Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Woman Griping about my Boots

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
I haven't read through the entire thread, but I think a man should have various styles of shoes for various occasions. I would avoid being locked into a certain style. Constantly staying with a certain style conveys "boring". Especially an old, worn-in, comfortable pair of shoes.

On a more general level concerning initial attraction:
When it comes to women, shoes are EVERYTHING. When a woman looks at a man, she looks at these things in the following order:

1) Face (eyes & mouth)
2) Shoes

This has been proven in studies where they use tracking software to observe what women are visually focusing on. Women will immediately bypass the rest of the body after looking at the face and make an evaluation on the shoes. In other words, gents, they read your personality by your shoes.

Shoes don't have to be expensive in order to aid attraction... Just new-ish and well taken care of. You can even test this out in the field. When you catch a woman smiling at you, watch what she does... She'll zero right in on the shoes.

Women are obsessed with shoes, and a huge percentage of their attention goes there, so it's a good idea as a man to pay a lot of attention to his footwear. I personally think that women use the shoe evaluation because they can accurately read a man's personality from them, just as we can read a woman by her face, makeup, body style, etc.

We all know that gaming is largely a matter of numbers and percentages. Since women's attention is disproportionately high on footwear, a man can really skew the game in his favor with nice footwear and a slight sense of style in the rest of his clothing. It takes only a tiny bit of effort to stand out among the crowd.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
15,885
Reaction score
8,601
Atom Smasher said:
When it comes to women, shoes are EVERYTHING. When a woman looks at a man, she looks at these things in the following order:

1) Face (eyes & mouth)
2) Shoes
Where does the package come in that hierarchy? I'm thinking of that YouTube video which shows women constantly looking at a guy's crotch. I agree women are obsessed with shoes though, no doubt about that.

I wonder about their ability to accurately read a guy's shoes though, when the guy might just be wearing them because he saw them on a pickup forum.
 

MOTU

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2014
Messages
645
Reaction score
70
Location
Houston, TX
You know lefty, what threw me on this was the term "griping". Did she ask you in a negative way or positive way?

As for your personal style, as long as it is that - style - than good for you. Build your own brand. But if it's just sloppy or lazy or whatever, that's different.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
zekko said:
Where does the package come in that hierarchy? I'm thinking of that YouTube video which shows women constantly looking at a guy's crotch. I agree women are obsessed with shoes though, no doubt about that.

I wonder about their ability to accurately read a guy's shoes though, when the guy might just be wearing them because he saw them on a pickup forum.
I don't think the general population of women are crotch watchers. I've observed carefully and I just don't see it. They might glance subtly but the obvious one is the shoes.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
I love wearing boots. My fav pair are Nike ACG boots and i wear them when i go out a lot to bars or whatever with some nice jeans over them. However, If im going to a classy party or a situation where i need to dress up, I slide on some nice shoes. Exmaples below:

http://i.imgur.com/ECDbtas.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/dabO6K1.jpg
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,076
Reaction score
5,258
Age
50
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
MOTU said:
You know lefty, what threw me on this was the term "griping". Did she ask you in a negative way or positive way?

As for your personal style, as long as it is that - style - than good for you. Build your own brand. But if it's just sloppy or lazy or whatever, that's different.
She asked me what I was wearing to the party and I told showed her the shirt and told her "jeans" like I wear everywhere.

She asked "what about shoes?"

I told her "Same boots I wear everywhere".

She said "Oh, that all you have?".

I said "It's either boots, Nikes, or dress shoes that do not look right with jeans and I choose the boots".

Then she later told a friend of mine over FB "I really don't think his boots are appropriate for my party, but I don't know how to tell him."

My friend, one of the few true alpha friends I have said "Good luck with that one". Then he told me what she said and I just laughed and so did he.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,734
Reaction score
6,666
Age
66
Location
The 7th Dimension
This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

I wouldn't think it was so bad if she didn't like my boots. Even though I'm pretty tough with women I pick my battles and give her a round here and there. I'd probably throw her a bone and get some new shoes, especially since they will be used far beyond this party. I see it as less of a sh!t test and more of a genuine dislike of those particular boots for whatever reason.

It's important to balance all this "alpha" stuff with some give and take IMO, if she is being reasonable, and in this case she does seem to be reasonable here, at least from what you write.
 

glass half full

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2012
Messages
910
Reaction score
296
another reason they look at our shoes may not just be the shoes...you know the adage about a man's c0ck being proportionate with his shoe size...
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,517
Reaction score
134
Age
48
Location
The Castle Fox
It just occurred to me, in a social scenario, perhaps having boots that scream "I'M A COP" is not the best choice in this particular social climate.

Maybe she'd rather avoid the "Who brought the cop?" negativity at this party, or awkwardness in general with this particular crowd?

Sorry, but, there is a palpable contempt for la policia these days given the volume of "bad cop" stories in the news. She may just be attempting to shield you two from drama? Chicks have a good intuition when it comes to the "vibe" of parties. No hate, just sayin', something to consider.
 

