Why do you wanna hang out?

[crossfitter]

Been getting numbers and setting up for a 1st date and get asked quite frequently "why do you wanna hang out with me?" Given varying responses but most of the time it's along the lines of "you seem cool and like to see if there is more than just a cute smile." After this 50% become uninterested immediately. What are some responses you guys would give?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Crossdresser,
" you seem cool and like to see if there is more than just a cute smile."....I feel,a bit too Brusque other may disagree of course,But to me it comes across as you vetting her,that her feelings on the matter are pretty irrelevent to the issue in common....No I think even Clint Eastwood would not be so blunt...though of course we all know that you are vetting her,don't be too obvious....Can I say a 50% strike rate on the internet dating,would be considered very good....I think some think like...Well I was impressed with your conversation the other Day,(Ör I loved your profile,picked up on our shared interest in,X,Y,Z)just wanted to see if there is any chemistry here,I think Chemistry is soo important,don't you?the ball is in her court on a topic that will keep her talking for five minutes,and that is what your meeting is about,learning about her,let her blab away,remember a few key opinions that she tosses at you and later in the conversation return them as your own ideas,she will have forgotten she said it, and will enthusiastically support you!

 

[crossfitter]

Hahaha, nice name. Thanks!

 

[Die Hard]

Women and their bullsh!t questions...

She knows why you wanna hang out with her, so it's just a bullsh!t question. Which doesn't warrant a serious response...

I'd just say something like "coz I'm bored..." or "coz I got nothing better to do..." But with a ****y&funny attitude, not in a serious tone!! And that also counts for the rest of the conversation...

 

[zekko]

Been getting numbers and setting up for a 1st date and get asked quite frequently "why do you wanna hang out with me?" Given varying responses but most of the time it's along the lines of "you seem cool and like to see if there is more than just a cute smile."

It could be an innocent question, but I think just the fact that she asks it may show she lacks interest. Almost like she's looking for an excuse to flake.

Aside from that, your response might be putting too much pressure on her to perform. I know PUAs tell you to make them feel like YOU are screening THEM (and you should be screening them). But letting them know you are judging them doesn't exactly ramp up the fun, which is what you should be going for. Why should she go out for you if she feels it's too much like an audition?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I agree with the posters above. I guess it all depends on your rapport up to this point. It could be something she's asking because she's insecure. Or she could just be fukn with you, teasing or trying to play a game....have some fun with you.

Like I would always suggest, don't give them a direct response. I like the: "cuz I'm bored"....."and I was hoping you could entertain me." depending on her emotional fragilness you may need to attach a smiley at the end of that one. Some chicks are dimwitted and would take something like that as you being serious

Or you could just say: "why?" or "should I not want to hang out with you?"

Throw it right back at her.

 

[PlayHer Man]

You don't always have to answer every question a woman asks you.

The best response IMO is: "Why not?"

Its a retarded question. Its like going to a restaurant and the waitress asks you: "So why do you want to eat here?"

What kind of stupid ass question is that? :crazy:

 

[Scormus]

Low interest level. Next.

 

[LiveFreeX]

mmm why not just be totally upfront with her.

"Hey, I'm handsome, you are... ok, lets go on a date. "

Cuts through all the bs.

'Hang out' I would agree with her is completely stupid. Why? Who the fvck wants to hang out with a girl? I have 0 girls as friends for a very good reason, they are FVCKIN boring. My job used to be talking to girls and if I couldn't run game on them, the conversation was boring as fvck...

Me: "So what do you like to do?"

Them: "Sleep, Eat, Watch TV"

Me: "What do you like to watch on TV?"

Them: "Stuff.... so tell me about you!"

Then it would be me talking about myself and my hobbies and interests for an hour while their eyes glaze over with bordem.

