Wife goes to Club/Bar

[speed dawg]

Thursday is coming up.

Do you guys think I should try to go to her campus on Thursday? Josh and her are in Comp 2 which start from 6:15pm to 10:30pm? I could try and see if she really leaves on time. I get the feeling that she might talk with Josh after her class.

Only if you have time. For the love of all, don't get caught. You'd probably find out a good bit if you did. For one, you'd find out if she's even in class, and how she acts behind your back.

And don't think you're being paranoid. She's given you reason to be suspicious.

 

[KarmaSutra]

. My wife had noticed my distance, and she has been more affectionate than usual. She wanted to cutle with me. She said that I had been looking at her like she was tainted. By Saturday it had been over three days since I had last given it to her.

My ex wife did this EXACT SAME THING when she got home from fvcking her redneck piece of sh!t. A womans guilt is predicated on her reflection of the act. She's becoming more affectionate because her inner slvt is assuaged. But it's only briefly. Once it wakes up and sees Josh in class and realizes what a great high she got from the experience she'll be itching like a crabs infested clam.

Late Saturday night, the baby fell asleep, and I gave it to her doggy style. This was by far the hardest that I have ever taken my wife. Afterward she did mention that I had never given it to her this hard, but she said she didn’t mind because of her bad behavior on Thursday night. Sunday morning I gave it to her again pretty hard in various positions.

You gave it to her hard because this is your way of one-upping Josh and his performance in your wifes cvnt. Alas though, it's fleeting and only temporarily makes you feel better.

You're going to have to get the evidence you need and then blast her with divorce papers before she can do anything to sully your image for custody.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Thursday is coming up.

Do you guys think I should try to go to her campus on Thursday? Josh and her are in Comp 2 which start from 6:15pm to 10:30pm? I could try and see if she really leaves on time. I get the feeling that she might talk with Josh after her class.

Check it she doesn't leave early for a quickie.

I'm usually not such a pessimist but prudence dictates brother Traveler get the to the big D and I don't mean Dallas.

 

[wayword]

Marriage = Pwnage!

Let's see: Wife came home after 5am. I tried to remain as cool as possible. I was feeding the baby when she got home. She was saying how she was mad at me.

She told me she went with a group. Everybody got drunk and they all crashed at someone's place around 2:30am but she didn't come home right away because she was feeling too drunk so she waited out at that house until 5am.

I guess if I reacted like her, everytime she says something that I don't like it would make it okay for me to get upset and go to a club and grind.

This morning, I checked her phone and it looked like the person she went out with is called Josh...
I guess I will have to monitor my phone bill next month and see how phone have been made if any prior to March 6.

Lmao - Wow, what more do you need to see here? The used condoms filled with Josh's ***?

That is, if you're lucky - and they even used condoms... :crackup:

Search this site - girls going out to clubs/bars withOUT you = HUGE RED FLAG. She is out on the prowl looking to get facked.

Most feminist-American women are like this these days. All got Britney syndrome. Your mistake was marrying. Marriage is outdated now and nothing more than a heavy risk with little reward for most men. Only exception might be if she has more wealth or earning potential than you (rare scenario). Otherwise, you might as well stick your nuts in a blender and hit puree.

And, now you are paying the price, my friend! You got ZERO leverage anymore and any post-"I do" exit strategy will involve sacrificing a limb. TESTIFY!!!

Guys must think girls are really stupid. When they are very cunning. Your problem is you underestimated your enemy. She knew that once you married her, it was GAME OVER and she could suddenly do whatever the fvck she wanted - with the absolute "worst" consequence being running off with half your money, alimony & CS!!! Or, was that the BEST consequence and part of her plan all along...? :crackup:

My wife had noticed my distance, and she has been more affectionate than usual. She wanted to cutle with me. She said that I had been looking at her like she was tainted. By Saturday it had been over three days since I had last given it to her.

she said she didn’t mind because of her bad behavior on Thursday night. Sunday morning I gave it to her again pretty hard in various positions.
By Sunday evening, there was a song that reminded of her dad and she cried a lot. She called her dad but he did not answer. Right before going to bed she started crying again thinking of her dad.

DUDE, this was CODE BLUE! This basically means she already cheated on you, in one way or other.

1) Cuddling back out of guilt and to "cover" her tracks..
2) Projecting her own taintedness onto you with a guilt-trip. Which means she really is tainted (better hope she don't got an STD now).
3) "Random" crying breakdowns = guilt-ridden over her betrayal to you.

 

[Mr. Me]

If she's having sexual relations outside of your marriage, then she may get infected with something and then transmit it to you.

