I'm inclined to describe myself as the old school, natural type of guy when it comes to women, not because I believe it's any better but because I never really had a choice. You see, I come from the days when all men had to walk uphill in 4 feet of snow without shoes on just to hit on a girl. It was a day and age before computers when no real man would be caught dead with a self-help book in his hands. It was a time when a boy learned to swim within 10 seconds because papa just threw your ass into the deep end of the pool.
"Use your arms, boy! Use the arms!"
"Papa! I'm drowning!"
"Bullsh!t! Swim boy! Kick them legs!"
Ahhh the good old days....
But 8 years ago I caught up with the times when I landed a new gig in a new city and I bought my first computer. I was a regular nightclub type at the time so I went online looking for the hot spots in the area, maybe a new wingman, and before I knew it I found myself in a forum not much different than this one. I never found what I was looking for at the time, but I've been paying attention to "the community" ever since.
Over the years I've noticed a trend in the community that stretches from the web forums all the way up to the big time gurus. It's in the books, the DVDs and it's often told on the stage at seminars. I can't think to call it anything other than the Cinderella Experience. You've heard it. I'm almost sure of it. Goes a little something like this:
Once upon a time there was once a man who was not only an AFC, but the ultimate AFC. He recalls a few horrible moments from his past to prove it. But then one magical day something clicked inside of him. Maybe it was a moment of clarity. Maybe it was a book or he was finally fed up and snapped into action. Whatever the reason it marked the beginning of a beautiful transformation. And now here he is telling you that, yes, it is possible and with some hard work, dedication and willpower, you too can be a DJ, player, PUA...or whatever term you prefer. One day, you too will be able to score lots and lots of women like a true Casanova and will live happily ever after.
I'm not here to mock it. It's a great story. There is only one problem I have with it.
When even the best of the best in the ranks of seduction live out the Cinderella Experience, there are certain things they will not know through no fault of their own. It's the experience itself that keeps them from realizing it. One of these unrealized things is the fact that many guys can bask in the same type of success with women as any guru, even while they're making all of these horrible, horrible AFC mistakes. I'm not talking about lucky lays and revolving accounts with hookers. I'm talking about consistently getting laid and exploring new sexual experiences through the free will of women.
How do I know? I know because I didn't have the Cinderella Experience. I was one of the boys who learned how to swim real quick and it wasn't pretty at first. I didn't glide across the water with a perfect backstroke. There was a lot of splashing and a little panic for a while. But I always kept my head above the water. In other words, I was a guy who had a lot of success with women while I was fvcking everything up with AFC behavior in the meantime. I made all of the same exact stupid, AFC mistakes every guy here does now. All of them!!!! But none of them kept me from being the first to get the girl the other guys wanted. None of them kept me from exploring new sexual experiences through the free will of women. I was the player AND the ultimate AFC all at the same time.
I was able to do this because I realized very quickly that you don't LEARN how to GET women. The learning comes when you've already got them. I never learned HOW to get a hottie to come over. They just did, and I only learned why some of them slam the door on the way out. I learned how to be a little better in bed AFTER I got laid. I learned what women liked about me AFTER I already had them. I learned what I could do with certain types of women AFTER I had those certain types. I learned about threesomes AFTER I had them. I learned something when they were getting dressed and walking out in a huff while I was laying in bed halfway through a smoke wondering WTF I just did or said.
But I never learned a damn thing before I got myself into it.
Not. One. Thing.
I always learned after the fact.
Getting women is something completely different. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, smile, talk.... what's there to learn? Getting women is just something you go out and DO. If you always look good and always talk to women every day whether you have a girlfriend or not, you WILL get them. Your stupid mistakes are not stopping you from getting laid. You're not a virgin because you don't know what NLP is. You're not going to turn into a stud because you know kino. They don't dream about you because you maintained eye contact and they don't cream in their panties because you understand ****y & funny. They don't lick their lips and drop to their knees because you mastered an opener. And they aren't going to sleep with you just because you got the number.
