Read this first
http://www.sosuave.com/doclove/doc136.htm
I once headed into a very similar discussion with a chick. I said to her that her response wasn't as enthusiastic as i had expected, and that it makes me suspect that you're rather not looking forward to it.
She of course denies it and asks me what kind of response i expected. I kinda acted exagerrated being blasted away by a date offer, and then said that i admit it's nonsense to guess what you're thinking. I then said i'm still going to make you have fun.
She did show up and we did have good time, and she even followed up, so it ends well. But thinking back, i realize there's another way to go about it, and to really test her interest level. In fact, it's very simple and very obvious.
Here's what i observe when you ask her out and she doesn't react all that interested:
It seems somehow she assumes she won't have fun at the date. Why? Let's say it's because you haven't presented yourself as an exciting, fun person. Of course, the other side of the coin is that she doesn't think she can still have fun despite your inert ass, or even on her own, albeit less maybe.
Anyway, it still doesn't mean anything if she doesn't act interested. Why? Well, if you point out that she isn't being interested, you concede that there's reason, however strange, for her disinterest. Maybe it's her low confidence, maybe it's yours, maybe it's the weather, who knows? In fact, i'm sure there's always reason things could go wrong, like your mounting guilt about not writing your granny could crush your confidence. Or you could get so anxious about getting diarrhea that you do.
The whole idea of confidence is not to let that discourage you, to fear only the fear, and not the form it comes in. Right? I mean, i'm not wrong am i? Right?! Aww c'mon, man!
Right, so if you're confident that you're going to have the best time, despite yourself and her and the terrorists, and she isn't so confident, then you'll have to make her confident too! And simply going ahead with the date in confidence might not be the best way.
Now i haven't tried this but i'm sure it will work when i do. (all i gotta do is straight out aim for someone's ***** shield to find out, right? uugh! *shiver*)
If you're confident and ready to have a good time and to show her a good time, and she isn't and doesn't want to say no, just test her by making her arrange the date. Dead simple.
After all, and tell her this, if she's really does want to go out with you and have a good time, i'm sure she'd pick the best places and activities she knows and even pick you up for the date.
If she goes along, then either she's probably setting you up for a big embarassment by taking another guy out instead. Or maybe you'll get a whopper instead. But if she really is interested by the time of the date, well then... bingo! Either way, she'll have to enjoy herself or concede that she's boring.
And if she refuses to arrange the date, you can still go with usual procedure and get a whopper (or maybe a fun date if you're lucky). Anyway, if she can't enjoy herself with you then that, like always, is her loss.
Anyway. Make her ask you out! She how she reacts, get a neg-hit her if you can, like about how there must be really few men that meet her quality if she isn't used to asking men out. "I hope you haven't given up yet!"
Well let's get to it, shall we?
[This message has been edited by DJ Ascent (edited 10-18-2002).]
http://www.sosuave.com/doclove/doc136.htm
I once headed into a very similar discussion with a chick. I said to her that her response wasn't as enthusiastic as i had expected, and that it makes me suspect that you're rather not looking forward to it.
She of course denies it and asks me what kind of response i expected. I kinda acted exagerrated being blasted away by a date offer, and then said that i admit it's nonsense to guess what you're thinking. I then said i'm still going to make you have fun.
She did show up and we did have good time, and she even followed up, so it ends well. But thinking back, i realize there's another way to go about it, and to really test her interest level. In fact, it's very simple and very obvious.
Here's what i observe when you ask her out and she doesn't react all that interested:
It seems somehow she assumes she won't have fun at the date. Why? Let's say it's because you haven't presented yourself as an exciting, fun person. Of course, the other side of the coin is that she doesn't think she can still have fun despite your inert ass, or even on her own, albeit less maybe.
Anyway, it still doesn't mean anything if she doesn't act interested. Why? Well, if you point out that she isn't being interested, you concede that there's reason, however strange, for her disinterest. Maybe it's her low confidence, maybe it's yours, maybe it's the weather, who knows? In fact, i'm sure there's always reason things could go wrong, like your mounting guilt about not writing your granny could crush your confidence. Or you could get so anxious about getting diarrhea that you do.
The whole idea of confidence is not to let that discourage you, to fear only the fear, and not the form it comes in. Right? I mean, i'm not wrong am i? Right?! Aww c'mon, man!
Right, so if you're confident that you're going to have the best time, despite yourself and her and the terrorists, and she isn't so confident, then you'll have to make her confident too! And simply going ahead with the date in confidence might not be the best way.
Now i haven't tried this but i'm sure it will work when i do. (all i gotta do is straight out aim for someone's ***** shield to find out, right? uugh! *shiver*)
If you're confident and ready to have a good time and to show her a good time, and she isn't and doesn't want to say no, just test her by making her arrange the date. Dead simple.
After all, and tell her this, if she's really does want to go out with you and have a good time, i'm sure she'd pick the best places and activities she knows and even pick you up for the date.
If she goes along, then either she's probably setting you up for a big embarassment by taking another guy out instead. Or maybe you'll get a whopper instead. But if she really is interested by the time of the date, well then... bingo! Either way, she'll have to enjoy herself or concede that she's boring.
And if she refuses to arrange the date, you can still go with usual procedure and get a whopper (or maybe a fun date if you're lucky). Anyway, if she can't enjoy herself with you then that, like always, is her loss.
Anyway. Make her ask you out! She how she reacts, get a neg-hit her if you can, like about how there must be really few men that meet her quality if she isn't used to asking men out. "I hope you haven't given up yet!"
Well let's get to it, shall we?
[This message has been edited by DJ Ascent (edited 10-18-2002).]
