Winter BC - Week 7

[Al Moh.]

This week actually takes 3 real weeks, so this is plenty of time to get new numbers and go on serveral dates.

So, Sir Shinra you've got 5 weeks left, 3 for week 7 and two for week 8, and then you'll be one of those few guys who actually completed the BC and received the Dj badge of honor


Now, it's your responsibility to complete every week on time. You have to:
- Do the reading
- Complete the exercises
- Write a Report at the end of the week
You may:
- Listen to the music (recommended to get into the mood )
- Report any time during the week in this thread
- Ask questions in this thread
- Give tips in this thread or a thread of the other BC-Groups
If you learn anything new that you think is valuable to others, you are encouraged to post this inside the Tips-Section.

In your Report at the end of the week please state if you were successful completing the week or not. If yes, I am going to move your name to the next week. If no you can either stop or give yourself more time. However, I am not going to take care of you anymore in terms of moving you name further. You have to organise yourself then but can still use this thread.

Each week starts on thursday morning and ends on wednesday evening. Use your local time.

That's about it as general information goes.

The link to the BC one more time:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.pdf
or word Version:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.doc

There you will find each weeks reading material, music picks and exercises. I am just going to repeat the exercises in short form in this threads.



1) Arrange a third date.
2) Try out new strategies discussed in the reading section to increase IL
3) Keep your number pool at ten or more



Good luck!

 

[Sir Shinra]

I'm still here, making slooooooooooooow progress. Still, it's progress.

One big problem though... I've stalled out at the kiss close. My dates usually start off great but then don't go anywhere after that. Most of it is because I'm trying to decide whether the girl is open for a kiss on the first date or not (the reading material for week6 told me not to).

I have more numbers than I know what to do with. Fortunately the average interest level has gone up. Unfortunately, hotness level hasn't. I know the solution to this... approach hotter women.

I've also hit a few clubs with a couple different wings. No results, but a couple close calls that were CBed by her firends.

I went on a third date... on Valentines Day (though Valentines Day wasn't the theme). This one was a bit special in my mind, as, out of the 10 or so girls I've gone out with since arriving to Korea, this is the only one I have actually liked so far. Total bomb. Never seeing her again, for sure. Details later.

I've had a steady stream of dates, but, as of the last three weeks or so, none of them have gone anywhere. Thus, I haven't had a chance to sample the week 7 techniques.

And that's a DAMN shame, because this is where it's supposed to be fun!


Anyway, more detailed update later.

 

[Al Moh.]

Hope to read your detailed post soon. There is less than a week left until you'll move to the final week and to the final two tests.

As for the kiss close thing, my personell experience is that you should just try, she isn't going to run away if she doesn't like it. Just turns her head away (=too fast progress) so then you know that you need to build more rapport/attraction/whatever.

 

[Sir Shinra]

Donno if I can get my report up by the end of today. I got a first date with a girl I almost took home in a club (but was ****blocked by her friends) tonight. I think I will play the gentleman this time. C&F is getting tiring.

Anyway, don't wanna be late (like I was on my last date). I assure you though, the report is coming. I'm totally exhausted of approaching, but it's time for Week 8!

 

[Sir Shinra]

Well, it's been three weeks, and I'm in exactly the same boat as I was at the end of last week.

-Two to four approaches a day. Lately I've been trying to make stops on the street, in bookstores, malls, etc. All of them have failed, however (Last Saturday I went 0-13 on my non-train approaches. It seems the ONLY place I can run game is on the train, where it'd take a lot of effort for them to run away.

-Two to three dates a week. Ya know, it's great to have all these dates, and I never would have pictured myself seeing so many women at one time a year ago but....

-None of these dates have gone anywhere! Here's a description of each of my dates (including flakes) for Week(s) 7:

Date 1: Had a second date set up with a cute and perky HB7.5 (sells shoes in the mall, I asked her for directions and read a high IL). First date was kinda boring, and my nose was noticably running at the time, so I'm surprised she agreed to a second one. She ended up flaking that day, though (and not until after I sent a confirmation text, indicating she had forgotten/planned to stand me up). I texted her asking why, and she said 'I'm seeing my family.' (Why the hell didn't she tell me that when we were setting up the date?) I called her 2 minutes later, and she didn't answer. It was obvious she was available. Flake. Haven't contacted since.