They sleep with you because they like sex and for the moment they like you, and they'll never get the chance to like you if you're not out there on the market talking to them every day. That's all there is to it. No magic tricks or great secrets. You just have to be out there talking, interacting and interested in having a little fun. There is nothing to learn or master in this regard.
The real education comes when you're already doing this...
"Use your arms, boy! Use the arms!"
"Papa! I'm drowning!"
"Bullsh!t! Swim boy! Kick them legs!"
Ahhh the good old days....
But 8 years ago I caught up with the times when I landed a new gig in a new city and I bought my first computer. I was a regular nightclub type at the time so I went online looking for the hot spots in the area, maybe a new wingman, and before I knew it I found myself in a forum not much different than this one. I never found what I was looking for at the time, but I've been paying attention to "the community" ever since.
Over the years I've noticed a trend in the community that stretches from the web forums all the way up to the big time gurus. It's in the books, the DVDs and it's often told on the stage at seminars. I can't think to call it anything other than the Cinderella Experience. You've heard it. I'm almost sure of it. Goes a little something like this:
Once upon a time there was once a man who was not only an AFC, but the ultimate AFC. He recalls a few horrible moments from his past to prove it. But then one magical day something clicked inside of him. Maybe it was a moment of clarity. Maybe it was a book or he was finally fed up and snapped into action. Whatever the reason it marked the beginning of a beautiful transformation. And now here he is telling you that, yes, it is possible and with some hard work, dedication and willpower, you too can be a DJ, player, PUA...or whatever term you prefer. One day, you too will be able to score lots and lots of women like a true Casanova and will live happily ever after.
I'm not here to mock it. It's a great story. There is only one problem I have with it.
When even the best of the best in the ranks of seduction live out the Cinderella Experience, there are certain things they will not know through no fault of their own. It's the experience itself that keeps them from realizing it. One of these unrealized things is the fact that many guys can bask in the same type of success with women as any guru, even while they're making all of these horrible, horrible AFC mistakes. I'm not talking about lucky lays and revolving accounts with hookers. I'm talking about consistently getting laid and exploring new sexual experiences through the free will of women.
How do I know? I know because I didn't have the Cinderella Experience. I was one of the boys who learned how to swim real quick and it wasn't pretty at first. I didn't glide across the water with a perfect backstroke. There was a lot of splashing and a little panic for a while. But I always kept my head above the water. In other words, I was a guy who had a lot of success with women while I was fvcking everything up with AFC behavior in the meantime. I made all of the same exact stupid, AFC mistakes every guy here does now. All of them!!!! But none of them kept me from being the first to get the girl the other guys wanted. None of them kept me from exploring new sexual experiences through the free will of women. I was the player AND the ultimate AFC all at the same time.
I was able to do this because I realized very quickly that you don't LEARN how to GET women. The learning comes when you've already got them. I never learned HOW to get a hottie to come over. They just did, and I only learned why some of them slam the door on the way out. I learned how to be a little better in bed AFTER I got laid. I learned what women liked about me AFTER I already had them. I learned what I could do with certain types of women AFTER I had those certain types. I learned about threesomes AFTER I had them. I learned something when they were getting dressed and walking out in a huff while I was laying in bed halfway through a smoke wondering WTF I just did or said.
But I never learned a damn thing before I got myself into it.
Not. One. Thing.
I always learned after the fact.
Getting women is something completely different. Brush your teeth, comb your hair, smile, talk.... what's there to learn? Getting women is just something you go out and DO. If you always look good and always talk to women every day whether you have a girlfriend or not, you WILL get them. Your stupid mistakes are not stopping you from getting laid. You're not a virgin because you don't know what NLP is. You're not going to turn into a stud because you know kino. They don't dream about you because you maintained eye contact and they don't cream in their panties because you understand ****y & funny. They don't lick their lips and drop to their knees because you mastered an opener. And they aren't going to sleep with you just because you got the number.
They sleep with you because they like sex and for the moment they like you, and they'll never get the chance to like you if you're not out there on the market talking to them every day. That's all there is to it. No magic tricks or great secrets. You just have to be out there talking, interacting and interested in having a little fun. There is nothing to learn or master in this regard.
The real education comes when you're already doing this...
