Yeah exactly, and like you said if she hasn't cheated yet she will in the future. I would be highly suspicious that any woman that pulls this didn't cheat. But again,even if she hadn't she's proven she is interested in doing it.STR8UP said:
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Wife goes to Club/Bar
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KarmaSutra
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Perfectly stated.STR8UP said:
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
u r in a bad position
Remember, consider your marraige to be ALL BUSINESS now.
Act as if nothing is up, and you are not suspicious of your wife. All the while, investigate everything she does:
1. Get a lawyer immediately to discuss what you really need to do.
2. scan the phone bills for strange calls. Find out who the people are using the internet(ie facebook) and phone book. DO NOT contact them.
3. install a keylogger on your computer, and read her emails once you obtain her password.
4. Log her behavior in a book. Keep it hidden.
5. Hire a good PI. Although it may be pricey, its a fraction of what you'd pay in alimony.
I am giving you this advice because her behavior is very suspicious.
Do not get emotional. If you show your cards she will be extra careful in hiding her tracks. Then, once things get intolerable, you'll be out of a lot of money come divorce time. You don't want to lose half of your life earnings to a cheating harlot.
Act as if nothing is up, and you are not suspicious of your wife. All the while, investigate everything she does:
1. Get a lawyer immediately to discuss what you really need to do.
2. scan the phone bills for strange calls. Find out who the people are using the internet(ie facebook) and phone book. DO NOT contact them.
3. install a keylogger on your computer, and read her emails once you obtain her password.
4. Log her behavior in a book. Keep it hidden.
5. Hire a good PI. Although it may be pricey, its a fraction of what you'd pay in alimony.
I am giving you this advice because her behavior is very suspicious.
Do not get emotional. If you show your cards she will be extra careful in hiding her tracks. Then, once things get intolerable, you'll be out of a lot of money come divorce time. You don't want to lose half of your life earnings to a cheating harlot.
I smell smoke!
Watch your bills the next 3 months and keep an open eye. Still keep your cool.
Oh boy your about to enter a roller coaster ride and this time your holding a baby with it. Hold on tight, this one's a thriller.
Her calling you 5 times(?) during the whole incident, well that sounds like a little remorse to me, but screw that what she did is far from acceptable.
Lets see how her remorse plays out, but remember this, its not about what she does! Its how "you" are gonna handle this!
Oh, I'm gonna be flamed for this one, so here goes.
There is gonna be two schools of thought here:
Some will say, be a man and handle her, get her back in line. Show her who is the "man", make her respect you again, become a better man, you can do better. Become the ultimate DJ... etc (internal)
Some will drive you to find resolve, like divorce, breakup, custody battles. A man shouldn't take this crap leave. She had no right, no excuse for what she's done leave her...etc (external)
Both options and advice do lead to the same path. It'll make you a better man. One is an "internal" battle and the other is "external", that is the only difference.
However remember this its ultimately your choice to make. What you choose, do it and do it right. Don't worry about failure. Failure will make you stronger as well. As long as you learn from your failures.
Watch your bills the next 3 months and keep an open eye. Still keep your cool.
Oh boy your about to enter a roller coaster ride and this time your holding a baby with it. Hold on tight, this one's a thriller.
Her calling you 5 times(?) during the whole incident, well that sounds like a little remorse to me, but screw that what she did is far from acceptable.
Lets see how her remorse plays out, but remember this, its not about what she does! Its how "you" are gonna handle this!
Oh, I'm gonna be flamed for this one, so here goes.
There is gonna be two schools of thought here:
Some will say, be a man and handle her, get her back in line. Show her who is the "man", make her respect you again, become a better man, you can do better. Become the ultimate DJ... etc (internal)
Some will drive you to find resolve, like divorce, breakup, custody battles. A man shouldn't take this crap leave. She had no right, no excuse for what she's done leave her...etc (external)
Both options and advice do lead to the same path. It'll make you a better man. One is an "internal" battle and the other is "external", that is the only difference.