Date 2: First date with HB6.5, chemistry student with no hobbies, not much interesting stuff to say. She wanted to be an artist but changed to chemistry to make her father happy (more money). I advised her to follow her dream, but whatever. We ate Korean barbecue and went to the jazz bar. She refused my arm crick, and sat across the table from me, even though every other couple there was sitting together to watch the band. I could tell she was cricking her neck, and insisted she sit by me. She did, so I got some kino in and some myspace-esque photos. I didn't think she was interested, but she texted me the next day wanting to go visit some castle/temple in the spring. Long ways away. I'll call her for a date between now and then.

Date 3: Second date with HB6 I went to coffee and bowling with last week. We had some coffee and pastries (during the day) and walked randomly around the neighborhood. She still refused my arm crick. I insisted we go exploring to the top of this tower that has been on my mind for months. I thought it would be cool to run down the up escalator, and she almost came with me but backed out at the last second, so I 'raced' her downstairs. She didn't bother playing with me though. I bring her up to the top floor and she wants to go back down but I insist we continue. We eventually get to the top where there's a restaurant and observation deck. We're waiting for hte elevator to come up and I get in real close and give her the 'lets kiss' look. She goes "why are you looking at me like that?" with a smile, but I chicken out and make a joke out of it. Walk to station, end date. I would see her again though.

Date 4: HB6.5 third date with HB6.5, and the only girl I have met in Korea that I actually had 'like' emotions for (not anymore though). It was on Valentine's Day, but that wasn't the theme since neither of us believed in it. We meet at the station and hop on a bus to a pretty area of town I've been to before. We had some deep philosophical conversation on the train, and upon answering one of her questions, 'what makes you happy?' she said 'you have a good heart.' She also said she's been telling her friends about me, etc. and the want to meet me. Good sign. We walk around the park, arm in arm, for awhile and talk. I insist we play with the stepping stones on the nearby stream so it doesn't get boring. We're having a good talk, but I had a gut feeling that I have somehow gone backwards. Last time she wanted to hold my hand,but now she's just pinching my jacket sleeve. We get to a wall with some Chinese characters, and she asks me to identify which ones I know. I decided it would be cute to kiss her (remember, I kissed her at the end of date 2) when we get to the character for 'beautiful.' We finally get to the character and she gets C&F, saying "like me!" I just say "uh huh," and move closer, but she sees it coming and backs away. All downhill from here!! I start to feel discouraged and a litle pissed off that she was showing so much interest before, but now has suddenly turned cold *****. I "punish" her by withdrawing my hand and attention, and walk ahead of her instead of at her side. We head to a sushi restaurant near her home because she is "tired and wants to rest," and not because she's hungry. I'm not hungry either, so I suggest we just go back to her/my place and watch a DVD. "NO." Okay... When we get to the place, its gotten awkward, and she tells me that I'm childish. I say "is that a bad thing?" "To be honest, I don't like childish." I was gonna argue with her, but I figured silence was more appropriate. Fifteen minutes of silence. Was very awkward, but I didn't care. I felt like **** and wanted the date to end. Instead I sat there for 40 minutes and listened to her laundry list of things she doesn't like about me, or mistakes I made on previous dates.

-I am childish
-I am cynical
-I seem too aggressive to her
-I made her feel isolated by speaking Japanese to a guy I recognized on a previous date

She also lectured me like so, "I am meeting you to hang out and have fun, not to be courting you."
I countered with, "whenever I want to have fun, you criticize me."
yadda yadda yadda...

yak yak yak.... I wanted to leave, but there was food to be eaten, and I have a complex about wasting food, so I stayed. While I was in the bathroom, she paid (I expected her to. At least I got something for all this bull****). After dinner, things have cooled down a bit, and we went arm in arm to the subway station. I said to her, "You just spent the last hour painting me as the biggest ******* on the face of the Earth. What was your purpose in meeting me again tonight?" She couldn't come up with an answer. We take the subway, and when we get close to her stop, she starts ORDERING me to sit down, but I refuse. Her bossiness is starting to piss me off. I'm sure she wanted me to sit down because she was afraid I would try to kiss her again (the first time I kissed her, I jumped off the train right before the doors closed, a la Hollywood fashion). I just stood there and laughed at her.

