Why IOI's are basically useless.

[djjizzyjeff]

IOI's may seem great for an ego boost but what you need to do when you get them is not wait and ask the chick out and for her number A.S.A.P. as WELL AS mentioning her boyfriend to her.

Why? Because believe it or not. And I'm sure most of you are already well aware IOI's mean jack squat. Chicks will purposely send IOI's even if they want nothing to do with dating you and even IF they have a boyfriend. Why?

Because they are like little kids in CONSTANT need of attention. If they need their ego boost for that moody time of day they'll flirt with you, then do it later on to some other dude because most if not all of them are insecure even if in a relationship. Same with if they have but don't mention a boyfriend they'll STILL flirt till you call them out on the carpet with: So how's your boyfriend doing? even if you don't know them or know if they have one or not.

If a chick is serious about wanting to get to know you she'll not only flirt and give out her number but she'll ask if you're single and make sure she's single.

Two quick examples of chicks who flirted with me and gave out great "signs" of IOI that meant NADA but them seeking to "flirt" only for their OWN attention fix:

One hot chick ALWAYS used to come see me at my part time. Would come in with her mom, ask for me, talk, flirt, smile, compliment me, asked about me to a friend at a party whom told me later on, make direct eye contact with me etc. It went on for a while. Part of the time she had a BF. I had a GF and she knew it at the time so I never went for it.

Eventually I got her number and had to tell the mom it was for shoes as the mom was really friendly with me and asked why I asked for her number (daughter 23) I'm much older so I had to cover my azz.

When I called the chick she never answered nor called back to a simple VM message. I had her on FB before I deleted the whole thing and at random times (only tried three times) within months to say what's up..she never answered. Dropped the whole thing period.

Conclusion: I was "for the moment" attention. Nothing more.

Chick two: the other day another hot chick came into my part time who knows me ran up, hugged me, made small talk, smiling, constantly making strong eye contact, asked if I was single etc. I immediately asked how her boyfriend is doing (that's when she admitted she had one but didn't know if it would work out). Started telling me what a great couple we'd make and we should get married etc. (Trying to gas my head up). I kept it cordial and friendly and let her go on her merry way as the next day she was going on vacation with the boyfriend she "doesn't know if it's going to work with".

In closing the chicks even IF they are interested and single need to follow through on their end. If not...You keep it friendly and cordial and drop that attention fix you're giving them right then and there as a lot of chicks WILL play the IOI game only for their own self.

You never show your hand and get emo or pissed at them. Think of them as a kid. Smile, be friendly and drop their nonsense. Don't worry. They'll soon forget about you even if you do and run off for IOI self attention fixes from the next chump they can reel into the attention game.

 

[VladPatton]

I agree with you. It's a semi-green light at best all these IOI's. The make or break is always within what happens after you get their number and try to set something up. It never fails. At this point I actually get entertained by the lame excuses they come up with! They are unoriginal, childish cop-outs that you have to laugh at.

Still gotta try though, just invest as little as possible until it's actually worth it.

 

[djjizzyjeff]

I agree with you. It's a semi-green light at best all these IOI's. The make or break is always within what happens after you get their number and try to set something up. It never fails. At this point I actually get entertained by the lame excuses they come up with! They are unoriginal, childish cop-outs that you have to laugh at.

Still gotta try though, just invest as little as possible until it's actually worth it.

I've noticed a lot of chicks give off IOI's even strong ones and words at times and come to find out later on the BF comes up or they're simply doing it as a challenge to hook the dude for AWing purposes or simple emotional self ego boosts for the moment. Same thing they do to you they run off and do to some other dude when you're not around. Thing is dudes at my part time talk and there's loads of known AW's running around that place, some even with BFs. It's a little more difficult to sense with customers but I've long ago got bored with the "IOI" game and have become immune to it.

I keep my ego in check as most often it's just for the chick especially if she feels she needs your attention for her own "feel good" yet doesn't want it to go further or to keep you as an orbiter or on the back burner.

You pretty much now have to ask about their boyfriend FIRST then if the answer is no ask for their number and go from there which there are still no guarantees.

Funny thing is you ask a chick why they do that they'll lie to cover their azz and say they were "just being friendly" when they know damn well what they were doing. If some dude they were dying to get with did that to them I'd love to see them buy that excuse as "legit".

Dudes need to step their game up, be cordial and friendly but drop the attention seeker right then and there.

Actually another chick had asked me to "hit her up" when I was going near where she lives and come to find out from another dude there she mentioned her boyfriend to him in random conversation a day or so later. Needless to say if I see her it's hey... And I keep it moving. Chick still tries to catch my attention from across the floor. I can sense her staring to see if I'll "notice" her. I keep doing my own sh1t.

IMO I'd say if a chick is REALLY into you she'll make it KNOWN she's single up front without being asked and will ask YOU to hang out and offer her number. Most hot chicks are almost always taken with the next dude in the wings as they simply are too insecure to be single yet will play that role till straight up asked about their BF.

I wouldn't waste time messing with other dudes girlfriends. period. As what comes around goes around karma etc. For other dudes I'd simply tell them to treat those types of chicks if they DO get with them as NEVER GF material. Simply pump and dump. It's what those types of chicks deserve and all they know.

 

[djjizzyjeff]

The last point is dudes are just as guilty for "falling" for chicks "IOI's" as the chicks who throw them out as it's "comfortable" for most dudes to just "go with the safe route flow" of the fantasy of "this chick might LIKE me" rather than cutting the nonsense right off the bat and asking about her boyfriend and if no BF going for their number. It's almost like we'd rather justify the chick is at fault for being an AW and a "tease" when as a man we need to cut the nonsense and step up, ask about her BF and if none. Go for the number.