However remember this its ultimately your choice to make. What you choose, do it and do it right. Don't worry about failure. Failure will make you stronger as well. As long as you learn from your failures.
RAFCToMackStatus
Don Juan
Shat like this makes me not want to get married. It seems like too much drama.
3countriesPlan
Master Don Juan
you can always find ways to explain the red flags.. I tried and I found out my ex was a fvcking souless monster.. here in Taiwan you store reciepts are kept and you can win a prize if the reciept number is one of the selected "lottery" reciept numbers.. so I won a small small prize.. (not much but the point is she jacked my prize).. she kept it a secret and redeemed the money for herself.. how I found out is due to snooping.. wtf.. she told someone it was my money but she needed it so she took it.. WTF .. anyways.. dude.. get that damn keylogger ASAP.. like one poster said its all business from here on out. Write down a journal of what you do everyday and whether she is with you. You will be able to keep track of your daily itinerary better and identify patterns or times she disappeared. I wish you luck man..
KarmaSutra
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If it were just he and she it would be vastly different to make a definitive choice. As it is there is an infant involved. This complicates matters exponentially.
I would bide my time and get as much concrete evidence as possible.
I would bide my time and get as much concrete evidence as possible.
Rumpelstiltskin
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rumpelstiltskin
LMS, may his soul rest in peace, would have given something along the lines of this insight, in response to your response in his stead, and to give insight into DJ Traveller's pain...
The advice that I read here is not "solid" as you state SF. they are advocating a conciliatory reaction to her wrongdoings, and this avoidance "action". or reaction, would only encourage the same behavior in the future.
He is not in the matrix, as you state SF, because he couldn't sleep that night, this tells you that he is outside of the matrix because his uneasiness is telling him that her action and this situation, is not right, at the genetic, natural level. So, in essence, his mind is reinforcing the reality of the situation by indicating an atmosphere of concern. If he had no concern for the severity of this situation and would have fallen asleep uninterruptedly, then he would be in the matrix - and that is where the advice here is going to put him! Those who are in the deepest clutches of the matrix are those who perpetuate myths at the expense of truth!
This is about two issues 1. Respect 2. Control
A wife who respects you, as a husband, would not even have thought of going to a bar or a club without you being present. And because she doesn't respect you then you have lost control; thus, she does as she pleases.
But it is not your fault, in this regard, because a woman who doesn't respect herself will expectantly not respect others. Wherein you, DJ Traveller, lay fault and hold the blame, is the fact that you have chosen a woman, as a wife, who doesn't respect you as a husband/father, i.e., leader. Do you see your blunder?
Only marry a woman who respects herself and then you'll know that she'll respect you, and you wouldn't have to control her because by her respecting her feminine self, being in sync with the rhythm of truth and the natural order of things, she is following the genetic universal law, which puts you, the man, in control of her , as a wife, and your children, your family - their welfare is in the man's, your hands! The husband/father is the leader of the family!
By her defiance and ill conduct, and extremely inappropriate behavior and action, she wants to break away from your natural innate genetic control of her and become an artificial construct!
This is a very dangerous time for you DJ Traveller - Conflict is the result and a split inevitable! Prepare mentally, spiritually, economically!
Some guys here are going to blame you for her disrespect, or say you are insecure, don't believe them. Her artificially manipulated and constructed mindset is at the route of the problem.
The Matrix is the Unnatural Order Of Things! This is psychological warfare - mind control!
The dominant thought in the world today is not derived through knowing truth, but through, and by influencing the masses' thought through contrived means, which produces a false image of reality - what many here call "perception" - which is The Matrix! - a false and dangerous world!.
Yep, LMS would have said something deep, like that.
..
Her lie tells you that she knows that what she did was wrong, otherwise she merely would have told you the truth, if what she did wasn't in the wrong. Understand?STR8UP said:
Sorry to hear that you had a hor for a wife SF, but it wasn't your fault, or was it? The answer to this question is within this response - do you see it? Read...Señor Fingers said:My first wife did this to me as well. Practically the same excuses word for word. Turns out she was boinking some dude from work... totally lame.