Interestingly enough, she invited me to go to her graduation the next week, and, since I wanted to see a Korean graduation, and she promised to introduce me to her professor (who wrote the script for the famous Korean movie Silmido), I decided to come. Well, the professor wasn't there, but I was in awe at how many HOTTIES go to school at her college, and since I was the only foreigner, they were all looking at me and smiling. Oddly enough, HB6.5 still insists on walking arm in arm with me around the school. I point out that she's just showing me off to her friends, like a trophy. She doesn't deny it. We go eat dinner with her mom and part ways at the subway station. I felt like utter ass after that, but decided to go shopping approach 10 women that day. My # close record for that day was 0-13. Only 1 woman would even talk to me, and that's because we were on the subway and she had no choice. Later that night, I get a message from her saying "I just wanted to say 'GOOD NIGHT'"
Haven't responded. Not going to. She's cut off.

 

[Sir Shinra]

Date 5: Date with an HB6 I met in a grocery store. Lived close to me and seemed pretty enthused about meeting. She sent me a flake message 5 minutes before the meeting time, saying she had to work overtime. I Didn't send a reply. Haven't heard from her since. Flake

Date 6: Finally met an HB7 who's email I got almost two months before. I had originally asked for her number but she gave me email instead. As soon as I email her though, she gives me the number. Scheduling conflicts and phone tag made it take a long time to set up a date, but we finally did.
Met her in a neighborhood neither of us were familiar with, so I took the lead and found us a decent coffee shop. We talk usual stuff, family, travelling, blah blah. Turns out she lived in China for 5 years and was going back in a couple weeks. She was reacting well to my C&F and giving me good eye contact. I did something I rarely do when talking to a pretty woman. I complimented her. Told he she had beautiful hair as we were walking down the street. (NOTE: I Should have stopped her in the street and ran my fingers through her hair, looking into her eyes, as I delieved the compliment) We are about to cross the street and it started SNOWING! So cool. I look at her and make some great eye contact. I feel the "I should kiss her" rush, but I pussed bout because
1)It was a first date
2)It was still very early in the date
3)We were in public/nonromantic scenario and there was a ton of people around

We walk around some more and I suggest goingto the park. She hesitates but complies, so we go arm in arm down the park, towards her home. At this point I start to regret not kissing her earlier, and start looking for oppurtunities during our walk. I
try create them (teasing her by taking her glasses, playing with stepping stones, stopping her mid/conversation, etc), but I just don't feel the magnetic urge and I can tell she's getting bored of my antics and exhausted of my presence. More importantly, I stopped being indifferent to the results and made it my goal to kiss her, which made it even harder to actually do. We got to the end and said bye to each other. It's been 10 days, I haven't contacted her, nor has she me. I will call her Tonight.


Date 7: I approached a HB6.5 on the train who was staring at me. Her English was almost nonexistant but a miscommunication led us to set up a date to go for a beer some 9 days later.. A week ebfore the meeting, we set up a time over text. I suggested 8:00 but she insisted "No, 6:30!" The next day I sent a message saying "Okay" and she never messaged me back. Sent another message. Nothing. Flake.

Date 8: I was using a public computer in the mall and caught a 6.5 eyeing my screen. Had nothing better to do at the time so I teased her a bit. She seemed really interested. She shakes my hand goodbye, but I pull her back in by the hand to get her number (felt kinda manly doing that). 20 minutes later, she sends me a text invitign me for coffee, but I tell her I"m busy and counteroffer to go to the clubs with my friends later that night. Not available. We set up a date for the next week. On the afternoon of the day of the date. she sends me a text. Flake.

