Would this be "creepy"?

[tihash]

I was on a first date last night. The waitress at the bar when she comes up to us says, "I know you from somewhere!" It turns out the waitress and I used to work together in a restaurant back when I was in college over 10 years ago.

The waitress is super friendly, all smiles, etc. My dates makes a comment that it is clear the waitress "really likes you."

I went to the bathroom at one point, but did not see the waitress. My date never left to go to the bathroom. I never got a chance to talk to the waitress alone and get her number.

When she brings our check, the waitress tells my date it was nice meeting her (even though I never introduced them) and hugs me and says, "Let's hope we don't go another 10 years without running into each other" or something along those lines.

I did discretely put my business card in with my tip for the waitress. It has my business number and email on it.

She has not called, but girls usually do not.

QUESTION: Should I go back to the bar for the sole purpose of talking to the waitress and asking her out? If so, should I call first to make sure she is working. It is a restaurant/bar, so I wouldn't want to just hang out there. It is not a place I frequent. Or do I just let it go...

 

[lorekeeper]

how about taking out a friend as a "business dinner"-meeting?

finish dinner/drinks, and then when your friend leaves, small chat with her and ask her out.

 

[SexyMofo]

That was weak.

What you should have done was tell her:

"Give me your number, we'll get together."

 

[tihash]

I didn't ask for her number in front of my date because my date could perceive the attraction. I made out with my date in the parking lot and got her to follow me home where she gave me head. So going back that night was not an option.

In any event, what is done is done. My question is, what to do now...

 

[samspade]

Ha! Nice job getting the head dude.

I'd say you've set yourself up nicely. The business card play was a little weak, but you can go back under different pretenses and get her number, because it sounds like you've piqued her interest a little bit at least.

This might be one of those slowly-paced things though. That is, don't hurry back there. Do it next week, and be non-chalant. That is, don't look like you were in a hurry to get back and see her again.

 

[jophil28]

The waitess sounds like she is up for a one-on-one reunion.

 

[Falcon25]

You should have asked her number infront of the first date. You were having dinner with a stranger. This would raise the stranger's interest in you as well. This was weak. You should have asked that number. The only time this would have been offensive, is if the girl you were having dinner was your GIRLFRIEND. Very weak.

 

[tihash]

^^^

Thanks for your criticism. The next time, 10 years from now, I run into someone I haven't seen in a decade while on a first date with someone else I will make sure to ask for another girl's number in front of my date. Especially after my date comments that the other girl is attracted to me.

But what I would really welcome is input as to the best way to handle it now, because, as I have said, what is done is done.

BTW, thanks to Epsi, Samspade, and lorekeeper for their advice as to what to do NOW.

 

[Falcon25]

What do you mean what to do now? Stop being a puvsy and go into that restaurant and ask her number. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that women most of the time will not call you. Go in there and take control. What the fuvk man?

 

[Powerlifter]

Girls do call if they have high interest trust me.

Leaving a business card is cool I do it all the time with no problems but only thing remember to just make sure your business card isn't so called all business but a humorous card to get her to giggles just use your creativity.

Girls, ladies, women, babes love to laugh so don't make yourself look all Mr. Business that will turn them off big time for they will see you as nothing more a big braggart and actually even though your not as a faketard...

So keeping humorous business cards will get you farther than being all Mr. Business if that is what you are doing when leaving a business card.

Then when she calls you from the humorous card then you can have the convo of what businesss your actually a part of while you are out for a date with her.

High interest girls, ladies, women and babies will always go there in asking you what you do for a living never fails. Then you can casually tell them how you have build a business from scratch or however you would like in how you started your business.

Rollo the Master Moderator actually made a thread on this about imagination in which I agree 150%.

Don't leave all your cards on the table so to speak... leave something to her imagination make them wonder about you and you will come out ahead for women love to wonder what kind of man she is getting involved with which keeps her interested and juicy.

Best of luck.

Powerlifter

 

[dj_china]

I think you could've just asked for the number in front of your date. You can always just pass it off as being just friends with her, and she really doesn't have the groudns to become a huge ***** about it. If anything it might make her jealous and work in your favor.

 

[Fantasy]

I think you could've just asked for the number in front of your date. You can always just pass it off as being just friends with her, and she really doesn't have the groudns to become a huge ***** about it. If anything it might make her jealous and work in your favor.