You've already gotten some solid advice here, so I will just say this in honor of LMS who can't say it himself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ghost of LMS
This is not the natural order of things!! Women were not meant to be clubbing and drinking all night while you play Mommy!!! You thought you were being a good husband and provider but you were just the next pimp in line!!!!!!! Wake up brother!!! The Matrix has you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
or something along those lines
LMS, may his soul rest in peace, would have given something along the lines of this insight, in response to your response in his stead, and to give insight into DJ Traveller's pain...
The advice that I read here is not "solid" as you state SF. they are advocating a conciliatory reaction to her wrongdoings, and this avoidance "action". or reaction, would only encourage the same behavior in the future.
He is not in the matrix, as you state SF, because he couldn't sleep that night, this tells you that he is outside of the matrix because his uneasiness is telling him that her action and this situation, is not right, at the genetic, natural level. So, in essence, his mind is reinforcing the reality of the situation by indicating an atmosphere of concern. If he had no concern for the severity of this situation and would have fallen asleep uninterruptedly, then he would be in the matrix - and that is where the advice here is going to put him! Those who are in the deepest clutches of the matrix are those who perpetuate myths at the expense of truth!
This is about two issues 1. Respect 2. Control
A wife who respects you, as a husband, would not even have thought of going to a bar or a club without you being present. And because she doesn't respect you then you have lost control; thus, she does as she pleases.
But it is not your fault, in this regard, because a woman who doesn't respect herself will expectantly not respect others. Wherein you, DJ Traveller, lay fault and hold the blame, is the fact that you have chosen a woman, as a wife, who doesn't respect you as a husband/father, i.e., leader. Do you see your blunder?
Only marry a woman who respects herself and then you'll know that she'll respect you, and you wouldn't have to control her because by her respecting her feminine self, being in sync with the rhythm of truth and the natural order of things, she is following the genetic universal law, which puts you, the man, in control of her , as a wife, and your children, your family - their welfare is in the man's, your hands! The husband/father is the leader of the family!
By her defiance and ill conduct, and extremely inappropriate behavior and action, she wants to break away from your natural innate genetic control of her and become an artificial construct!
This is a very dangerous time for you DJ Traveller - Conflict is the result and a split inevitable! Prepare mentally, spiritually, economically!
Some guys here are going to blame you for her disrespect, or say you are insecure, don't believe them. Her artificially manipulated and constructed mindset is at the route of the problem.
The Matrix is the Unnatural Order Of Things! This is psychological warfare - mind control!
The dominant thought in the world today is not derived through knowing truth, but through, and by influencing the masses' thought through contrived means, which produces a false image of reality - what many here call "perception" - which is The Matrix! - a false and dangerous world!.
Yep, LMS would have said something deep, like that.
..
Last edited:
iqqi
Master Don Juan
Rumpelstiltskin said:
It could be cuz an iq is dr=unkn, but me doesn't think they DESERVE that deep sh!t edit... RumpiestiltS...
After ALL.
LMS... been deemed a troll. And banned, as per ALLEN. DENIGRATION = DOESN'T FOLLOW THE NORM!!! AVOID MATRIX THINKIN'.
Rumpelstiltskin
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I believe George Carlin commented on this.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KReZyAZLI0&feature=relatediqqi said:
Nelford
Don Juan
Dude you had that gut feeling for a reason and now look. If you would have pulled that same move you would have been accused of cheating. I had a girlfriend that pulled a move like that and guess what, her a$$ was fired the next day and we were together for years. I love myself too much to let someone treat me in that type of fashion. She called for weeks trying to explain herself and I held my ground and didn't take any of her phone calls or emails. Your situation is a whole lot diffrent with a kid and marriage. It sounds to me like there is someone else and that little arguement was a way for her to hang out with him. A excuse to say I was mad at you and needed a break.DJ_Traveler said:
I may not of cought it in your original post, but has she done this before?