Julian

Banned
Joined
Jul 30, 2003
Messages
4,797
Reaction score
1,233
hahaha fuk this.show up in 5.11 tactical pants, with the 5.11 boots who cares. i mean look at this pic...granted its a model but the look isnt hard to emulate and is functional/tactical but still looks clean an professional and frankly it works for any occasion. http://tetak.com/images/Hlace-511-Joni-Walker-siri W.jpg



idk man your girl has a point but it all depends on the context of the situation. its hard to say. i mean pick your battles...its not beta to make concessions for the greater good and to make someone happy. is it going to kill you to not wear your fukkin 5.11 tactical boots for one day to a special occasion? Its not like shes dressing you everyday and telling you what to wear.


also @Vulpine I think thats stupid as fuk. What kind of a beta would go hang around people who have a problem with what he stands for (being a former LEO). I mean dude wears 5.11 boots everyday...what kind of no dignity an pride having ass dude would go hiding who he was/is?

LOL hard @ "todays climate" lol...ok lets all go into hiding.
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,517
Reaction score
134
Age
48
Location
The Castle Fox
Julian said:
LOL hard @ "todays climate" lol...ok lets all go into hiding.
The media climate, the one that's full of shootings and hysteria about overreach? I'm not saying it's right or good or just, I'm saying that it IS.

I'd blouse/tuck my pinstripes in GI's for kicks, but, not as a guest at a gal's company party. The reflection is on HER, not him.
 

KingBeef

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2001
Messages
805
Reaction score
116
Location
Queens, New York
It's funny, back in the day I used to just rock sneakers, timberlands, lugz and etc. However, me living in NYC and being exposed to many more venues that the world had offered me ( working in an office, clubs, lounges, bars, dress up affairs, casual Fridays, the list goes on and on including the demographic of people) I was horrible when it came to footwear. In these social events, they could make or break you...
Footwear for me IS SO IMPORTANT. WOMAN WILL KILL YOU ON IT... IT CAN MAKE BREAK AN OUTFIT... I've matured my game and I have a very good arsenal now, THE RIGHT SHOES FOR THE RIGHT EVENT...

Don't get me wrong, she could have handled it better and that was a sh!t test (I'm on your side on that)...however, if thats the best pair that you supposedly have, thats not good. Unknowingly, your giving people the impression that you can't dress and you have no or very little style (it's superficial, I know... you are being judged unfairly but That's what happens when you go to these events)

I don't know if your lifestyle requires you to wear more sophisticated apparel... That's up to you but if your not into that my advice is to get at least 2 nice pair of either Oxford's or whatever (black and brown) that you can wear that are understated/simple yet nice that you can showcase to an event like that, it will also add to your wardrobe ...get her input but most importantly you have to like them. Try to reach some middle ground with her...
 

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 27, 2008
Messages
3,770
Reaction score
958
Age
80
Location
Australia
Dear Lefty,
Should this topic come up again,discuss with her why it is that shoes are soo important to Women...And they are...I have a pair of Dance shoes that swallowed tongues,so I riveted a small piece of ribbon on the top of each one so I could pull the tongue back,rather clever I thought,the ribbon was very short,a perfect colour match,covered by my trouser cuffs and barely visible...The very first time I wore them a Woman remarked,"Scarra,whats with the Shoes ?"
 

BetterCallSaul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
865
Reaction score
381
Location
Texas
To me this seems like something I'd blow off entirely. However i will say that as you age and your wardrobe expands, having several sets of good shoes and boots will serve you well. Right now for me, I really only need maybe 1 pair in addition to all the others I own. I'm in no rush to buy them really, but likely something will come up which will spur me into action.

Dropping $300-$500 on a GOOD pair is a worthwhile investment. Women do notice this stuff. Hell I've gotten compliments on my shoes from friends wives checking them out with just a slight hint of flirty notes in her voice. It's freaking instinct talking and they usually can't even control that stuff.
 

logicallefty

Moderator
Joined
Apr 26, 2006
Messages
6,076
Reaction score
5,258
Age
50
Location
Northeast Florida, USA
I still plan on getting new boots eventually. I found some I want I just haven't got them yet.

The woman has been really cool about everything so far. Just last night she gave me a suggestion about helping someone out with something. She said "This is just my opinion, take it or leave it. I know you will do whatever you want regardless of what I suggest".. So she has figured out that she doesn't control me. And she hasn't said a word about my boots sense this incident.
 

SoldMySoul

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 24, 2006
Messages
787
Reaction score
23
Location
Lousyiana
Been awhile since I have been on here!! Got married and hung up my player status. I directed a friend here and wanted to see what's up and saw this thread!!! Op.. I thought you were talking about cowboy boots or another type of boot... The boots you showed are ****ing po po boots that I wear for my job. I initially was going to say piss on her if she doesn't like your boots... But personally, these boots serve a purpose: uniform wearing!!! Nothing else. If I am attending a social gathering I am going to try and look my best. Wearing these boots you look like a rescue queer... I have seen guys in public safety do this sort of thing and it screams dumbass!! Buy another pair of quality kicks so you do not look silly.

Other posters may disagree with me, but with this girl or not... It is about you! People see you wearing these boots and will label you as cop with no dress style. Thank me later when you follow my advice.
 
Top