You did her hard because... did it turn you on that she was with another man? She seemed to act that way: "I don't mind. I was naughty!" At least she acknowledges her behavior now instead of faulting you. But this is getting a little sickening.

 

[cordoncordon]

What’s my wife attitude lately says Speed Dawg?

First of all, I was a bit distant Friday and Saturday as I was looking back at everything. My wife had noticed my distance, and she has been more affectionate than usual. She wanted to cutle with me. She said that I had been looking at her like she was tainted. By Saturday it had been over three days since I had last given it to her.
Late Saturday night, the baby fell asleep, and I gave it to her doggy style. This was by far the hardest that I have ever taken my wife. Afterward she did mention that I had never given it to her this hard, but she said she didn’t mind because of her bad behavior on Thursday night. Sunday morning I gave it to her again pretty hard in various positions.
By Sunday evening, there was a song that reminded of her dad and she cried a lot. She called her dad but he did not answer. Right before going to bed she started crying again thinking of her dad.

Monday and today she has not been feeling very good. She has been very sleepy, and we she is awake she seems a bit out there and clumsy.

I don't know man the last thing I would feel like doing after all this has been going on is "giving it to her hard". You're kinda letting her know what what she did is Ok in your eyes.

She deserved punishment, not sexing and the status quo.

 

[wayword]

I suspected you were a woman, but this one line confirms it.

You see how deceptive women naturally are?

She even purposely chose a male username in an attempt to fool everyone.

I can't believe LMS was banned, yet we have all these phony women making every excuse in the book for...inexcusable behavior.

 

[d9930380]

Offcourse she'll talk to Josh, if only if nothing else about the fallout after she came home!

Look it's not in doubt that her and Josh had something, it might have been physical, it might not have been however women cheat emotionally first. She's obviously seeking from Josh something you're not giving her.

As for the lying, she might have lied because she knew you wouldn't believe her or she lied to cover her tracks.

The question is "What do you do now?"

Her behaviour over the next few days is actually very suspect I hate to say it. First she's got angry at you, now she's trying to illicit sympathy
(the Dad and the whole remark that she's tainted) and eventually using sex. Someone who felt they where innocent wouldn't behave this way and I suspect her remark about being tainted was just projection anyway.

I also think be giving her sex this soon, you by your actions "forgave her" too soon.

Should you spy on her? I don't think you have another option. I would like to say try to ignore it because I suspect you won't like what you find and the consequences of that however you're at the point where you don't trust her and that won't go away.

 

[frivolousz21]

one more thing buddy.


please contact a lawyer...if you have any money....get it away from her.

obtain copies of your childs Social securtity card
try to get get social security number
get a copy of the birth certificate
and consult with a lawyer and possibly get a drawn out custody papers

 

[DJ_Traveler]

She's obviously seeking from Josh something you're not giving her.

I agree with you completely. Even in the voicemail my wife had left me that night she was mentioning that we really need to go out clubbing and have fun.
I dropped the ball by not being the one to take her out when she felt ready. Josh (prince charming) was right there with his invitation to a free night of booze at the house of blues.

I still find it odd that Josh paid for the ticket and did not ask for money in return. Josh must be quite a nice guy....

I couldn't meet that guy face to face as I don't think much of a guy who has be that low to invite a married woman to a bar.

 

[Ever onward]

I agree with you completely. Even in the voicemail my wife had left me that night she was mentioning that we really need to go out clubbing and have fun.
I dropped the ball by not being the one to take her out when she felt ready. Josh (prince charming) was right there with his invitation to a free night of booze at the house of blues.

No, no, no NO NO!

Do not let her bad behavior make you feel inadequate. Because she is married and has a child, she should know by now that "going clubbing" is over for her.

 

[cordoncordon]

I agree with you completely. Even in the voicemail my wife had left me that night she was mentioning that we really need to go out clubbing and have fun.
I dropped the ball by not being the one to take her out when she felt ready. Josh (prince charming) was right there with his invitation to a free night of booze at the house of blues.

I still find it odd that Josh paid for the ticket and did not ask for money in return. Josh must be quite a nice guy....

I couldn't meet that guy face to face as I don't think much of a guy who has be that low to invite a married woman to a bar.

I dont know but if it were me I would have been on the phone and telling Josh to stay the hell away from my wife!

Dude, you are totally caving here. Sex with her, your forgivness, your apathetc attitudes towards this all. You are only setting yourself up for a further fall by these actions. I'm not even saying she had sex with the guy though it certainly is possible, but just the other actions alone should have made you blow a gasket. You are being way to nice about all of this imo.

Yes you should take your wife out and yes you need to keep the romance going, but do all that after you have laid down the law and she has been scared sh1tless that you could and would leave her over this.

