Women showing high IOI's but refuses to get physical

[mr. kennedy]

Long story short it's a Tinder girl, but this one has personality and is fun to be around.

1st date was a coffee date. I fit her in that night between work and dinner plans with my friends. I told her I have 1.5 hours in between take it if you want. She did and we got along well. She was wearing short skirt and her boobs were popping out.

5 days later I proposed drinks. She couldn't that night because she already made plans with her friends but countered with 3 other days. I chose one of them. We met at the bar (she showed up 15 minutes early and with heels like I told her too and with a very sexy dress). Convo was smooth. She even was adamant to pay her share. I brought her over to my place afterwards. Did kino and she didn't pull back. Talked some more at my place but when I went for the kiss she backs out and says I just cant kiss someone I don't know very well. I need to feel like it's going somewhere first. I answered I understand then said I have to go to bed now goodbye.

When she got back home she sends me a text thanking me for the great night we spent together, how fun it was and wishing me a great day at work with smiley faces all over.

Am I wasting my time with this chick? 2 dates in and not even a make out session. I can only imagine how long before a lay session. Should I cut my losses or try one more time? She keeps wearing sexy attire making me think she isn't conservative yet acts conservative when it's time to get physical.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Convo was smooth. She even was adamant to pay her share. I brought her over to my place afterwards. Did kino and she didn't pull back. Talked some more at my place but when I went for the kiss she backs out and says I just cant kiss someone I don't know very well. I need to feel like it's going somewhere first. I answered I understand then said I have to go to bed now goodbye.

Whoaaaa!! Slow down there pal. You're going to blow this if you don't take a step back and pay attention to her actions. She came over to your place and she paid her share. She feels very comfortable around you and is attracted to you, but she thinks you're too eager to pump and dump. Then it sounded like you got a little butthurt. I hope your tone was compassionate when you told her to leave...

When she got back home she sends me a text thanking me for the great night we spent together, how fun it was and wishing me a great day at work with smiley faces all over.

Am I wasting my time with this chick? 2 dates in and not even a make out session. I can only imagine how long before a lay session. Should I cut my losses or try one more time? She keeps wearing sexy attire making me think she isn't conservative yet acts conservative when it's time to get physical.

You still don't have a handle on this yet. Stop focusing on the sex and focus on what she is showing you. She texted your right away thanking you for a great night. Your response should be the next morning saying you had a nice time too and would like to take her out to a middle class restaurant (not to expensive) for dinner. Don't tell her you're going somewhere after, but plan on going bowling, drinks at a bar with darts or a pool table, or a romantic walk. Find an opportunity after dinner to get a little more physical.

The problem is you are way too focused on getting in her pants right away. She can sense that. You're too blinded to see that this chick digs you a lot. She may even stick around for a couple more weeks before your horndog ways turn her off. You need to reward her compliance (she came over to YOUR place on the 2nd date, dude), with no expectation of sex. However, do plan the logistics so that it close to either your place or hers, so if the night goes well the opportunity will be there. If you take her out one time and actually wait for her to kino you first, I bet you she'll pull her pants down for you the next time you see her.

Don't be in such a rush, guy.

 

[Trump]

Long story short it's a Tinder girl, but this one has personality and is fun to be around.

1st date was a coffee date. I fit her in that night between work and dinner plans with my friends. I told her I have 1.5 hours in between take it if you want. She did and we got along well. She was wearing short skirt and her boobs were popping out.

5 days later I proposed drinks. She couldn't that night because she already made plans with her friends but countered with 3 other days. I chose one of them. We met at the bar (she showed up 15 minutes early and with heels like I told her too and with a very sexy dress). Convo was smooth. She even was adamant to pay her share. I brought her over to my place afterwards. Did kino and she didn't pull back. Talked some more at my place but when I went for the kiss she backs out and says I just cant kiss someone I don't know very well. I need to feel like it's going somewhere first. I answered I understand then said I have to go to bed now goodbye.

When she got back home she sends me a text thanking me for the great night we spent together, how fun it was and wishing me a great day at work with smiley faces all over.

Am I wasting my time with this chick? 2 dates in and not even a make out session. I can only imagine how long before a lay session. Should I cut my losses or try one more time? She keeps wearing sexy attire making me think she isn't conservative yet acts conservative when it's time to get physical.