 

[Mike32ct]

Agree with the OP and Vlad.

Plenty of women just like to flirt and want attention. It means nothing.

You can only call their "bluff" by making a move, ie getting a number AND and setting up a date.

 

[Zerro]

I agree that IOI's are unreliable, especially with the under-25er's who flirt with every man who catches their eye regardless of their actual availability. Call their bluff as soon as possible and find some way to casually inquire about their boyfriend so that they don't end up wasting your time.

 

[djjizzyjeff]

I agree that IOI's are unreliable, especially with the under-25er's who flirt with every man who catches their eye regardless of their actual availability. Call their bluff as soon as possible and find some way to casually inquire about their boyfriend so that they don't end up wasting your time.

Yep. IOI's aren't a "bad" thing so to speak it's just if you think you're getting them stop the nonsense and get out of the "OMG does she REALLY like me" fantasy safe zone and ASK her about her boyfriend not for her number first. If she says she doesn't have one..ask for her number. If she does. Tell her cool or whatever and DROP the attention or playing her "I fake 'like' you" self attention seeking game. Keep it cordial at that point but don't bother wasting time with a fake interest game.

Funny the chick who I mentioned last had come by where I work to go to the restroom today and as she came back looked at me and said: Oh I havent' seen you in like two weeks. Where have you been? We were talking and wondering about you. (meaning the other chicks in her area) We made quick small talk and I went about my business and as she was walking away said: Text me.

I said. Ok. And left it at that. NOT texting a chick I found out has a BF.

I think she was "concerned" because I KNOW she saw me the other day with the OTHER chick who has a boyfriend as well hitting on me HARD telling me "we should get married and we probably will" as a few co-workers asked me "Who's that chick?" when that one was asking me to help her with her heels and holding on to me etc.

A lot of these chicks play those games even with BFs. The key is to keep it cordial, play along a little, and not waste time wondering and let them go run along to play the game with someone else for their own ego boost.

 

[Gunner26]

Interesting stuff. I hadn't really looked at it like that, but it seems to make sense. Although I'm still pretty poor at picking up on IOI's unless I'm on a night out, then I find everything becomes even more exaggerated, girls are much more open with them. Again though, that may just be because they are trying to get attention from all the males around the place.

Gunner

 

[nismo-4]

Women know men look for IOI's all the time, as IOD's will make the men turn away and not give any attention.

Don't believe IOI's. Don't tolerate women's bullsh*t. Call their f**kin' bluff. There are lots of attention wh0res around. IOI's don't mean sh*t.

Case closed.

 

[djjizzyjeff]

Women know men look for IOI's all the time, as IOD's will make the men turn away and not give any attention.

Don't believe IOI's. Don't tolerate women's bullsh*t. Call their f**kin' bluff. There are lots of attention wh0res around. IOI's don't mean sh*t.

Case closed.

Excellent point about the IOD's. They'll ONLY give them if they don't find you attractive at all and don't even want you for orbiter status.

IOI's are only a green light for your FIRST question when you think you're getting them: So how's your boyfriend? What're you doing with your boyfriend this weekend? If she says she has one then keep it coridal and move on not showing any negative emotions but drop the whole fake "I like you" charade she is giving you for her own attention seeking purposes and she'll get the hint by you asking about her boyfriend right away that you aren't the type to play that nonsense being she already has a man.

You'll find out right up front if she's for real unless she completely lies about having a BF to which you use her as a possible pump and dump if you feel like it but never a wifey type.

If you don't ask about the BF when they give the IOI's then have fun in "I think she likes me" fantasy safe zone while she may just have a BF and be using you for for the moment attention seeking like a little kid.

 

[dementia]

isn't this the whole purpose of qualifying a girl to test the IOIs given beforehand? ^_-

 

[djjizzyjeff]

isn't this the whole purpose of qualifying a girl to test the IOIs given beforehand? ^_-

You test how valid the IOI's are by asking about her boyfriend first. If none. Then proceed for number and a hang out etc. Otherwise don't waste your time unless you prefer to sit idle in never finding out for sure but sitting back analyzing possible false IOI signals so the fantasy you've already built in your head of the two of you together doesn't pop.

 

[Zerro]

Excellent point about the IOD's. They'll ONLY give them if they don't find you attractive at all and don't even want you for orbiter status.

IOD's are the only ones you can rely on, a chick who gives them isn't trying to waste your time so get good at recognizing them. And always remember that a girl who gives IOI's but plays "hard to get" is just wasting your time, chicks don't play such games with men they do want.

 

[Fruitbat]

Excellent point about the IOD's. They'll ONLY give them if they don't find you attractive at all and don't even want you for orbiter status.
.

This is going to sound absolutely pathetic but if this is true I am actually quite flattered now. I have a AW who has gamed me for a while, certainly not a passing AW, she is constantly at it with me and keeps trying to pull me back in, despite me calling her out every single time.

She is one of the most sexy women I have ever known in real life, and I am actually flattered that she even wants me for an orbiter. She could probably pick from many men to get in orbit/backburner.

I always thought AWs would generally only game men they absolutely hated/were repulsed by, and I took the whole thing as an insult. I would only do this to a girl I despised for some reason - why else would you deliberately fvck their head up?

I understand if she was serious she wouldn't be AWing me, but at least she sees enough value in me for my attention to be some sort of a prize. How sad I am, I just WAS crazy about this chick for a long time and it's at least something that I mean something to her, even if it's to fill her empty brain with light entertainment. needless to say I handled it like a pro, and it's NC until I get something mature and worthwhile from her.

Yes, the above is incredibly AFC and she will never know this. Actually I don't have it for her that bad anymore, as now I know she is a player and not the incredible girlfriend and future mother to my children I hoped she would be.