My god man wake up!

 

[cordoncordon]

No, no, no NO NO!

Do not let her bad behavior make you feel inadequate. Because she is married and has a child, she should know by now that "going clubbing" is over for her.

Well now I certainly don't agree with that. Life doesn't end with child lol.

There are things as sitters, mothers, etc that can baby sit on occasion.

This isn't the stone ages. Married women with children DO have lives ya know. They can go out to eat, movies, to clubs dancing. They just have to plan ahead so that the child or children is well looked after while they are doing these things.

 

[DJ_Traveler]

Since you guys think I am caving in. How would you guys handle it with the wife?

Before last thursday, I have to say that my wife and I have always been close. I felt totally comfortable being around my wife like we are one ( I know this sound corny).

Things will never be the same. I still love my wife, but I never thought she could be this dumb to pull something like this. The fact is that I will never know which is just as bad.

 

[iqqi]

Latinoman - I'm 31.

As for your points. Did the mother of your children get pregnant by accident or was it planned? If it was planned then she was emotionally ready to have children and you also choose this woman to have kids with. It's different!

Also in some cultures 20 can be very mature, others especially the west, a 20 year old still acts and is treated as a child (in the US a 20 year old can't even drink). Most (not all) 23 year olds aren't mature enough to have their lives totally changed by a new baby and a shot gun wedding. It's understandable that after the birth and new baby the excitement has worn off that the "normality and boredom" of normal married family life is getting to her. This monatomy will have come as a surprise to her and it's this that she wants to be free off.

With kids the guy's life never changes as much, he's still going to work etc and on a minute by minute basis it isn't much different however she's stuck with the kid every minute of every day with no adult company. For a 23 year old who has friends out partying with lives that's tough.

As for what you do and what you don't expect or tolerate. Well, It's too late for that, there is a kid involved and it's not the right thing to simply up and leave just because his wife is showing some bad behaviour. That's the problem with modern life, everyone is selfish and only thinking of themselves. If he leaves then his kid is going to be scarred for life and for what, because his wife was a wee bit overwhelmed and needed away for a night. Offcourse he CAN do anything he wants, however his actions have an effect on society and if he does this then I've every right to call him a **** because his action have an effect on my life and my happiness.

As Chris Rock says.
"You have to get yourself home to your kids so in 20 years they don't grown up and rob me"

As for woman loving their husbands and then cheating on them. That's BS, women are different than men and when did you start believing in what women say. She's ****ing you so therefore she doesn't love her husband, it's that simple. The reason why she said it because ironically she didn't want to appear heartless. I suspect most wives don't love their husband and that's why there's so much infedelity - most women simply settle because the desirable men don't commit.

I know what you are trying to say and I agree he needs to watch out for this and even log her behaviour (due to our lovely neutral courts) however this conversation like all the rest on SoSuave degenerates into "She should be perfect. I could only go with a woman who's perfect. Womena are all *****s" when all the guys are the furthest from perfect themselves. At the end of the day we're all inperfect, sometimes in life we need to let things slide and try to understand why we and others make mistakes so that we can improve.

The relationships that go through these early hardships can be the more rewarding in the long term. You can argue if you will that it's because each party has invested more in them so they don't want to waste that investment or that by accepting someone's imperfections allows them to accept you, warts and all too. Who knows but I suspect the answer someone gives says alot about them.

WOW. Gold.

BTW, with the new facts, I am thinking Wifey DIDN'T cheat.

 

[iqqi]

Since you guys think I am caving in. How would you guys handle it with the wife?

Before last thursday, I have to say that my wife and I have always been close. I felt totally comfortable being around my wife like we are one ( I know this sound corny).

Things will never be the same. I still love my wife, but I never thought she could be this dumb to pull something like this. The fact is that I will never know which is just as bad.

The sad thing is that she may not have cheated on you sexually, but she sure did break the trust.

Of course you know her better than any of us, YOU know her better than Latinoman, Speeddawg, iqqi, ect.

I personally think most of the guys are almost SILLY in their overloaded paranoid ideas here.

With the newer details that have emerged, I would NOT make that wager that she cheated.

Josh paid for her AND other guy.

She was with Josh AND other guy the whole time. Not just her and Josh, which led me to believe earlier, that it was intimate. I for the record DO NOT THINK SHE CHEATED now.

BUT. Her coming in that late was a BIG no no, and you guys are really going to have to work through this, you are most likely to benefit from marriage counseling at this point, and not a bunch of paranoid dudes on sosuave who call anyone who disagrees with them a woman.

What else was I going to say...