Date 9: Since I had a feeling I wouldn't hear from HB6.5 again, I went ahead and overbooked myself for that day. Went on First date with a HB7 I talked to on the train for 40 minutes. She was putting up some initial resistance "My name is secret" So I decided to have fun with it. I addressed her as "Secret" for the rest of the conversation. ("So Secret, when's the last time you talked to a foreigner?") I could tell she was masking her interest. Asked her for her number and she puts her name in my phone. Never had to ask twice for her name

Anyway, the date went pretty well. We met on a Sunday afternoon and looked around for a coffee shop. She was quite warm and friendly, always smiling and laughing. Amazing that the girl refused to give her name earlier. Maybe my plowing ability has improved after all. Anyway, we talked at the coffee shop and I forgot what we talked about, but of course I did the usual C&F, and even some light compliments. On the way out, (on her suggestion) I had some fun with the coffee shop staff, busting them about some random (English) stuff written on the wall. One of the things on the wall (SHE pointed this out, by the way) was "I'm not wearing any panties!" So I bust on her and play it off as if SHE is the one not wearing panties. Of course, I had her pose for a picture of this random saying.

I then lead her to one of my favorite builings in Seoul, and ask if she has ever been to the top. She hasn't, so I take her arm and lead her there, and convince her to run down the up escalator. She follows! (Wow, this girl is actually fun!) I'm really enjoying how the date is going, and her company, so when we get to the top, I decide I must attempt a kiss close before the date is over. As we're staring out the window, she asks what country I'm from. since she forgot, I play with her and make her play guessign games. She finally gets it right, so I get closer and I go for it. FAILURE. She tilts her head down. Too soon. I rest my head on top of hers, and play it off as if nothing happened. We eventually go down to the lobby, and she mentions that she hasn't seen the restaurant. I take her hand and again lead her up to the top, where we take some more pictures of the cityscape.

I have another date, so we walk arm-in-arm back to the station. She waves goodbye and wishes me luck getting to my next meeting on time. While I was on the train, she sent me a text, and I sent one back. No contact since then. I'm definitely seeing this one again, though.

Date 10: Third date with HB6. The second date went pretty well, sept for me wussing out and not kissing her when I probably should have (see week 6 thread). I think she wasn't interested the whole time though, as our conversations were pretty tame and I as afraid to flirt. I did keep her laughing though. Anyway, long story short, I meet her for dinner (she wanted to meet earlier than planned, but since I was just coming back from another date, I didn't have time!) and we ate, joked. Then I suggested we sing karaoke, but since she was 'tired,' I suggested going to the video arcade instead. She said she doesn't play videogames, but I convinced her anyway. We had a good time playing each other at the arcade. I kept trying to create oppurtunities to kiss her between ass-kickings (I only let her win once) but I just couldn't bring myself to close. I finally attempt to kiss close at the end of the date, in the street. She pulls away. I go for the cheek, but she still resists! I plant one on her anyway and walk away. Haven't called her since.

Date 11: First date with HB7 (downgraded to 6.5) I picked up on the train a few weeks earlier. I travelled pretty far to meet her and never told her where I live, but I was about 35 minutes late (she said one hour, but she showed up early). She kept herself busy shopping until I arrived. I meet her outside the station and I, being the foreigner, insist that she shows me something fun about the neighborhoods she lives in. I suggest coffee, and she finds me a place. We sit across from each other and she.... barrades me with interview-style questions. I answer them in more detail then I probably should have, but somehow led to a semi-passionate speech about my disdain for the English-teaching industry. Sounds negative, but I really tried to convey my desire to make my life into something more than my job. Unfortunately, I broke the 70-30 rule as I was the one contributing 70%. After coffee, we both have appointments so I have her walk me to the nearest bookstore so I can pass time until the next day. She refuses my arm crick, however. I make another mistake and try to argue with her logically. She said "Korean people don't do that," but I point out all the couples walking around that are. "but friends don't do that." Red flag. Friend zone. Not meeting again.

 

[Sir Shinra]

Date 12: Third date with the HB7.5 I posted about HERE
I'll shorten this one, since I've already gone over this so much.

Took her to a hookah bar. Did basically the same thing as the first time (when I had a successful kiss close), with just a little more rapport (talking about our jobs, what we want out of life, etc.) Heavy kino and teasing (I played keep away with her. She really 'hated' me for it. Lol.) Anyway, I was a little more sexual with her, flirting and etc. I tried to kiss close on her twice, but she tilted her head away. I know she's playing hard to get. We've already made out once. I think she's trying to get power in the relationship or something.

