Why don't I like this girl?

[kingwilliam]

I recently have been hanging out with what should be the ideal woman. She is beautiful, funny, loves football, cooks like a chef, insists on paying for things when we go out.............

I have always thought this girl was really hot over the past few years.....I knew her, but I never pursued it because honestly there was a point when I felt she was out of my league. (I realize now there are no "leagues") Anyway, now that I basically have her, I am just not into it. It bothers me on a couple of different levels.

First, I have picked up so many women over the past couple of years....and I have a bad habit of deciding whether or not they are gf material in the first 5 minutes. With this girl, I figured she was perfect....and she seems to be perfect. She is smokin hot.....literally looks like J-Lo, but for some reason I am not even all that turned on by her sexually either. I mean I have banged her a few times.......blah blah blah

Which brings me to my second concern: Am I ever going to be happy with a woman??? I am I too picky? WTF???

 

[squirrels]

Be careful you're not looking for love to fill holes in your life that only you personally can address.

What do you want from a woman? I mean REALLY want?

 

[kdnash82]

It's the chase that we love. You try and manipulate until you get the results you want and after you get those results, the thrill of the chase is gone. You've got your prize, what else is there?

Would you bother calling a girl that you had a one night stand with if it? Maybe if you were going through a dry spell, but even then, would you even bother calling her, pretending that you actually like her when it's been months since you've even talked? I sure hope not. ;

Could be part of the reason there is this thing in everyones head that says "Wait until you're married." At this point, you're married and there is no turning back. You get the cookie and then you're stuck with the crumbs once it's eaten.

 

[jophil28]

Anyway, now that I basically have her, I am just not into it. It bothers me on a couple of different levels.

First, I have picked up so many women over the past couple of years....and I have a bad habit of deciding whether or not they are gf material in the first 5 minutes. With this girl, I figured she was perfect....and she seems to be perfect. She is smokin hot.....literally looks like J-Lo, but for some reason I am not even all that turned on by her sexually either. I mean I have banged her a few times.......blah blah blah

Which brings me to my second concern: Am I ever going to be happy with a woman??? I am I too picky? WTF???

Hey - if you don't want her I will date her. What's her number ?

To be serious here - You got the old "forbidden fruit " thing going on.
WE place the highest IL on something, or someone, when they are out of reach. The reality of who they really are is outside of our awareness. We are smitten by our "perception" of them as 'perfect'. The danger of this mindset is that no woman is perfect in reality ,it is certain that our IL will be chipped way over time as she reveals her true self with all of her quirks and flaws. The only way is down.
Better to have only moderate IL in a woman and then let it build as she qualifies herself - however, the reality is that we cannot controls our feelings toward someone, can we.
Perhaps ypu have a dose of that favorite "feeling state" that is so popular with women . They just love "the chemistry" thing. Unfortunately that is the worst measurement of whether a person is suitable for an LTR. CHemistry is a cruel trick of nature - all brain chemicals.. IT says nothing about their character, and character quailties will determine the longevity and health of an LTR ,not perky tits.
Perhaps you do like this girl, but you are not out of control and SMITTEN with her and you THINK YOU SHOULD BE.
You did list her attactive qualities so you are aware of her desireable qualities .
If so - you are in a good place with her . You are past the ditsy teenager in love phase. That is GOOD. Don't make the mistake that women make by thinking that you are "falling out of love" because your brain is no longer drowning in dopamine.

 

[Drum&Bass]

I've never heard any straight guy with your dilemma, kingwilliam. Your story doesn't add up..how can you hook up with a girl your not sexually attracted to ??

I recently have been hanging out with what should be the ideal woman. She is beautiful

She is smokin hot.....literally looks like J-Lo, but for some reason I am not even all that turned on by her sexually either. I mean I have banged her a few times

somethings kinda weird

Am I ever going to be happy with a woman???

good question..like I said before I've never seen or heard of any STRAIGHT man with your issue.

I am I too picky? WTF???

You said she was perfect, what exactly are you nitpicking ?

Are you making this up or trying to come out ?

