You aren't always being tested, but you are ALWAYS being judged

[jophil28]

But I'm working with Pediatricians right now and 90% of females reach and pass through all the developmental, social, coginitive, motor, and intellectual milestones that are required for growth.

..

Hey Dr Plastic, is is true that in the trade, ADHD stands for "Absent Dad Hopeless Discipline " ??

 

[STR8UP]

I was being deliberately argumentative to try to squeeze some more juice out of this particulare debate, however, NOT all women pull this stuff to test or judge. I have made the point many times that provocative and dramatic behavior from women is NOT testing for evaluative purposes, it is habitual. The faked-up demands and dramatic behaviors are nothing more that cheap attention seeking tactics. There is NO "test" as such, there is no screening in progress and there is no judging in the sense that we are discussing here, and therefore NO assessment of you as a man .
THis behavior is what she learned and adopted ,as a teenager, to get attention. Women love creating drama because it stimulates EMOTIONS and, as the author of this farce, she gets to write and direct and star in her own little 10 minute movie.
THis stuff works for them so they do does more of it. It is that Simple..

I will concur with you about the attention seeking element of this type of behavior and that it can be habitual, but I still hold firm on the fact that you are being judged nonetheless. Just as Keto said.....you are being judged every day of your life by men and women both.

Fact of the matter is that you are being judged and sized up hundreds of times every day. From your body posture to the way you speak to the way you react to situations or the situations you create- people are keeping a tally sheet. Most of the time what they see in you is basically what you see in yourself, and they will reflect this back to you.

 

[penkitten]

Do they ever?

some do.

 

[jophil28]

... but I still hold firm on the fact that you are being judged nonetheless. Just as Keto said.....you are being judged every day of your life by men and women both.

Fact of the matter is that you are being judged and sized up hundreds of times every day. From your body posture to the way you speak to the way you react to situations or the situations you create- people are keeping a tally sheet. Most of the time what they see in you is basically what you see in yourself, and they will reflect this back to you.

I do agree that we are being "judged" every moment by everyone with whom we come in contact. Their opinion of us and our character is continually being updated by their observation and assessment of our actions. However this is not the same as "testing" ,where a person sets a trap for another person - a hoop to jump though or an obstacle to climb over. THis is the worst of women's tactics.

Having a woman "test" you is being subjected to a contrived ordeal which is designed to cause you failure and so puts her in the masterful position.

Being judged very different - it is fair enough because it is a benign observational process and is not tactically created .

Perhaps this post in degenerating into semantics a bit.

 

[Bonhomme]

I haven't read past the initial posts, but feel there's no need to regarding the main premise of this thread. They're right on. It's so simple, really.

 

[Bonhomme]

Reading on ... regarding the relative lack of development of male children, I think we should look to environmental toxicity issues.

Consider that very few salmon in some polluted waters are being born properly male. Consider that men's sperm counts have been decreasing while women have been reaching puberty earlier and earlier. It appears that male hormones are most negatively affected by environmental issues -- not to mention all the female hormones in mass-produced meats.

 

[STR8UP]

There's also research that shows that a womans visual field/peripheral vision is far greater than a mans, so basically they can check you out while looking at something else. A man usually slowly and carefully checks out by scanning from top to bottom with his focus on the target.

Also, on average there's more cortical connections/associations/pathways to the amygdala which would explain why they experience fear and stress at much higher levels.

It's fascinating to link up these medical facts with scientific theories about mate selection.

I never knew that about women's peripheral vision. Reminds me of that scene in 40 Year Old Virgin "Use your perRIFerULs!"

Man, wouldn't it be interesting to be able to walk into a room just ONE time and hear all of the women's thoughts, like in that one goofy chick flick? I'm sure we would ALL be shocked to know how many women are checking us out and what they are thinking when they make an initial assessment.

 

[ketostix]

I think 90% of game is constructing the appropriate body language that says

This is part of what all I bundle under appearance: looks, body language etc. I put appearance at about 70% of the cause of attraction.

If you have the body language of a CEO of a Fortune 500 Company you will get laid like a rock star...

I would agree if you mean also you look younger and more attractive than a typical CEO. But I would say instead of a CEO if you have the body language (and facial expressions) of a great actor and at least the threshold of the necessary looks you could get laid like a rock star. Remember I said I put appearance at 70%, and of that 70% I put looks at about 40% and nonverbals at 30%. This is getting complicated, basically I weigh looks as a little more important than nonverbals for girls when choosing you for sex.

there are so many little nuances that woman pick up on...

Yes, they really nitpick over nuances, and generally make a huge impression one way or to the other extreme, almost binary black or white judgement. They're not really mindreaders as much as nitpickers.

Anyways.. not just body language.. inflections of voice tone, facial expressionns, facial movements.. this is the kind of sh1t that we should be working on mastering.

Yes, I consider the above plus physical looks to almost totally encompass appearance. I think it's at least 50-60% of the game. Most of what we do here is mindset and word choice. I think word choice is really only about 10% of it. Although, mindset can affect body language and word choice might be small but it is usually make or break it.

Gotta be in the field though! This is the type of game I am trying to master.

Very true, you have to work on and practice these things you've realized are necessary to be successful. I'm glad to see that a physician is saying things that I long ago came to the conclusion of myself too. You'd be surprised how many people will say appearance doesn't matter.

 

[Micheal Moon]

Well, body language is extremely important to women. In my psychology class, I learned that women are more adept at reading body language than men are. Hence why as a man its important to give off the right "aura" around them because women are quicker to judge you based on that.