Oh yeah, this was kind of interesting. While I was playing keep-away with her.
Her: "You know, you have been nothing but mean to me since the day we met!" *smiling*
(it's true. I am meaner to her than the rest of my dates... but that's because...)
Me: "Yeah, but you keep coming back every time."
Her: "Yeah... you have a point."
Me: "I think you like it... you're a masochist."

I was mean to her. I was flirting with her. I talked about 'naughty' topics. I tried to kiss her multiple times. I had the "sex look" and evil smirk on my face the entire night. I was an *******. I never behave this way with any of the other girls I date. I think I'm comfortable with this one because of what she told me the first time we went out... that she has an active sex life. Thus, I had nothing to lose by making the conversation sexual.

Oh yeah, she told me about how she wanted to kiss this girl she met before.... I played the devil-on-her-shoulder and told her to do it. I tried to make the convo increasingly sexual but I still failed at the kiss close. I even tried one more time, when we parted ways outside the subway. She gives me her hand. A ****ing handshake? On the third date? Are you serious. I correct her and go for a kiss instead, and she pulls away again (third attempt). She tells me, "Friends don't kiss." or something like that. Well damn, friends do hug, don't they? I do the European thing and kiss both her cheeks, and say goodbye without looking back.

The next day, I get a text from her, "I had a good time last night. Hope you felt the same. See ya later XO" (hugs and kisses? lol) I was feeling ****y that day and sent her this, "Don't worry, I'll let you play with me again soon! " No response yet.

Overall Synopsis of Date 12: She is very compliant and is comfortable with me leading, and plays along with all my games, but won't let me kiss her. What's going on? She has to be playing hard to get, but is it worth pursuing after the third date? Normally I would call it quits at this point, but I really enjoy my with her, even if she's playing games. I'm comfortable showing her my 'dark side,' which I don't reveal to my other dates (because I think they are 'good girls')



Date 13: First date with an HB7 I *almost* picked up in a club.

Backstory: Closing time at the dance club. I surpassed my goal of 10 rejections for the night, so I was chilling by the bar having a last beer, feeling pretty contented, despite my repeated failures to hook up. HB7 saw me sitting there and sat next to me, and wrapped her arm around me. I'm sitting there thinking, 'what the ****? it's this easy?' Turns out she was being followed by some fat desperate foreign guy, so she whispered in my ear 'pretend to be my boyfriend.' BINGO! I can totally mess with her now! The guy comes up and she goes "this is my boyfriend" and gives me a kiss right on the lips. I play along, enjoying it. The guy apologizes and goes elsewhere, so I take the oppurtunity to chat up the girl (she's quite drunk). Her friends aren't really digging me, but regardless she invites me to bounce to another venue with them. As we're walking down the street, I do C&F on her and pretend to 'break up' with her. She laughs and plays along. When we get to the venue though, SHE starts playing hard to get. Whenever I get close and dance with her, she backs away. I'm not the needy type, so I dance around with other people for awhile. Eventually she and her friends leave, and I get REALLY close to convincing her to come "eat breakfast" with me, since I told her she owes me a meal for saving her butt. Her friends end up ****blocking me though.

Fast forward to the actual date. I told her she owes me a meal, so we meet in a neighborhood near where she lives and she suggests a Turkish restaurant. We sit across from each other and have the usual 'interview' conversation. Nothing too interesting. Turns out she's into sports and is a former gymnast (Heeeey!) but I don't think that's gonna work to my advantage. Got some C&F in at the last second, and I walked her arm-in-arm to the bus station. She was completely different from the drunken girl I met a week before. Now she insists that she is not the type to go to clubs and it was a one-time thing that her friends talked her into doing. I just smiled and nodded, enjoying the fact that SHE now has to qualify her self to me. I didn't give her a hard time, like I probably should have. For some reason I actually believed her.... she does seem like the (relatively) innocent type. No kiss on the date, barely any kino. I will try again later though.


Whew... that took a long time, but that's all my dates for Week(s) 7! I know nobody's gonna read all that, but if some some god-forsaken reason you did, please share your commentary!