Women define themselves through their men, they have no interesting things to talk about unless they are talking about their husband/boyfriend. My wife is boring as fvck without me around. Pretty much every hobby and game she has acquired from hanging around me. Her current job was a suggestion by my friends, her next 'avenue of study' was suggested by my mom and I. Sometimes she plays XBOX racing games with me and she really digs playing my card games (cluedo and monopoly). Her previous hobby was 'watch jap cartoons'. So I agree man, why the fvk do you want to hang out with a broad? Can you play Army of Two: Devil's Cartel with a woman? Likely no. Would you rather play a game with a buddy or hang out on a couch rehashing the same boring 'chick philosophy' conversations you've had with 100 other girls.

My answer would have been: "Yeah you're right, enjoy the cats beotch!"

----------------------------------------------------------------

Now for something a little more helpful: Go to WALMART and buy a deck of either CLUEDO(need a group of 4), UNO or MONOPOLY DEAL cards. (Its like 5 bucks for a deck). The next time you are with a girl, pull them out and say, ok lets see how smart you really are. Women LOVE card games, I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't. These games are simple and effective and they give you something to do together. If you were a fun guy, she would have asked YOU to hangout with her.

You could say to her "Look, I think you are sort of good looking but I need to know if you're fun because I hate boring people, sit down with me for 10 minutes and play this. If you win, I'll give you my number, if you lose, I'll take yours."

 

[scrouds]

Seems like this would be an apt time to pull out something i read on roissy, "..."

 

[The Duke]

Crossfitter - my response would be, because you'd make a good partner to race bicycles up and down the aisles at Walmart.

But the reason she is asking is because she is having second thoughts. These types will end up being a waste of time even if you do score a date.

 

[Jitterbug]

I've been asked that exactly once, and it was by my cluster B ex-GF lol

It's either a retarded question or a honest warning.

A Roissy's "..." would be a good response.

 

[crossfitter]

Espi,

That is roughly how I have been asking. Guess I have been too vague in how I ask out. Will do this from now on. Will also work on establishing more rapport. Understand now this is a $hit test and with low IL and treat is as such.

 

[pierce_r]

But yeah it's very important to be specific. People respond in kind. Send out a clear date invite and 99.9% of the time you'll get a clear response. Send out a vague invite (i.e. "Wanna hang out sometime?") then expect to get a vague response. People respond in kind.

A lot of guys make that mistake. They SUGGEST a date invite but they don't say WHERE AND WHEN they want her to meet them. Not good enough. You have to make her accept or reject your invite. It's easier for her to string you along if you say, "We should get together sometime."

In my opinion, if you're clear about your intentions, and she still asks why, then she's doing it to be rhetorical--and you don't have to answer to her bullshiat.

This.

I never ask a girl if she wants to "hang out." What are you, twelve? You're gonna play video games? Watch a movie together and hope you can put your arm around her?

Have something you're DOING. Then invite her along. Not something you think chicks will dig, either; something YOU want to do.

- Your buddy's going to the dragstrip to run his dad's old Camaro.
- Your coworker's kid is fighting at youth boxing night at the YMCA.
- You're going to a city council meeting where you're going to stand up and take your fight to The Man. You've had it with this ****. It'll take too long to explain; she'll understand when she gets there.
- Have her come over and hand you beer and tools and talk to you while you work on your car (or in my case, my boat).
- Go to an art opening.
- Go check out a new restaurant.
- Climb a mountain to pick the blueberries in a meadow at the top.

I have done all these things as "dates," and more, inviting girls to come along. Usually, they do. Sometimes they don't. Even if they decline, they know that I'm out there, with a life of my own. Even if it's something they don't normally do, the fact that you actually do things makes you interesting.

The point is, whatever you like to do, go DO IT and invite her along. She can come along and hang out with YOU if she wants. If she turns you down, then you're still having fun, and who knows? You might meet a girl there, especially if you're having fun.

You are not hanging out with her. Not at first, that's for damned sure. She is hanging out with you. You decide what happens in your life with her, and that becomes the basis for your relationship.

She will never even realize that you're doing this. You'll just seem masculine and awesome and in control of your own life, and this will set you apart from the hundreds of hand-wringing, mewling d@uchebags asking her if they can please please please spend time in her presence.