Why you may not be getting laid.

[Gunwitch]

There are many internal reasons I have found lately that a guy may not be getting the sex life he wants.

Usually these are based on one of 3 things:

1. NO WOMEN

Some guys do not talk to, do not meet by accident, do not work with, do not know ANY women. Yet feel like a "loser" because they dont get laid. This is simple logic of course.

2. NOT WANTING TO GET LAID

A lot of times I work with a guy to the final conclusion of:

"I live with my parents and don't want her to know that, how can I take her anyplace"

"I have a small penis, it's all worthless to even bother"

"I am too skinny, I don't want her to see this"

"I am too fat I don't want her to see this"

"I am not really attracted to them, I don't care"

In other words.....

"I DO NOT *WANT* TO GET LAID!"

Yeah when you go out you may talk to some women and try to "game them" but if you know at some core level that you dont wanna get laid for real, then you will not persist at any level.

There are 3 points you need to persist at

A: To a rapport. You MUST stick in there and talk normally. If not, and you just walk away because of a dead spot in the conversation, you are lost always, because this is just how conversations go at first.

If you are not wanting to "have to" get to trying to lay her because you don't even have an attraction to her, then you of course will walk away at the first sign of any difficulty.

B: To getting her alone with you. When you first ask a chick to go home with you or get alone with you she will usually hem and haw and say "oh I dunno if I should" etc. You have to persist past this.

If you are scared to take her home cause your house is stinky, your roomate doesnt respect you and will bust her balls and yours when you go back, or your grandma is there, then you won't bother to persist.

C: When making out and she says "we should stop" "I don't know if we should be doing this".

If you don't want her to see your body. Or maybe you think you need a bigger ****, not realizing orgasm in human beings is all mental, and the physical is just a catalyst for it, you won't bother to persist here either.


3. NOT BOTHERING TO HAVE ANY REAL VALUE. I am not talking some sort of "demonstrate value" type of bull**** here.

I am talking knowing you are better than other men in SOME way of some sort. You merely need to be the **** in her face, available at the moment in most cases.

BUT if you are yourself not feeling like you should be f*cking this given chick, then of COURSE you wont try.

I mean do you think "she is so fit and I am just average I shouldn't be with her" or "she wouldn't want me".

Or do you think "she is a rich girl and I work at this or that dumpy store I wouldn't be valuable to her"?

**** all that. Realize you 100% will if you just try, break through all these barriers.

Really examine these things and find the ones you screw up on.

You WILL progress after dropping them and instead making effort.

No magic pill, just good old fashioned trying to **** chicks. All you really need to get started laying decent looking chicks is to get ya used to it as a reality/idea of your life.

 

[Visceral]

This is one of those "vicious circle" situations, isn't it, where lacking something makes it harder, not easier, for you to get it ... because lack usually motivates attempts to gain, but here it does exactly the opposite and perpetuates itself.

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but a lack of will."
- Vince Lombardi

 

[Caldus]

My problem is #1. I swear it's like I'm destined to not be in a position where I can "accidently" meet women. I always wonder all the time where the women are.

 

[Caldus]

Also,

I have a fear of approaching women at my college because I'm afraid if I keep getting rejected by a lot of these women, then it will spread around to a lot of other women there and thus gain a bad reputation for myself. I don't want all of these people knowing about me being rejected by a lot of women. How can I overcome this fear? I think this is also why I don't have a social life there either.

 

[undesputable]

nice post. yea i agree, the main reason for people not getting laid is because they put all those obstacles in their mind. and thats the worst thing, that most obstacles are mental meaning that will is the only way to get rid of them

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

Gunwitch hey bro, welcome back! Your club tactics and techniques post was awesome! Great job!

Attitude plays a major role in the life of man, just as water does in the life of a fish....hehe...

Gunwitch you are correct, and men have all those problems as you described, an alternate route for them, could be if they changed their attitudes to being positive......

A lot of guys work on their jobs, and deal with people and life situations based on how they feel......which as we all know, we can feel good now, and bad in five minutes...

Instead gentlemen, lets work on keeping a positive attitude. This will help keep you focused on doing a good job even when you dont feel like it, and keep you focused on meeting new and great women, even if you dont feel like it or, feel you fit the bill.

Attitude will take you high, or leave you dry. Being negative keeps you down and out, but being positive, positions you for a great reward, even if, you are not feeling too well at the moment.

With Great Lov Guys- Pvssyeater

 

[Muppet]

I am stuck with #1 also, all my classes in college were all guys, all my jobs were all guys. Only female friends I had was when I was in HS but lost contact with all of them.

 

[wind20mph]

why you may not getting laid... simple... it's because you don't want to.

There are no three reasons. only one reason.

because if you want it you will find a thousand ways, but if not, a million excuses.

Get it.

Now get out there and get laid.... whoah


wind20mph

 

[WORKEROUTER]

To the guys whining about having problem #1..This is just not believable! I am not f*cking buying it!

There are literally women EVERYWHERE. At the bus stop, in a coffee shop, at a book store, etc.!