If you ever, ever, EVER find yourself in a situation where your girl blows something out of proportion and gets "pissed" at you, it's a HUGE red flag. If she gets pissed and says "I'm going out with friends tonight" and doesn't show up till 5am....DEAL BREAKER.stumped said:
Traveler, you see all this great wisdom? It's because we've all been through it brother, and we know this stuff.
Now she knows you know and she'll be more careful to cover her tracks.
She kept calling you, BTW, to check on you, lest you somehow managed to drop off the baby with grandma and come out to hunt down the little woman and see what she's up to. Maybe you'd find out she wasn't even at the club that night?
Mentioning the "roommate" is to make it sound like nothing could've happened between her and Josh. But let me tell you, that could be a lie, or they could've had a three way or simply the roommate doesn't care less what drunken married women Josh brings home to bang.
I'd suspect that her whole story of being out dancing was a lie. She may very well just have been with Josh at his place all night long.
She bought a prepaid telephone card and would use it while she was out of the house, from other phones. So her calls never showed up on her cell phone bill.
Welcome to the Club no one wants to be in.
The sad painful truth is that you do know what to think, but you'd rather not, because it's devastating to accept. This is known as "Denial".
Did I not say she would offer up some excuse if you confronted her about Josh?
Now she knows you know and she'll be more careful to cover her tracks.
So she wishes you'd take her out to have fun, which you haven't been doing because it costs money and money is tight. Well, my friend, women cost money, wives cost money, and you just have to figure out if your best interests are served spending some of it on the wife to keep her happy or not.
She kept calling you, BTW, to check on you, lest you somehow managed to drop off the baby with grandma and come out to hunt down the little woman and see what she's up to. Maybe you'd find out she wasn't even at the club that night?
When the club closed and she was drunk, they should've called YOU or arranged a taxi for her to go home. Going to his house? Plus she admits it? She's WAY crossed the line. Your marriage is over.
Mentioning the "roommate" is to make it sound like nothing could've happened between her and Josh. But let me tell you, that could be a lie, or they could've had a three way or simply the roommate doesn't care less what drunken married women Josh brings home to bang.
Again, that's to make it sound like he's harmless. "Hey, your wife was drunk and I was being a good friend and giving her a place to sober up". Right. "Gee Josh, did you ever consider calling her a taxi?" There's no point talking to him.
I'd suspect that her whole story of being out dancing was a lie. She may very well just have been with Josh at his place all night long.
When your gut tells you something's wrong, it's usually because something's wrong and you're picking up on it. You see, when nothing's wrong, there's nothing to pick up on so as to feel that way.
A woman who wants to fool you can fool you. I'm a fairly intelligent guy, with a genius level IQ, and my ex fooled me.
She bought a prepaid telephone card and would use it while she was out of the house, from other phones. So her calls never showed up on her cell phone bill.
So basically, you married a stranger, you don't have enough money to be married, and for all you know, she lied about being on the pill. No wonder this is biting you on the a$$ now. Live and learn. So sorry you're going through this.
Welcome to the Club no one wants to be in.
Ha! But she didn't tell you how emphatically she kissed back!
LMS ghost would have said:
When you got a woman like this the worst you could have done is provoke her. By stright up calling her lazy instead of doing so covertly she finally snapped. Her rational was: "If he thinks i am lazy then I will show him!! I don't need this sh1t right now I am going out and have fun and forget about the fact that I have a husband and a baby at home".
You say their weren't any games?! I beg to differ. I believe that this woman wanted to get married and that was her game plan (my guess she is in her late 20's or in her 30's). Most pregnancies from using the pill occures due to human errors. She was either not taking/forgetting to take the pill at the right time, her body rejected the pill due to use of other medications, or she purposely WANTED to get pregnant and stopped taking the pill all together. IT IS FOR THOSE REASONS ALONE, I KEEP TELLING MEN TO NEVER EVER TRUST A WOMAN WITH THE PILL. ITS EITHER A CONDOM OR YOU ARE OUT OF THERE.