 

[joekerr31]

With this girl, I figured she was perfect....and she seems to be perfect. She is smokin hot.....literally looks like J-Lo, but for some reason I am not even all that turned on by her sexually either. I mean I have banged her a few times.......blah blah blah

Which brings me to my second concern: Am I ever going to be happy with a woman??? I am I too picky? WTF???

you're going to think im flaming you here, but im being serious.

is there any chance that you are gay?

the reason i say this is that you are saying a woman is smoking hot and that you are having sex with her but that you aren't enjoying it.

this sounds like someone who is gay but who has always lived a hetero lifestyle.

now, if you 100% sure you aren't gay deep down inside the ****les of your heart, then the problem is probably that you are tired of meaningless sex.

maybe try dating women instead of just f*cking them.

 

[ketostix]

He wouldn't have to be gay. Maybe he's asexual.

 

[kingwilliam]

Not gay at all................100% sure. I didn't mean that Im not turned on sexually by her....its just that I am not as excited sexually with her as I like to be with a beautiful woman. I have 5 or 6 women right now that I am talking to, hookin up with, etc......... Its just that with her, a woman I always visioned as the perfect girlfriend, 'aint all that now' that I have gotten to know her.

I guess what I want from a woman is someone that I could fall for if I were blind, just as long as my sight comes back she HAPPENS to be gordeous.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Its just that with her, a woman I always visioned as the perfect girlfriend, 'aint all that now' that I have gotten to know her.

ahh ok, your just immature and full of yourself.

 

[LovelyLady]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showth...Objective:+Infinity+Gauntlet:+fight+WARS+END!

See "Premature Evacuation"

 

[jophil28]

its just that I am not as excited sexually with her as I like to be with a beautiful woman.
. Its just that with her, a woman I always visioned as the perfect girlfriend, 'aint all that now' that I have gotten to know her.

I guess what I want from a woman is someone that I could fall for if I were blind, just as long as my sight comes back she HAPPENS to be gordeous.

NOt to dump on you dude but this thinking is a WOMAN's mindset.. THe girls want all that "feelly and excited" stuff most of all. Then , down the road, the 'feeling state' fades some and they start to see him "as not all that they want in a man" ..
THis is the attitude of " I love you but I am not IN LOVE with you anymore "- so then what do women do ? Get a divorce if they are married (70% of all divorces are filed by women- go figure) or start flirting with the pool guy or have an affair with that guy in the next cube at work.

THis "feeling" stuff is nothing more than brain chemicals swirling round.
Hey KW, you sound like you landed a real keeper here - do you REALLY have a problem ?
MOst guys rarely come on this board complaining that they have a "perfect " woman but the "feelings" are not there any more !!

Most of us have been involved with real A-Grade nutjobs of the worst kind..

Be grateful, my man ,and quit looking for "excitement" over character.

 

[kingwilliam]

Thanks Drum and Bass, that makes total sense!

 

[penkitten]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showth...Objective:+Infinity+Gauntlet:+fight+WARS+END!

See "Premature Evacuation"

nice!!

 

[aliasguy]

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Now, just WAIT a minute.

This guy says he's hitting other girls, and life is pretty much ok, and he meets this chick who he THINKS (based initially, though more is added later, on how hot she is to him) is "just right" for him. but then he spends some time with her. And now she's just not his thing.

And if she's hot, and 'cool,' and nice, and WHATEVER: well, that's great. But she's NOT "doing it" for him now.

OK, maybe he IS gay. Maybe he DOES have the "Premature evacuation" syndrome. Maybe he's "scared" to be with a woman who's a good match for him. Maybe he's insane, and just weeks away from going postal.

I dunno.

But so what? He's not ENJOYING his time with her. Maybe he needs psychotherapy, or a 12-step program, or time with the "boys" as suggested above, or whatever. But he really doesn't like this girl as much as he's convinced himself he SHOULD.

He doesn't HAVE to be all hot and bothered about some particular woman. He's said he's f*cking other chicks.

