Now he's in turmoil, to him, he's doing everything right, but is always getting pissed on, he needs someone to blame. Then he goes through another stage, he takes a look around and sees that all them jerks are getting women, but he's not. He decides to emulate this proccess and becomes a full blown jerk. This is where a few get stuck and remain for the rest of their lives, having no chance of a stable relationship.

Now for those of us with a concience. You get to the point where getting women really doesn't matter as much as regaining your concience. You bring back your nice side and go looking for women that suit your needs.

You become a gentileman.

Now, the only reason i'm in this so called "war" is so people don't have to go through a time in their lives where they can't look at themselves in the mirror. That's my only beef.

------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

Crazyman

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 6, 2000
Messages
157
Reaction score
0
Location
Newcastle , NSW , Australia
I am picking the middle road the niceness with the confidence and abiltiy to walk away from anyone anytime anywhere.

The middle road is the best one.
AD most of my defense systems were what you described bassically a repulsion field that is selctive. This is useful but counter intuitive as it limits you opportunity for growth and expansion. Everyone needs to get out of thier comfort zones and stand up for themselves.

Devlar having been a nice guy in my last relationship which was 7 years ago i was under the thumb meaning i would do anything for her regardless of my sanity. You are right about your evolution of guys from nice guys to jerks to sopmething else.

------------------
(24)
Fear is seductive.
Don`t let it be the love of your life
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
Originally posted by Crazyman:
You are right about your evolution of guys from nice guys to jerks to sopmething else.
That's because I lived it and got to the point where my own image repulsed me, due to all the stuff I'd done.

AD may say that you don't hear anyone telling you to get "meaner" but I think it would be in everyones best intrests to do so. Stop letting women push you around, they don't find it attractive!! And it's a hell of alot better going from chump to gentilman, then from jerk to gentilman



------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

Marauder

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2000
Messages
244
Reaction score
0
Location
Singapore
Originally posted by Devlar:
That's because I lived it and got to the point where my own image repulsed me, due to all the stuff I'd done.

AD may say that you don't hear anyone telling you to get "meaner" but I think it would be in everyones best intrests to do so. Stop letting women push you around, they don't find it attractive!! And it's a hell of alot better going from chump to gentilman, then from jerk to gentilman


Be it from a Jerk to "A Nice Guy" or from a Nice Guy to a "Jerk"....Ultimately, we, & that includes AD & you Devlar, want to treat our women in a "Nice Guy" way as well as to have the attitude of a "Jerk" to stand up to them if they give us any ****/crap...Can I have a show of hands here?


------------------
Marauder

What that don't kill me only
makes me stronger...
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
You got my hand

------------------
Devlar

Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
 

IntermediateDonJuaner

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 1, 2001
Messages
933
Reaction score
1
Will you people stop f..king arguing.? everyone has their own opinions about how things can be done. As long as they can get what they want and fulfill their dreams,it's fine. what's the point of arguing unneccesary things here and making this whole place go haywire?

cut the crap guys. I believe you all are great Dj's and i wish to learn from you all.

Grow up!! Don't argue anymore!
 

Devlar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 6, 2000
Messages
365
Reaction score
0
Location
Calgary,Alberta,Canada
Wow, I was just in the neighbourhood and someone poped a post up from a year ago... You will all eventually, and hopefully move on to bigger and better things
 
Top