Now it sounds to me as if the whole marriage thing was done in a hasty manner. You really didn't plan on marrying this broad, but because of the baby you decided to "do the right thing". This decision of doing the right thing is often the wrong thing especially when you are pressured into something.
lol now back to serious issues:
That is a blatant shot at you right here. She didn't have the chance to go dancing means that its because YOU didn't take her out to go dancing.DJ_Traveler said:
Oh it gets better. Now she decides to use her anger as an excuse to drink it up! and then wants you to talk to Josh as if he has to corroborate her story!! innocent people don't tell you this, their actions speaks for itself (she knows she messed up but won't admit it).DJ_Traveler said:
Welcome to Western Women 101. When you get married and have a baby, sacrifices are needed to made. However most women think that they can easily BALANCE it all out, that marriage and having a baby is just a cakewalk and they can still have as much of a life as they did before. You on the other hand was more rational, she is basing it on emotions and again blames you.DJ_Traveler said:
When you got a woman like this the worst you could have done is provoke her. By stright up calling her lazy instead of doing so covertly she finally snapped. Her rational was: "If he thinks i am lazy then I will show him!! I don't need this sh1t right now I am going out and have fun and forget about the fact that I have a husband and a baby at home".
This last paragraph pretty much summed up the peril of who is this woman and why you are in the situation you are in.DJ_Traveler said:
You say their weren't any games?! I beg to differ. I believe that this woman wanted to get married and that was her game plan (my guess she is in her late 20's or in her 30's). Most pregnancies from using the pill occures due to human errors. She was either not taking/forgetting to take the pill at the right time, her body rejected the pill due to use of other medications, or she purposely WANTED to get pregnant and stopped taking the pill all together. IT IS FOR THOSE REASONS ALONE, I KEEP TELLING MEN TO NEVER EVER TRUST A WOMAN WITH THE PILL. ITS EITHER A CONDOM OR YOU ARE OUT OF THERE.
Now it sounds to me as if the whole marriage thing was done in a hasty manner. You really didn't plan on marrying this broad, but because of the baby you decided to "do the right thing". This decision of doing the right thing is often the wrong thing especially when you are pressured into something.
cordoncordon
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She called him 5 times throughout the night. That really doesn't add up for me as someone who was out fvcking another guy. I think she was pissed off for who knows what reason and was trying to make him jealous. She wanted to talk like most women do, he was ignoring her phone calls, so she got more upset and more upset and thought she would teach him a lesson. For sure not the right way to go about solving the problem lol. Wow talk about over reaction.
I think this woman has some serious issues and you should walk carefully my friend. One thing that does make me think a little though..why does she have this Josh guy saved on her phone under his name? If it was for class ok, I guess, but it does strike me as odd that she would have some guy classmates name in her speed dial.
I think this woman has some serious issues and you should walk carefully my friend. One thing that does make me think a little though..why does she have this Josh guy saved on her phone under his name? If it was for class ok, I guess, but it does strike me as odd that she would have some guy classmates name in her speed dial.
Sorry, I've been in this situation twice, I have known friends that were in this situation, and I've seen wives and g/f's when they are out doing stuff behind their man's back, and they are ALWAYS, WITHOUT EXCEPTION doing something they shouldn't be doing if they roll in well past last call.cordoncordon said:
Leaves the house pissed, goes out with "friends" and doesn't get home until 5am?
She MIGHT not have let him insert his willy but I would bet just about anything that
a) She was WITH another guy
b) She was at another guys house
c) Another guy's tongue was down her throat (for some reason this makes women feel "appreciated")
d) She was engaging in behavior that is completely inappropriate within the bounds of a committed relationship, and should be given the AXE at the first convenient opportunity.
Women no longer get the benefit of the doubt with me when it comes to stuff like this.