Its true as far as how emotional women are. In a typical day they speak almost twice as much as men and they typically smile more and emote more facial expressions. As with anything there are exceptions of course but that's generally the case.

 

[STR8UP]

Its true as far as how emotional women are. In a typical day they speak almost twice as much as men and they typically smile more and emote more facial expressions.

Women consciously AND unconsciously judge people more than men do.

If you think about it that's probably part of the reason their attraction mechanism is so fickle.

If men walked around and picked everything apart, discussed with all of their friends, and then went to sleep at night and had dreams about a particular woman, we would be just as wishy washy and indecisive.

It's all about the swirl of emotions. Man, I wish I could catch a buzz off of thinking about some stupid sh!t like "Does he like me? I don't know. I think he does....but then again, he was checking out that other girl today...."

 

[Micheal Moon]

Women consciously AND unconsciously judge people more than men do.

If you think about it that's probably part of the reason their attraction mechanism is so fickle.

If men walked around and picked everything apart, discussed with all of their friends, and then went to sleep at night and had dreams about a particular woman, we would be just as wishy washy and indecisive.

It's all about the swirl of emotions. Man, I wish I could catch a buzz off of thinking about some stupid sh!t like "Does he like me? I don't know. I think he does....but then again, he was checking out that other girl today...."

This is pretty much bang on. Damn, that would be amazing if we could see that.

Another thing too, women naturally make more eye contact and hold it longer than men do.

That's one thing I'm working on. There's been some situations where girls sometimes hold it for a really long time. Sometimes I'm thinking like " Holy sh#$, when is she gonna stop?" Once you look away first she doesn't look back as much, (although if she's really attracted she will).

theory I have with this, is that when you hold eye contact more than usual than other men do, your'e probably seen as more manly. So the only options are to hold it until she looks away or hold eye contact, smile, then approach.

 

[ketostix]

Women consciously AND unconsciously judge people more than men do.

If you think about it that's probably part of the reason their attraction mechanism is so fickle.

If men walked around and picked everything apart, discussed with all of their friends, and then went to sleep at night and had dreams about a particular woman, we would be just as wishy washy and indecisive.

It's all about the swirl of emotions. Man, I wish I could catch a buzz off of thinking about some stupid sh!t like "Does he like me? I don't know. I think he does....but then again, he was checking out that other girl today...."

Yeah, and this is why I think even if you pass the physical attraction test and the personality test, so she's interested in you, but even still you can rarely rely on the girl to show a high interest. I believe most women have to be lead and convinced to act. If she won't allow you to lead her, then you can conclude that she doesn't have sufficient interest in you or is just wasting your time regardless.

 

[ketostix]

Another thing too, women naturally make more eye contact and hold it longer than men do.

I assume you mean women do so in conversations and especially with people they know right? Because I would say women make less eye contact and will break it away first with most males she passes by through out the day. This goes to women using their periphial vision more and making fast judgements with just a glance.

 

[STR8UP]

^^ Are you reading the same books as me? I think you are!


hehe, STR8UP, both of us have mental Middle Eastern Chicks we want soooo bad. They are so exotic and so rare and so beautiful... and so hard to get!! If we could only read minds!

For anyone who cares-

As far as I'm concerned it's a done deal with my Middle Eastern chick. Talked to her Tuesday afternoon for a few minutes, cut it short and told her I had to get back to work, she says, "OK I'll call you, probably later tonight". Got a weird text from her later that night, looked like it was originally sent to her and she forwarded it to me, something about a graduation party for someone on Saturday. It was definitely forwarded and I didn't know what to make of it, other than maybe she was going to call later and ask if I wanted to go or something.

No call that night, so I texted her the next day asking if she had sent me something by mistake. Haven't heard from her since.

Who knows what the hell is up. Our mutual friend has told me numerous times how unreliable she is and how she acts strange at times, but whatever it is I'm not putting any more effort into her.

 

[Z Man]

...

If men walked around and picked everything apart, discussed with all of their friends, and then went to sleep at night and had dreams about a particular woman, we would be just as wishy washy and indecisive...

I just had an "a ha" moment( except for the wishy-washy part ).

:nervous:

btw, this thread is Gold! I always try to park away from everbody else's car and I don't mind walking a ways to the door. I don't like to conform by parking close like everybody else, plus I know where my car is when I'm done shopping for food, etc.

But wouldn't you know, I can't find my car when I come out of the store, cause of all the spaces to park, everybody has to go and park next to me, as if my car is gonna get lonely or something!

 

[ketostix]

For anyone who cares-

As far as I'm concerned it's a done deal with my Middle Eastern chick. Talked to her Tuesday afternoon for a few minutes, cut it short and told her I had to get back to work, she says, "OK I'll call you, probably later tonight". Got a weird text from her later that night, looked like it was originally sent to her and she forwarded it to me, something about a graduation party for someone on Saturday. It was definitely forwarded and I didn't know what to make of it, other than maybe she was going to call later and ask if I wanted to go or something.

No call that night, so I texted her the next day asking if she had sent me something by mistake. Haven't heard from her since.

Who knows what the hell is up. Our mutual friend has told me numerous times how unreliable she is and how she acts strange at times, but whatever it is I'm not putting any more effort into her.

Well it doesn't sound like you made definitive plans with her but regardless she had another chance and ample opportunity to call you. She does need to be cut off.