I have seen acts like this turn into pissing contest between a man and woman and the women seem to always win. They will show you just how much they can throw their tw*t around and get attention too.

 

[Falcon25]

I think you could've just asked for the number in front of your date. You can always just pass it off as being just friends with her, and she really doesn't have the groudns to become a huge ***** about it. If anything it might make her jealous and work in your favor.

That's what I tried to say an hour ago.

 

[jophil28]

NEVER give a woman your number...especially your biz card...that's very weak...ALWAYS be the man and ask for the number...always.

In this case, you should've left her nothing...instead, you could've dropped off your date and returned to the bar and asked her if she had plans for the weekend, etc.

^^That is what I would have done. Or better still, go back there in a few days and catch up with her after she gets off work.

The suggestion from some of you that he should have asked the waitress for her # in front of his date disturbs me. That is classless behavior, gentlemen.
It shows no respect for either of those women and it is likely to backfire by creating the impression in both women that you just grab whomever and whatever you want regardless of the circumstances. Not MM behavior.

IF any (or most) of you aspire to eventually meeting and dating a quality woman who treats you with admiration and respect, then you need to lead by example. You cannot expect to get what you are not willing to give.

There endeth the sermon.

 

[zekko]

The suggestion from some of you that he should have asked the waitress for her # in front of his date disturbs me. That is classless behavior, gentlemen.
It shows no respect for either of those women and it is likely to backfire by creating the impression in both women that you just grab whomever and whatever you want regardless of the circumstances. Not MM behavior.

IF any (or most) of you aspire to eventually meeting and dating a quality woman who treats you with admiration and respect, then you need to lead by example. You cannot expect to get what you are not willing to give.

Could not agree more with this.

If someone started a thread like this with the situation reversed, and the girl swapped numbers with some guy in front of you, what would the response be? People would be howling disrespect and that the girl disqualified herself for anything other than being used for sex.

 

[Kailex]

You should have asked her number infront of the first date. You were having dinner with a stranger. This would raise the stranger's interest in you as well. This was weak. You should have asked that number. The only time this would have been offensive, is if the girl you were having dinner was your GIRLFRIEND. Very weak.

NO.

Don't we advocate to not tolerate behaviors that woman would easily do to us?

So what if you were the person at the date and it's a male waiter that is serving and your date asks him for the number?
Sure, you could shrug it off as a low quality woman, but it's STILL disrespectful, NO MATTER WHAT.

I'm sorry, but if I couldn't stand it coming from a woman, I wouldn't do it myself.

And what happens if you misread the situation as well? What happens if you ask that waitress for her number in front of your first date and she says: Umm, aren't you on a date?

Or what if she says NO?

All you managed to do was lower YOUR value in BOTH of their eyes.

Is that something you TRULY want to risk?

Tihash was better off doing what he did.
And to be honest, I like lorekeeper's suggestion. Tihash should go back with a friend or by himself and just eat there again and THEN ask for the number. But definitely DON'T be just asking other people for their phone numbers in front of your date.




To the OP, NEVER give out your phone number. And you know this, I've seen your approach journal.

 

[samspade]

I put in my $.02 above, but I have to chime in and agree with those who say asking for her number in front of the other girl is bad form, and not very DJ.

Creating mystery, sexual tension, and competition anxiety are all important weapons in the Don Juan's arsenal. A$$h0le game has its place, too. But you undermine your efforts by overreaching or trying to be "too" DJ. I get that the theory is that she'll see how confident and brazen you are by asking another girl for digits while on your date with her, thus making her even wetter for you, but this is crossing a perilous line. It's perfectly okay and recommended to be suave with your waitress and maybe even a little playful, to demonstrate your confidence and ease with all females. Likewise it's advisable when asked to admit that you're "dating around" to leave the impression that you have options. But jumping at the opportunity to land a chick's number when your focus should be on your date is amateur, and a little AFC. In a way, the waitress is testing you - she sees what you've got going on, and wants to see how pliable you are. Women do this all the time, and some will drop you like you've got herpes once they see how easy it was to divide your attention.

Remember that equivocation is totally unattractive to women - in this case probably to both women involved. It's a behavioral cousin to indecisiveness. In situations like this, you stick to the horse you bet on, and do so with conviction. Both women will find this far more appealing - which means, in the long run, you'll create better options for yourself (strange as it seems).