And to the guy worried about developing a bad rep by getting rejected by a few girls...wtf are you thinking? Just be confident, talk to women, and ask some out...noone is going to start ostracizing you!

 

[SDBmania]

Good post, but you forgot one reason being that maybe we just dont want to get laid. Not for being insecure, but not seeing it as nessisary unless in a realtionship? Of course I see nothing wrong with going out and having lots of sex, but not all of us define our lives based on out sex life.

Just curious.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

number 2; I'm guilty

I fit number 2 to a tee.
There are a few hot chicks in the summer class I'm taking, but I keep making excuses not to game on them.
Ever since I've gone back to school, my finances are severly limited. After bills, rent, and tuition I barely have enough to spend on anything fun. I haven't gone out to a club or bar in a couple of months. It's like I've mortgaged my social life until I graduate.
The only good thing about staying home all the time is that I've started working out and enjoying the hell out of it. I've lost about 15 pounds in three months so far.

 

[Caldus]

Originally posted by WORKEROUTER
To the guys whining about having problem #1..This is just not believable! I am not f*cking buying it!

There are literally women EVERYWHERE. At the bus stop, in a coffee shop, at a book store, etc.!

And to the guy worried about developing a bad rep by getting rejected by a few girls...wtf are you thinking? Just be confident, talk to women, and ask some out...noone is going to start ostracizing you!

It's a dumb fear I know, but a fear for me nonetheless. I can't convince myself that it wouldn't happen. I see myself trying to pull girl after girl and then eventually they tell other girls ... and more and more girls know about it.

Or like I end up meeting girls that were friends of other girls I tried in the past and I have this fear that they would laugh at me. Yes I know ... dumb fear ... at least I'm being honest with myself here...

 

[Caldus]

And something else that always bothers me ...

When you try to pull women in random places like book stores, etc. I often wonder if these women actually want you to approach them (and whether it is just bothersome to them). I mean I figure that most women would want to be hit on at parties or other social scenes, not when they are out doing errands. Maybe I'm seeing this the wrong way. What I really want to know is ... where do you guys have the most success? What kind of places? What kind of places actually work?

I often find myself making excuses all the time not to meet anyone in general. I have social anxiety but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. It's still there though.

 

[IsiMan84]

Originally posted by wind20mph
why you may not getting laid... simple... it's because you don't want to.

There are no three reasons. only one reason.

because if you want something, you find 100 ways to do that, if you don't want you can have 1000 reasons.

Get it.

Now get out there and get laid.... whoah


wind20mph

I agree with you to an extent but there are times when it is hard to find girls. I just moved to this town for the summer and I don't know anybody or where people go. I've asked about clubs and whatnot but there just isn't jack here. I go to work and back and that's about it during the week. I guess if I were really desperate I could just sit at Wal-Mart or walk around the mall every day and find people. There just isn't anything here though.

 

[Oxide]

Good post Gun, really hits home..

The thing is, i am at catch 22 of a sort. I love meeting new girls and getting to know them (especially hotter ones) .. it is a no-brainer now...

THe problem is upping this and getting to "we are gonna fvck" mode. I got a buddy who instantly goes into that mode as soon as he meets a girl.. this is why he is pretty successful (besides a rape charge..ermm)

How do you get it in your head that YES this GOREGOUS girl wants to FVCK YOU. I think this is the biggest obstacle here, and should be adressed a bit more. I dont know if this is confidence or whatever, but i find it confusing that i can speak to girls in my sleep but getting sexual with GORGEOUS girls is more difficult.

(I am talking about real 9's and 10's here... in my entire life i only had one GORGOUS girl who wanted to fvck me... the rest were 7-8's)


I am gonna try to respond to myself here hopefully trying to inspire others as well:


So, beautiful girls. Girls that EVERYONE checks out. Girls you dream of and see on TV. When you see one, what do you think?

"Wowza, she is hot! She must have a great life..always parties, has an awesome boyfriend and gets any guy she wants.. just look at all those guys ready to do anything for her!"

Sounds close? I know it does to me at times. People percieve good looking people to be smarter and more successful..it is a fact. But why do I think that i shouldnt be allowed to tap that? I am good looking, smart and healthy. What is stopping me from having sweaty sex with this model type of girl? I am not afraid of her.. not by any means.. but it seems like we are too different for each other? Is she better than me becuase all the guys want her? Or is it that i am not as good as other guy's that hit on her.. yeah that is it. So it is actually about competition with other guys...well, seeing how many chumps out there fail, what the hell am i worrying about? Hah, fukk this im going after this and treating her the same.. fvck these limits.


Hmm... you know, treating girls the same is the key here guys. Last goregous girl i was in a class with... i tried "playing it cool" and be all calm and mysterious for like 4 months.. slooowwwly warming up to her. Then we finally start talking and laughing... and what do you know school year is over and she is going to the opposite side of the state.. time wasted... both of us missing out.