Why does failure to be all into ONE of them (albeit a girl he THOUGHT he'd REALLY be all into) have to be such a big deal? (I guess because he wrote us about it, huh?) But that's ok. Maybe she reminds him about one little thing about his mom, or an early girlfriend, or someone else, and that one little thing really pisses him off for some reason. Maybe she brushes her teeth in a wierd way that bothers him.

Perhaps she drags her teeth.

We really just don't know. But, for some reason, although he THOUGHT she was his kinda chick, she just isn't.


And I agree that there might be a little bit of girly stuff to this. ***Yeah, having any "feelings" about whether you'd want to be, or not to be, with a given woman, is pretty gay. *** ***sarcasm***



The guy's just not as into this chick as he'd HOPED he'd be.


Give him a break.



And, kingwilliam, just go get some other chicks, and forget about her. She's not your perfect princess. Go through as many as you can.



(To be truthful - NONE of them are going to be your princess. But that's ok.)

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[Luthor Rex]

you're going to think im flaming you here, but im being serious.

is there any chance that you are gay?

the reason i say this is that you are saying a woman is smoking hot and that you are having sex with her but that you aren't enjoying it.

this sounds like someone who is gay but who has always lived a hetero lifestyle.

It also sounds like someone who just has zero emotional attachment to this woman. Even if she is hot, if she doesn't make you feel anything then he's going to be apathetic.

I've heard rumors there are some males among the species that require an emotional connection to keep banging a chick past the point of getting that initial trophy.

This is actually one thing I've noticed about SS that I find a bit silly: too many men here are reacting against the AFC mindset so strongly they will deny all emotional ties. Divorcing emotional ties from sex, is like taking the jelly out of a PBJ sandwich.

And really... what would we do without jelly?

 

[edger]

KingWilliam, there must be something this chick does or has done that has turned you off where you aren't sexually turned on by her...because no dude in his right mind is going to be turned off sexually by a hot woman(unless you're gay). There has to be some way she acts/has acted that is causing you not to find her sexually appealing.

Or maybe what Luthor Rex said, happens to ring true for a small population of men out there, where they need an emotional connection to be sexually attracted.

 

[KarmaSutra]

ahh ok, your just immature and full of yourself.

Goddamn you're a spiteful prick.

The guy took time to get to know her and found she wasn't all that interesting. There is absolutely no shame in that at all. If a woman has the body of a goddess but the personality of a guy (let's call him D&B) he has every right to not bother with her.

It's his choice whether or not to feel any attraction towards her. He's spinning 3 or 4 other plates any-fvcking-way.

 

[KarmaSutra]

It also sounds like someone who just has zero emotional attachment to this woman. Even if she is hot, if she doesn't make you feel anything then he's going to be apathetic.

I've heard rumors there are some males among the species that require an emotional connection to keep banging a chick past the point of getting that initial trophy.

This is actually one thing I've noticed about SS that I find a bit silly: too many men here are reacting against the AFC mindset so strongly they will deny all emotional ties. Divorcing emotional ties from sex, is like taking the jelly out of a PBJ sandwich.

And really... what would we do without jelly?

The more posts of I read of yours the more I like you.

I agree wholeheartedly. I cannot get wood from a one nighter. Never have. I need some kind of emotional tug in order to get me going. Otherwise I see it as mechanical and robotic and thoughtless. What is the point of sharing your body with someone if they don't mean a goddamned thing to you? It's masturbation otherwise.

Guys in general love to wear that tough guy facade and pretend that no emotional wear can peirce thier armour. I declare that these guys are the ones who cry in their Cheerios.

Oh, and jelly is the highlight of the doughnut. That ganache surprise which fills your mouth with delight.

 

[iqqi]

Don't get mad at me for saying this... but just like you guys have a belief that women don't know what they really want? They say this, but do that...

Same for alot of men. This is scientifically proven!

 

[WaterTiger]

Don't get mad at me for saying this... but just like you guys have a belief that women don't know what they really want? They say this, but do that...

Same for alot of men. This is scientifically proven!

I remember an old, old rhyme:

I finally found the perfect girl,
I couldn't ask for more.
She's cute and mute and oversexed,
and owns a liquor store.




I don't think the OP is gay...he's just not that into her.