Adonis
Master Don Juan
Most guys tackle the hardest challenge of their life: "How to win her love." Indeed, most women do search for "love" from a man. However, she won't find what she's looking for in a man that doesn't even love himself. There's a lot of guys crying over the fact that they lack the power to approach women and get what they want. So they search for that "magic method and technique" on how to win women completely oblivious to the fact that the first steps on winning women is confidence. What is confidence? My own definition of this: "I love myself above all!"
If you can be conceited then be conceited. You must think of yourself as better than her in order to win her. I know it sounds self-centered and harsh but that's the game of life - only the most confident man survives. It's like a boxing match - think of her as the opponent (this is just an anology, please don't actually box her), if you are scared and lack the confidence she will beat you down to a pulp and you'll loose. On the other hand if you really have the confidence and love yourself enough you will win. Yet for so many people, "learning to love yourself" does not seem so "easy to achieve." For some of us, genuine self-love seems so elusive, so much harder to grasp than we expected.
Above I mentioned about the importance of loving yourself, I would like to give some practical suggestions - some first steps -- on how to learn to love yourself. Earlier I wrote a tip abou the importance of being selfish, take heed - if you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, you'll sink faster than the Titanic.
First steps to self-love:
Stop critisizing yourself - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Praise yourself more often - Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. Recognize your negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
This may sound strange but try it. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you!" Love yourself and do it now. Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now - and do the best you can.
The possibilities are infinite for us to love ourselves. An important way to love yourself is to nourish and care for your body: eat healthy foods and exercise regularly, I can't stress this out enough. You may want to "treat" yourself to things like a vacation, a gym membership, or if you so desire a pedicure (*it's a joke). What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in. Taking breaks and having fun are important, as well. Whether alone, with a friend, or with a partner, you may want to have a night out on the town: go out and hit the clubs, go dance with beautiful women without the intention of getting into their skirts. Perhaps you enjoy taking time to paint or to write. These are just a few ideas... You can put your own imagination to work...
Yet another way you can learn to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. Take some time to come up with the qualities that you most want to embody. Choose about two or three to focus on for any one period of time. Then try this for at least a month: Repeat those qualities daily, telling yourself that you are those things, already. For example, take time to tell yourself, each day, "I am happy and successful" or "I am beautiful sexy" or "Damn my body hot": I feel healthy and in balance" or "I'm more than worthy of her" or "I am powerful and self-confident." You may want to write out these affirmations and post them someplace where you will see them regularly: on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator door, by the clock in your bedroom, atop your computer monitor, or somewhere in front of your desk at work. Even if, at first, you feel silly or uncomfortable repeating or reading these phrases, you may find that you grow into and become these qualities. You may even realize that you embodied them all along; you just had not realized it.
Don't just "catch yourself being wrong." "Catch yourself being right." In other words, don't just catch the voice of your inner critic, and stop it from beating up on you. When you do something well, or when you find yourself saying the right things to yourself or to others, be sure to reward yourself: acknowledge yourself verbally, give yourself a pat on the back, or treat yourself to something special.
So, go ahead. Love yourself. You will discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you. This is a win-win situation. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you encounter, as well as your own life. You can't lose! Just Do It!
[This message has been edited by Adonis (edited 07-05-2001).]
If you can be conceited then be conceited. You must think of yourself as better than her in order to win her. I know it sounds self-centered and harsh but that's the game of life - only the most confident man survives. It's like a boxing match - think of her as the opponent (this is just an anology, please don't actually box her), if you are scared and lack the confidence she will beat you down to a pulp and you'll loose. On the other hand if you really have the confidence and love yourself enough you will win. Yet for so many people, "learning to love yourself" does not seem so "easy to achieve." For some of us, genuine self-love seems so elusive, so much harder to grasp than we expected.
Above I mentioned about the importance of loving yourself, I would like to give some practical suggestions - some first steps -- on how to learn to love yourself. Earlier I wrote a tip abou the importance of being selfish, take heed - if you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, you'll sink faster than the Titanic.
First steps to self-love:
Stop critisizing yourself - Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive. Praise yourself more often - Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. Recognize your negatives - Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
This may sound strange but try it. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you!" Love yourself and do it now. Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now - and do the best you can.
The possibilities are infinite for us to love ourselves. An important way to love yourself is to nourish and care for your body: eat healthy foods and exercise regularly, I can't stress this out enough. You may want to "treat" yourself to things like a vacation, a gym membership, or if you so desire a pedicure (*it's a joke). What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in. Taking breaks and having fun are important, as well. Whether alone, with a friend, or with a partner, you may want to have a night out on the town: go out and hit the clubs, go dance with beautiful women without the intention of getting into their skirts. Perhaps you enjoy taking time to paint or to write. These are just a few ideas... You can put your own imagination to work...
Yet another way you can learn to love yourself is by being in the practice of using positive affirmations. Take some time to come up with the qualities that you most want to embody. Choose about two or three to focus on for any one period of time. Then try this for at least a month: Repeat those qualities daily, telling yourself that you are those things, already. For example, take time to tell yourself, each day, "I am happy and successful" or "I am beautiful sexy" or "Damn my body hot": I feel healthy and in balance" or "I'm more than worthy of her" or "I am powerful and self-confident." You may want to write out these affirmations and post them someplace where you will see them regularly: on the bathroom mirror, on the refrigerator door, by the clock in your bedroom, atop your computer monitor, or somewhere in front of your desk at work. Even if, at first, you feel silly or uncomfortable repeating or reading these phrases, you may find that you grow into and become these qualities. You may even realize that you embodied them all along; you just had not realized it.
Don't just "catch yourself being wrong." "Catch yourself being right." In other words, don't just catch the voice of your inner critic, and stop it from beating up on you. When you do something well, or when you find yourself saying the right things to yourself or to others, be sure to reward yourself: acknowledge yourself verbally, give yourself a pat on the back, or treat yourself to something special.
So, go ahead. Love yourself. You will discover that, the more you love yourself, the more you will be able to give love to others - and the more others will want to be around you and give back to you. This is a win-win situation. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you encounter, as well as your own life. You can't lose! Just Do It!
[This message has been edited by Adonis (edited 07-05-2001).]