For you guys who are in school, just like me, and worry about social status. You know what, fvck that. time to kick that sh1t to the curb. Next hot girl in your class, go for it. She rejects you, play it cool and show her you are not stressing over it. I've been rejected by 3(!) girls in the same class. (various reasons) but you know what, two months later nobody gave a sh1t. I am sure as hell not going to pass an opportunity becuase of social status anymore.. these are our lives guys!

Just like i always said.. this next girl..the girl you are afraid to approach.. is the girl who could possibly be the girl of your dreams.

 

[Gunwitch]

Originally posted by Caldus
And something else that always bothers me ...

When you try to pull women in random places like book stores, etc. I often wonder if these women actually want you to approach them (and whether it is just bothersome to them).

This is one of the biggest social conditionings that a guy faces in his sex life.

Being polite.

We of course when we imagine the scenario of approaching a woman tend to think of it from her perspective.

Some dude walking up to us or a panhandler etc. No one wants that.

This is why SO many conditionings are taken care of from the first understanding I have championed with GWM:

Women love sex, and want it just as much if not more than we do.

Once you start to screen the world, and womens behavior through that truth you see many many other truths.

ONE being that you walking up to a chick isn't "bothering" her in any way. It is almost like a woman walking up to you.

You may be tounge tied and not know what to say back (why we need good conversation fodder and rapport skills)

As a man of course you are much stronger and more dangerous to her (why we need to demonstrate some amount of normalcy, speak of mundane things a little bit, like "when I was doing my laundry the other day...." so she imagines you as human, not that boogey man she was told about).

She is also conditioned against having sex instantly with a stranger because it is "slutty", why we need to know how to overcome this.

YET at a core level she is GLAD you are there speaking to her, just as you would be with a woman speaking to you as long as she wasn't a fatty or old or something.

SO, we end up going to where:

Bars and clubs, where it is "ok" to talk to other people.

These places are geared toward women 100%. More men show up, more men will approach them after the bottle of courage they drink, the strongest toughest men show up, it is SUPER loud so you can not influence them as well (more based on initial looks) and "LADIES GET IN FREE!".

So the cycle continues.

A guy doesn't realize women want him just as much as he wants them (because lets face it are women gonna really reveal this? When they get all the compliments and gifts and free drinks and chivalry AND the sex already?).

SO he goes ahead and figures they will find him trying to meet them outside of where it is "ok" as impolite or bothersome.

He then goes out to the toughest battle ground of a bar or club and approaches women (or even watches the failure rate), and it gets reinforced that they don't want men even more to him.

NASTY cycle.

Went off on a bit of a rant there, but mainly just look at it logically:

Women let men they are attracted to: steal from them, beat them, lie to them, cheat on them, be mean to previous kids from other marriages. PLUS they RARELY have any female friends who are close (too catty), they moan and cry out and lose it from an orgasm compared to us, hell they even kill themselves at like 10 times the rate that men do over a lost lover.

They have no hobbies but rarely, well, working out, make up, fashion, hair, talking to men on the phone, watching people on TV make out and hook up, clubbing and partying. Notice any common thread there!?

Of COURSE they want us, in the end we are all they even ever think about it seems.

So of course approaching them outside of parties and clubs and bars may be akward at first, but surely you are not "intruding" any more than she would be intruding on you.

 

[Caldus]

Thanks Gunwitch. That makes sense.

Where do you find yourself having the most success with women? Should I try clubs or stay away from the night scene?

 

[whistler]

Originally posted by Gunwitch
Women love sex, and want it just as much if not more than we do.

...

Of COURSE they want us, in the end we are all they even ever think about it seems.

What they want is to secure a socially powerful man. When they daydream, it's not about Joe Loser.

As a man of course you are much stronger and more dangerous to her (why we need to demonstrate some amount of normalcy, speak of mundane things a little bit, like "when I was doing my laundry the other day...." so she imagines you as human, not that boogey man she was told about).

That's a point worthy of a book.

 

[redshift]

I am getting stuck with the "i think we should wait a little longer" scenario with this new girl i am dating. Its already been 4 dates and i havent even been able to fondle her t^ts let alone getting laid!

I am having a good time with her so far tho..lots of laughter and stuff, but i will look at this aspect for maybe 1 more date and then tell her straight, that sex is very important to me.

Any ideas guys for this noob?

 

[Tweek_1984]

Here's my problem:

Ok, if any of you can explain this then I will read very closely to what you have to say because I haven't got a clue!

So I'm in a club or at a party or something and I've chatted up some girl to the point where we're giving eachother bedroom eyes, kino, etc.

Then the idiot gear kicks in and I'm like a rabbit caught in headlights. As soon as I sense that I'm on the verge of walking out the building with this girl, I get paranoid and sometime even depressed. Conversation dries up as I concentrate on trying to overcome this fear, but it doesn't work.

Yet, when the girl has given up on me and left, I am completely stumped as to why that would have happened.

It's like I'm sexually paranoid.

I still have my V card. Are these anxious feelings caused by my fear of popping my cherry? Maybe, i suppose but I'm not 100% sure to be honest.