OH. The dad being sick thing, the new baby, the complaining of wanting to go out, it leads me to think she was depressed, overwhelmed, feeling underappreciated, and losing her identity. That last one is a biggie.

This has been festering, and I think it is very mature of you to be able to see your part in this, and what you didn't do right. (You ignored her pleas).

For this to work, she needs to be mature and take responsibility for her wrong actions.

Marriage counseling. DO IT!

 

[iqqi]

I dont know but if it were me I would have been on the phone and telling Josh to stay the hell away from my wife!

Dude, you are totally caving here. Sex with her, your forgivness, your apathetc attitudes towards this all. You are only setting yourself up for a further fall by these actions. I'm not even saying she had sex with the guy though it certainly is possible, but just the other actions alone should have made you blow a gasket. You are being way to nice about all of this imo.

Yes you should take your wife out and yes you need to keep the romance going, but do all that after you have laid down the law and she has been scared sh1tless that you could and would leave her over this.

My god man wake up!

THIS is also gold. This is what I think you should do now.

You can convey this by going to marriage counseling, also. MC is a BIG DEAL. Tell her maybe you guys should have went BEFORE you got married, I hear that is a wise thing to do these days.

 

[Latinoman]

DJ_Traveller...

When it comes to her Dad...you, as her husband, MUST be there for her. After all, the Dad is your baby's grandDad. Do the right thing and be there for her.

However, in this instance, you must compartmentalize. In essense, the Dad situation cannot be merged with the Friday night behavior.

The fact that she is saying you are looking at her like she is tainted...that's fine. It tells her that you did not approve of her behavior and that every time she does something like that...you will find it tainted.

The sex part: When she said that you are giving to her hard...and that is alright because she was a bad girl or something to that effect...you should have said, "That's not the reason. Quite honestly, your Friday night behavior repulsed me and sex was the LAST thing I wanted from you. So, make not mistake and believe this sexual encounter has ANYTHING to do with your disrespect toward me". By saying that, you are making it clear that her behavior is one that borderline destroyed the marriage. She HAS to realize that. And then tell her, "Listen, if you want to go to the movies or dinner with your female friends...that's fine. But what you did last Friday was disrespectful to me and to yourself. I know things are not going well...but I promise you that things will get better. However, I can not work on this UNLESS you show that you respect me and are willing to sacrifice as much as I am. We have a child...let's focus on that child. I am more than happy you are going to school too. But if it comes between school, work, and party? It will be school or work. Your choice."

Continue gathering evidence JUST IN CASE. But...be there for her in the Dad's situation. For the same token...do NOT allow her to get you to feel sympathy for her behavior on Friday. Tough. But you have to separate things.

 

[KarmaSutra]

THIS is also gold. This is what I think you should do now.

You can convey this by going to marriage counseling, also. MC is a BIG DEAL. Tell her maybe you guys should have went BEFORE you got married, I hear that is a wise thing to do these days.

Marriage counseling would work if she admitted her dalliance. She won't do that so it's a moot point.

Brother Traveler and you girls/sissy marys/bleeding heart optimists need to realize when the jig is up.

Tha last damned thing this guy needs is to succumb to her idiocy and be her man at home.

She has the fvcking nerve to want Traveler to meet the guy who, more than likely, blew his cheese into her. And you think this is just a passable offense?

Only once will I say this:

WAKE UP! THE 'HOR MATRIX HAS YOU!

A new Karmic Law will be written specifically for men in Brother Travelers' shoes.

 

[Latinoman]

WOW. Gold.

BTW, with the new facts, I am thinking Wifey DIDN'T cheat.

She MIGHT have cheated...She MIGHT have NOT. That's not relevant.

Facts are relevant and here are the facts:

1- She went to a bar with a male...and she did it regardless of what her husband had to say.

2- She went dancing with other men.

3- She got drunk.

4- She slept in that other men house (which lives about 2 miles away from her own home).

5- She came home at 5 am...and scolded the stay-home-husband-that-was-feeding-their-baby.

6- She LIED...and then came "clean", after he questioned her.

Forget about the cheating...as we have no way of proven that. The issue here is that she DISrespected him. She made sure OTHERS DISrespected him (or lose respect for him). And she disrespected herself and selfishly disregarded her own child.


You and Charlie are seeing things from the "cheating" aspect. I am not. You nor Charlie have NEVER being married. I have...for MANY years. In fact, over a decade and half. I know what it takes to garnish respect...to be fair...and what it is needed to walk. My wife did not disrespected me. We divorced when I realized we were not going the same way...and we did it amiable. I still consider a "friend". So, this is not coming from a man that is "hating". In fact, I give her more child support than she is entitled to, as I make almost twice as much as her ($), but I don't give her alimony. That's for sure.