Normally would agree with EyeB but no make out in 2 dates with a TINDER girl? You got to be smashing her within 90 minutes. Girls on TINDER usually aren't PhD grads looking to take it slow and develop full long lasting relationships with men based on mutual trust and respect. They are there to have sex with a guy they find attractive.

Would try one more time but you have to get alot of action next date. I can already feel resentment kicking in by not receiving anything in the first two.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Damn she even went to your house? Second date no kiss, meh oh well. I had to think long and hard, the last time this happened to me I was in high school.

I've heard it plenty of times on 1st dates but on second date? yeah tinder broad too, she's prolly spinning plates so you should too!
1 time I had a chick on a first date text me later that night asking me why I didn't kiss her. Ha!


Watch her end up being a sh*tyy kisser too. It's rare but it happens. Go for the kiss early on date 3, this should be interesting.

 

[pyros]

Since I supose you were the one who suggested both dates...I wouldn't ask her out again.
I mean, IF SHE CONTACTS YOU FIRST I would reply etc but I would not ask her out so she'll get the feeling that something is wrong, and then SHE MAY ASK YOU OUT. (You know, all women know that if they are not getting physical with a guy (kiss, touch, sex, etc) they're showing disinterest and they guy will probably stop seing them, so use this fear in your favour)
If she does, you go on a date and you try to kiss her again and:
- if she rejects you again, you forget about her, forever.
- if she accepts your kiss you proceed as usual.

Besides, it doesnt really matter how much physical you get with her in the first couple of dates because I've had girls who didn't kiss me on date one, gave me a very small kiss on date two but we ended up fvcking on date three. Go figure...

 

[EyeBRollin]

I ****ed a chick on the 4th date that didn't kiss me until she was taking her pants off. You have to look at the whole picture of her actions. Is she pursuing you? Yes. Is she paying her way? Yes. Is she complying? Yes. Sex is a comfort thing with women. This woman is closeable, you just have to be a little more patient. The way you get past this is to forget about sex and get her to open up more on your dates. Also, stop "kino." Let her initiate touching. Touching a woman before she is ready is a huge red flag to most.

 

[skinnyguy]

1) you need more of an abundance mentality. If this happens it shouldn't affect you so much.

2) now it is time to pull back and let her do the chasing.

3) she's into you.

 

[Von]

She's in LTR mood, keep escalating, stop being needy... you turn off her sex mode.

You'll probably have to wait date 5-6.

At least she pursue you.. basically all guy dream

 

[mr. kennedy]

1) you need more of an abundance mentality. If this happens it shouldn't affect you so much.

My problem is that i have too much of an abundance mentality. Let me explain. Because I go on so many dates with so many women, I quickly next a woman after 1 date. This leads me to 0 lays.

I don't know how men get one night stands, I really don't. I have no problem approaching, getting the number, getting the date and bringing the woman over to my place on date #1 or 2 and even make out (the girl in this thread being the exception). I then hit a wall when I try to get more physical.

I read here about kino and escalation and I think that has ruined my game. In the past I used to be very patient and the girl was dying to sleep with me by date 5 or 6. Then I came here and i read about all these men getting laid after 1 date and I thought I had to fix something to get quicker results and to be honest kino and escalation has not worked for me. I have more of a laid back, mellow, go with the flow personality and I don't think these techniques flow with my personality.

 

[EyeBRollin]

My problem is that i have too much of an abundance mentality. Let me explain. Because I go on so many dates with so many women, I quickly next a woman after 1 date. This leads me to 0 lays.

Correct. If you keep nexting them at one date, your lay count will stay at zero.

I don't know how men get one night stands, I really don't. I have no problem approaching, getting the number, getting the date and bringing the woman over to my place on date #1 or 2 and even make out (the girl in this thread being the exception). I then hit a wall when I try to get more physical.

Most women will not sleep with a man on one date. That's a fact you must accept. Forget what other men say. If you **** a chick on the first date, she is a slut.

Now, the best thing you can do to maximize your chances of ****ing a chick on the first "date" is to create multiple dates on that date. Meet her earlier in the evening. Go to happy hour. Move to dinner. Move to a fun activity. Go to the park. Then head to the place for a night cap. This gives the illusion of multiple dates in one evening. That is your best shot, but it is costly and doesn't maximize your long-term success with that particular woman. You also run the risk of making yourself too available early on. It's better to lay back and spoonfeed women.

I read here about kino and escalation and I think that has ruined my game. In the past I used to be very patient and the girl was dying to sleep with me by date 5 or 6. Then I came here and i read about all these men getting laid after 1 date and I thought I had to fix something to get quicker results and to be honest kino and escalation has not worked for me. I have more of a laid back, mellow, go with the flow personality and I don't think these techniques flow with my personality.

Kino is bull****. Stop listening to it. You should not touch a woman until she touches you first. On a first date, if she doesn't touch you, you should go for a kiss close at the end and call it a night. You aren't getting laid on the first date with her. If you lay back and tighten your game, you can sleep with most women by dates 3-5.

You are rushing the dating process my friend. Slooooooooowwww down and spin more plates. I have seven plates right now; none of whom I ****ed earlier than the third date.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

She likes you, relax. All women know men want to fvck them.. Instead of forcing it go with the flow. It isnt a race and you aren't competing with anyone.

Instead if thinking about kino and escalation just have fun. Listen to what she says. What are her interests, quirks, pet peeves...
Instead of "I must kino" put some slow music on and dance with her, or arm wrestle, or just snuggle up and watch net flix.
The girl I am seeing now, I didnt even know if she was into me for about 4 or 5 dates. She kept on agreeing to them though. I played it slow with only light kino now and again and now we have a very physical relationship. Turns out she had been living this celibate monastic lifestyle for a couple of years. Because I had abundance mentality I could take as long as I wanted.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The girl I am seeing now, I didnt even know if she was into me for about 4 or 5 dates. She kept on agreeing to them though.

This right here is it, gents. As long as she is agreeing to one on one time with you, she is interested. Let it develop at her pace. She will take her pants off eventually.

 

[ubercat]

Yeah it is case by case. A surprising number of girls are not having sex at all. My last 4 girlfriends said they hadn't been with a guy for years. And they were as tight as a ducks arse so I tend to believe them. Geez my latest girl actually tore the skin on my **** so be careful what you wish for gents.

And remember there are a lot of useless guys out there. If a girl meets 3 of them in a row she may just give up. My g/f said she'd tried eHarmony I'm guessing that would do it every time.

I think the non traditional Kino is good advice. On my second date with my current girlfriend we were lying down and I put my hand on her stomach and gently rubbed it while I was talking. At the end of the night in the car park I said you're such a girl picked her up spun her around a few times. Pointed her in the direction of her car and slapped her on the arse. Point I'm making is you can get away with any Goofy Move as long as you just quietly and confidently touch her whenever you feel like it.

Little push pulls r good. Pull her in for a quick hug when she said something girlish or cute then gently push her away. Works well if you say I should get us another drink or we should get out of here.

Your vibe is we are having fun and I'm a confident sexual guy. Like my old boxing coach said don't rush the knockout it will come.

And in my experience sleeping with a girl on the first date that you think has potential can be counterproductive. A lot of them this puts into a I'm a good girl but I gave it up so I'm a s*** death spiral in their hamster.

I'm old fashioned and I pay for dates so I normally have a 3 date rule 2 limit the cash outflow. But if she's happy to turn up to your house for a meal that's cheap and hope giving so no issue I can see

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm old fashioned and I pay for dates so I normally have a 3 date rule 2 limit the cash outflow. But if she's happy to turn up to your house for a meal that's cheap and hope giving so no issue I can see

If you play your cards right and she's not some gold digging ho, usually they offer to pay for dates after the 2nd or 3rd date. Let them pay every time they offer.

 

[Jetleg]

It means she worthes something.

 

[mr. kennedy]

Here is an update.

I texted her Sunday night (4 days after our last date).

She answered one hour later apologizing for taking so long to text back (she was baking).

In my next text I proposed we meet at a specific place at a specific time on Tuesday night. She didnt answer me until Monday evening with the following:

"Sorry for the delay! Crazy day at work. I rather be honest, I dont know that this is gonna go anywhere...Ur a good guy and i enjoyed going out with you but i rather not waste your time. I'd be down to be friends but I doubt its what u want."

I already have 3 dates lined up this week and already replaced her for tomorrow night. The point I'm trying to make here is that if a chick refuses to kiss you after 2 dates it's most likely a sign it's over. She showed high interest, she teased me back as much as I teased her, she showed up early on every date, she drove 45 minutes to see me both times, she sent me an I enjoyed myself and have a good day at work text after each date. The best way to find out if a girl digs you is to make a move and see how she reacts. I did mine and she turned it down. So the outcome isnt a surprise.

 

[pyros]

Yes, if after two dates you haven't even kissed... you can be 90% sure nothing good will happen.

Anyway, I told you not to text her again unless she initiated...but...ok.
Now you have confirmation that she's not into you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Here is an update.

I texted her Sunday night (4 days after our last date).

She answered one hour later apologizing for taking so long to text back (she was baking).

In my next text I proposed we meet at a specific place at a specific time on Tuesday night. She didnt answer me until Monday evening with the following:

"Sorry for the delay! Crazy day at work. I rather be honest, I dont know that this is gonna go anywhere...Ur a good guy and i enjoyed going out with you but i rather not waste your time. I'd be down to be friends but I doubt its what u want."

I already have 3 dates lined up this week and already replaced her for tomorrow night. The point I'm trying to make here is that if a chick refuses to kiss you after 2 dates it's most likely a sign it's over. She showed high interest, she teased me back as much as I teased her, she showed up early on every date, she drove 45 minutes to see me both times, she sent me an I enjoyed myself and have a good day at work text after each date. The best way to find out if a girl digs you is to make a move and see how she reacts. I did mine and she turned it down. So the outcome isnt a surprise.

Sorry bud, you messed up here. You were too fresh. Your last text was just icing on the cake that you don't respect boundaries.

If you took the chill pill and waited for her to do the touching on dates, should would be initiating with you after the 2nd date. You scared the cat away fam. This chick was into you, but you have no patience.

 

[mr. kennedy]

Anyway, I told you not to text her again unless she initiated...but...ok.

I get you but it wouldn't have changed anything. I'm a big boy, I can take rejection. We weren't looking for the same thing. I wanted fun; she was one week removed from bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding and is 32.

The reason I reached out was because I had 2 other dates this week and a 3rd girl contacted me for a Tuesday meetup. Tuesday was my only free night this week so before I confirmed with the 3rd girl I wanted to give the girl I already went 2 dates on first dibs. I'm out of town next week and she's on vacation the week after so if it wasn't this Tuesday it would be a month later. Out of sight out of mind.

My problem is that I go on too many dates. Overdating is not a good thing. I miss having butterflies. Now I'm just going through the motions.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Stop deluding yourself. We are here to help you, not excuse your behavior.

I get you but it wouldn't have changed anything. I'm a big boy, I can take rejection. We weren't looking for the same thing. I wanted fun; she was one week removed from bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding and is 32.

You should accept that she rejected you because of your actions, not the sorry excuse she gave you.

The reason I reached out was because I had 2 other dates this week and a 3rd girl contacted me for a Tuesday meetup. Tuesday was my only free night this week so before I confirmed with the 3rd girl I wanted to give the girl I already went 2 dates on first dibs. I'm out of town next week and she's on vacation the week after so if it wasn't this Tuesday it would be a month later. Out of sight out of mind.

No, you reached out to her because you haven't yet established the DJ mindset. You need to work on your self control. There was no reason for you to initiate. We all told you not to. So what if it is a month later? IF she actually cared about you she would be there a month later (blowing up your phone in the process). You are falling into the false trap of thinking you can force your way into her pants. It doesn't work that way bud.

Out of sight is how she thinks about you. Out of sight is how she misses you. You present no challenge if you are initiating at inappropriate times.

My problem is that I go on too many dates. Overdating is not a good thing. I miss having butterflies. Now I'm just going through the motions.

No, your problem is you didn't read the DJ Bible. You don't understand the fundamentals. There is no such thing as "overdating." DJs spin plates and tell women to wait their turn. If a woman actually likes you, she'll know her place.